Title: Harry Potter and the Extent of Existence
Author: Yih
Disclaimer: This is slash, specifically HP/SS.
Don't like don't read and I don't own anything except new theories,
Signy, Sahar, and Hana.
Beta: Blackumbridge
~
2: Waiting Time (December 2, 2003 to December 5, 2003)
"I won't marry you, Dray, get up off your knees."
"Why?" he demanded. "I don't understand, this is what we've wanted all these years."
"It's what you've wanted all these years."
"You can't say you don't love me anymore! I know you do! I know that you love me!"
Hermione smiled sadly. "It's true. I still love you, but my place was never meant to be by your side, Dray. There's too much against us. Even if the Dark Lord wants us together, it's because as you've told me, he wants Sebastian and Sahar together. But they don't want to be together, and if they don't--- there's no reason to force me and Sebastian apart. There's no need to shatter the perfect life we've made for Hana, our daughter."
"Hana has to learn sometime that she isn't Sebastian's daughter, Herm."
"But she doesn't have to learn that right now. She's only 6 for Merlin's sake, Dray. She's too young to have her happy home life disrupted! I won't ask Bast to disavow our wedding vows unless he wants to. It doesn't mean I don't love you, but love sometimes isn't enough."
Draco cupped Hermione's face gently and drew her close to him. She didn't resist him; she could never resist him. "Don't say that. Don't say that love isn't enough. It has to be. I've never given up on us, how can you?"
"Because," she whispered painfully, "I saw it almost kill my best friend."
"What?"
Her eyes widened with shock and a bit more kindness. "You didn't know?"
"Know what? What did he do to Bast?" Draco cried out. "What did the bastard do?"
"He ripped Bast's insides out and it was all Poppy and the best team of surgical mediwizards from St. Mungo's could do to save him. He's as stable as they can get him. They really need to transfer him to St. Mungo's, but they don't want to risk flooing him at least not until his vital signs are stronger. Severus is with him now, so is Hana. I've never seen Hana cry so much. It tears me up inside.
"Bast has sacrificed so much for us, Dray. And if there's one thing that's been worth it for him, it's been Hana. I don't want to take her away from him. Hana's as much his daughter as she's mine or even yours."
He knew that Sebastian had done a lot for them, but he had never thought that Hermione would say no to him when they finally could get married. He'd always thought the only reason that they weren't together was because his father would have him committed to St. Mungo's if he dared to marry Hermione. Lucius had threatened just that, and had locked him in the dungeons when he'd tried to run off and elope with Hermione.
If Hermione hadn't convinced him that she couldn't bear to see him in St. Mungo's or Sebastian stepping up to shelter Hermione underneath the protection of his name--- he would have married her seven years ago. Even if Hermione was saying that it was for Hana's sake, they could still have Hana think she was Sebastian's daughter and just tell her that the marriage wasn't working out. Divorce wasn't unheard of in the wizarding world, and it was becoming more common.
"It's not only for Hana's sake is it? And I don't mean it's for Bast's either."
"What are you talking about?"
Draco had his suspicions. He'd always wondered if it was an act, or if Hermione was really happy with Sebastian. Sometimes, he didn't think that it was but Hermione had always told him that he was the love of her life. Was it possible? Could she fall for her best friend? She had fallen for him… after all. "Do you love him?"
"Bast?" she queried. She nodded and he thought his heart was about to break. "Of course, I do. Why wouldn't I?"
"I mean, are you in love with him? Do you have feelings other than that of a sister for a brother, more than that of a best friend?"
"I can't believe you're asking me this! You know that I love you, Draco Black Malfoy! I love you! I'm in love with you!"
"You aren't denying that you love Bast, though," he pointed out.
Hermione gave him an exasperated look. "You are the bloody love of my life, and I'm not in love with Bast!"
"Are you sure?" He still sounded uncertain, as if he didn't believe her.
She growled and pulled his face down so that she could shut him up with a kiss. "You're the one I love, and if I didn't think it was the best for all of us for things to stay as they should--- I would marry you in a heartbeat. But this is better for Bast and it's better for Hana, and it doesn't hurt me either. I know that you've always wanted to marry me, Dray, but we've still got all our life, and not being married hasn't hurt our love. I think it's only strengthened it.
"You know that I'm practically the only one that will give Bast what he needs, a free rein to pursue his relationship with Severus. And for Hana, Bast is the best daddy he could be for her. As for me, Bast is there for me when you can't be and he's a wonderful husband and a marvelous best friend. I have the best of both worlds. A caring husband and a passionate lover that I'm mad about." She kissed him hard. "I do love you, I love you so much."
