Chapter 9: Regretting Time
Spring came with the utmost speed. The chilling rains ceased its mournful rampage and the frosting snow concluded its last fall.
Frost disintegrated from the barren floors and all that was once green came back. Trees retained its waxy leaves and flowers flourished in gardens blooming their faces to the sky, welcoming the warmth of the sun.
All was well as Mother Nature intended it to be during the salvation of spring. All was well except for one thing.
One flower, however, had not the strength to stand tall to the nourishment of the sun and the goodness spring brought to her. The little plum blossom was wilting despite the healthiness of all the other flowers about her. She was dying.
The worst realization was that she knew. She knew she was dying. Even if she could not stand to her full height, she kept her head to the sky. To capture what she could before she passed into another world where she could no longer do so.
She accepted this. She kept her knowing to herself regardless of how much her loved ones tried to hide it from her. She knew, though.
She always knew.
We are all dying from the start. Some of us just step up and meet it before others do.
_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_
The ceremony went well. They pledged their vows to each other and showed the world the love they felt for one another. Sealing their vows, they ended with a doting kiss. She met his eyes and a sense of happiness showered him. She was his.
He would love her until the day he died. Unto that, he promised.
He was complete now.
Completeness... he thought he knew what that meant. Why is it that he did not feel complete? A hollow emptiness still resided within him. It gnawed at his curiosity and his conscious.
He jolted from his thoughts.
" Eriol, the limo is waiting!" She giggled.
He recognized that he and his new wife still stood at the alter amidst the shouting and whistling among friends and family. He squeezed her hand and returned his famous smirk.
" What are we waiting for?"
They ran down the aisle hand in hand as those who attended the wedding bombarded them with showers among showers of rice and flowers.
When finally reaching the car door, he opened it for his bride and slipped into the car.
_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_
At the reception....
" Sakura! Hey! It's nice to see you again!"
" Eriol!" She ran to him dragging the ever so reluctant Li behind her.
He gave her a friendly embrace and questioned how well she's been since they last met back in Tomoeda.
" Wow, look at you, Eriol. Tomoyo would be so happy to see you all grown up."
" What do you mean?" His smile starting to falter.
" Haven't you noticed?" Sakura cocked an eyebrow.
" Tomoyo... where is she?" He seemed half panic and half disappointed.
Sakura was reluctant to answer. She gulped and swallowed back what looked to be tears.
It appeared an eternity before Syaoran said it himself. " She's not coming."
" What?! Why not?" His shout rang audible to the table next to his.
He bent down and lowered his voice to a hiss. " What do you mean?!"
Syaoran looked away not meeting Eriol's gaze. Sakura tugged his sleeve and whispered.
" She's not well."
" What... how-how unwell are we talking?"
Sakura looked at her hands with downcast eyes. " Not well at all."
Eriol sat straight in his chair. For what seemed like the rest of the night, Eriol didn't speak much at all.
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" Do you have to leave so soon, Eriol?"
" I'm sorry, Kaho. Work calls. I'll be back as soon as I can." He beamed and gave her a quick kiss.
" One day into our marriage and you're already leaving me." She sarcastically stated.
" As soon as I get back, we're going on a three month honeymoon."
" Oh alright."
Eriol looked at his wristwatch. " Oye must be off, dear." He gave her another quick kiss and carried his luggage out the door.
_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_
A creak was heard.
Kai abruptly turned his head to see who was at the door.
" Eriol?! I thought you were on your honeymoon!"
" Is she ok? What's going on?"
Kai looked at Tomoyo's sleeping form on the bed. He heaved a worrisome sigh.
" She's not well, Eriol. She's very sick."
" Have you taken her to the doctors?"
" Yes."
" What did they say about it?"
" ... Just to take her medicine, I guess."
" What is it?"
" What do u mean? What's what?"
" I'm no fool, Kai. You're not telling me something. I get that enough from Tomoyo. I don't need you making it any worse."
He strode to her bedside and sat on the mattress. His hand crept to meet her cold hands. He studied her with extreme concentration.
Her mind was closed to his. She wouldn't let him in. Once again, he was left outside her wall.
" Why are you here?" Eriol looked at Kai who still sat on the chair facing the window. " What do you want, Eriol?"
" I want the truth. Will you be the first to tell me what on earth is going on?"
