Chapter 9- Whatcha doing?

            Some things you do without thinking. Or maybe you do them while unconsciously thinking; whatever the case, they gradually become habitual reflexes and you ignore them altogether.

            Lily's relationship with James was somewhere along those lines. All of the sneaking around, the hiding from her friends; it was reflex behavior. When she came in late at night and her friends asked after where she had been with their usual hopeful smirks, she would smile and respond, "In the library." or "in the Heads room, catching up on homework." And for some reason, they believed her. At least, she supposed they did.

            When they would ask her how she felt about James, even if she was only half paying attention, she would say, "He's an inconsiderate bastard." It was good thing too. If these things weren't involuntary for her, she would have already told them everything on her mind.

            The real question, the one she had been avoiding most, was- should she tell them? Every other girl would consider that the easiest problem ever. They wouldn't give it a second thought. But not Lily; she was too cautious, too unforgiving, and too untrusting. Of her own best friends? Well, not exactly. Truthfully, she trusted them more than anyone else, and rightfully so. What killed her was the fact that they had predicted all of this! She couldn't possibly give them the satisfaction, the opportunity to say to her, "I told you so!" in a tone that would make her cringe. Thinking about it made her cringe.

            With Jessica and Heather, it had always been back and forth. The three of them weren't so openly close, but even if they didn't show it, they were close. It was the sarcastic nature that caused them to playfully tease each other and play tricky mind games. For sure, if they found out about Lily's sneaking around, they wouldn't let her hear the end of it.

            This is why Lily continued to smile sweetly and say, "I hate him, why the hell do you care?"

~*~*~*~

            "Bloody hell…" Lily moaned, sitting on the edge of her bed in the dorm, swinging the inside of her feet against each other repetitively and staring at the essay sitting next to her. Potions had never been her favorite class. Severus Snape was probably the only person who actually liked it…well, he could take her essay and eat it for all she cared. Knowing him, he just might.

            Jessica and Heather glanced over at her questioningly. She smiled at them and said, "I'm just having trouble with this Potions essay."

            The two of them glanced at each other, blue eyes meeting brown in confusion. They turned back to Lily and raised their eyebrows. "I thought you finished that last night in the Heads room." Heather suspiciously narrowed her eyes as if searching for a clue.

            Lily swallowed. Damn, she had said that, hadn't she? "Erm…yeah, I just…lost that copy." The half moon seemed to glare at her through the window, as if it somehow knew that she was lying. Of course, if it was glaring, that would mean she was hallucinating. She blinked and focused her emerald eyes again on her friends.

            "Well," Jessica shrugged, "don't you have a basic idea of what you wrote?"

Lily frowned. "No. I was…tired last night."

            Heather shrugged. "Sucks for you, then."

"Right." Lily absently rose from the bed and gathered her things. "I'm going to the library to pick out a book to help me. I probably won't be back for awhile, so don't bother waiting for me." With that, she smiled and left.

            Heather turned to Jessica. "She's been smiling more lately."

Jessica nodded in agreement. "But I guess that's a good thing."

            "Are you blind? Something's going on that we don't know about!"

The blonde-haired girl rolled her eyes. "As if I didn't notice. But what do you think it is?" she rubbed a hand against her chin, as if she were in one of those old mystery movies where the chin-rubbing was a must for solving the case.

            "I would say James, but she seems adamant about hating him…maybe we were just wrong about the two of them." Heather sighed, leaning a hand against her cheek and thinking about what they were missing. "Well," she continued, "there is one way to find out."

            "You mean follow her?" Jessica frowned. "I suppose. But I have a better idea…"

            Heather glanced at her friend with probing brown eyes. "What then?"

 There was a pause. "Okay, so maybe I don't have a better idea….but we can always think of one."

~*~

            Meanwhile, the Head Girl was grinning to herself and entering the Heads common room. She walked inside and shut the door behind her. The fire was already roaring and James was, as usual, already waiting for her on the couch. He heard her movement and quickly turned around to smile at her.

            Lily moved quickly, dropping her books and almost blank Potions parchment on a table next to the door. She sighed and fell beside James on the couch, leaning over to give him a brief kiss.

       "How was your day?" James asked, grinning toothily.

Lily smirked at him. "You were with me the whole day...classes, you know. Have you forgotten already?"

             "I was being courteous, but if you'd prefer-"

"Oh, I would." she grinned and leaned over and caught his lips in another kiss. This was the usual between them; at least it had been for the past couple of weeks. It seemed like hiding it was only too easy.

            James pulled back at some point, holding her at arms length. "Lily?"