"I love you more."
~
He still hadn't woken up yet. Poppy and the team of mediwizards they had called in from St. Mungo's said that he'd live. They said that most of his injuries had been healed up as when they'd gotten to him, there had been a healing spell cast by a powerful wizard that had stabilized him enough for them to do the surgery that got to his internal injuries. Severus was slightly relieved that Voldemort had not been angry enough to deny Harry the medical treatment he'd need to survive. It did pay to be his favorite.
"Do you know how much I love you?" Severus whispered hoarsely, his hand reaching up to gently caress Harry's cheek. It was late at night, the only time he'd been alone with his lover with the throng of people that had been in and out of the hospital ward. "Do you know I can't live without you, my love? Do you know how badly you scared me when I saw you, looking near death? Harry, won't you wake up?"
His Harry didn't stir, but the magical monitor that was measuring his vital life signs was steady and though not strong--- they weren't weak either. He was going to live, that much was clear, but it still wasn't clear the extent of damage that Harry had suffered. They would have to wait until he woke up because he had been placed under Cruciatus so long that it could have driven him mad.
Severus wouldn't think about that. He couldn't think about that. If he did, he'd go mad. Harry had to be okay, he didn't believe that Voldemort would drive his favorite insane--- not when he wanted Harry to marry Sahar. But Voldemort was incredibly touchy when it came to Harry. Severus didn't even want to think about what Voldemort would do if he found out that Harry was in love with him. Not good. Definitely not.
"If you won't wake up for me, won't you wake up for Hana?"
He was jealous of Hana, that she had so much of Harry's love and affection, but he had to admit that little girl loved Harry fiercely. It hurt his heart to watch her cry endlessly over Harry's prone body until Hermione had taken her aside and told her that she had to go and let daddy get better. Hana had reluctantly left, but not after showering kisses on her daddy's face. Harry loved Hana, and Hana most assuredly loved him.
"Don't you know how much we both need you?"
~
She kissed him softly on the lips, desperately trying to reach him but he would not be reached--- not by her. "Please," she begged, "I love you so much." He would not look her in the eye. "Marry me, Sirius."
He looked at her but with those eyes that she hated, those detached and uncaring eyes. "I'm not in love with you," he enunciated clearly. "You know that I love Remus."
Her eyes filled with tears and she nodded helplessly. "I know that you love Remus, but don't you love me just a little?"
"You know that I love you, Sahar, but not like that. I can't love you like that. You're like the daughter that I've never had."
"If I'm the daughter that you never had, how could you sleep with me? Don't tell me that it was just a fit of stupidity. You've slept with me more than once, Sirius, and you weren't drunk either."
Sirius's dark eyes pinned her with that gaze of intensity that she craved. "It was me being foolish, and you should have known better. Don't you respect yourself more than that, Sahar? You know that I love Remus, and only him. He's the only one for me. You should move on," he told her with a note finality. "You know your father wants you to marry Sebastian."
What he didn't add was that if Sahar married Sebastian, she might be able to wrestle him away from Severus's clutches. He still didn't understand why Harry was still in a relationship with that Snape bastard! He couldn't comprehend the attraction or the love the two shared. Severus was an utter bastard and a possessive one at that, Sirius thought darkly. His godson deserved better, damn it. Why did Harry stay with Severus? He could do better, and Sahar was a brilliant and beautiful young woman.
"He's married to Hermione Granger," Sahar retorted. "And he's happily married to her!"
No, it's a fucking sham. But he didn't say that. While it was common knowledge among the higher ranked Death Eaters that Hana wasn't Sebastian's daughter but Draco's, it wasn't well known that Harry was in a serious long term relationship with Severus Snape. How they'd managed to hide it all these years still puzzled Sirius when they were blatant about it when they were together.
Sirius didn't approve of their relationship, but that hadn't stopped them. Seven years later, they were still as devoted and as mad about each other as they had ever been. The sting of their relationship had lessened over the years, and he'd grudgingly admitted that Severus did indeed love Harry, but still--- the age difference and even more--- that Severus was unnecessarily harsh to Harry.
"You know that your mother wants the marriage as well," Sirius stated instead. "What your mother wants, she gets."
"I won't be my mother's bitch."
"But you'll be your father's."
