Chapter 4: Just Breathe
She never saw Eriol since that fateful night or heard from him since that fateful letter. No calls, no visits, no nothing. She hasn't heard from him or from the news of her "condition". They still haven't found the root of her problems. Oddly enough, things are looking up for her. Her health seems to strengthen. Yet, the tears of fall are passing and the earth is changing. Adaptation is her key in surviving. And to adapt, what must she do? How will she move on with the world when her heart holds back?
Simple. Just fake it. Wing it all and it'll be fine. Christmas is nearing. With any luck, the joy it brings will momentarily steal away the little deaths she holds inside. It has always been able to lift her a spirit a bit. In her time of need, maybe it will spare her some sorrow.
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- December 23 -
" I like this one."
" Do you really, Mother?"
" Yes. Hurry now, Kai will be here to pick you up in an hour."
She stared transfixed at the many dresses laid before her. A pair of eyes was on her and she uncomfortably shifted a bit with unease.
" Are you positive you'll be all right tonight? Tomoyo. you---you don't always have to be strong like this. No matter what, Kai and myself will always be there for you. If you're not feeling up to ---."
" Mother, stop. I'm ok. Really! Don't worry about me. Haven't you seen me get better? This is a sign!" A rapturous smile spread across her face.
Something was wrong. Terribly wrong. An accidental slip of a tear stained her mother's cheek. Her mother was strong. Never does she shed a tear. She was afraid to know what's wrong. Her gulp was made audible as she cautiously opened her mouth and asked.
" Mother? Mother. What's wrong? Look at me. What happened? Did something at work go wrong?"
A pitiful attempt of a genuine smile was displayed on her mother's façade.
" No, dear. It wasn't work. It's nothing. It's nothing."
She was meandering on dangerous grounds. She discontinued her pursue.
" Ok then. Look, I'll wear this one. If I recall right, you did like this one the best." Tomoyo grinned light-heartedly.
She sniffed. " Yes, yes. That will look great on you tonight. Kai is so lucky to have someone like you, daughter. Strong, beautiful, kind, understanding, hardworking. Traits of a perfect wife. You make me proud of what you have become."
" HaHa, mother! What has come over you? You act as if Kai will carry me off and never bring me back home to you again. Really, mother. You are ever too paranoid. Now if you excuse me, I have a ball awaiting me in an hour and a bath to attend to."
" Alright. You do that. Don't stay in the water too long, though. You might catch a cold."
" Fine, fine, Mum. Will do. Now shoo. Go downstairs and have Paolo make you something. You're looking awfully stressed out. Do find some rest tonight. I don't want a sick mother when I am just feeling better." Tomoyo directed her mother to the door and gently pushed it shut.
Pinning her hair, she slipped out of her attire and slithered into the ivory bathtub.
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[At the Christmas gathering.]
" Are you doing ok, Tomoyo? If you're feeling the least bit weak, I'll --- ."
Kai looked at her. She smiled warmly and held his arm closer to her.
" It's alright. I'll be fine."
' Fake it.' The thought running through her mind. ' You've seen Eriol and the way he treats [his] Kaho. You told me I was a girl of many masks, Eriol. Well, it's time to prove that.'
" I'm glad you are fine. It's been a while since we last met." She released a small gasp. ' That wasn't Kai's voice.'
She closed her eyes and turned her heels, holding in her breath.
However, Kai tugged her gently to where Eriol stood beside Kaho at the entrance. " Hey! We haven't seen you either, Eriol. Man, is this Kaho? She's a beauty. Got yourself a lucky man."
There he went. Unknowingly exhibiting the charm that was natural to him. 'Deep breaths. Just breathe. You're both in different stages in life. Let him go.'
She cleared her throat and held out her delicate little hand in Eriol's direction. " It was nice once meeting you again." Tomoyo plastered on her 'genuine smile' and persisted on. He was confused. She knew it.
" Uhh. Yea. It's nice seeing you as well." He reluctantly took her hand. She held ready to shake, but the moment her hand advanced to any movement, he held it steady and brushed his lips against her skin. The whole time, his mischievous eyes penetrated her own with a sting. She looked away for fear of the threatening tears.
" We have much to catch up on."
" Yes, we ---."
" That's all very nice. If you don't mind, Eriol, I must steal away Tomoyo for a dance. We all can't keep a goddess waiting."
He grabbed her hand and anxiously led her through the crowds. Her body hesitantly followed. It was all very warm around her. Loads of people attending Sakura's party stood packed on the dance floor around her. She no longer felt balanced. Her hand still gripping Kai's gripped harder. He noticed the sudden change and looked back. She tried to suppress the coughs that were obvious and slowly sank. Her knees buckled. Her breathing grew raspy and short. She was suffocating.