" I am bound to Tomoyo's promise. I can't tell you what you wish me to inform you of."
" I will find out sooner or later. Tell me... is this bad news? Is something terribly wrong with her?"
Kai refused to answer. He just stared blankly back at Eriol.
He looked back out the window and changed the subject entirely. " She's been calling for you, you know."
He gripped the chair rest jealously. " She calls for in the day and calls for you during her sleep. She wanted to come to your wedding."
Eriol looked up from the remote hand he held. " Why didn't you guys come?"
" She can barely climb down the stairs anymore."
" Can't...? H-How come?"
" If you haven't realized the answer to that question by now, you truly are as dense as much as you deny it."
Eriol mused at the spring waves crashing on the shores from his view through the western window.
The sun was setting and people could be seen walking the shores hand in hand.
The silence consumed both of them.
Soon, though, Kai stood up and straightened his suit.
" Are you going to be here for a while?"
Eriol nodded silently.
" I'm going to go back to work. Sonomi would be here in an hour, but I'll call her and tell her she does not need to come today. You see, we shift work hours to see that someone always watches over Tomoyo. Since you're here, though, I trust you can take care of her?"
" Of course."
" Alright then. If anything happens, give me a call. My number is speed dial 2 on her phone over there. I'll be back tomorrow afternoon." He pointed at the cordless that lay still on the coffee table next to Tomoyo's bed. He brushed his hand through his ruffled sepia hair and sauntered over to Tomoyo's bedside.
He nudged his way across from Eriol and bent down to Tomoyo's sleeping form and kissed her forehead. He whispered in her ear. " Hold on, love."
Kai stood upright and turned to face Eriol. He nodded in Eriol's direction and made his way to the door.
Eriol watched fixedly at Kai to make sure he had left the room before he scooted himself closer to Tomoyo and with both hands brought her limp hand to his lips.
It was torture.
Tomoyo wasn't supposed to be like this.
He always knew her as the encouraging innocent who liked to run in the endless meadows of wildflowers and hide in the apple orchards at the ranch they stayed in during mid-spring.
Where was the sun-bearer? He could not bear to watch the lifeless moon on the bed before him.
He slid off his shoes and slowly lifted the layers of bed sheets she was immersed in. It was cold in her room. When everywhere else was filled with the heat of summer's beginning, Tomoyo's room was the only place in the world that was untouched and desolate with ice.
The room itself was filled with a barrenness that highly disturbed Eriol.
It was all so wrong.
Slipping himself under the same covers that clothed her, he rested his head against her arm and wrapped his arms around her waist. A sudden missing came to recognition.
He missed her so. It has been too long. Last time he remembered sleeping on the same bed with her was the year of the fourteenth. She had been afraid of the summer storm thunders and he found her huddled in the corner. Naturally, he told her the story of the little hobbit that carried the fate of the world on a chain around his neck. She loved that one the most. It wasn't long before he, too, drifted to slumber with her.
Now he finds himself the way they were two years ago and he finally realizes how much he missed her and the times they shared together. She made his childhood significant because she was there to help him shape it.
Thanks to her, he now had frozen moments he could look back on and cherish.
He was filled with regret. He wished he could freeze time. Go back to better days and stay frozen in time. He wished he never grew up. Eighteen already made him feel so old. Time flew by so quickly. He felt tension build around his eyes.
He felt a wet tear slip from his eye. He pressed his face harder into the sleeve of her cotton shirt until he apprehended that his glasses were in the way.
He lightly slipped them off and placed them on the coffee table.
" Eriol." He rotated himself back to Tomoyo to find her talking in her sleep. " Eriol?.... Eriol..." She shifted herself onto her side. The side that faced him.
He made himself comfortable and laid there staring at her peaceful, angelic face. He cuddled himself closer to her. He continued his clutch on her waist and rested his vulnerable head against the crook of her neck.
He felt her heart beating steadily and her breathing rhythmic. He was the closest he'd been to her for the last two years and the yearning for more aggravated his nerves. The "home-like" feeling her aura emitted made his inner-self at peace. He laid by her side until his breathing grew cadenced with her and the beating of his heart danced with hers.
Time past and the last breath of sunlight hung in the air.
It wasn't he felt struggle and heart the wheezing did he abruptly wake up to find strife at his footsteps.
