Authors Notes: Sorry this chapter has been a long time coming. I've been busy with Turkey Day and Finals. Wish me luck, have the big math final coming up :)
Chapter 4
Archer stood, staring at her with wide eyes. Silence pervaded the room, and T'Pol dropped her eyes to her lap once more. It was a good 5 minutes until he spoke.
"You had your reasons, and still do? I don't understand. What does that mean?" He walked over to her, sitting down beside her on the couch. She raised her eyes to his.
"Perhaps this is a discussion we should continue later." She moved to stand, but he placed his hand on her arm, pulling her back.
"I won't remember later. I think we should discuss it now," he furrowed his brow.
She looked down at his hand on her arm. Placing her hand on his, she removed her arm from his grasp. Mentally taking a deep breath, she once again looked at his eyes. They shone of curiosity, but also a deeper need for understanding.
An inner battle waged within her. Was it logical to tell this man her true feelings; that her life would be incomplete without his presence, that he was necessary to her? Would he ever believe her? He would only forget in a few hours. Was it worth it to spill her soul, leaving it open for him, when he wouldn't recall it later? Would he ever reciprocate her feelings?
As she stared into his eyes, she found the answers she sought. It was pointless to wonder about his feelings for her. She had felt it when he touched her and she saw it now in his eyes. Perhaps it was better to at least have a few hours with him.
"T'Pol," he asked, clearing her head of thoughts. There was a vulnerability to his voice that was her undoing.
"Over the course of my time on Enterprise, you and I developed a friendship. When you and I were in the corridor, I asked you to leave me there, you didn't. If you had, more than likely, I would be afflicted with this disease, not you," she paused.
He frowned. "So you stayed because you feel guilty?"
"No, Jonathan. I stayed with you because you stayed with me that day."
He froze. "What do you mean?"
"You are necessary to my life, just as I was necessary to you and Enterprise back in that corridor, I stayed because I couldn't leave, I wouldn't leave. I stay now, because," She stopped. She had already said so much.
"Because?" His voice cracked slightly.
Looking him straight in the eye, she finished, "because I need you."
His face fell, and suddenly she was very aware of what this must be like to him. She had said entirely too much, placing him in an awkward position now. He would never be able to return her feelings. Feeling she had to put him at ease, she continued.
"I understand that you are unable to return what I've divulged, you won't remember."
He raised his head and she was disconcerted with what she saw. Tears ran freely down his cheeks, and a small sad smile graced his lips.
"I need to know one thing. Have we ever discussed this before?"
She shook her head no.
He took a deep breath, standing up and beginning to pace in front of her. She could sense the range of emotions flowing through him, as he tried to sort through what she had told him: confusion, anger, satisfaction, sadness, happiness. It was truly remarkable to her, even now, the wealth of emotional ramifications a human endured at one time. So many conflicting feelings, and yet they were able to work through them. Resilient creatures.
Sitting back against the couch, she waited for him to conclude his pacing.
Finally he turned back to her, running his hands through his graying hair. He brought his hands down to his neck and massaged there.
"When you first were assigning to Enterprise, I didn't like it. Actually, I despised it. There was no way I wanted a Vulcan on my ship. When you walked into my ready room, you were almost condescending, and I knew that in just a few days, you'd be gone, and I wouldn't have to put up with you." He closed his eyes at the memory.
She raised an eyebrow at his recollection.
Taking a deep breath, he continued, "However, after our first mission, I knew that you would be an asset to the ship, and I found myself not wanting you to leave. It was a complete shock to me, and I resolved myself not to dwell on it, just resigning myself to the reasoning that you were a valued member of the crew, nothing more. But, when that ship of Vulcan's encountered us, and you started spending time with them, I found myself getting slightly jealous, and I suddenly realized how important you had become to me." He moved to sit down beside her once more. Taking her hands in his own, he swallowed. "It wasn't until you asked me to accompany you to the planet to retrieve Menos that I realized the depth of my feelings. I realized that, I'd do anything for you, go anywhere with you. When you said you needed to be with someone you could trust, that's when it hit me. I need you as well, T'Pol. I always have, and always will."
She blinked and raised her chin. This was certainly more than she was expecting, certainly more than she had hoped. And yes, she had hoped, even though it was irrational to hope for an outcome. It wasn't until she noticed the odd look on his face that she realized she hadn't said anything.
"Then I believe we feel the same way."
He smiled and dropped his head, his forehead touching hers. It was a gesture she was unprepared for. Her eyes shut as did his.
Time seemed to slow, moments passing by but neither cared. He raised his head and dropped a tender kiss above her brow, urging her to open her eyes.
He smiled a radiant smile. "We feel the same way. What should we do about it?"
She was confused for a moment. What was there to do about it? It was a most cumbersome situation they were placed in. There really wasn't anything to do about anything. Life would go on, he would forget, she would remember. It was as simple as that.