" Oh, god, Tomoyo?!" He bent down to her. Panic struck her face. She can't intake the air. " Tomoyo, precious. Calm down. Calm down. Look at me--."
She shook her head ferociously. He forcefully drew her chin to face him. She pleaded for him to do something. His heart broke. She looked at him. Unable to breathe, unable to speak, but her eyes were still alert with brimming tears. " Tomoyo!"
His alarming cry brought hundreds of the guests to his attention. The footsteps of four people weaved in and out of the crowd that now surrounded the fallen victim and the boy in panic.
" Tomoyo!" both Sakura and Eriol yelled simultaneously.
Sakura took hold of the situation. " Kaho! Get a hold of the hospital. Li, go call for Aunt Sonomi. The rest of you guys: Thank you for coming, but this gathering has been abruptly cut short. I wish you all to best during these happy holidays."
Sakura's final words sent the all visitors curiously gathering their belongings and heading for home.
" Honey, baby, look at me. You've still some breath in you. Calm down and more air will be able to make its ways to your lungs. Someone go get me a cold washcloth, dammit!"
Kai scrambled from his position of holding Tomoyo to find that "damn" washcloth. In his place, Eriol substituted. Beads of sweat held on her brow. Eyes dulling and wandering, her clenched fists bared into her palm. She focused on Sakura as Sakura muttered a charm. Eriol held her tight calming her from her struggling. With Sakura still holding Tomoyo's hand, she and Eriol muttered little incantations in unison.
Eriol stopped as Sakura went on. He was afraid. He was panicking, but he refuses to show it. He was always in control. Always. No one could break him, thus, but he couldn't deny the uncontrollable dread that brewed within. What happens if she didn't make it through this? He didn't even want to think of such things. As if by a twist of fate, as he thought of how she would come out of this setting, his train of thoughts was interrupted when the hand he held loosened its grip. Her refined hand rested against his own emotionless and her head of silk hair slumped against his chest.
Without thought, he brought her impassive body closer to his own and cradled her fretfully. He hysterically whispered her name over and over again lest she was able to hear him. He lifted her body slightly so her lolling head rested upon the crook of his shoulder as he whispered, " Tomoyo, dear one. How will I go on without your support? Come back."
[A/N: Meh. this chapter was probably confusing. If you got any questions just put it in a review and I'll post my reasons next chapter.]
She never saw Eriol since that fateful night or heard from him since that fateful letter. No calls, no visits, no nothing. She hasn't heard from him or from the news of her "condition". They still haven't found the root of her problems. Oddly enough, things are looking up for her. Her health seems to strengthen. Yet, the tears of fall are passing and the earth is changing. Adaptation is her key in surviving. And to adapt, what must she do? How will she move on with the world when her heart holds back?
Simple. Just fake it. Wing it all and it'll be fine. Christmas is nearing. With any luck, the joy it brings will momentarily steal away the little deaths she holds inside. It has always been able to lift her a spirit a bit. In her time of need, maybe it will spare her some sorrow.
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
- December 23 -
" I like this one."
" Do you really, Mother?"
" Yes. Hurry now, Kai will be here to pick you up in an hour."
She stared transfixed at the many dresses laid before her. A pair of eyes was on her and she uncomfortably shifted a bit with unease.
" Are you positive you'll be all right tonight? Tomoyo. you---you don't always have to be strong like this. No matter what, Kai and myself will always be there for you. If you're not feeling up to ---."
" Mother, stop. I'm ok. Really! Don't worry about me. Haven't you seen me get better? This is a sign!" A rapturous smile spread across her face.
Something was wrong. Terribly wrong. An accidental slip of a tear stained her mother's cheek. Her mother was strong. Never does she shed a tear. She was afraid to know what's wrong. Her gulp was made audible as she cautiously opened her mouth and asked.
" Mother? Mother. What's wrong? Look at me. What happened? Did something at work go wrong?"
A pitiful attempt of a genuine smile was displayed on her mother's façade.
" No, dear. It wasn't work. It's nothing. It's nothing."
She was meandering on dangerous grounds. She discontinued her pursue.
" Ok then. Look, I'll wear this one. If I recall right, you did like this one the best." Tomoyo grinned light-heartedly.
She sniffed. " Yes, yes. That will look great on you tonight. Kai is so lucky to have someone like you, daughter. Strong, beautiful, kind, understanding, hardworking. Traits of a perfect wife. You make me proud of what you have become."
" HaHa, mother! What has come over you? You act as if Kai will carry me off and never bring me back home to you again. Really, mother. You are ever too paranoid. Now if you excuse me, I have a ball awaiting me in an hour and a bath to attend to."
