Authors: slytherinsRsexyer7283 and beater#4
Rating: PG-13
Summary: 5 years after arriving at Hogwarts, Draco and Harry receive some extraordinary news- Dumbledore uncovers some old school records and reveal to them that they're... cousins?!
Disclaimer: You've read this far and you still need a disclaimer?
Chapter Twenty Six: Harry/Draco Bonanza
I'm just wild about Harry
And Harry's wild about me
- Draco Malfoy, "Wild About Harry"
~
"I know what that is! Its an invisibility cloak!" Ron's eyes bugged out at the silvery watery cloak Harry was holding.
"Actually Ron, its my rain jacket. Shame." Harry shamed that poor little runt out totally!
"He's so wheat in the video.... for a white trash rapper, anyway." Hermione sighed over her 8 Mile poster. Eminem was the new Lockhart in Hermione's life!
Meanwhile, at night time in the Gryffindor Boys dorms, Harry ran in invisibly and pulled the covers off Ron and discovered he slept naked.
"Ron! Ron......................" Harry stared for what seemed like an crystal eternity. "Its me.... my..... oh my god Ron....... me parents! Ron, you've got to see.......... that! I mean, this! Ron its my parents- you've got to see this......................" Harry then mumbled something as Ron woke up and Harry concealed him underneath his invisibility cloak and - still naked- made their way to the room where the Mirror was being kept.
"Tena koutou katoa!" Quinton startled them.
Suddenly at the Great Hall, Seamus's vibrating heart bed came vibrating in.
"Harry, do you think this mirror shows the future?" Ron said, hoping that one day he would be as rich as a Potter.
"How can it? You'll never be rich, handsome, Head Boy and the Quidditch Captain." Harry laughed at Ron who would never amount to anything and probably join Voldie.
Harry walked into the Girl's Bathroom on the third floor and was startled to see Draco was in there... wearing a dress!
"Draco! I didn't know you were into that sort of thing..." Harry blushed.
"There's a lot of things you don't know about me Potter." Draco twirled around.
"Is that a challenge?" Harry gripped his wand tightly.
"Is that so?" Neville curtsied.
The referee came in, ready to start the battle.
"Is that Hagrid... or Hogwarts?" Adrian Pucey squinted at the huge shape that loomed above the Quidditch Pitch.
"Meda Fight! Meda Go! Medabots...." The Referee sailed away in the distance in his boat.
Draco did the first spell. "Punchus Facio!" A silver jet of light streamed out of Draco's wand- no, not that wand- and hit Harry in the face and he fell over.
"Come on Harry! You can do it! Beat that bastard Pure-blood Malfoy!" Lucius encouraged encouragingly.
Harry recovered quickly and raised his wand, "Kickus Shincio Shindo-kuuun!" A gold jet of light streamed out of Harry's wAnd- not that wAnd- and hit Draco in the shin, who started cry.
"Dishwash Zegerus!"
"Poorus Ronus!"
"Alohomora!"
"Apparattio Arabio!"
"Shirtus Removus!"
"Whakarongo mai tangariki kowhai!"
"Canadius Jake Moffattus!"
"Lumos!"
"Stripus Teasus!"
"Dracous Malfoyus!"
Draco was about to cast a scratching charm, but stopped. "You called me Draco, not Malfoy..." the two wizards looked deep into each others eyes for about 53 minutes.
"I think I'm in love with you...." Harry realized.
"Me too... I've never thought about anyone like this before. My fathers a Deatheater you know. My heart is made of ice and I think you've just melted it....."
'I can't believe it, I've fallen for a Malfoy' Harry thought to himself.
'I can't believe it, I've fallen for the boy who lived' Draco thought to himself at the exact same time, which caused a special bond charm which meant they would be together for eternity.
"Its all in the book!" Terry showed them a strange book with drawings of Harry and Draco.
"We're engineered!" Tom Malfoy was right, they WERE engineered.
"Tess was right all along!" Dan Potter mind-warped.
"You're so rad, Dan!" Tommie complemented his secret lover, because everyone knows that Tommie and Danny aren't really enemies- they love each other really!
Meanwhile in Potions, Snape was being greasy as usual.
"Oh no, we have Potions with Slytherin!" Hannah Abbott loaded her gun.
There were no Sorting Hat quotes left to use.
"There will be no foolish wAnd wavinginthisclass. For those select few," Snape turned his head sharply towards Draco who nearly died of fright- Snape was looking right at him! "Who possess the predisposition..." Snape trailed off and ran off with Rita Skeeter.
Harry scowled as he had gotten paired with.... SUPRISE - Draco. Today the class was making a truth serum and they had to test it on their partners and ask them 3 questions each. Draco hoped that Harry wouldn't ask him who his secret crush was.
"Here, cut these, Potter." Draco threw some truth branches at Pansy.
"You can be a real stupid git sometimes MALFOY." Harry put a special emphasis on Draco's last name. It was forbidden to touch Royalty.
"You'll see me next year in the Chamber of Secrets" Goyle looked at the crowd and whirled a clicker.
"I hate you and your stupid scar POTTER!" Draco secretly thought Harry's scar was wheat.
"Shut it Malfoy. At least my parents are dead and not Deatheaters!" Harry smirked and skulled his tequila.