She narrowed her eyes, she might love Sirius more than life itself--- but that didn't mean she had to take shit from him either. She had pride, her father's and her mother's and her own, and she wouldn't take crap from him--- especially when she didn't deserve it. "If I was my father's bitch, I would never have dared to love you. I would never have saved your lover either!"
"Why did you save him?" Sirius questioned, he'd always wondered but he'd never asked. As the heir of Slytherin, it had always puzzled him why she hadn't taken her rival for his affections out--- but he'd been thankful that she hadn't. "Why did you, Sahar?"
"Because I knew that if I didn't, you'd never look at me with any softness anymore," she cried out. "And I couldn't bear that. I love you too much to ever want to hurt you."
"It's not the Slytherin thing to do."
She nodded. She knew that. "But aren't you glad that I didn't?"
"Of course I am," he responded. "You shouldn't even ask. You know I'm thankful you saved his life, and if he knew--- I'm sure he would be too."
She shrugged. "I don't care about what he thinks, I only care about what you think."
"I know. But you did a good thing, Sahar, saving his life."
"And you still don't love me. What do I have to do?" she asked in a small voice. "What do I have to do to make you fall in love with me? Why can't you love me? I've tried so hard, I've done everything and you don't."
"I don't know," he answered truthfully. She had done everything. She did anything and everything that she thought would make him happy, and he just couldn't fall in love with her. "You're a beautiful and brilliant witch, Sahar, but you can't make someone love you. It just happens."
"And you can't make me stop loving you," she whispered painfully. "Merlin knows I've tried."
He drew her close to him and hugged her tightly. They were two sad souls. She loved him and he didn't love her, not in that way. Meanwhile, he was in love with a werewolf and even though Remus loved him too--- they could never be together while Voldemort ruled over Europe. It was forbidden.
~
"Lucius."
"My Lord," Lucius murmured reverently, his face bent down, "Master."
"Did you know that Hana Biggerstaff was your granddaughter?"
Lucius shook his head. He had been administered Veritaserum by Severus. He couldn't lie even if he wanted to. "No. I did not know that Hana Biggerstaff was my granddaughter, if I had known I would not have allowed a mudblood to raise her."
"I am sure that Draco has told you what I want."
"Yes. You want to break up Sebastian and Hermione by having Draco propose to Hermione." This was painful for Lucius to say. He might not hate Hermione Granger, but she would never be good enough to take on the Malfoy name. She was a mudblood, for Merlin's sake! It was bad enough that his granddaughter was half mudblood!
"Sahar has told me that she does not want to be married to Sebastian," Voldemort remarked. "I think the match is a good one. I still have yet to discover how Sebastian has the parseltongue ability, but he does have some Slytherin blood in him. That gift doesn't pop up randomly. It is the bloodline. It could be that he comes from a bastard lineage. And what records that have been dug up about the Biggerstaffs have dead-ended.
"Without a family relic, it's impossible to do any blood magic spells to discover his lineage," Voldemort said sharply. "But it doesn't matter. I already know that he does have some Salazar Slytherin in him, and I intend for Sahar's child to continue to strengthen the line. I can only imagine what their child will be like. The strongest witch since Morgaine mated with the strongest wizard since Tom Riddle. I shudder to think how powerful their child will be, definitely worthy of being the Heir of Slytherin."
"A worthy grandchild," Lucius murmured, "unlike my own."
"Hermione Granger is not a witch to be underestimated, Lucius," Voldemort chided. "She may be a mudblood and if Sebastian had not married her, dead years ago, but she is a powerful witch. Her majority came later than expected. Her hard pregnancy probably had something to do with it. At 22, her majority is quite respectable and she could have possibly hit it at the same time as Bellatrix."
"That is true, my Lord."
"It is too bad that the child was conceived after both of her parents hit majority. But the child's magical signature has not suffered for the lack of magical energy that her parents had to bestow to her. Then again, I'd expect no Malfoy child, bastard or not to be squib. Your line has always bred true."
Lucius smiled briefly. "It has."
"I know that Granger has said no to your son, but I want him to keep trying. I want Sebastian to be the father of Sahar's child. I want him by her side when she tries to conquer the Americas. I also expect you," Voldemort's crimson eyes bored down heavily on Lucius, "and Bellatrix to work together on the common goal of securing the Americas."