"Hmm?" She asked, looking like she was spacing out a little. When he didn't say anything, she tried leaning in to kiss him again. He let her, certainly wanting to himself, but soon he was holding her arms again. Lily looked confused. "What's wrong?" she asked suspiciously. Maybe she had learned to trust James, at least to an extent, but her suspicions would never actually leave her. She had to try and find a way to deal with them.

            "Well…" he sighed. "I was sort of wondering iwcoudtelpepleboutus."

Lily laughed and brushed a strand of black hair out of his eyes. "Go ahead, try again."

            For some reason, he looked a little scared of her. "I was wondering," he said it much clearer the second time around, "if we could tell people about us."

            Her smile faded and she scooted away a little. "I thought we talked about this."

            He was suddenly annoyed. "Well we can't hide it forever! This is stupid! Lily, I played along at first, because I wanted to have some sort of viable relationship with you, but now…this is just bullshit! Why not? I told you about me being an Animagi!"

            Her eyes flashed. "You don't understand." She snapped.

James took a deep breath. "Then tell me."

            "No."

"What the f-"

            "I don't have time for this now, okay?" she stood up, glaring down at him and waving her arms around pointedly, "I've been sneaking down here every night because I like you, but now I'm beginning to think that it's not worth my time!"

            He crossed his arms. "What are you so afraid of?"

Her glare turned into a scowl. "I'm not afraid of anything."

            "Fine, we've firmly established that." He clenched his jaw and attempted to soften his words because he knew that was the only way to get anything out of her. "Then what do you not want to happen?"

            Her eyes widened slightly, losing some of their anger. She realized that she was only a step away from telling him everything. These were things she hadn't told anyone…why would she tell him? "I'm not going to stand here and explain it all."

            Shaking his head, he grabbed her arm as she turned to leave and pulled her down onto the couch, next to him. "Okay, then sit."

            "But-" she started. Maybe if she just said a little bit he would be satisfied. Slowly, she mumbled, "You already know something of my friends. I don't really feel like listening to them make fun of me all the time."

            It was really too bad that James wasn't stupid. "That's not all. Why are you hiding this? If I didn't know you better, I might call you crazy."

            "Oh thanks." She snapped at him. "And there isn't anything else."

Her insistence only made him even more certain that she wasn't telling him everything. He was becoming impatient. "Why won't you just tell me?"

            Lily blinked at his sudden hard tone and scooted away again. "I'm telling you everything that I have to tell right now. If there was anything else, you would know when you need to know."

            "That's crap." He mumbled. "I'll bet you think this is all a funny trick."

"You know, James, I've been falling behind in classes, all because I come and meet you every night. I give it all up to be here, and you still say that I'm treating this as a joke?"

            "Damn it, look around you! You're always so self-absorbed! Have you ever thought that other people might be in a bad position as well? Just because you hate most people in general doesn't mean that you can walk around thinking that you're the only person on Earth who has needs. Who the hell cares if you're falling behind, you aren't the only one sacrificing!"

            Tears came unbidden to her eyes, making them shine, but she firmly held them back. Crying in front of him was definitely not what she planned to do. She looked angry and a little hurt as she flung herself off the couch, picked her things up from the table, and left.

~*~*~*~

            Throughout classes the next day, which happened to be a Friday, Lily couldn't stop herself from glaring at James. Of course, this meant that Jessica and Heather noticed it all, but she didn't really care what they thought of it.

            The trouble was that Lily didn't notice that she wasn't only glaring at him. There was something about the way she seemed angry with him that gave her friends the first clue. They had seen many couples fight, and this eerily reminded them of those past occasions. Especially when James would return her evil glance; he had never acted like that before.

            In Potions, Heather whispered to Jessica, "Watch the two of them closer. There is definitely something going on that we don't know about." Jessica gave her a strange look. "Don't pretend like you don't know who I mean when I say the two of them. You aren't that dull."

            And then came dinner. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, except that Lily and James were sitting across from each other because those were the only two seats left at the Gryffindor table.

            They sneered at each other and stabbed their food, lost in their own angry worlds. Meanwhile, James and Lily's friends were sitting next to them, watching in confusion.

            "Prongs?" Sirius started, his fork halfway to his mouth, which was open.

"What?" James snapped.

            "Why are you acting so…scary?" he grinned, abruptly realizing that there was nothing on his fork (because Remus had taken it off) and frowning while he piled more food onto it.

            James threw his own fork down. "What do you mean?" he demanded.

Sirius only smiled sweetly. "You're not angry with me, Prongs, so I forgive you for yelling."

            "Padfoot, you're annoying the shit out of me!"

But Sirius wasn't paying attention. The food on his half-raised fork was gone again. He grumbled something under his breath and Remus, who was sitting on his right, chuckled.

            Lily's eyes narrowed dangerously at James. "Well you're annoying the hell out of everyone here!"