Spring came with the utmost speed. The chilling rains ceased its mournful rampage and the frosting snow concluded its last fall.
Frost disintegrated from the barren floors and all that was once green came back. Trees retained its waxy leaves and flowers flourished in gardens blooming their faces to the sky, welcoming the warmth of the sun.
All was well as Mother Nature intended it to be during the salvation of spring. All was well except for one thing.
One flower, however, had not the strength to stand tall to the nourishment of the sun and the goodness spring brought to her. The little plum blossom was wilting despite the healthiness of all the other flowers about her. She was dying.
The worst realization was that she knew. She knew she was dying. Even if she could not stand to her full height, she kept her head to the sky. To capture what she could before she passed into another world where she could no longer do so.
She accepted this. She kept her knowing to herself regardless of how much her loved ones tried to hide it from her. She knew, though.
She always knew.
We are all dying from the start. Some of us just step up and meet it before others do.
_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_
The ceremony went well. They pledged their vows to each other and showed the world the love they felt for one another. Sealing their vows, they ended with a doting kiss. She met his eyes and a sense of happiness showered him. She was his.
He would love her until the day he died. Unto that, he promised.
He was complete now.
Completeness... he thought he knew what that meant. Why is it that he did not feel complete? A hollow emptiness still resided within him. It gnawed at his curiosity and his conscious.
He jolted from his thoughts.
" Eriol, the limo is waiting!" She giggled.
He recognized that he and his new wife still stood at the alter amidst the shouting and whistling among friends and family. He squeezed her hand and returned his famous smirk.
" What are we waiting for?"
They ran down the aisle hand in hand as those who attended the wedding bombarded them with showers among showers of rice and flowers.
When finally reaching the car door, he opened it for his bride and slipped into the car.
_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_
At the reception....
" Sakura! Hey! It's nice to see you again!"
" Eriol!" She ran to him dragging the ever so reluctant Li behind her.
He gave her a friendly embrace and questioned how well she's been since they last met back in Tomoeda.
" Wow, look at you, Eriol. Tomoyo would be so happy to see you all grown up."
" What do you mean?" His smile starting to falter.
" Haven't you noticed?" Sakura cocked an eyebrow.
" Tomoyo... where is she?" He seemed half panic and half disappointed.
Sakura was reluctant to answer. She gulped and swallowed back what looked to be tears.
It appeared an eternity before Syaoran said it himself. " She's not coming."
" What?! Why not?" His shout rang audible to the table next to his.
He bent down and lowered his voice to a hiss. " What do you mean?!"
Syaoran looked away not meeting Eriol's gaze. Sakura tugged his sleeve and whispered.
" She's not well."
" What... how-how unwell are we talking?"
Sakura looked at her hands with downcast eyes. " Not well at all."
Eriol sat straight in his chair. For what seemed like the rest of the night, Eriol didn't speak much at all.
_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_
" Do you have to leave so soon, Eriol?"
" I'm sorry, Kaho. Work calls. I'll be back as soon as I can." He beamed and gave her a quick kiss.
" One day into our marriage and you're already leaving me." She sarcastically stated.
" As soon as I get back, we're going on a three month honeymoon."
" Oh alright."
Eriol looked at his wristwatch. " Oye must be off, dear." He gave her another quick kiss and carried his luggage out the door.
_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_
A creak was heard.
Kai abruptly turned his head to see who was at the door.
" Eriol?! I thought you were on your honeymoon!"
" Is she ok? What's going on?"
Kai looked at Tomoyo's sleeping form on the bed. He heaved a worrisome sigh.
" She's not well, Eriol. She's very sick."
" Have you taken her to the doctors?"
" Yes."
" What did they say about it?"
" ... Just to take her medicine, I guess."
" What is it?"
" What do u mean? What's what?"
" I'm no fool, Kai. You're not telling me something. I get that enough from Tomoyo. I don't need you making it any worse."
He strode to her bedside and sat on the mattress. His hand crept to meet her cold hands. He studied her with extreme concentration.
Her mind was closed to his. She wouldn't let him in. Once again, he was left outside her wall.
" Why are you here?" Eriol looked at Kai who still sat on the chair facing the window. " What do you want, Eriol?"
" I want the truth. Will you be the first to tell me what on earth is going on?"