"I understand, my Lord. But…"
"But?" Voldemort didn't look displeased nor surprised, Lucius often questioned his actions. Malfoy arrogance, but he was in a generous mood or else Lucius would have been writhing under Cruciatus. He didn't feel like he should punish Lucius for his strength all the time; sometimes, it was necessary to reinforce the master-servant relationship. Besides, he had no doubt in Lucius's loyalty to him. While it wasn't quite to the degree of Bellatrix's, Lucius's allegiance was nothing to sneer about.
"Sahar has said no."
So that was it. Voldemort knew that Lucius despised Bellatrix, but he'd always suspected that Lucius held a soft spot for his niece by marriage. Sahar did have some of his charisma, and she had spent her childhood in Lucius's house. "Sahar has said no because she wants to prove herself. I know she's capable, but as her father I want to protect her. It is the same for you, with Draco? You wanted to protect him, that's among the reasons you didn't want him to marry the Granger witch, am I not right?"
"You are right," Lucius admitted reluctantly. There had been more than the reason that Hermione was a mudblood. He'd known that the Dark Lord was working on a law about exterminating the mudblood wizards and witches. He couldn't afford Draco to risk his life for hers, if it came down to it. And it hadn't, fortunately. Also, he couldn't bear to think that his Dragon would have fled willingly with her to the Americas where most of the mudbloods had run to. "I wanted to protect my son."
"As I want to protect my daughter. She is strong but with Sebastian, she will be even stronger. I want that for her. And you will get that for her. I don't care how Draco does it, I want Draco to marry Hermione."
"Yes, my Lord."
"You will do this, Lucius."
"I will."
~
"She won't marry me."
"Our Lord wants you to marry her."
Draco's silver eyes narrowed into slits. His father was a fierce opponent, but he wasn't his father's son for nothing. "I already asked her and she said no. She wants to stay married to Sebastian for Hana. Hana really loves her daddy."
"But you are Hana's father."
"But she has been raised thinking Sebastian is her father."
Lucius pinned his son with a gaze that said you must do this. "Hana is a Malfoy, and I refuse to have her raised as anything else. I don't care if her mother is a mudblood, she is still my granddaughter."
"Would you," Draco began with trepidation, "still acknowledge Hana as your granddaughter if our Lord hadn't forced the issue?" This he had to know. Even if Hana didn't think that he was anymore than her godfather, he was fiercely proud of his energetic daughter. She reminded him of a more carefree version of himself, a more affectionate him. Why wouldn't she be? Bast and Herm lavished love on her. Hana was a lucky little witch.
"She is a Malfoy," Lucius stated vehemently, "even if she's a half blood."
"Would you have protected her against our Lord if I had told you when she was born that she was a Malfoy?"
"She wouldn't have been able to live in Europe," Lucius responded. "But your mother and I would have made sure that she grew up comfortably where it was safe for her. In a way, you made a good choice in having Sebastian marry Granger. As our Lord's favorite, he got a reprieve for her and her half blood daughter. You could at least have watched her grow up, even if she doesn't know who you really are."
"Yes," Draco remarked painfully. "And she is very much my daughter. She might love Bast more than anyone else, but she acts like my daughter and she has the Malfoy looks."
"The Malfoy line breeds through. She'll be a strong witch despite you and your mudblood lover's being magically immature. She won't be as strong as your other children, but she won't tarnish the Malfoy name."
"Other children?" He was confused. As long as he'd ever known, the Malfoys had always given birth to one heir to continue the line. Of course, it might be because his heir was a girl instead of a boy. But there was a precedent. Three hundred years ago there had been a Malfoy heir that had been a girl and she had gotten her husband to take her surname. "But…"
"Our Lord," Lucius began sharply, "wants those under him to have more children to strengthen the wizarding world after the mass extermination and exodus of mudbloods from Europe. He wants us to repopulate the wizarding population in Europe, and that means for the Purebloods to have more children.
"I agree with him to a certain degree that we have been selfish in hoarding our wealth and status by limiting ourselves to having a single heir in every generation. That has done a lot in weakening the power of our presence." This made sense why Lucius would want this to Draco, Malfoys had always craved power. He would be wrong to say he didn't either, he did--- just not as much as his father.
"So you want me to marry Hermione and have more children with her?"
Lucius nodded. "Precisely."
~
"Why won't daddy wake up, mommy?" Hana asked in a whimper, her eyes filled to the brim with her unshed tears. "Did I do something bad?"
