Chapter 20
Dinner With All The Tokunawas
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Kagome showered and changed into her new yellow dress. She was nervous about dinner. What would they think of her? What would they think about the love triangle between Sesshoumaru, InuYasha, and herself, if they ever found out? Kagome looked at herself in the mirror, then down at her hands.
They would think she was a gold-digger.
She sighed and prayed. Hopefully everything would just go smoothly.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
InuYasha didn't bother with a tux. A white dress shirt and black slacks would do; he didn't care how much his family insisted on formal dress code.
He stood at the bottom of the stairs, reluctant to go into the dining room. When some servants walked by, he pretended to be fiddling with the cuffs of his sleeves; but really, he was just buying time.
He heard someone descending the stairs, and looked up to see Sesshoumaru. . . in a tux. InuYasha bit the inside of his cheek self-consciously. Maybe he should go change. 'No, baka,' he told himself. Barely catching his half- brother's eye, he turned his attentions once again to his cuffs.
Sesshoumaru just stood there, and InuYasha glanced up at him quickly to see why. His eyes were at the top of the stairs. . .
Kagome.
He was waiting on her.
InuYasha was caught between seeing Kagome descend those stairs elegantly, and straight into his brother's arms, or leaving already to go walk through those dining room doors and into the eighth circle of hell a little early.
He opted for the latter. It would be less painful than the first.
As he took his first step to leave, he heard the soft tap of heels on marble.
It was like watching a scary movie. You didn't want to look. . . but you had to.
His eyes flicked up to the top of the stairs, and he froze. She was wearing yellow. . . did she know how beautiful she looked in the color, or was she doing this to him on purpose?
Or was it all for Sesshoumaru?
He watched her as she flowed gracefully down the stairs, keeping her gaze and her smile on Sesshoumaru the whole time.
When she reached him, she put her arm through his, and whispered something into his ear. Though it was very low, InuYasha could still hear her words. "I've always wanted to do that." she said. Sesshoumaru smiled and laughed, and InuYasha felt as if he were intruding.
Swallowing tightly, his started ahead of them, and walked quickly.
When he stepped through the dining room doors, it was already filling up. There were at least thirty people there; his aunts, uncles, and cousins, all of them displaying cheap smiles, most of them already drinking glasses of brandy.
Many greeted him with a handshake, and all he heard was "I'm so sorry," and "He was a good man."
InuYasha just clenched his jaw and attempted some kind of a smile, nodding instead of talking. He had a feeling if he spoke, his words wouldn't be polite enough for family.
He wove his way through more aunts, glittering with their designer dresses and heavy jewelry, their expensive perfumes making the air seem too toxic to breathe.
He found his card with his name at the table, and took his seat, receiving pats on the shoulder as more uncles walked by, most of them his mother's brothers.
InuYasha just stared ahead, trying not to pass out, or something worse.
His seat was the last seat next to his mother's at the very end of the table. He was wondering where she was, when he heard someone clear their throat beside him. He turned to see a green dress, and as he looked up its length, it was his mother herself the dress belonged to.
He stood up when his mind registered her face, and he hugged her, noticing how her blue eyes were sparkling sadly. "Mama," he whispered, so no one else could hear, forgetting he was a 25 year old young man.
She stifled a sob, and squeezed him tightly. Then, her chest quivering, she drew herself back, and looked at him, recovering her posture. She said nothing, but gave him faltering smile, and motioned for them to sit down. Remembering his manners, he quickly stepped up to pull out her chair, then seated himself when she was settled in.
He kept his eyes on her. She was still beautiful, though she had aged some. And she still looked so sad; even more so now that her husband was gone.
Unable to help himself, he put a hand on her shoulder. She looked at him in surprise, then forced a smile, and returned her eyes to her plate in front of her.
He heard Kagome's voice then, right across the table from him. ". . . there are seating arrangements. You're here." she was telling Sesshoumaru, who was seated across from InuYasha's mother, "And I'm. . . "
He looked up to see her staring at the card at the seat in front of him. Her eyes flicked up to his, and she gave him a small smile, then seated herself across from him.