" Alright. You do that. Don't stay in the water too long, though. You might catch a cold."
" Fine, fine, Mum. Will do. Now shoo. Go downstairs and have Paolo make you something. You're looking awfully stressed out. Do find some rest tonight. I don't want a sick mother when I am just feeling better." Tomoyo directed her mother to the door and gently pushed it shut.
Pinning her hair, she slipped out of her attire and slithered into the ivory bathtub.
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
[At the Christmas gathering.]
" Are you doing ok, Tomoyo? If you're feeling the least bit weak, I'll --- ."
Kai looked at her. She smiled warmly and held his arm closer to her.
" It's alright. I'll be fine."
' Fake it.' The thought running through her mind. ' You've seen Eriol and the way he treats [his] Kaho. You told me I was a girl of many masks, Eriol. Well, it's time to prove that.'
" I'm glad you are fine. It's been a while since we last met." She released a small gasp. ' That wasn't Kai's voice.'
She closed her eyes and turned her heels, holding in her breath.
However, Kai tugged her gently to where Eriol stood beside Kaho at the entrance. " Hey! We haven't seen you either, Eriol. Man, is this Kaho? She's a beauty. Got yourself a lucky man."
There he went. Unknowingly exhibiting the charm that was natural to him. 'Deep breaths. Just breathe. You're both in different stages in life. Let him go.'
She cleared her throat and held out her delicate little hand in Eriol's direction. " It was nice once meeting you again." Tomoyo plastered on her 'genuine smile' and persisted on. He was confused. She knew it.
" Uhh. Yea. It's nice seeing you as well." He reluctantly took her hand. She held ready to shake, but the moment her hand advanced to any movement, he held it steady and brushed his lips against her skin. The whole time, his mischievous eyes penetrated her own with a sting. She looked away for fear of the threatening tears.
" We have much to catch up on."
" Yes, we ---."
" That's all very nice. If you don't mind, Eriol, I must steal away Tomoyo for a dance. We all can't keep a goddess waiting."
He grabbed her hand and anxiously led her through the crowds. Her body hesitantly followed. It was all very warm around her. Loads of people attending Sakura's party stood packed on the dance floor around her. She no longer felt balanced. Her hand still gripping Kai's gripped harder. He noticed the sudden change and looked back. She tried to suppress the coughs that were obvious and slowly sank. Her knees buckled. Her breathing grew raspy and short. She was suffocating.
" Oh, god, Tomoyo?!" He bent down to her. Panic struck her face. She can't intake the air. " Tomoyo, precious. Calm down. Calm down. Look at me--."
She shook her head ferociously. He forcefully drew her chin to face him. She pleaded for him to do something. His heart broke. She looked at him. Unable to breathe, unable to speak, but her eyes were still alert with brimming tears. " Tomoyo!"
His alarming cry brought hundreds of the guests to his attention. The footsteps of four people weaved in and out of the crowd that now surrounded the fallen victim and the boy in panic.
" Tomoyo!" both Sakura and Eriol yelled simultaneously.
Sakura took hold of the situation. " Kaho! Get a hold of the hospital. Li, go call for Aunt Sonomi. The rest of you guys: Thank you for coming, but this gathering has been abruptly cut short. I wish you all to best during these happy holidays."
Sakura's final words sent the all visitors curiously gathering their belongings and heading for home.
" Honey, baby, look at me. You've still some breath in you. Calm down and more air will be able to make its ways to your lungs. Someone go get me a cold washcloth, dammit!"
Kai scrambled from his position of holding Tomoyo to find that "damn" washcloth. In his place, Eriol substituted. Beads of sweat held on her brow. Eyes dulling and wandering, her clenched fists bared into her palm. She focused on Sakura as Sakura muttered a charm. Eriol held her tight calming her from her struggling. With Sakura still holding Tomoyo's hand, she and Eriol muttered little incantations in unison.
Eriol stopped as Sakura went on. He was afraid. He was panicking, but he refuses to show it. He was always in control. Always. No one could break him, thus, but he couldn't deny the uncontrollable dread that brewed within. What happens if she didn't make it through this? He didn't even want to think of such things. As if by a twist of fate, as he thought of how she would come out of this setting, his train of thoughts was interrupted when the hand he held loosened its grip. Her refined hand rested against his own emotionless and her head of silk hair slumped against his chest.
Without thought, he brought her impassive body closer to his own and cradled her fretfully. He hysterically whispered her name over and over again lest she was able to hear him. He lifted her body slightly so her lolling head rested upon the crook of his shoulder as he whispered, " Tomoyo, dear one. How will I go on without your support? Come back."
[A/N: Meh. this chapter was probably confusing. If you got any questions just put it in a review and I'll post my reasons next chapter.]