            "Lily, dearest," he sneered at her, "I think you're the only one annoyed by me."

            Around that moment, Luke came in, taking a seat next to Peter, which a first year had left open. "Whatcha doing? Eating?" Even if he was still searching for 'who stole Lily', he somehow still managed to annoy everyone he possibly could with his idiot happy attitude, all the time.

            The Marauders glared at him. "For the last time," Sirius growled at him, "Do not ask obvious questions, which are dumb anyway, and answer them yourself. It makes you sound even thicker!" Luke only smiled, irritating the rest of them even further.

            There couldn't be a long lapse in the argument, so Lily started up again, turning back to James with a red face. "You're such an ass! Why can't you just admit when you go too far?"

            Heather leaned forward in interest. She smiled with a full mouth, her cheeks bulging. "So exactly how did you go too far?" It came out sort of muffled, but Lily and James both heard her and she earned two almost identical looks of aggravation.

            "I'm not the one who has problems admitting things Lily." He hissed. She opened her mouth to retort, but he threw down his fork and stood up.

            "Whatcha doing? Fighting?" Luke cut in, looking pleased with himself for some odd reason. He always seemed to be pleased with himself.

            James looked directly at him with a look that could have killed, then gave Lily one last heated glance before leaving the Great Hall.

            Everyone was staring at Lily. She scowled, threw down her own fork, and grumbled, "He is not getting away with this." And then she got up and stalked out of the Hall.

            The six of them still sitting there glanced around, half amused and half confused. Should they laugh?

            Sirius made a funny face, looking down at his plate. It was completely empty, but he didn't remember taking a bite.

            An amused Remus commented, "Wow, you ate fast."

Sirius looked over at him, and then down at Remus' plate, which was piled with twice as much food…it suddenly clicked in his mind. "Hey! Give that back!" Remus only laughed.

            Heather and Jessica were quiet, staring at their food. Was it possible that they had been wrong again? What was going on? The signs went back and forth, and they weren't sure what to pay attention to anymore.

            Jessica said, "We should probably go find Lily before she kills something."

"Yes, save our friend from the wrath of the flower!" Sirius called out. "But I will stay here, because people come to me, and I do not go after them." He pointed his chin upwards, trying to act noble.

            "Well, you may not have a friend left if we don't find Lily." Heather commented, grinning at him.

            Sirius shrugged. "Oh well, we'll see in an hour or so."

"Quite frankly," Remus broke in, "I don't have a clue what's going on."

            "And you think we do?" Jessica turned to her dark-haired friend. "Let's go." They left amidst waves from the Marauders and a white smile from Luke.

            Luke watched Remus, Sirius, and Peter, who glared at him. "Right then. I'm going to go look for Lily as well."

            Peter raised an eyebrow, but before he could ask any questions, Luke was gone and Sirius and Remus were fighting over Remus' doubly filled plate.

~*~

            Lily stalked through the halls with a flushed face. Where was that damn boy? She couldn't help but feel that she was in the wrong as much as he was, but the trouble was admitting it. Well, she decided, if he apologizes, I'll tell him what he wants to know. But first, she wanted to kick his ass; which was the purpose of her present search.

            She came up to the Transfiguration classroom, and was about to pass the door, when a hand grabbed her arm and pulled her inside.

            Lily groaned. "Get off!"
James narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

            "Because I'm about to knee you and I don't think it will feel nice!"

He took a step backwards. She took a step forwards. He held onto her arms and said, "Truthfully, I didn't pull you in here so that we could beat each other up. I wanted to say something."

            She pulled out of his grip. "What then? Say it so we can get on with this!"

"I'm…er…sorry…" he mumbled, looking at his shoes.

            Her mouth dropped open. "What did you just say?"

Their eyes met each other. "You heard me."

            "But-" she sighed, brushing a hand against her eyes and feeling tired all of a sudden. "Oh fine."

            He beamed. Damn it, now I have to tell him. She battled with her thoughts, but she knew what she needed to do. But was it really necessary to do it now?

            "I want to know what you're not telling me." James stated, addressing her exact thoughts. "But, you don't have to tell me tonight. How about you have three nights to tell me, or something like that?"

            She paused. "Fine." She grumbled in response.

He looked taken aback. No yelling at him? No protesting? "Are you okay?" he burst out.

            Her eyes became amused and her hand brushed his side. "Why wouldn't I be?"

            "I don't know…" he trailed off, pulling her a little closer, now that he was sure that she wouldn't be biting his head off.

            "I'm sorry too." Lily whispered, something they both knew was a new phrase to her tongue. He smiled at her and leaned down, softly pressing his lips against hers. His hands tangled in her long strands of auburn hair and they both were reminded of why they went through so much nonsensical trouble for this.