InuYasha could only stare at her, an eyebrow twitching. 'So this is what hell is like.'
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Kagome was laughing hysterically inside at the irony of the entire situation. Was praying not enough? Or was this family really that bad?
She kept her eyes averted from InuYasha, and turned towards Sesshoumaru, making small talk with him. She was not in a good mood; she couldn't forget why they were there. Sesshoumaru seemed like he was trying to pretend. He smiled only slightly.
She could not look at InuYasha. He still had longing swirling around in those golden eyes of his, and on top of that, he was preparing to attend his father's funeral the next day. She didn't want to make things worse for him by reminding him of problems back at work. Although, she knew her mere presence was doing that already.
Dinner went by tensely and uneventfully, and while she was picking small bites out of her dessert, she remembered agreeing to be friends with InuYasha at the engagement party. What had happened to that? Then she knew. It was now impossible for them to be friends. Sesshoumaru would get suspicious, and InuYasha would just want her more.
Oblivious to everyone else around her, Kagome still sat, trying to figure things out, until Sesshoumaru's hand on her shoulder brought her back.
She looked up at him and smiled, an everything's-fine-with-me smile, and he smirked in return.
"This is Higurashi Kagome," he was telling an auburn-haired woman with beep blue eyes. The woman looked sad; even the smile she gave Kagome was sad, and Kagome could pick up an American accent as the woman said, "It is nice to meet you, Kagome."
Kagome gave a small smile in return and nodded, and Sesshoumaru continued. "It was rude of me to not introduce you earlier. Kagome, this is Cassandra, InuYasha's mother."
Kagome goggled at her, not knowing what to say. She then gulped, trying to think of something, but Cassandra just smiled turned away when someone down the table spoke her name.
Kagome bit her lip and looked at Sesshoumaru. The chair across from her scraped the floor suddenly, and Kagome looked up to see InuYasha exiting the dining room.
She was actually wishing she and Sesshoumaru were back at her apartment watching a movie, instead of mingling at a dinner party with the upper- class.
She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, and Sesshoumaru took her hand and whispered in her ear. "We can leave now."
Relieved at the news, she stood to leave, Sesshoumaru right behind her.
Cassandra looked up at their movement, and Kagome gave her a small smile and nodded her goodbye, surprised when Cassandra gave her one in return.
Sesshouamru lead her out of the dining room, and her shoulders immediately relaxed at being alone with him again. She followed him, unaware of where he was leading her, until they took the stairs and entered a large library on the second floor. There was a balcony who's doors were slightly ajar, giving the room just enough chill to balance out the heat coming from the fire in the large fireplace.
She sat down thankfully on a couch in front of the fire, and Sesshoumaru sat down beside her. "Well. . . " he said. "We got through the first night. Only two more to go, then we'll be out of this hell."
She leaned her head on his shoulder. "It's kind of ironic, don't you think?"
"What is?"
"That the nicer places are the worst places."
"Yes. I see what you mean."
"This house; it's beautiful. It's like a. . . fairy tale place, I don't know. But with the funeral, and your family. . ."
Sesshoumaru made a noise that almost sounded like a laugh. "Exactly."
She shivered a little when the wind outside blew the doors open wider. Sesshoumaru got up and shut them, then returned to Kagome and put an arm around her shoulders. She snuggled into him reflexively. She was quiet, and he shifted, then asked, "Kagome, is something bothering you?"
She sighed. "I can't keep anything from you, can I?"
"No," he said, squeezing her affectionately. "Now tell me."
"It's. . . InuYasha. He's still. . . "
Sesshoumaru looked at her, his eyebrows raised.
She continued. "I think he's still in love with me. . . it's all been so awkward. And it didn't help that we were seated right across from one another tonight."
"Do you. . ." Sesshoumaru trailed off hesitantly, as if he were considering his next question very carefully. "Do you still have feelings for him? You can be honest." he added softly.
"I. . . I don't know. I really don't think so. It was just a sexual attraction. I. . . any feelings I have for him now are purely non-romantic. I really feel sorry for him. . . he seems so sad, now. Like his mother. Did you notice that? How sad she seems?"
"She's always been that way. Even when Father was alive."