" I am bound to Tomoyo's promise. I can't tell you what you wish me to inform you of."
" I will find out sooner or later. Tell me... is this bad news? Is something terribly wrong with her?"
Kai refused to answer. He just stared blankly back at Eriol.
He looked back out the window and changed the subject entirely. " She's been calling for you, you know."
He gripped the chair rest jealously. " She calls for in the day and calls for you during her sleep. She wanted to come to your wedding."
Eriol looked up from the remote hand he held. " Why didn't you guys come?"
" She can barely climb down the stairs anymore."
" Can't...? H-How come?"
" If you haven't realized the answer to that question by now, you truly are as dense as much as you deny it."
Eriol mused at the spring waves crashing on the shores from his view through the western window.
The sun was setting and people could be seen walking the shores hand in hand.
The silence consumed both of them.
Soon, though, Kai stood up and straightened his suit.
" Are you going to be here for a while?"
Eriol nodded silently.
" I'm going to go back to work. Sonomi would be here in an hour, but I'll call her and tell her she does not need to come today. You see, we shift work hours to see that someone always watches over Tomoyo. Since you're here, though, I trust you can take care of her?"
" Of course."
" Alright then. If anything happens, give me a call. My number is speed dial 2 on her phone over there. I'll be back tomorrow afternoon." He pointed at the cordless that lay still on the coffee table next to Tomoyo's bed. He brushed his hand through his ruffled sepia hair and sauntered over to Tomoyo's bedside.
He nudged his way across from Eriol and bent down to Tomoyo's sleeping form and kissed her forehead. He whispered in her ear. " Hold on, love."
Kai stood upright and turned to face Eriol. He nodded in Eriol's direction and made his way to the door.
Eriol watched fixedly at Kai to make sure he had left the room before he scooted himself closer to Tomoyo and with both hands brought her limp hand to his lips.
It was torture.
Tomoyo wasn't supposed to be like this.
He always knew her as the encouraging innocent who liked to run in the endless meadows of wildflowers and hide in the apple orchards at the ranch they stayed in during mid-spring.
Where was the sun-bearer? He could not bear to watch the lifeless moon on the bed before him.
He slid off his shoes and slowly lifted the layers of bed sheets she was immersed in. It was cold in her room. When everywhere else was filled with the heat of summer's beginning, Tomoyo's room was the only place in the world that was untouched and desolate with ice.
The room itself was filled with a barrenness that highly disturbed Eriol.
It was all so wrong.
Slipping himself under the same covers that clothed her, he rested his head against her arm and wrapped his arms around her waist. A sudden missing came to recognition.
He missed her so. It has been too long. Last time he remembered sleeping on the same bed with her was the year of the fourteenth. She had been afraid of the summer storm thunders and he found her huddled in the corner. Naturally, he told her the story of the little hobbit that carried the fate of the world on a chain around his neck. She loved that one the most. It wasn't long before he, too, drifted to slumber with her.
Now he finds himself the way they were two years ago and he finally realizes how much he missed her and the times they shared together. She made his childhood significant because she was there to help him shape it.
Thanks to her, he now had frozen moments he could look back on and cherish.
He was filled with regret. He wished he could freeze time. Go back to better days and stay frozen in time. He wished he never grew up. Eighteen already made him feel so old. Time flew by so quickly. He felt tension build around his eyes.
He felt a wet tear slip from his eye. He pressed his face harder into the sleeve of her cotton shirt until he apprehended that his glasses were in the way.
He lightly slipped them off and placed them on the coffee table.
" Eriol." He rotated himself back to Tomoyo to find her talking in her sleep. " Eriol?.... Eriol..." She shifted herself onto her side. The side that faced him.
He made himself comfortable and laid there staring at her peaceful, angelic face. He cuddled himself closer to her. He continued his clutch on her waist and rested his vulnerable head against the crook of her neck.
He felt her heart beating steadily and her breathing rhythmic. He was the closest he'd been to her for the last two years and the yearning for more aggravated his nerves. The "home-like" feeling her aura emitted made his inner-self at peace. He laid by her side until his breathing grew cadenced with her and the beating of his heart danced with hers.
Time past and the last breath of sunlight hung in the air.
It wasn't he felt struggle and heart the wheezing did he abruptly wake up to find strife at his footsteps.