Title: Pump The Breaks
Authors: slytherinsRsexyer7283 and beater#4
Rating: PG-13
Summary: 5 years after arriving at Hogwarts, After realizing they have mutant powers, Harry changes his name to Cyclops, Neville changes to Wolverine and Draco to Nightcrawler. How will they live in a world where the don't belong?!
Disclaimer: You've read this far and you still need a disclaimer?


Chapter Thirty: Haunted Leg

(Part of the Pump the Breaks Unplugged series)

And the world keeps spinning round
My world's upside down and I wouldn't change a thing
I've got nothing else to lose
I lost it all when I found you and I wouldn't change thing
No, you and I wouldn't change a thing
- Lifehouse, "Spin"

~

"We don't watch Angel in THIS house!" Unkle Vernon spat while he snarled.
Draco was too busy braiding his hair to notice that Blaco was fooling Harry at this very moment.
Lets go to that moment...

"Come on Harry, just put on the Chewbacca sash. It turns me on, really." Blaco had pulled out his whip and shackles (thanks to Seamus).
"Draco, this isn't like you. What's gotten into you? Where's the Draco and know and love and smuggle with under the moonlight at night. Show me that Draco! Show me him now!" Harry clenched his fists angrily, which was quite hard because the Gem of Amara *LOOK UP* was tied around his wrists.
"No escaping me now Harry!" Blaco's eyes flashed a Slytherin green.
"Take my virginity Hagrid! Take it now!" Harry screamed passionately.
"No one calls ME Bill" Billy Idol, or Spike from the 1970s idolized.
Blaco thought his movie would be an Oscar winner for sure.
"Keep your hands to yourself" Alex Band hoe downed while Seamus ran his pudgy sandy-haired finger through his teeth.
"Welcome to my country." Dan pretended to understand the Chuliloonkurn boy who was praising Allah.
"Hogger!" Dan tried to rip the Playstation console from Tom's sweaty grasp.
Stephen Spielberg was about to direct Seamus to come in and crack his green magical Irish whip when a certain muggle lovah popped his head out from under the bed, "Oh Blaco sonny!" Lewis interrupted that special moment.
"Leeeeeeeeeeeewis..." Blaco whined.
"No no Blaco, what have I told you? Call me by my real name." Lewis tsk-tsked.
"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaad..." The tips of Blaco's ears went a slight tinge of pink.
Harry took a swig of his bullshot and slipped out for the rest of the day to an unknown land.
"If it wasn't for this darn scar." Harry punched the air lightly sideways in a cradle-rocking motion once while he said the word 'scar'.
"That's not true Harry, you know its not." Draco sorrow personified (A.N: that goes out to SP!)
"Yes it is Draco. All me life people just see the scar, they never see the real me. They never see Harry the Boy who Lived." Harry sniffled.
"I know you're not Harry, I know you're not just a scar. You're more than that to me!" Draco touched his scar lightly.
"But you're the only one who does Draco..."
"Isn't that enough?" Harry shivered at Draco's cold Slytherin touch.
"Its never enough for you Harry. Never!" Draco screamed as Voldemort flew through him.
"LOTR rox Gandalf's socks!" Dumbledore floated around Hogwarts wheezing.
"WOAH! Tongue in my ear!" Ted Casablanca screamed Orlando as LOTR newcomer nuzzled in my ear.
Tom Riddle decided to take off his clothes.
"Tom Riddle! What are you doing? Give me back my wand!" Collin Creevy snapped away.
Ron collected Snape's grease from his hair and put it into bottles for later. "I've got about 500 mesel'!" Ron bragged to no one in particular.
"Hey, biga-news!" Dumble choked on his own beard hair. "Haley Joel Osment got stabbed in one of the Hogwarts bathrooms by a gang of Italian bullies while trying to save the 'Real Kids, Real Adventures' boy." Everyone clapped and cheered and threw up their hats and Lee Jordan didn't jump up and down like a vibrating cellphone because that wasn't in the CoS movie. Ron adopted a little boy from Ethiopia for just a dollar a day.
"But Ron, how are you to pay for this? You haven't any money!"
Ron mumbled something about ACC payments.

"Dumbledore must know you're here Harry, doesn't miss a trick, that man." Hermione stole Arthur Weasley's line.
"Fear us for we are the Feared Foursome!" Quinton whakarongomaied.
"Let you in, can't let you in."
"Or have a foursome with us..." Seamus winked, undressing Alex Band with his Irish eyes. Alex whimpered and tried to cover himself with his hands but then gave up and ran away.

Fred went to touch George's hand but he found himself touching the table through his twins hand. "G-George?"
"I might as well tell you Fred. I'm an Illusion." Fred gasped. "I was created one stormy eve a few days after you were born. Without me, you would have died."
"A-an illusion?"
"Yes Fred, that's right. I'm not real. And now that you know my illusion box can get turned off and you'll me free to live your life in truth, not lies. It was nice fooling you!" And with that George faded away leaving Fred broken, crying and alone at the kitchen table.

Draco quickly stuffed a giant Pikachu toy underneath his robes and walked away whistling to himself.
"Why don't you come with me little girl, on a magic carpet ride?" Bart... emus wrinkled.
"Don't you understand? Lifehouse is for life! O_o" Duncan mind-warped.
"COs we've been here before!" Eli-eli gollumed as he swallowed.