"I wonder what happened to her. . . "
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
InuYasha sat at the desk in his father's study once again, the photo album in front of him, and his head in his hands. He stared at the photo of his father, Sesshoumaru, and himself. He wiped at his tired eyes, and ran a hand through his hair. Was this where everything got worse. . . ?
"InuYasha?"
His mother's soft voice made him look up to see her standing in the doorway. "Oh, hey, Mom," he said, his voice breaking a little.
"You left dinner so abruptly. Was something bothering you?"
He considered telling her for a moment, about Kagome, but decided against it. Instead, he replied, "The room seemed too crowded, and stuffy. . . you know. . ."
She nodded, and motioned for him to come sit with her on a small couch near the warm fireplace.
He stood, then looked down at the album. Now was the time to ask her. He needed to know why she was so sad. . . and why there were so many pictures of Sesshoumaru's mother and hardly any of her. He brought the album with him and sat down beside her.
"What is that?" she asked curiously, slowly.
"Mom, there's, uh. . . something I want to ask you. I have a lot of questions. . . "
Her eyebrows drew together. "About what?"
He closed the photo album, then pointed to the picture on the front. She gave him a look that told him she did not understand, and he continued. "This picture. I remember this birthday party. It was one of the best I've ever had. Everyone was happy. . . but you look sad in this picture. And. . ." he flipped through to the other picture of her in the blues dress, "here, too. Why are you so sad all of the time? Ever since I can remember. . . you've always been sad."
She sat for a moment and did not look at him. Then, in a sad whisper, she asked him, "When did you find that album?"
"Today. Around lunch time, when I was cleaning the place up."
"Have you looked through the entire album? At every photo?"
InuYasha nodded, but she wasn't looking at him, so he said, "Yeah. I have."
"Then you'll have noticed that most of the pictures in there are of Sesshoumaru's mother."
"Yeah. . . I did."
She looked at her hands, her cheeks a stinging red. "Your father," she said, her voice breaking, "never stopped loving her. That's what everyone thinks. That he left her for me, because he loved me more, but. . . it's not true. He loved her more than his own life."
InuYasha took a silent moment to let her words sink in. "Then why. . . But, he loved you!" He said softly.
"Yes, he loved me. . . " she said harshly, "but not like he loved her. He loved me because he had to. . .because he grew to love me. And over time, I grew to love him."
InuYasha's chest ached. "So. . . you guys didn't get married because you were in love?"
She looked at him then, an empathetic look, and said, "It's hard to believe for a child, I know." She placed a hand on his shoulder. "But you are no longer a child. . . and it's time you knew the truth."
Realizing she was right, he put his hand over hers. "Tell me, then."
"Your father's company was at it's peak when Sesshoumaru was born. He and Elizabeth," she turned to the picture of Sesshoumaru's mother in the red dress and pointed at it, "that was her name, you remember?"
InuYasha nodded.
"He and Elizabeth were very much in love, and were very happy. They were living in luxury, and their newborn baby made the world seem a perfect place. . . " she said, turning to the old picture of the three of them. "Three years later, though," she continued, "the company was at its worst. My father owned a large company in America, and wanted a coalition with his and your father's. They could provide for each other, and benefit greatly from one another. Your father needed my father, if he wanted things to be good again, and if he did not want to lose everything he owned. So your father met him, and discussed it with him. He nearly begged him. And my father told him, he did not have to bring their companies together. He did not necessarily need your father's help. And when your father did beg him , he made him a bargain. 'If you marry my daughter, we will be partners,' he told him."
InuYasha's eyebrows drew together. When he didn't say anything, Cassandra continued. "Your father, of course, thought the idea ludicrous. He explained to him that he had a wife, and a son, whom he loved very much. But my father was a manipulative, controlling man. He didn't care. He reminded your father of how he would lose everything he owned. And he told him, if he married me, and did not keep close contact with Elizabeth, the companies would thrive.
"Well, your father turned him down at first, then later told Elizabeth of their bargain. And to his own shock, she wanted him to do it."
At this news, InuYasha looked up at his mother incredulously.
