Authors: slytherinsRsexyer7283 and beater#4
Rating: PG-13
Summary: 5 years after arriving at Hogwarts, Fred and Harry are going steady. What they don't know, is that Draco is jealous and he'll do anything to break them apart.
Disclaimer: You've read this far and you still need a disclaimer?
Chapter Twenty Seven: The Last Chapter from Book 7
Lifestyles of the rich and the famous
They're always complaining
Always complaining
- Ron Weasley, "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous"
~
Harry asked Chow to the ball. She said no, because Harry hadn't asked her properly
because his experience with girls was very little because Dudley beat up all his friends.
Meanwhile Harry was in his bedroom drawing death pictures of Vernon.
No more Harry.
Harry no more.
More Harry no.
"He doesn't even insult Ron anymore. I think he's sick" Prongs whispered to Pads as Justin
Finch-Fletcherly walked past.
"OH Pads! Let us never be apart ever again!" Wormtail wormed his way into Ron's pocket.
"Has anyone seen my priest suit?" Duo came in naked because someone had stolen his
priest suit.
Draco looked around nervously.
"Oh I hadn't noticed... heh" Draco said while patting a priest suit shape under his robes.
Later that evening...
"I'm going to gain custody of Harry." Sirrie and Remmie, with the help of Vernie were going
to gain custody of Harry.
"Did you see last nights lottery numbers?" Ron asked Hermione as they walked to the
Gryffindor Common room hand in hand.
"Aw!" Zeamus peeked underneath Hagrid's secret bucket.
"Haha Chow, Cedric's dead! Or should I say.... DEADric!" An evil Slytherin did what
Slytherin's did best. Chow looked like she was about to chunder!
"Looks like he's going to chunder!" Hagrid watched Harry on his broomstick from afar.
"Oh gods! Gods oh gods oh gods! Gods! Oh oh OH gods! Gods oh! Oh oh OH OH GODS
GODS! Oh gods! Gods oh gods oh gods! Gods! Oh oh OH gods! Gods oh! Oh oh OH OH
GODS GODS! Oh gods! Gods oh gods oh gods! Gods! Oh oh OH gods! Gods oh! Oh oh OH
OH GODS GODS! Oh gods! Gods oh gods oh gods! Gods! Oh oh OH gods! Gods oh! Oh oh
OH OH GODS GODS!" Nagini almost had a fit. An 'oh gods' fit that is!
Meanwhile in the Weasley Ghetto, Harry was having a little fun of his own.
Ron kissed Harry's neck. "I'll be upstairs."
"Call me a mudblood Tommie!" A crabbe TF.com MBer screamed in poor Tommie's face.
"What do you want, Hagrid, you hairy piece of shit?" Harry greeted the Gamekeeper.
"Voldemort always rapes me!" Draco often gets raped by his fathers Dark Lord Master
because that's what Deatheaters have to do.
"Don't forget to vote in the Couple of the Year Awards which will be held in Dungeon 6
tonite!" Minerva used her magical megaphone to project the message all over the school.
This sent all the couples nominated into a huge panic....
"Vote for R/Hr! Vote for R/Hr!" Hermione was passing out cupcakes that had been baked the night before by Winky the house elf. "Ron! Stop eating all the icing!" Hermione smiled at her long time boyfriend.
"Mudbloods and muggle lovers suck! Vote for H/D!" Draco passed out dodgy photos of him
and Harry that Colin Creevster had secretly snapped.
"I defeated Voldemort 6 times! Vote for H/D and I might defeat him again!" Harry was
making Mochaccinos for everyone.
"Gather round fellas! Seamus has a show for yall..... The Seamus Show! Contains strong
language, nudity and fantasy scenes.... come one come all! Vote for Seamus/Everyone!"
Seamus was wearing some sort of carnival getup as he beckoned the punters into his
show with a whip.
"Is this yours?" Dray picked up Hedwig as he asked Harry.
"I've never seen that bird in me life!" Harry guffawed as Draco slipped the bird cage into
his robes.
"Neville, stop playing around! The award ceremony is about to begin!" Goyle ate
Longbottom.
"And now is the moment we've all been waiting for!" Armando Dippet hushed the local
Wizarding boy band, Enmasse, as he strutted his stuff in a red sequined dress. "The winner
of the couple of the year award.......................................... will be presented by your
favorite Half-Giant and mine, Warwick Davis! Star of Star Wars and Willow."
"Owoaror! See here! Miss Grangers done it! And the nominees are...... Ron/Hermione,
Harry/Draco, Seamus/Everyone, George/Dumbledore and Grindleward/Dean T." Everyone
applauded very loudly at the mention of the last couple. They were sure to win!
"Oh Marge is ill..." Olsen Twin #1 sung.
"Drum roll please........ HARRY AND DRACO!!!" Flitwick fell off his stool.
Hermione's eyes filled with tears and Ron put his arm around her. "Don't worry 'Mione.
There's always next year."
