Authors: slytherinsRsexyer7283 and beater#4
Rating: PG-13
Summary: 5 years after arriving at Hogwarts, Harry's love life falls apart and he finds himself falling for Slytherin's biggest slut! But will his rebound turn into more when certain truths about his lover are revealed?
Disclaimer: You've read this far and you still need a disclaimer?
Chapter Twenty Two: Mitch On the Run
You do the Ronald
You do the Ronald
You do the Ronald
You do the Ronald
- Ronald McDonald, "You do the Ronald"
~
"I should have known you'd be here, Professor McGonagall." Dudley said to his parrot.
Ron was trying to cut a lightening bolt on his forehead with a craft knife. "Yessssss now
I'll be as rich and as famous and as good looking as the famous Harry Potter..." Ron
gnarled to himself.
"Ron! You shouldn't be here!" Treffor caught Ron with the knife in his elbow.
"Neither should you..." Dean weasled.
Takato used his digivice to digimodify Guilmon. "Digimodify! Poorness activate!"
But nobody was prepared for Ron's ultimate plan...
Meanwhile at the Hogwarts car park, Ginny was setting up a game. An amazing game full
of adventure and excitement. "Okay guys! Lets play Arabian Whispers!" Everyone
gathered around in a circle, even Master Quatre with his people.
"I shall start!" Ratio motioned with his hands and swirled his moustache and twirled his
cape. He leaned into Madame Pomfrey and whispered a chamberly secret that shall not
be named... "Hushshshhshhhhshhshhhshhshsh!" It was as if someone had said
Voldemort (hushshhshsshhsh!) and Barty shivered in anticipation wheezingly.
Madame Maxine skanked on Gringotts Goblin #63 and whispered hoarsely in its ear. "Let's match the power of Slytherin against the famous Harry Potter."
Dean Thomas raped Seamus's face and whispered an Irish secret. "Anyone want a
slightly-used fluffy thing?"
Seamus undressed Tom Riddle with his Irish smiling eyes. "I live for this shit!" And once
again Ron was made a few cents poorer by the swear box as Vin yelled in Xander's ear.
"Once I make my move, you'll be free to take the Queen." Ron poored bravely to Harry,
whom he thought was his best friend.
"No Ron, NO!" Harry hushed to Cedric's decomposing corpse.
Chow maoved Cedric's lips and snapped his neck towards Alun, the Twins' friend. "What
is it?"
Alun nodded at the body and won the Junior Clubman of the Year award, and lay down
on Fred... or was it George? No, really it was Fred. "He's going to sacrifice himself!"
The twins tickled Alun and whispered sweet nothings into Wufei's ear... "No Ron, you
CAN'T!" Wu - Fei turned to the Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, Oliver Wood and
snarled into his ear, "Scuppers is dead!" Oliver began to cry, clutching his Sailor Dog
book.
"The powers of darkness...." he whispered to the dodgy Potato sack Iori Slut who began
vibrating and eyeing TK hungrily. TK hid behind Matt, so Cody had to whisper to Takato.
"No Takato! Stay away from that strange little boy!" Draco, one of Takato Potfoy's Dads
warned his son.
So Cody had to whisper to Hagrid, who picked him up and put him in one of his jacket
pockets.... "Oh no its Ken. Well, here he comes..." The half-giant giggled at Iori's kewl
logic, and squashed him.
He took a few giant steps over to Orlie and gristled his gristle on Orlie's face and dribbled giant dribble as he blew in Orlie's ear, "Dry up Dursley you great prune!" Orlie turned to
Zippo, a talking dinosaur that lived in Dinotopia who was currently playing Ping Pong.
"Psst... Puffapod..." The badly computer animated dinosaur nodded and turned to the
pilot of Gundam 02, Duo Maxwell.
"Woohoo! Dinotopia!" Duo killed some people.
"You're my hero, Heero!" The braided baka (not Chewbacca!) whispered to the Perfect
Soldier.
Heero got up from Duo's lap and killed Relena and sat on Seamus, whispering to his Irish
lover. "My ayebrowz have groon bak."
"What's Seamus trying to do?" Harry asked.
Ron popped out from behind the Ford Anglia in the car park and made some handicapped
noises. "*handicapped noise* Harry, yay *handicapped noise* duh Harry. Trying to turn
water into rum *handicapped noise*."
"Ron its not your turn!" Hermione scolded angrily.
Meanwhile, Seamus was having some fun with HIS Irish lover, Ronan the Centaur.
"You're that guy from Boyzone, aren't you?" Ronan keatened at Seamus's sandy hair and
galloped over to Hermione...
"When you say nothing at all!" Hermione raped the centaur.
Suddenly in a corner not too far away from the games a giant spider was spinning a
fable.
"Seamus, I can't wait till you're legal..." Ratio snidely sniped rebelly.
"Neither can I... lets go to Japan where the legal age is 14..." Seamus ayed at the rebel
known as Ratio.
"Okay." And go to Japan they did.
Secretly inside a grubby pile of rubbish, Ron was creating his latest creation.
"Aha! Its finally complete!" Ron cackled like a mad scientist. "My genetically enhanced latex
rubber mask molded to Harry's face will quantumly deceive the one and only Malfoy. Draco Malfoy. And he'll fall in love with me and our love will create an eternal bond and we'll NEVER BE SEPERATED!!!!!!" Ron cackled again, and slipped on the mask made with paper, cellophane and glue.
Ron/Harry looked in the mirror.
"Aha! I know what it needs to complete it!" Ron dug around in his satchel and pulled out
a green glow-in-the-dark crayon and drew a crooked scar on his chin like a
mokoooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Now Ron was ready to face the world as Harry and win back his true love.
The next thing that happened was Draco saw Ron disguised as Harry and fell deeply in love with him, even though his clothes were shabby and his hair was red and his scar was in the wrong place and his face was made of paper. As every good wizard knows, falling so much in love with someone creates an eternal bond that can only be broken by the Heir of Godric Gryffindor. Harry found out and defeated the fake Harry, breaking the bond and he and Draco lived happily ever after.
"Ahh my scar... its glowing!" Lil' Ron, the new rapper dude on the block who was the son
of Brain McKnight.
"Yes they ARE lesbian on Digimon..." A smelly computer guy blended into the
conversation.
Meanwhile, Ratio and Seamus were still in Japan, shopping for the latest Japanese Manga to bring back for the Gryffindor Boyz... o_O
Haley/Harry!
A.N: Will Pikachew (baka!) and Ash Ketchup discover the hidden meaning behind
Johnto Island League Shop Ship? We won't write anymore until we get 37167842374
reviews! Woo! Now you'll really have to review!