Cassandra nodded. "She wanted nothing more than for him to have everything. She didn't care about herself. He tried to convince her that there had to be some other way, but once Elizabeth made up her mind, their was no changing it. Then he brought up Sesshoumaru. She said she would take care of him. There were ways they could still see each other. And soon, your father remembered my father's words. '*Close* contact,' he had said.
"It was the hardest thing they'd ever had to do. And our marriage was a sad one. An angry one. But, no one could tell; your father and I were both very good actors."
InuYasha stared at his father's young face in the old photo. "So. . . you didn't want to marry Dad?"
"No. I hated Father for it, and I tried to hate your father, too, but. . . he was too kind. He understood, so we kept a nice friendship between us. I let him see Elizabeth, because I've always believed in true love. And they had it. But, after a year. . ." Cassandra laughed," my father started asking if there would be any 'strapping young grandsons' on the way. He was growing suspicious. So. . . we had to. . . you know. And it was awkward, because, we were friends, not lovers - "
"And that's why I'm here." InuYasha cut in with an angry whisper.
Cassandra grabbed his arm, and squeezed it so hard, she surprised InuYasha with her strength. Her voice was an equally aggressive whisper. "Don't you think for a minute that we ever regretted you. After you were born, we realized you had been worth it. You were the most precious addition we would ever have. Everything you brought to us made our lives easier."
"Then why were you still sad?" He looked at her with a spent desperation.
Cassandra looked at him and inhaled deeply. "There was a man, named Jonathan. . . back in America. He and I had been in love ever since we were eighteen. I continued to write to him. And as time went by, he told me of his new wife. . . then, his two beautiful daughters. . . " she choked a little, and covered her mouth with her hand. Her eyes were brimmed with tears. "All I could think of, was what we could've had. I was so jealous of your father for being so close to Elizabeth. . . but Jonathan was a world away."
InuYasha could only stare sullenly at the fire. "So you had it the worst."
Cassandra looked once again at her hands. "I suppose so. But," she reached up and soothed the silver hair by his ear, " you helped me to forget. I knew that I would never have a true love. . . and I've come to terms with that. And now that your father is. . . well, it really feels like losing a true love. We were more than friends, but we were not lovers. I'm sorry if it is too complicated for you to understand. It is a hard emotion to describe."
"No, Mom, I. . . I understand. I understand everything, now. But why didn't Sesshouamru know? Didn't he know they saw each other?"
Cassandra shifted. "That's were it gets even more complicated. Elizabeth was afraid of my father ever discovering about their rendezvous, so she wanted to keep it a secret, even from their only son. That way, no one would ever know."
"And that's why Dad always invited Sesshouamru over on holidays. He never stopped loving him."
Cassandra nodded. "I don't know why things had had to become so ridiculously complicated, but they just had. And the three of us managed to keep it a secret for this long."
InuYasha shook his head faintly, in awe. "How did you live that way?"
"Just barely."
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So. . . we now know the big family secret. Hmm. . . wonder how Seshie's gonna take it. . . Again, one of my faveorite chappies.
Sorry it's taken me a while to update. I got sick with the mother of all colds, and missed a day of writing. Which can put you back a surprisingly scary amount of time.
But, I noticed. . . we're not up to 200 reviews, yet. Keep reviewing, guys! I hope you'll like the news. . . *I'm* excited about it. ^_^
Ta-ta for now! Honey Bee ^_~
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Kagome showered and changed into her new yellow dress. She was nervous about dinner. What would they think of her? What would they think about the love triangle between Sesshoumaru, InuYasha, and herself, if they ever found out? Kagome looked at herself in the mirror, then down at her hands.
They would think she was a gold-digger.
She sighed and prayed. Hopefully everything would just go smoothly.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
InuYasha didn't bother with a tux. A white dress shirt and black slacks would do; he didn't care how much his family insisted on formal dress code.
He stood at the bottom of the stairs, reluctant to go into the dining room. When some servants walked by, he pretended to be fiddling with the cuffs of his sleeves; but really, he was just buying time.