"What? My parents aren't Deatheaters...." Draco looked confused.
"We'll catch up on ICQ..." The Share Clan computerized.
"But your Dad was at the Voldie meeting when they chained me to the Riddle grave 3 years ago after the Triwizard Tournament! Didn't you know?" Harry laughed and pushed Draco into the mud. Draco looked as if he was about to cry.
"But... no.... my father wouldn't lie to me.... he- he..." Draco burst into tears. Thanks Harry.
"I wish I could be friends with someone that cool!" Ron looked on from afar and sighed.
Millicent accidentally spilled a vial of No Lie Hair from the Truth Dog into Harry and Draco's cauldRON, making the potion extra truthy!
Meanwhile, Seamus watched Gundam Wing with his Deathscythe toy.
"Hey keeds! Letsssbutonashow!"
"Omigosh Duo just killed Relena!" The whole school cheered and threw up their hats- except for the Slytherin table. Draco looked as if he were about to cry.
The Sorting Hat sung its song, and sorted the new first years into the various houses. Gryffindor got the worst turnout, only getting 8 new students. Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw got one new student each and Slytherin was the winner of the day with a whopping 79 new students!
"Looks like we'll have to sleep on the floor!" William Creevy said to his brother Adam Creevy- the new twins on the block.
"Is this yours?" Draco picked up Goyle's plate and pocketed it for later, concealing it within his robes.
Meanwhile at Dawson's Creek....
"Thanks to the Camdens for taking me in and loving me like I was one of their own.... my mother was a prostitute and a drug addict and my father ran away to join the Deatheaters. So, thanks a lot Salazar for giving me a good home and great family." Roger Davies, a handsome 6th year Ravenclaw, prayed.
"Me and Draco, well... we're a couple..." Harry nervously introduced his boyfriend.
"A couple?!" Hagrid's beard twitched, enraged.
Harry was growing up and he had just began to notice girls.
"What? What's going on here?!" Fred and George were having sex while Ron watched from the doorway with his shifty eyes.
"Ron! Ron................ come and join usssssss... join us....." One of the twins invited.
"You have to invite me in!" Ron said, hovering by the door. That's right, Ron was a vampire and he had to be invited in.
Hagrid's beetle eyes crawled out of his sockets.
"Everyone should have finished brewing their truth serums by now. Everyone- drink up! No Harry, not Smirnoff- the Truth Serum. That's right, gulp it down....." Snape snarled.
"Ok I guess I'll go first..." Harry gulped down the bitter tasting Truth Potion Mix.
'Yesss... I can ask Harry 3 things and he has to answer truthfully.... now what should I ask him?' Draco pulled out the list of questions to ask Harry that he had written on stolen paper.
"Question one! Have you ever.............. stolen... anything?" Draco pocketed a quill from the desk behind him.
"Well.... I've stolen Ron's heart- ever since I first met him on the train 5 years ago...."
~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~
"Is it.... dead?" Hermione nudged the troll which was lying on the ground.
"Just knocked out." Harry, an expert on Trolls and brain damage, explained.
~~~END FLASHBACK~~~
"Okay. Question 2. Have you ever gotten to 3rd base?" Draco blushed- well, the tips of his ears went slightly pink.
"Well this one time with Ron..." Harry began.
"Oh thank heaven for 9-11!" Hannah Hufflepuff bought some Dr Pepper from Star Mart.
"And lastly, Question 3. Will you go to the Yule Ball with me?" Draco looked down at Harry (because Harry was malnourished he hadn't grown at all) with his biiig blue eyes. How could Harry resist?!
"Actually... I'm going with Ginny.... haha fooled ya! Of course I will my sweet Dragonling- you and me are meant to be! Now and forever!" Harry's truth spell wore off because the 3 questions had been answered. Now it was Draco's turn!
Draco had already stolen Millicent's AND Georges serum and had drunk them quickly.
"So Draco... what did you eat for breakfast?" Harry mouthed.
"Soggy bacon and snake blood with green Slytherin toast." Draco hand-signaled.
"Um... what did you get for Christmas last year?" Harry pashed- I mean, snogged.
"A Dark Mark from Voldie, some Evil spells from Father, a quilt from Mother and some pocket lint from Neville." Draco lisped.
"Who's your secret crush?" Harry asked the question that should not be asked!
"No, not that! Ask me anything but that!" But Draco had to answer because of that Extra truth hair that had been secretly put in from the No Lie dog...... "Its... you, Harry. It always has been, it always will be. You're my past, my present and hopefully my future. Will you marry me?" Draco proposed a proposal.
"Someone from Hufflepuff better defeat Voldemort this year so we can win the house cup! That would put us in the lead for sure!" Michael Corner wanted his team to win, and badly.
Hannah Abott defeated Voldemort and Gryffindor won because they got 100000 points just for having Harry in their house! Woo!
At the end of the day, Draco walked up to his room and tipped up his robes and everything spilled out onto his bed. "Not bad. Not bad at all. Me father would be proud." Watching from a globe ball, his Father WAS proud.
A.N: That's right, the authors of PTB have finally seen the Chamber of Secrets so expect a whole lot of new crap we mock from the movie! Wahoo! Lucius is damn fine......