Hermione's heart broke. How Hana could think it was her fault that Bast was currently lying in the hospital ward struggling for his life saddened her. It also made her realize the terrible reality that even though Hana was incredibly mature for her age in some ways, she was still a child. There were some things that she didn't understand, and children tended to think everything that happened in the world revolved around them. Sometimes it was bad; other times, it was tragic like this.
"You didn't do anything wrong, sweetie," Hermione responded, holding her arms out to her daughter. Hana came to her and allowed her mother to hold her tightly. Hermione felt a sharp pang in her heart, it wasn't jealousy, just understanding the pain that Hana must be feeling. If Bast wasn't fighting for his life, Hana would have been in his arms. "Never think that, okay? Daddy just had something bad happen to him, but he'll be all right."
"He doesn't look all right, mommy."
"I know, baby, but he will be. You trust, mommy don't you?"
Hana nodded and pressed her forehead into her mommy's neck. "You swear daddy will be okay?"
"I swear sweetie, I swear."
God, Hermione hoped he would be. There was no doubt that Bast would live, but she had heard the mediwizards talking to Poppy. They weren't so sure he'd come out of this with a sound mind. She remembered the Longbottoms' case that they'd cited as a precedent. The Cruciatus curse had been applied on them for nearly half an hour and they'd gone insane. The curse had been applied multiple times to Bast for far longer. It was enough to drive any mortal insane, no matter how powerful Bast was.
"Mommy?"
"Yes, darling?"
"I want to find a shooting star tonight."
"Why, sweetie?" Hermione questioned, a bit puzzled by this request. Sebastian only encouraged their daughter's weird antics, and she thought it made it worse. But she didn't stop him from indulging her, she liked seeing them both happy.
"Daddy says you can make wishes on them. I want to make a wish."
"And what would you wish for?"
"I can't tell you," Hana replied solemnly. "The wishes don't work if you say them out loud, but what else would I wish for mommy?"
Yes, what else would anyone wish for? "Let's go find the star then."
~
Author's Note: Lucius isn't a total bastard. Voldemort a ruthless dictator. Hana's darn cute. Sirius isn't the ultra good guy. Sahar is pathetic yet draws sympathy. Draco was a brat when he's little, so why wouldn't Hana be? Harry's totally out. Will he lose his mind? BWAHAHAHA! Sev's desperately in love, poor greasy git. I adore the next chapter. I simply adore it. Too bad you won't see it for a while (at least 'til next week). On a sadder note, I'm going through muse withdrawal again. So sorry. It happens, especially since I spit out 4 chapters that fast and another series (that has 5 chapters). Um… I don't know when I'll start writing. It could actually happen at any time. Muses are random buggers.
Thanks to Siderius Cimmerii (SL & HP are very much friends), Lady Snake, hjlavery, nikki, Zaira-Draco, Doneril, Elena, Silaqui, Carya, Lisa13 (Yes HP will be going back. You'll find out about the other world shortly.), Leiri (TY, my beta corrects a lot for me and she does a good job with the limited time I give her), Coo, Natara (SL will do anything to please her father, even if it is the impossible), Eriee (HP will go back), Kateri1, Kathy stgqvk, Ann (Possibly will get darker, won't say anything else), RainWaters (Unfortunately life isn't happy all the time), Lina Inverse the Dramata (I never said Voldemort was good and neither is Dumbledore evil, just corrupt), severlover, snowy, loverwren, lightyearsaway, Jrou (Nope), Witchy-Althea, Shinigami061, chibi (HP & SS are just not together legally, but they are together unlike SB & SL which is probably the saddest love story, even DM & HG are together in a sense. Draco's not a bad father, but I don't think he has the patience to deal with a daughter exactly like him and HP likes DM so makes sense he'd like the daughter whose exactly like his best friend.), ozzypoos, elusive_love, Nicole, Dark Artist, Grey Malwell, deliolith, DaughterofDeath, wanderingwolf, Atermisu, Ewolf (ch.3), bramblerose-proudfoot, Quila, Calimora, Xyverz, Laura (Jo) Jade, Lishel Fracrium, Clairvoyant Snake, Lolita, ambrezwenko, The Goddess Artemis, Redrum, atalante, Lindiel Eryn, shelleykids, Calyx-girl (it was Sev), Sammy, Hele1 (Hana was conceived just out of school and you'll find out about the Potions Mastery), marishamarish, athenakitty, ennui deMorte (SL is her father's puppet), Raistlin Majere, Corgi1, Kyra2, RaNdOm Hp FaN, asa-chan.