He heard someone descending the stairs, and looked up to see Sesshoumaru. . . in a tux. InuYasha bit the inside of his cheek self-consciously. Maybe he should go change. 'No, baka,' he told himself. Barely catching his half- brother's eye, he turned his attentions once again to his cuffs.
Sesshoumaru just stood there, and InuYasha glanced up at him quickly to see why. His eyes were at the top of the stairs. . .
Kagome.
He was waiting on her.
InuYasha was caught between seeing Kagome descend those stairs elegantly, and straight into his brother's arms, or leaving already to go walk through those dining room doors and into the eighth circle of hell a little early.
He opted for the latter. It would be less painful than the first.
As he took his first step to leave, he heard the soft tap of heels on marble.
It was like watching a scary movie. You didn't want to look. . . but you had to.
His eyes flicked up to the top of the stairs, and he froze. She was wearing yellow. . . did she know how beautiful she looked in the color, or was she doing this to him on purpose?
Or was it all for Sesshoumaru?
He watched her as she flowed gracefully down the stairs, keeping her gaze and her smile on Sesshoumaru the whole time.
When she reached him, she put her arm through his, and whispered something into his ear. Though it was very low, InuYasha could still hear her words. "I've always wanted to do that." she said. Sesshoumaru smiled and laughed, and InuYasha felt as if he were intruding.
Swallowing tightly, his started ahead of them, and walked quickly.
When he stepped through the dining room doors, it was already filling up. There were at least thirty people there; his aunts, uncles, and cousins, all of them displaying cheap smiles, most of them already drinking glasses of brandy.
Many greeted him with a handshake, and all he heard was "I'm so sorry," and "He was a good man."
InuYasha just clenched his jaw and attempted some kind of a smile, nodding instead of talking. He had a feeling if he spoke, his words wouldn't be polite enough for family.
He wove his way through more aunts, glittering with their designer dresses and heavy jewelry, their expensive perfumes making the air seem too toxic to breathe.
He found his card with his name at the table, and took his seat, receiving pats on the shoulder as more uncles walked by, most of them his mother's brothers.
InuYasha just stared ahead, trying not to pass out, or something worse.
His seat was the last seat next to his mother's at the very end of the table. He was wondering where she was, when he heard someone clear their throat beside him. He turned to see a green dress, and as he looked up its length, it was his mother herself the dress belonged to.
He stood up when his mind registered her face, and he hugged her, noticing how her blue eyes were sparkling sadly. "Mama," he whispered, so no one else could hear, forgetting he was a 25 year old young man.
She stifled a sob, and squeezed him tightly. Then, her chest quivering, she drew herself back, and looked at him, recovering her posture. She said nothing, but gave him faltering smile, and motioned for them to sit down. Remembering his manners, he quickly stepped up to pull out her chair, then seated himself when she was settled in.
He kept his eyes on her. She was still beautiful, though she had aged some. And she still looked so sad; even more so now that her husband was gone.
Unable to help himself, he put a hand on her shoulder. She looked at him in surprise, then forced a smile, and returned her eyes to her plate in front of her.
He heard Kagome's voice then, right across the table from him. ". . . there are seating arrangements. You're here." she was telling Sesshoumaru, who was seated across from InuYasha's mother, "And I'm. . . "
He looked up to see her staring at the card at the seat in front of him. Her eyes flicked up to his, and she gave him a small smile, then seated herself across from him.
InuYasha could only stare at her, an eyebrow twitching. 'So this is what hell is like.'
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Kagome was laughing hysterically inside at the irony of the entire situation. Was praying not enough? Or was this family really that bad?
She kept her eyes averted from InuYasha, and turned towards Sesshoumaru, making small talk with him. She was not in a good mood; she couldn't forget why they were there. Sesshoumaru seemed like he was trying to pretend. He smiled only slightly.
She could not look at InuYasha. He still had longing swirling around in those golden eyes of his, and on top of that, he was preparing to attend his father's funeral the next day. She didn't want to make things worse for him by reminding him of problems back at work. Although, she knew her mere presence was doing that already.
Dinner went by tensely and uneventfully, and while she was picking small bites out of her dessert, she remembered agreeing to be friends with InuYasha at the engagement party. What had happened to that? Then she knew. It was now impossible for them to be friends. Sesshoumaru would get suspicious, and InuYasha would just want her more.
