Authors: slytherinsRsexyer7283 and beater#4
Rating: PG-13
Summary: 6 years after arriving at Hogwarts, The gang are still on the search of Jere after his mysterious dissapperence through the pot hole after a clown lurred him down with some balloons! how sweet!
Disclaimer: You've read this far and you still need a disclaimer?
Chapter Thirty Four: Appetite for Dawson
(Part of the Pump the Breaks Unplugged series)
Is it you or is it me
Make my line out of destiny
I think a change is what i need
If your looking for a ...
Shortland Street..
- Quinton and the Hitas, "Shorty Street theme"
~
"Joel, there's something I've got to tell you," Benji paused nervously.
"Yes Benji?" Joel and Benji told each other everything.... o_O
"I-I-I-I'm a vampire." Benji punked out.
"A VAMPIRE?! But... but NO! Then we can't be twinz!" Joely-joel screamed.
"We can now... O_O," Benji snarled as he chomped on his bro.
Meanwhile, in an imaginary fictional world that existed only in books, the Gryffindors made their way up to the marae, to eat their 'Hangi' or 'food' (for all you Palangi/Pakeha).
"I have an announcement to make!" Dumbledore let off a few stink bombs from the end of his wand to call for silence, "Today marks a very important day in
history... the day Harry James Potter was born! Congrats on being alive for 19 years!" The entire school threw up their hats and cheered. A giant cake was
wheeled out by none other than Kevin Sorbo!
The Fat Friar began humming 'Happy Birthday' in the background, as Harry neared the cake. He thought he spotted a long black hair between the layers, but
got distracted by ahhhhh Draco... my love... my secret... my shame.
"It's good to be young... and take your vitamins." Alex advised the local youths.
"I need to go hug Collin." Fox wandered off, bored already.
"Make a wish Harry!" Harry said to himself, pausing to take a breath.
"*sneeze* *flem* *wheeze*" Ron sprayed mucus all over Harry's birthday cake, blowing out the candlez.
"Godamnit Ron, I was just about to wish you dead!" said the son of James Potter.
"Haha good one Harry..." Ron laughed nervously.
Suddenly, the top of the cake flew off and a half-naked half-giant jumped out and started gyrating his hips. The local wizard band, Busted kicked off the nite
with their hit single, 'Year 3000'.
"...and your great great great grand-daughter is pretty fyne!" Seamus whipped Hagrid with his Mr Whippy stick.
"Pretty fiiiine..." Mattie Jay winked at the Irish leprechaun.
"Happy Birthday Harrie!" Ron gave his friend a poorly wrapped and very small present.
"Umm... cool..." Harry ripped it open. And saw that it was his old Herbology notes from last semester, "What the... I threw these out months ago!" Ron
shriveled up and flew away.
"Look Harry, there's something from the Dursley's!" Dean T tilted his head and pointed to a strange looking lumpy package, "It looks like you got a rotten
Kiwifruit and a broken plug!"
Harry got lots of presents this year. Hermione gave him a book, Dean T gave him a football, Seamus gave him a fluffy Seamus toy and a customized paddle,
Joel gave him some Hobbit weed, Neville gave him a Remembrall 3000, Chow gave him Cedric's finger, Quinton gave him a signed copy of his book, Dobby
gave him a sock, Paul gave him a hug (ha! PAUL HUG!!!!!!!! OMG PAUL HUG!!! WoOt!) and Voldemort gave him a vial of poison, which Harry drank
immediately.
"Steve Cloves really ruins the magic!" J.K fired Steo and let Alfonso do the script for PoA.
The chaos was interrupted by a loud screeching noise.
"Hedwig! What's that you've brought me? A note! What does it say Hedwig?" Hedwig nibbled on Harry's ear as Draco looked on in a jealous rage. "Someone
wants me up in my bedroom? Right now? I wonder who it could be..." Harry trailed off and caught Draco's eye. He nodded at him, and made his way down to
the dungeons where the Gryffindor dorms were.
He opened the door slowly, and shut it behind him. There were no wizz lights on so Harry muttered a few choice words.
