Chapter 17 Don't Be

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'Don't be.'

Her words played over in Sesshoumaru's mind, and they confused him.

Kagome told him not to be sorry. What had she meant by that? It was all too confusing. He couldn't really understand why she'd turned away, either. . . he thought she had wanted to kiss him. He felt a little hurt, and he was also scared he'd made some huge mistake. What would working with her be like now? They still had to see each other, and truthfully, he wanted Kagome to be around for a long time. Would she act strange? Were they still friends?

Sesshoumaru walked slowly back over to the couch and stared at her abandoned wine glass. Her lipstick was still on the rim. And why was he noticing all of this? Why did she suddenly seem important to have around? Was he. . . ? No. . . not this soon. And why get his hopes up? She turned him down, anyway.

But still, he was sad. He was too confused by her words to feel rejected, though. . . "Don't be. . . " it was almost as if, she had wanted to kiss him, but something was holding her back. . . no. . . some*one*.

InuYasha, perhaps?

Maybe she was just confused, herself. After all, it hadn't been that long since she and InuYasha ended what they'd had. . . Was she still getting over him, perhaps? Women did take sex very seriously. Not that Sesshoumaru disagreed. Sex could get you into a lot of trouble. But InuYasha didn't seem to think so. Even out of anger, how could the baka had ever implied that Kagome was some sort of. . .

Well, because he was a baka.

She was too good for the boy, anyhow, and Sesshoumaru hoped she realized it.

Sesshoumaru stopped thinking about her needs, for a moment, and began to look at his own. What did he need from her? Nothing. . .

. . . but what did he *want* from her? Passion, he admitted to himself. Passion, and love. Friendship. She listened to him. She respected him, and he even suspected she understood him.

It was funny how everything happened so quickly. At first, she had annoyed him. He had just assumed her to be like the rest of them. Selfish, uncaring, with no ambition. But then she had walked into his office that day, and everything had changed. He grew respect for her. Would he have read her novel if he would've known it was she who wrote it? He didn't want to think about it. . . But either way, he was glad he had decided to edit her novel. He thought Ito Hanyou to be brilliant. That's why he had been shocked to discover that this had been the same girl who had slept with his brother. But now, he didn't think of her as such. She was Kagome. Kagome the novelist. Kagome, his friend. Kagome, a beautiful young woman. . . who may look remarkably similar to Kikyou, but wasn't. . . so why should he be afraid to fall for her?

He was surprised to find that he wasn't. He already had. And so quickly, too.

No one had ever wanted to know about his mother before. She's the first person who'd ever asked him questions and really wanted to know the answers.

Sesshoumaru picked up his glass of wine, only to find that he'd drank it all already. So, he set his down, and picked up Kagome's, downing the last few sips, before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, and shutting the lamp off, shrouding the living room in darkness.

He didn't want to think about it anymore. He left for his bed to get some sleep, but would later find that he couldn't sleep at all.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Kagome awoke the next morning, slowly. The first person she thought of was Sesshoumaru. The first emotion she felt was loneliness. Then embarrassment. And then, she was kicking herself for not kissing him the night before. She knew she had come to some drunken conclusion of why she didn't want to be with him, because she didn't want to hurt him, but she realized that, she would never forgive herself if she didn't at least try. Why didn't she just try? She had known she wasn't happy with Kouga, but knew she would be happier with InuYasha, so she had done something about it. So why didn't she do anything about it now?

She lay on her side, and stared at her hand that lay parallel to her face. She tried to imagine Sesshoumaru's sleeping face in it's place. It was a nice thought. A very nice fantasy.

She bit her lip. What she really wanted to do was go back to him, throw her arms around him, and kiss him. She had come so close last night! Why? "Kagome no baka. . . " she whispered to herself. Why hadn't she just done it?!

She had chickened out, she knew. She had gotten scared, and fled. She wanted what Miroku and Sango had. And it had been there last night, staring her in the face and yelling, "Hello?! Take me! I'm right here!" But she hadn't taken it. . . and what if she never got another chance to get it back?

She sighed. She needed a friend. A good friend. She needed some advice.