Oblivious to everyone else around her, Kagome still sat, trying to figure things out, until Sesshoumaru's hand on her shoulder brought her back.
She looked up at him and smiled, an everything's-fine-with-me smile, and he smirked in return.
"This is Higurashi Kagome," he was telling an auburn-haired woman with beep blue eyes. The woman looked sad; even the smile she gave Kagome was sad, and Kagome could pick up an American accent as the woman said, "It is nice to meet you, Kagome."
Kagome gave a small smile in return and nodded, and Sesshoumaru continued. "It was rude of me to not introduce you earlier. Kagome, this is Cassandra, InuYasha's mother."
Kagome goggled at her, not knowing what to say. She then gulped, trying to think of something, but Cassandra just smiled turned away when someone down the table spoke her name.
Kagome bit her lip and looked at Sesshoumaru. The chair across from her scraped the floor suddenly, and Kagome looked up to see InuYasha exiting the dining room.
She was actually wishing she and Sesshoumaru were back at her apartment watching a movie, instead of mingling at a dinner party with the upper- class.
She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, and Sesshoumaru took her hand and whispered in her ear. "We can leave now."
Relieved at the news, she stood to leave, Sesshoumaru right behind her.
Cassandra looked up at their movement, and Kagome gave her a small smile and nodded her goodbye, surprised when Cassandra gave her one in return.
Sesshouamru lead her out of the dining room, and her shoulders immediately relaxed at being alone with him again. She followed him, unaware of where he was leading her, until they took the stairs and entered a large library on the second floor. There was a balcony who's doors were slightly ajar, giving the room just enough chill to balance out the heat coming from the fire in the large fireplace.
She sat down thankfully on a couch in front of the fire, and Sesshoumaru sat down beside her. "Well. . . " he said. "We got through the first night. Only two more to go, then we'll be out of this hell."
She leaned her head on his shoulder. "It's kind of ironic, don't you think?"
"What is?"
"That the nicer places are the worst places."
"Yes. I see what you mean."
"This house; it's beautiful. It's like a. . . fairy tale place, I don't know. But with the funeral, and your family. . ."
Sesshoumaru made a noise that almost sounded like a laugh. "Exactly."
She shivered a little when the wind outside blew the doors open wider. Sesshoumaru got up and shut them, then returned to Kagome and put an arm around her shoulders. She snuggled into him reflexively. She was quiet, and he shifted, then asked, "Kagome, is something bothering you?"
She sighed. "I can't keep anything from you, can I?"
"No," he said, squeezing her affectionately. "Now tell me."
"It's. . . InuYasha. He's still. . . "
Sesshoumaru looked at her, his eyebrows raised.
She continued. "I think he's still in love with me. . . it's all been so awkward. And it didn't help that we were seated right across from one another tonight."
"Do you. . ." Sesshoumaru trailed off hesitantly, as if he were considering his next question very carefully. "Do you still have feelings for him? You can be honest." he added softly.
"I. . . I don't know. I really don't think so. It was just a sexual attraction. I. . . any feelings I have for him now are purely non-romantic. I really feel sorry for him. . . he seems so sad, now. Like his mother. Did you notice that? How sad she seems?"
"She's always been that way. Even when Father was alive."
"I wonder what happened to her. . . "
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
InuYasha sat at the desk in his father's study once again, the photo album in front of him, and his head in his hands. He stared at the photo of his father, Sesshoumaru, and himself. He wiped at his tired eyes, and ran a hand through his hair. Was this where everything got worse. . . ?
"InuYasha?"
His mother's soft voice made him look up to see her standing in the doorway. "Oh, hey, Mom," he said, his voice breaking a little.
"You left dinner so abruptly. Was something bothering you?"
He considered telling her for a moment, about Kagome, but decided against it. Instead, he replied, "The room seemed too crowded, and stuffy. . . you know. . ."
She nodded, and motioned for him to come sit with her on a small couch near the warm fireplace.
He stood, then looked down at the album. Now was the time to ask her. He needed to know why she was so sad. . . and why there were so many pictures of Sesshoumaru's mother and hardly any of her. He brought the album with him and sat down beside her.