Suddenly, the sun rose right outside the window, making all the vampires flee into hiding.
"Aunties?!" Harry didn't know what else to say.
Sirrie and Remmie were wearing dresses. And...
"Lupin! You're wearing make up!" Harry gasped as if there wasn't any air to breathe.
"That's right Harry. We are. Happily." Sirius put his arm around Remus.
"But... but you're boys." Harry slowly started backing out of the room but was stopped by a powerful magic.
"No Harry, we're men. You're a man too." Remmie freshened his lipstick.
"N-n-n-n-nooo!" Dan the man in Japan had been petrified!
"Happy Birthday son." Ewan (not the dog Ewan!) squeezed Harry's shoulder softly.
Harry blinked and they were gone. He rubbed his eyes, but there was no sign of his Unkles ever being there. He was beginning to think it was all a dream,
but then he noticed a box at his feet that had a note attached to it. And then he knew it was all real...
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
*zoom out to Hogwarts*
...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
*zoom out to England*
...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... *zoom out to the earth*...
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
*zoom out to the universe*
...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Harry said.
The note read, 'Your father left this in our possession when he died. He wanted you to have it on your 19th birthday. Use it well.' Harry greedily ripped the box open to find a dress. And a make-up kit. "Don't worry dad, I'll use it well. I'll use it well all right........."
Harry awoke in Draco's bed.
"Happy birthday my lion king." Draco transfigured Harry's blanket back into its original form...
"A present? For..... for me? Nobody ever gives me anything...." Harry sat up, adjusting his dress.
You were my son
You were my earth
You didn't know all the ways I loved you, no
So you took a chance
Made other plans
But I bet you didn't think they would come crashing down, no
"D-d-d-d-d--d-dd--d-Draco? What, what is this?" Harry's eye twitched.
"Its a Dragon Ball Z fuse earring. Let me explain how it works. You put this earring in your right ear, and I put mine in my left ear and we fuse together
immediately and forever so our powers combine, which means we can defeat the most evilest force in the wizarding world...." Draco paused for
suspense.
"Avril LaVigne." They said in perfect unison as if they were twins!
Back at tahi rua toru wha privet drive, Busted were just finishing their last song of the evening and David and Pierre were making out- right on the Dursley's couch!
Al's eye twitched as he watched JRM slowly take a drag of his cigarette.
"Hey, are you alright?" JRM patted Al's thigh as he blew smoke into his face. Al's eye was nearly vibrating it was twitching so hard!
"Mrrr!" Al fumbled in his pocket for...
"Here, have one of mine." JRM held out his sweet sweet packet of nicotine sticks. They were almost in Al's grasp....
"No!! M-must.... must restrain.... need lung cancer... NO!"
"ALEXANDER MAX BAND! What're yer doin'?" Kamin poofed in with a cloud of suspicious looking Nightcrawler smoke trails.
"Aha!" Al's fingers finally found the packet of nicotine patches, ripped them all open and stuck them all over his arm.
"Luckily I brought you some new nicotine patches, eh Alex?" Kamin passed his hobbit joint down the line. Al looked at his arm. And screamed. THEY WERE
LIFEHOUSE NICOTENE PATCHES!!!!
James was giving out signed Polaroid's of himself while the other two boyz were packing up.
"Sorry girls," He said to Bartemus and McGonagall who held out their legs for James to sign, "I don't have my pen license yet- I'm only allowed to use a
pencil.
But MJ and C3pee-o have their pen licenses- you should ask them."
"Um.. yeah... haha..." Mr Zipper zippered off.
"Maybe later.... err.... yeah..." Bartemus crouched away into the knite.
One week later celebrations had died down a bit, though people passing Harry in the hall still wished him a Happy Birthday.
"No one remembered that today was my birthday too......" Ron sighed, all alone.
A.N: Will Santana leave wittle Al and join Lifehouse? How will Quinton cope(land) now that he is no longer part of the whaunau? Who will be next on the list for Joel Madden....or is it Combs? Will Peter Unwritten law find love after Tyson AAR ditched him for Patrick??! Find out in the next chapter of PUMP THE BREAKS. review! Review! Review!