The class made their way over and under and through and around to Ancient Runes which they had with Slytherin.
"Lets match the power of Tom Marvolo Riddle a.k.a Lord Voldemort, heir of Salazar Slytherin against the famous Harry James Potter, the boy who lived, heir of Godric Gryffindor, son of Lily and James Potter, friend of Ronald Weasley, godson of Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, arch nemesis and secret lover of Draco Malfoy." Very wise words from a very wise man...
"You liar! You lied to me!" Ru-ru spoke harshly to Volde.
"I am getting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off." Ron stripped off his dirty rags in a fever-crazed frenzy.
"Settle down class!" Finn, the Ancient Runes teacher settled. "Okay. Everyone listen. What can you hear?"
"The dirt?" Everyone looked at Ron.
"No." Finn finned finely.
"The wind?" Linka, with the power of wind.
"No." Finney-fin-finned.
"History." Seamus lazed a lazy daze.
"Right you are Mr Finnegan, right you are! The history of Hogwarts blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah..."
The entire class fell asleep for several centuries until a prince came along and woke the kingdom from its eternal slumber.
"Its Potter-bashing time!" Goyle, Crabbe and Malfoy smacked their fists into their hands. But before they could punch his lights out, green Avada Kedavra lazers shot out of Harry's forehead and destroyed his enemies in one bright zap.

"Black white Porte Rican Chinese boys." George rapped in the battle between him and Eminem
"Eminem?!" Tom Felton burst on suddenly, his eyes wide and twitching. "Did someone say my fave white-trash rappers name?" Dan put his arm around Tommie and carefully led him away from sharp objects. Tommie might harm himself or others while in his Eminem craze.

It had been a long long day for Alex Bandinski. He had been booed off stage 3 times! The third time they had even thrown Dr Pepper cans and cheese slices! Then there was that incident with his girlfriend - now ex-girlfriend - going out with Dunny Lifehouse. The final straw was when he lost all his clothes at the airport, even the ones he was wearing! And now, he wanted nothing more than a long soak in his flash hotel-room bath. He flipped the bathroom switch and gasped.
Then screamed.
On the mirror were the words, 'JOIN US O_o' written in lipstick. The horrors didn't stop there. AB looked down and saw that all the bathroom tiles had been replaced with Lifehouse CD covers. Over his screams, the song 'Sick Cycle Carousel' could be heard. He looked in the mirror and saw Duncan Lifehouse behind him! But when Al turn back around, there was no one there!
Alex was losing his mind! He would never give into those evil satan worshippers a.k.a Lifehouse. Suddenly Aaron Kamin appeared next to him. "Its okay Al," he comforted his friend.
"Help me Aaron! I think I'm going crazy! Lifehouse they-" Alex cried.
"Shh. I know." Aaron shushed.
"You believe me?!" Poor Alex was a wibbling pile of mush.
"Yes. And Lifehouse believe in you." Aaron sounded like a robot.
"What? No!" Alex thought Lifehouse must have brainwashed him.
"Yes Alex. We want you to join us so we can become the ultimate band and rule for all eternity." Kamin zoned out.
"Aaron! I thought you were my friend!" Alex cried again.
"Friendship is forever, but Lifehouse is for life." Kamin disappeared amongst the tiles and Alex was all alone with his thoughts - still naked.

Some of the guys were going to get together later on tonight and play 'Who stole the Cookie from the Cookie Jar?' Others were going on to read 'Last of the Mohicans'. They all met up at Flich's hovel at precisely 12:25.
"Okay Ernie, you start." The group chanted that Ernie stole the cookies while Draco stole a cookie from the cookie jar and smuggled over to his boyfriend, Harry.
"What are you wearing Harry?" Neville sniped.
"Well Nelly, tonight I'm wearing black fishnet sleeves, an Op:IVY tee shirt from Hot Topic, black leather pants (not shiny), a sliver studded belt, silver splashed Doc Martins, black eyeliner and black nail polish." He had thrown away his glasses as well and hadn't even gotten contacts so he was as blind as a bat, but still looked really hot. He also had Cyanide piercings, which was a labret, eyebrows and ears as well as a tattoo of a DNA strand and a small scar on his forehead.
"Well Draco, what are you wearing?" Neville pulled on his white leather pants.
"Well tonight Mathew I'm going to be - wearing... nothing. Nothing at all. Except for a cigarette and my coy smile."

Previously in Hagrid's Hut, George and Quinton were educating Hagrid on some moves of their own.
"No, you don't out it in here Hagrid, and you move it THIS way. That's it, you've got it!" Fred demonstrated for him.
Sirrie, who looked a lot like Jude Law, and Remmie, who looked remarkably like Ewan McGregor, were both deciding whether or not to wear clothes today.
"Sirrie, really there's no point in wearing clothes today."
"But Harry's coming over."
"Look, there's nothing Harry hasn't seen before."
"But what will James think?"
But it was too late...
"UNKLES!" Harry said, wide-eyed and astonished.
"Look Harry, we're not your fucking Uncles." Remmie ruined the wheat moment.
"I'm your Godfather and Remmie's your fucking Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher!" Sirrie barked.
Blaco was about to cast the Avada Kedavra spell on them all when a certain long-haired muggle-loving, safari-jandal wearing person came in. "Oh Blaco sonny!"


A.N: Where will the Weasley's live now since their house boat got taken over by flesh eating human cicadas, And since Howie got kicked out of the Backstreets will Lifehouse take them in? Or is he too smoothe for them? And how is Lil Dean coping with the rivalry of Lil Theo? Find in out in the next installment of Pump. The. Breaks... Review! Review! Review!