She got up, and knocked on Miroku's door. There was no answer, so she knocked louder, and heard a grunt. She took it as "come in" and entered. Miroku was sprawled on his stomach, the sheets half covering him.

She went over and sat down beside him. She smiled at his form and shook her head slightly. She brushed some disheveled hair off his forehead, and he rolled over, and opened his eyes a little to look at her. He gave her a tiny smile. "Whuddisit?"

"I need a friend."

"This early?"

She hit him. "Yes! Move over."

"Wha time is it?"

"About 6:30."

He groaned. "What's wrong?"

She crawled in beside him, and he put an arm around her shoulders, and she felt a little better. It took a little of the edge off the loneliness. . . a little. "Last night. . . Sesshoumaru almost kissed me. . ."

"Almost?"

"Yeah. . . but I turned away. And now I'm kicking myself."

"Why'd you go and do that?"

"Because. . . I didn't want to end up hurting him, like I did with Kouga and InuYasha." "But, Kouga and InuYasha weren't the right guys for you. How do you know Sesshoumaru isn't?"

"I dunno. . . I know. It was stupid to do. What should I do, Miroku?"

"Go to him, I guess. Kiss him. Tell him you were having complicated emotions last night."

"Think it wouldn't be stupid?"

"Nope. That's what I would want if I were him. He's clearly not going to try to kiss you again, so now you have to make a move."

Kagome considered his advice. "When should I do it?"

"No time like the present."

"No, what if he's asleep?"

"Shouldn't matter. It'll make it all the more surprising. Think about it. . . the longer you wait, the more he'll start to forget about it. And you'll be regretting it. Things will get awkward. . . but if you do it soon, and tell him you've changed your mind, and you *forget* about InuYasha, and Kouga, and you just focus on *him*. . . I think things will turn out well."

Kagome looked up at him. "You know, something?"

"Hm?" he asked, his eyes closed.

"You give good advice when you're half asleep."

"So you're gonna do it?" he asked a little hopefully, his eyes opening.

"Yes!"

"Well, it's about time, dammit!"

"Huh?" Kagome was confused at his wakefulness now.

"Sango and I have been saying that it's about time you two tell each other how you feel! It's been so damn obvious, and we've been dying from the anticipation."

Kagome sat up and gaped at him, then smacked his arm. "Why didn't you guys say anything?!"

Miroku rolled back on his stomach with a smile. "We decided not to step in unless one of you did something stupid. And now that one of you has, I say go to him, NOW!"

Kagome leapt from the bed, then quickly leaned over to kiss Miroku on the cheek. "Thank you, Miroku!" she yelled as she ran to her room to throw on some clothes and a little makeup, to at least look presentable.

She ran out of the apartment, leapt in her car, and in the early morning light, began the longest drive of her life.

Back in his room, Miroku chuckled, then reached over to grab the phone off his night stand and call Sango.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sesshoumaru had moved back into the living room around 2:00 in the morning, and he was still there at 7:00, on the couch, brooding over Kagome.

Why was this bothering him so much? Why did he want her so much?

Maybe he should call her, tell her how he feels. . . he grabbed the phone, and got up, pacing the floor. He stopped, looked at the phone in his hand, then started up again.

Then someone was knocking frantically on his door.

Still holding the phone, Sesshoumaru opened the door to find Kagome herself there on his doorstep.

Well, calling her was out of the question.

He gave her a questioning look. "Why are you here?" The question wasn't rude; it was confused.

"To do something I should've done last night." No sooner were the words out of her mouth when she threw her arms around him and kissed him.

He dropped the phone.

Once their lips touched, they didn't part for a long time. He wrapped his arms around her happily, and couldn't help but smile as his tired mind slowly realized what was happening.

His dreams were complete. All of his goals had now been reached, and he was finally. . . happy.

Never breaking their kiss, he picked her up and swung her around, and she made a squeal of surprise.

When he set her down, she pulled back, and leaned her forehead against his, and they were both laughing. "I'm. . ." she tried to speak between giggles. "I'm sorry. . . about last night, I wasn't -"

He kissed her then, cutting off her words. "Don't worry about it. You sure made up for it."

