Authors: slytherinsRsexyer7283 and beater#4
Rating: PG-13
Summary: 6 years after arriving at Hogwarts, Jason's back and he's got the mask to prove it!
Disclaimer: Rowling = Harry Potter. slytherinsRsexyer7283/beater#4 = Crazy.
Chapter Thirty Six: Hullo Ween (working title)
I don't know what you heard about me
But you can't get a dollar outta me
Do do do do you can't see
Im a mutha friggin P.I.M.P
- Fitty Cent, P.I.M.P
~
It was a starless night and the castle loomed eerily on the hillside. Bats circled the top turret as lightening flashed and thunder rolled. But upon closer inspection, the bats were simply house elves dipped in black paint, spinning around on wires- Hermione would have something to say about that! And the lightning was really Snape's elaborate Light 'n Lazer Show. Behind him a row of students were waving large sheets of carboard which created the thunder effect.
Meanwhile, in the girls dorms, a fiesty Irish lion awoke with sun glaring in its eyes. Dean T put up his West Coast Choppers poster. "What- but- Halloween was yesterday! Don't you guys remember?" Terry Boot took off his boots and put on terracotta gumboots- Terry! Suddenly, Dumbledores voice crackled over the loudspeakers, and he wheezed loudly into the microphone, tugging on the hem of his denim trouserleg. "I have an announcement to make. Tonight marks the nite of All Hallows Eve and the 72nd Year anniversary of James and Lily's death!" Everyone rolled over and looked at Harry. But Harry wasn't there. Or wazz he wizz? "I wonder how old Dumbledore really is?" Ron pondered, while he dug through the school rubbish bin, scrounging for his food for the day, "Wizz cakes!"
The mob made their way down to Occlumency Lessons, which was held in the living room, a cosy alternative to the library where the class was usually held. "Let me guess, we have this class with Slytherin?" Roger Davies chortled to himself. "Um, no... we don't actually" Kreacher tigered hidden dragoned. "Actually we do. My father..." Draco trailed off. "I would trust Hagrid with my life," Dumbledore trusted Hagrid with his life, but Hagrid failed and Dumbledore collapsed into a pile of dust and mucus. "Ooo right then... right then... okay... riiiiight... GRYFFINDOR!" Loony Luna looped.
Meanwhile, in a hidden secret chamber far below the school, Chow was dragging Cedric's corpse into the school laboratory. She hoisted him up onto the slab and cackled...
"Fuck you Uncle Vernon!" wemworm stole some icons. "Settle down, Settle down," Mundungus pile o rags'd, "Today we're going to be carving Wizz-o-Lanterns!" Mundungus put some students on the black market. "Pull out your pumpkins- no no no Seamus, not THAT pumpkin!" "Whats Seamus trying to do?" Ron popped out from behind the cobwebs and made some handicapped noises. "*handicapped noise* Harry, yay *handicapped noise* duh Harry. Trying to turn water into rum *handicapped noise*." Alun weilded his trusty tiki club, stabbing at his pumpkin wildly, knocking his pointed witch hat askew. Dean T was busy gnashing teeth into his, while Grindylow #79 polished his scarecrow masque. Dumbledore was busy putting the finishing touches on his sweet transvesite costume. Oliver Wood decided to 'keep' his pumpkin, though Fred and George were 'beating' theirs. Angelina, Alisa and Katie were 'chasing' their pumpkins around the room and the one and only Kurt Russel (the new student on the block) who had lost his vegetable and was 'seeking' it using the seeker powers passed down through generations.
"But Hagrid, how am I to pay for this? I haven't any bling bling." Harry flashed his gold teeth menacingly as he pulled his carving knife out of his satchel. "Oh g0ds Jimmy P, your costume is major fit!" Draco lusted at the bespeckled teen sitting next to him. "Oh g0ds Dray, I wish on Merlins Beard that you were a real Vampyre and then I would let you bite me!" Harry, who for some reason was wearing a 'hoodie' and jeans that fitted him, poked his lovers ribs. "I am a real vampire...." Draco's fangs swivelled down his chin and over into Harry's neck.