~*~

            In the mean time, Jessica and Heather pranced down the corridors, glancing around for any flash of red hair.

            "Well that was fun." Jessica grinned, meaning the dinner.

"Definitely." Heather glanced around. "Why are we looking around here?"

            They were nearing the corridor branching off to the Charms and Transfiguration classrooms, which were in close proximity with one another. "I dunno." Jessica shrugged. "It's not as if we know where she went. Might as well look over here."

            "Right." They heard a few noises break the silence ahead, and their eyes met questioningly. "Whatever we find out," Heather whispered to her, "we shouldn't tell Lily, or anyone, right away."

            Bewildered, Jessica inquired, "Why not?"

"Because we can have so much more fun with it if Lily doesn't know that we know, while we know that we know. She'll just think that we know that we don't know and she knows it too, or maybe she thinks we don't suspect anything…"

            Jessica looked at her like a psychiatrist in training might look at a delirious patient. "Whatever the hell you just said, you can explain it to me later. I hear something."

@~~~~~~~~~~~@

A/N: I'm not sure why, but this chapter was specifically fun to write.

KV- Lol, it doesn't matter if you don't know what else to say, the fact that you think it's great is enough for me to be happy. Thanks ;) Jade Angel Black- Well actually, something similar happened to my friends and I when we walked into Spanish class, only the guy didn't know that his butt crack was showing. It was hilarious. Haha, pajamas with footies are great, aren't they? Barbara- Lol, Luke and his hair…he'll never learn. Thanks for writing? Thanks for reading and reviewing! Everblue3- Well thanks. Lamina Court, she's a funny one, she is. Her little stories are definitely entertaining, I know what you mean by it being hard not to laugh. You're a bit nuts? Sometimes I have multiple personalities. Do you ever start making funny noises when class is really boring and not notice until someone says something to you? Lol, at least it was my friend today and not me. The worst part was when we couldn't stop laughing when we were supposed to be dissecting a pig because someone on the other side of the room had yelled out, "You dumbass, they all have nipples!" And why am I telling you this? See what I mean; I am a little off the hook. KirbeeDesirae- Yeah, I sort of did have a few rough weeks there, but everyone has them and it's getting better around here. Thanks for the encouragement. I agree, these chapters need to be longer! Soccer-luver-9- Well let me know when you get that story up! Yeah, I started out just reading a lot of fics on the site, but then I got bored and decided to try writing something. Gosh, and it's been a year since then! Lol, thanks for leaving me two reviews again ;) Mooky- Thanks, my mom is doing a little better, but she's still in a wheelchair. I'm glad you liked last chapter and took the time to review! Nerdypurdy- Lol, I know, it was a long time ago. How long have we been talking? Oh hell, I have no idea anymore…No chance your computer's fixed yet, is there? You need to get online, I'm bored already! Fiery red-haired girl- Makes me happy that you count it with your favs! Thanks a bunch! Caz- Lol, as you can probably tell, it looks like their relationship will be figured out before Lily will ever reveal it. Well at least you didn't think it was weird, because I am, so I can never tell ;) Lamina Court- Lol, made me laugh the second time I read it too. Slippers indeed. Sounds like you have a humorous life, especially family wise. My family is just plain retarded sometimes. I walked in yesterday and my little sister (who's 5) was watching South Park. I don't think she realized that it wasn't a normal cartoon show, lol, but she was laughing even though she didn't understand. Anyway, I'm not going to bore you to death, so thanks again. Cabge- Aw, it always makes me happy when people tell me I'm a good writer, so thanks. Lol, I know what you mean by guys just starting to call you something (like Snoopy)…Skyleia- I will keep going. Thank you and I hope you keep reading! Axania chic- Glad you like it so far, thanks much. Toria- I hope you liked this chapter too! Natalie- Lol, I think you can spell dying two ways, but who really cares anyways? Yes, I have AOL- its Embly51188. I warn you though, I'm away a lot, cause I leave it on all the time. But I'd love to talk sometime. FreakyFroggurl22- Lol, I've lost track of the last few months, so I know what you mean. But thanks for coming back to the story and reviewing again, I appreciate it! Carolinus Took- I will, I promise! I'm sorry it takes me so long to post these chapters…blame my teachers! Thanks a lot for reviewing…again ;) Libberacious- Luke is quite the self-absorbed one. I completely agree. Lol, thanks for reading, I'm glad this story is one of your favorites of mine. I go back and forth between all 3 I'm working on, myself.

A/N: I'm finished! Does anyone else feel relieved when they've finally finished a chapter? It took longer this time too, lol, because my cat kept walking on the keyboard and sitting on the monitor to swing her tail in front of the screen. It's as if she knows she's being annoying. Maybe I underestimate her…I hope you guys liked this chapter!