She laughed, and hugged him. "I'm glad I did."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

By 7:45, they were on the couch.

Kagome lounged beside Sesshoumaru, her arms hanging on his shoulder every now and then, as they talked, and, well, mostly kissed.

"What made you change your mind?" Sesshoumaru asked her. "What happened last night?"

"Last night. . . " Kagome sighed. "I got scared, I guess. I fled. All I could think about were Kouga and InuYasha, and how I hurt them by changing my mind. I didn't want to end up hurting you that way." she touched his face. " But when I woke up this morning, I don't know, everything made sense, and I was kicking myself for running away from you. So I went to Miroku, and asked him for advice."

"And what did he tell you?"

"He told me to do exactly what I did."

"You know, I could tell he was an intelligent man. . . "

Kagome chuckled and kissed Sesshoumaru again. The kiss stayed sweet for a moment, then grew deeper, into something they shouldn't be getting into with a six year old in the house, Kagome reminded herself. . .

"I knew you liked her!"

Exactly.

Sesshoumaru and Kagome pulled apart immediately at the sound of Rin's voice. "Rin!" Sesshoumaru exclaimed, his face flushing, "Wha. . . what are you doing up?"

"I had to go to the bathroom. Kagome! You're back! Why, though?"

"Er. . . I, uh. . . " Kagome thought quickly, "I forgot something here last night. I left my purse."

Rin considered it, them deemed it a sensible excuse, and shrugged.

Sesshoumaru sighed with relief at Kagome's save, and shot her a thankful look.

Rin yawned, only half awake. She turned to walk back into her room, and said over her shoulder, "Kagome, it's okay if you kiss Daddy. I don't mind."

Both Kagome and Sesshoumaru's eyes bugged with surprise, and they looked at each other, dumbfounded, then burst into laughter. Sesshouamru pulled her into a hug, and they didn't part until their chuckles died down. Sesshoumaru looked at her, still smiling. "Tell me, Kagome. . . how long are you going to be around?"

Kagome took his hand in hers, and entwined their fingers. "As long as you want me to be."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Later that day at work, nothing could shoot down Kagome's high spirits. Sango noticed immediately.

"Kagome. . . what's gotten into you? That meeting with Sesshoumaru must have gone well."

Kagome's face brightened at the mention of Sesshoumaru's name. "Yeah. . . well. . . " she said, secretly.

"What happened?!" Sango asked as if she were in anguish. "I'm DYING from suspense, here!"

"Well. . . we kissed. . . and decided we want to be together. . . that's all. . . " Kagome said in an airy voice, her cheeks blushing and her eyes shining.

"'That's all?!'" Sango asked incredulously. "What do you mean, 'that's all?!' That's GREAT! It's about time!"

"Sango, it's hardly been a month!"

"Yeah, well, it's hardly been one month too long! Geez, maybe you'll finally settle down this time, huh?"

Kagome's eyes widened, as she smiled sheepishly. "Well. . . I dunno. . . hopefully. . . "

"Ladies and gentlemen, she's speechless!" came Miroku's voice behind them. "I'm guessing it went well?"

Kagome got up from her seat and hugged Miroku; she hadn't seen him since she left the apartment. "You've always been my best friend, Miroku." she said in his ear. "Thank you for helping me out, today."

He hugged her back with a grin at Sango. "No problem."

"Oh, I forgot," Kagome said suddenly, pulling back from Miroku. "When did you guys plan the wedding for?"

"The winter!" Miroku replied. "We're going to pick the most beautiful snow day and have it then."

"That sounds wonderful. . . " Kagome sighed.

"Having ideas of your own?" Sango joked.

"Hey! No marriage jokes, yet, please!"

"All right, all right. . . " Miroku said innocently. But in a split second, a sly grin was on his face. "But. . . wouldn't it be something. . . to have a double-wedding?" He then proceeded to wiggle his eyebrows at her.

Kagome turned red and smacked him on the arm. "No!"

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Hehehe. . . hey! Wasn't that a great chappie?! The next should be even better!!!!!!!!! Ch. 18 coming soooooooon!!!!!!!!!!

Love you guys! Thanks lots for the reviews!

Honey Bee