"Owoaror! While you're up here Mr Potter, you can take the award for Class Hero, Class Clown, Best African-American, Most loved Red head, Class Protector, Class Wizard..." Flitwick piled the various shaped trophies into Harry's arms. Draco just watched and laughed. "...Best Voldemort Supporter, Class Hunk, Teacherz Pet, Junior Clubman of the Year Award...." Alun shook his fists angrily, "...Quidditch Player of the Year, Playa of the Year..." Seamus shook his fists angrily, "And finally The Largest Red-headed Family Award! Come on, give it up for Harry! Our Hero Hiro heeeeero..." Flitwick finished speaking just as Harry fell off the stage and landed in amongst his winnings. Draco fished him out and they went backstage as everyone cheered and threw up their hats except for the Slytherin table.
Ron clenched his fists under the table. "That's it- I'm joining Voldemort."
The trophy must have been a port key because Harry suddenly found himself chained to
Riddle's grave- Voldemort was there and he was doing a roll call of all the Deatheaters
present. "Black. Lupin. Weasley. Potter. Dursley. Chang. Malfoy. Weasley. Crabbe. Nott.
Finch-Fletcherly. Diggle. Diggory. Granger. Weasley. Potter. Dumbledore. Hagrid. Weasley.
Potter. Phelps. Diesel. Filch. Boot. Pomfrey. Flitwick. Binns. Weasley. Dippet. McGonagall.
Gryffindor. Grindleward. Has anyone seen Weasley?"
"Sorry I'm late Voldemort Master Sir...." The one named 'Weasley' pulled off his hood.
"Ron?!" Harry gasped.
"That's right. I was jealous of your fame and money so I decided to become a Deatheater." Ron Hanniballed. Harry tried free himself but the chains were tied tightly and he was getting an allergic reaction on his chest from the steel.
"But Ron you're my sweet weasling!" Harry got sucked into the diary and it was too late to
save Aragog.
The Gryffindor clan made it to the Great Hall just in time for mail time!
"Oh look! The new Columbus-Weasley Family Newsletter is out! There's an article in here
about Percy joining the dark side!" A random Sweet Valley High student cried.
"Wow a free CD-ROM! With exclusive XxX Twincest and Susan Bones boning a bone to
bone!" The boy who saved the boy who lived said.
"Hey guys, look at this! Its the new Nimbus 2000!" Terry Boot booted.
"Wow there's some new pictures of the Weasley Mansion!" Padma or Parvati petaled.
"It says here that Arthur recently made a surprise purchase for his son..." Adrian Pucey
read aloud to the class, "He bought his sons favorite Quidditch Team- The Chudley
Cannons and presented them to him on his birthday! 'I just wanted to do something nice
for George. They've been his favorite team ever since he was a youngin. His entire room
is decorated in the team colors.' George couldn't be happier and says he loves his family
very much, especially his twin."
Ron was foaming at the mouth. "THE CHUDLEY CANONS ARE MY FAVOURITE TEAM!"
"Calm yersel'!" Hagrid came in just in time to carry Ron away, tucking him safely under his
arm.
Harry followed Draco down to the Malfoy Manor Wine Cellar.
"I bet my wand is bigger than yours." Harry gambled, taking a swig of vodka.
"I bet its not. Mines well over 10 inches." Draco pocketed some wine for later.
"You're exaggerating. I've seen it and it doesn't even look like 7." Harry bluffed.
"Lets see then." Draco dared Harry to show him his wand.
"Go Sirrie! Go Sirrie! Go go go go!" The Gryffindor Cheerleaders cheered.
"Ha! Yours is only 8 inches." Draco scoffed at Harry's tiny wand.
"Yerrrrr I bet you can't guess how BIG my wAnd is?" Hagrid shuffled over.
"An Animagi," Sirrie paused dramatically, "By the name of Peter Pettigrew."
Harry looked from Lucius to Draco. They were both so wheat he didn't know who to
choose! 'Which Malfoy should I choose?' Potter thought to himself as Lucius abused his son
with his snake stick. Harry was glad that Narcissa wasn't there because that would make
things even more complicated.
Did Sirius mean what he thought he meant?
"...and this is the new single from Lil' Dean called 'Hogwatzz'. You're listening to KTLA's top
47." The radio announcer announced over the speaker system.
"I never hated you Harry. I always wanted to be your friend. I was just jealous..." A new
exchange student at Hog High mumbled.
"Your scar is legend...." Hermione vanished through a plot hole.
Harry set off towards the station exit, Hedwig rattling along in front of him for what looked like a much better summer than the last. Aw.
A.N: Wow wasn't Lil' Deans new single the shizznit? And how about that Final Chamber scene? Will Sirius ever be able to change back from his Padfoot self after Snape put a spell on him? When will Gravitation 13 finish downloading? Why is Harry such a weiner? And how did Ron suddenly get wheat in CoS? Wow! Don't forget to review kiddies........... o_O