Voldemort got out of the shower and went to bed.
Hagrid's stomach rumbled, which signalled the beginning of the feast.
Ron's orange flamed mop peeked over the rim of the pumpkin he was currently inside. The pumpkin mush smudged around his mouth, blending around his freckles. He stood up fully, coming out of the pumpkin like a pleasant suprise, extending his arms in a full circle grabbing everyones attention. "Oooh! The strippers hair!" The sandy hered irish man grunted, whippng off his clothes in advance.
"Let the feast...... begin!" Micheal Gambon clapped his hands ceremoniously.
Harry felt a cold chill pass through him, but it was only Sirrie making his way to the empty seat next to Remmie.
The tables were laden with so much food, they sagged under the weight. Black jello quivered next to the haunted sausages which were attacking Neville. Draco took a drawling sip from his silver and green goblet. "What the fuck is this shit?" The bleached non-gelled nemisis asked angrily. Crabbe or Goyle paused momentarliy, pulling the triple decker spider cake, iced with bones -
*flashback* "I'll grind your bones to make my icing!" *end flashback*
-out of his mouth. "Why Drakkie old chap," Goyle puffed on his cigar, "I believe it is called Pumpkin juice"
"Let the party...... begin!" Dumbledore hitched up his robes, rolled up his sleeves and pushed the Ravenclaw table with all his might as the rest of the school stood back and watched impatiently. Several years went by and it wasn't until Halloween 2007 that the old man had managed to get the tables stacked up against the walls of the Great Hall. Snape dimmed the lights and the eerie tune of the Halloween Theme song creeped around the hall. "But- but- guys, we had this party last week, don't you remember?" Dom landoed.
Harry boogied down in his Sid Vicious costume, his punk chains jangling around as he did the Electric Slide (A.N: Can someone PLEASE tell us what the fuck the electric slide is? Instructions please!). Fred and George were dressed as THE MTV TWINS: Carson Daly and Aries Spears, and were doing a dance they made up. Neville was attempting the Running Man which was extremely hard in his Peach costume. Dumbledore had mastered the art of Pole dancing and was shimmying up and down the cold metal rod touching hot skin. "Aye guinness.." Seamus, or Ronan O'Feely as he was known in his porn movies, began whipping his fellow classmates' feet, trying to get them to join in irish hos jig "Whats Seamus trying to do?" Ron popped out from behind the Dublin Irish festival and made some handicapped noises. "*handicapped noise* Harry, yay *handicapped noise* duh Harry. Trying to turn water into rum *handicapped noise*."
"Draco! Your hair! I... I mean you're here! What are you doing hair?" The boy who lived was momentarily taken aback and somewhat disgusted at the lack of gel caked into Draco's hair. His nemisis had nothing to say, so Harry shrugged and pulled him in tightly for One Slow Dance (by Simple Plan!). "You complete me..." Harry wizzpurred in Draco's ear, pulling him in even closer and they began swaying in time 'Put Your Hand On My Shoulder' by the local wizard band Junior Senior, made up of local wizards Barty Crouch and Croucher Snr. "Oh my lioness, my sweet lion cub!" Dray bebe layed his head onto the Hazzlers shoulder, fangs extending punkchring the youngest seeker in the centries vein. "Owchies!" Harry cried out in pain, but to Draco ears it was love.
"I was shot 9 times!!" Dean T- I mean, 50 Cent adjusted his bullet proof vest, while Ron trailed along behind him dollar signs flashing hungrily in his eyes which bought the Halloween Feast to a happy end! Have a happy and safe Hulloween everyrons! Don't accept candy from Lucius!!
A.N: What happens when Blaize gets sucked into the pitt of doom and comes across Frodos twin brother Gandalf??, Will Snape find Oliver in the freezer before its too late?!, And who will win in the battle between Ron and Zippo in the world table tennis championship finals? We don't know, and neither should y-y-ouuu..Review! Review! Review!