Or was it?
TBC
Chapter 4
Archer stood, staring at her with wide eyes. Silence pervaded the room, and T'Pol dropped her eyes to her lap once more. It was a good 5 minutes until he spoke.
"You had your reasons, and still do? I don't understand. What does that mean?" He walked over to her, sitting down beside her on the couch. She raised her eyes to his.
"Perhaps this is a discussion we should continue later." She moved to stand, but he placed his hand on her arm, pulling her back.
"I won't remember later. I think we should discuss it now," he furrowed his brow.
She looked down at his hand on her arm. Placing her hand on his, she removed her arm from his grasp. Mentally taking a deep breath, she once again looked at his eyes. They shone of curiosity, but also a deeper need for understanding.
An inner battle waged within her. Was it logical to tell this man her true feelings; that her life would be incomplete without his presence, that he was necessary to her? Would he ever believe her? He would only forget in a few hours. Was it worth it to spill her soul, leaving it open for him, when he wouldn't recall it later? Would he ever reciprocate her feelings?
As she stared into his eyes, she found the answers she sought. It was pointless to wonder about his feelings for her. She had felt it when he touched her and she saw it now in his eyes. Perhaps it was better to at least have a few hours with him.
"T'Pol," he asked, clearing her head of thoughts. There was a vulnerability to his voice that was her undoing.
"Over the course of my time on Enterprise, you and I developed a friendship. When you and I were in the corridor, I asked you to leave me there, you didn't. If you had, more than likely, I would be afflicted with this disease, not you," she paused.
He frowned. "So you stayed because you feel guilty?"
"No, Jonathan. I stayed with you because you stayed with me that day."
He froze. "What do you mean?"
"You are necessary to my life, just as I was necessary to you and Enterprise back in that corridor, I stayed because I couldn't leave, I wouldn't leave. I stay now, because," She stopped. She had already said so much.
"Because?" His voice cracked slightly.
Looking him straight in the eye, she finished, "because I need you."
His face fell, and suddenly she was very aware of what this must be like to him. She had said entirely too much, placing him in an awkward position now. He would never be able to return her feelings. Feeling she had to put him at ease, she continued.
"I understand that you are unable to return what I've divulged, you won't remember."
He raised his head and she was disconcerted with what she saw. Tears ran freely down his cheeks, and a small sad smile graced his lips.
"I need to know one thing. Have we ever discussed this before?"
She shook her head no.
He took a deep breath, standing up and beginning to pace in front of her. She could sense the range of emotions flowing through him, as he tried to sort through what she had told him: confusion, anger, satisfaction, sadness, happiness. It was truly remarkable to her, even now, the wealth of emotional ramifications a human endured at one time. So many conflicting feelings, and yet they were able to work through them. Resilient creatures.
Sitting back against the couch, she waited for him to conclude his pacing.
Finally he turned back to her, running his hands through his graying hair. He brought his hands down to his neck and massaged there.
"When you first were assigning to Enterprise, I didn't like it. Actually, I despised it. There was no way I wanted a Vulcan on my ship. When you walked into my ready room, you were almost condescending, and I knew that in just a few days, you'd be gone, and I wouldn't have to put up with you." He closed his eyes at the memory.
She raised an eyebrow at his recollection.
Taking a deep breath, he continued, "However, after our first mission, I knew that you would be an asset to the ship, and I found myself not wanting you to leave. It was a complete shock to me, and I resolved myself not to dwell on it, just resigning myself to the reasoning that you were a valued member of the crew, nothing more. But, when that ship of Vulcan's encountered us, and you started spending time with them, I found myself getting slightly jealous, and I suddenly realized how important you had become to me." He moved to sit down beside her once more. Taking her hands in his own, he swallowed. "It wasn't until you asked me to accompany you to the planet to retrieve Menos that I realized the depth of my feelings. I realized that, I'd do anything for you, go anywhere with you. When you said you needed to be with someone you could trust, that's when it hit me. I need you as well, T'Pol. I always have, and always will."
She blinked and raised her chin. This was certainly more than she was expecting, certainly more than she had hoped. And yes, she had hoped, even though it was irrational to hope for an outcome. It wasn't until she noticed the odd look on his face that she realized she hadn't said anything.
"Then I believe we feel the same way."
He smiled and dropped his head, his forehead touching hers. It was a gesture she was unprepared for. Her eyes shut as did his.
Time seemed to slow, moments passing by but neither cared. He raised his head and dropped a tender kiss above her brow, urging her to open her eyes.
He smiled a radiant smile. "We feel the same way. What should we do about it?"
She was confused for a moment. What was there to do about it? It was a most cumbersome situation they were placed in. There really wasn't anything to do about anything. Life would go on, he would forget, she would remember. It was as simple as that.
Or was it?
TBC