Jack and the Cheese man. Chapter 2: Attack of the clones
Disclaimer: Jack, Sam, Daniel, General Hammon, Teal'c, Thor and the SGC are not mine, however, the Jack clones (although are not my idea originally), all of the Cheese-arians and their home world are.....Oh, and the hairy, moldy cheese in my fridge.
A/N: Don't ask - just read.
**** Daniel's quarters SGC base ****
Daniel's pager went off, "can't anyone get any sleep around here!!!'' slowly he sat up and looked at his pager and read the message
**** Hammons office ****
"As you can see the Cheese-arians have lunched their attack and turned the moon to cheese" said Hammon
"Mmmmmm, Moon cheese" Jack said - He had been chained to one of those office chairs with wheels on them to prevent him from doing any more harm but still able him to move.
"And they are threatening to turn the earth to cheese as well" he (Hammon) continued
"That's terrible! We would go off because of the suns heat!" Sam gasped
"At least I could get some sleep" Daniel said a he hit the ground. Dead. (as in fast asleep)
"Indeed" Teal'c said as he joined Daniel on the floor (No this is not slash the just both fell asleep of the floor OK!)
"Yes that is right" Hammon said taking no notice of the two members asleep (and only asleep) on the floor "that's why I need you to contact Thor......I have a plan."
**** Gate room ****
Jack (still on the chair) "you have to be joking right? Why me?"
"well sir, you started it you may as well finish it" Sam explained seconds before they were 'beamed' up to Thors ship
**** Thors ship ****
"Thank you for assisting us Thor" Sam said (these people say a lot of things don't they)
"It is our pleasure Major Cater - But why would you want to do such a thing?"
"WHY ME???" Jack whined
"Desperate I suppose" Sam replied the shot Jack with a zat.
**** Some time later in where ever they keep the space ships i.e. the X302 etc ****
"Now go forth and conquer!" Hammon commanded
"yeah, right" a synchronised whine came from the many in the hanger.
**** On the Cheese Mothership ****
Military Cheese-man "Is it a pack of giant space ants?, its it our reinforcements? # Gasp # NO, Its, Its, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES. Its an army of juvenile O'Neills!!!!!"
Cheese-man soldier "Man the guns.FIRE"
**** The JO (juvenile O'neill) army (who are in space worthy vehicles) ****
" The ants go marching 10 by 10, something, something.......And they all go marching down to the ground to get..."
Sam over the radio communication system "# Crackle # Get out of the way!!!!"
" No Sam its to get out of the RAIN, not WAY" then all the JO's looked up "Oh".
They all break formation as they doge enemy fire, then, more synchronised speech "Mmmmmm, Cheese, CHARGE"
Most of the Jack make it to the mothership and penetrate its defences. Once inside it's a feeding frenzy. One Jack gets shot with a cheese gun which turns himm to cheese. The others turn and enclose on the cheese Jack..
**** Back at the SGC ****
Sam (winces) "Eww, cannibalism" glances at original Jack.
"What?"
**** Cheese mothership ****
Lots of fat O'neills sitting around. One Jack "BUUURRP"
**** SGC somewhere ****
Hammon "Congratulations" He hugs Sam and Jack (who is still chained to the chair) "But now we must wipe them from existence to ensure our survival"
"We're going to distroy their homeworld?" Sam questioned
"No, you are" Hammon corrected her.
TBC
Disclaimer: Jack, Sam, Daniel, General Hammon, Teal'c, Thor and the SGC are not mine, however, the Jack clones (although are not my idea originally), all of the Cheese-arians and their home world are.....Oh, and the hairy, moldy cheese in my fridge.
A/N: Don't ask - just read.
**** Daniel's quarters SGC base ****
Daniel's pager went off, "can't anyone get any sleep around here!!!'' slowly he sat up and looked at his pager and read the message
**** Hammons office ****
"As you can see the Cheese-arians have lunched their attack and turned the moon to cheese" said Hammon
"Mmmmmm, Moon cheese" Jack said - He had been chained to one of those office chairs with wheels on them to prevent him from doing any more harm but still able him to move.
"And they are threatening to turn the earth to cheese as well" he (Hammon) continued
"That's terrible! We would go off because of the suns heat!" Sam gasped
"At least I could get some sleep" Daniel said a he hit the ground. Dead. (as in fast asleep)
"Indeed" Teal'c said as he joined Daniel on the floor (No this is not slash the just both fell asleep of the floor OK!)
"Yes that is right" Hammon said taking no notice of the two members asleep (and only asleep) on the floor "that's why I need you to contact Thor......I have a plan."
**** Gate room ****
Jack (still on the chair) "you have to be joking right? Why me?"
"well sir, you started it you may as well finish it" Sam explained seconds before they were 'beamed' up to Thors ship
**** Thors ship ****
"Thank you for assisting us Thor" Sam said (these people say a lot of things don't they)
"It is our pleasure Major Cater - But why would you want to do such a thing?"
"WHY ME???" Jack whined
"Desperate I suppose" Sam replied the shot Jack with a zat.
**** Some time later in where ever they keep the space ships i.e. the X302 etc ****
"Now go forth and conquer!" Hammon commanded
"yeah, right" a synchronised whine came from the many in the hanger.
**** On the Cheese Mothership ****
Military Cheese-man "Is it a pack of giant space ants?, its it our reinforcements? # Gasp # NO, Its, Its, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES. Its an army of juvenile O'Neills!!!!!"
Cheese-man soldier "Man the guns.FIRE"
**** The JO (juvenile O'neill) army (who are in space worthy vehicles) ****
" The ants go marching 10 by 10, something, something.......And they all go marching down to the ground to get..."
Sam over the radio communication system "# Crackle # Get out of the way!!!!"
" No Sam its to get out of the RAIN, not WAY" then all the JO's looked up "Oh".
They all break formation as they doge enemy fire, then, more synchronised speech "Mmmmmm, Cheese, CHARGE"
Most of the Jack make it to the mothership and penetrate its defences. Once inside it's a feeding frenzy. One Jack gets shot with a cheese gun which turns himm to cheese. The others turn and enclose on the cheese Jack..
**** Back at the SGC ****
Sam (winces) "Eww, cannibalism" glances at original Jack.
"What?"
**** Cheese mothership ****
Lots of fat O'neills sitting around. One Jack "BUUURRP"
**** SGC somewhere ****
Hammon "Congratulations" He hugs Sam and Jack (who is still chained to the chair) "But now we must wipe them from existence to ensure our survival"
"We're going to distroy their homeworld?" Sam questioned
"No, you are" Hammon corrected her.
TBC