"What is that?" she asked curiously, slowly.
"Mom, there's, uh. . . something I want to ask you. I have a lot of questions. . . "
Her eyebrows drew together. "About what?"
He closed the photo album, then pointed to the picture on the front. She gave him a look that told him she did not understand, and he continued. "This picture. I remember this birthday party. It was one of the best I've ever had. Everyone was happy. . . but you look sad in this picture. And. . ." he flipped through to the other picture of her in the blues dress, "here, too. Why are you so sad all of the time? Ever since I can remember. . . you've always been sad."
She sat for a moment and did not look at him. Then, in a sad whisper, she asked him, "When did you find that album?"
"Today. Around lunch time, when I was cleaning the place up."
"Have you looked through the entire album? At every photo?"
InuYasha nodded, but she wasn't looking at him, so he said, "Yeah. I have."
"Then you'll have noticed that most of the pictures in there are of Sesshoumaru's mother."
"Yeah. . . I did."
She looked at her hands, her cheeks a stinging red. "Your father," she said, her voice breaking, "never stopped loving her. That's what everyone thinks. That he left her for me, because he loved me more, but. . . it's not true. He loved her more than his own life."
InuYasha took a silent moment to let her words sink in. "Then why. . . But, he loved you!" He said softly.
"Yes, he loved me. . . " she said harshly, "but not like he loved her. He loved me because he had to. . .because he grew to love me. And over time, I grew to love him."
InuYasha's chest ached. "So. . . you guys didn't get married because you were in love?"
She looked at him then, an empathetic look, and said, "It's hard to believe for a child, I know." She placed a hand on his shoulder. "But you are no longer a child. . . and it's time you knew the truth."
Realizing she was right, he put his hand over hers. "Tell me, then."
"Your father's company was at it's peak when Sesshoumaru was born. He and Elizabeth," she turned to the picture of Sesshoumaru's mother in the red dress and pointed at it, "that was her name, you remember?"
InuYasha nodded.
"He and Elizabeth were very much in love, and were very happy. They were living in luxury, and their newborn baby made the world seem a perfect place. . . " she said, turning to the old picture of the three of them. "Three years later, though," she continued, "the company was at its worst. My father owned a large company in America, and wanted a coalition with his and your father's. They could provide for each other, and benefit greatly from one another. Your father needed my father, if he wanted things to be good again, and if he did not want to lose everything he owned. So your father met him, and discussed it with him. He nearly begged him. And my father told him, he did not have to bring their companies together. He did not necessarily need your father's help. And when your father did beg him , he made him a bargain. 'If you marry my daughter, we will be partners,' he told him."
InuYasha's eyebrows drew together. When he didn't say anything, Cassandra continued. "Your father, of course, thought the idea ludicrous. He explained to him that he had a wife, and a son, whom he loved very much. But my father was a manipulative, controlling man. He didn't care. He reminded your father of how he would lose everything he owned. And he told him, if he married me, and did not keep close contact with Elizabeth, the companies would thrive.
"Well, your father turned him down at first, then later told Elizabeth of their bargain. And to his own shock, she wanted him to do it."
At this news, InuYasha looked up at his mother incredulously.
Cassandra nodded. "She wanted nothing more than for him to have everything. She didn't care about herself. He tried to convince her that there had to be some other way, but once Elizabeth made up her mind, their was no changing it. Then he brought up Sesshoumaru. She said she would take care of him. There were ways they could still see each other. And soon, your father remembered my father's words. '*Close* contact,' he had said.
"It was the hardest thing they'd ever had to do. And our marriage was a sad one. An angry one. But, no one could tell; your father and I were both very good actors."
InuYasha stared at his father's young face in the old photo. "So. . . you didn't want to marry Dad?"
"No. I hated Father for it, and I tried to hate your father, too, but. . . he was too kind. He understood, so we kept a nice friendship between us. I let him see Elizabeth, because I've always believed in true love. And they had it. But, after a year. . ." Cassandra laughed," my father started asking if there would be any 'strapping young grandsons' on the way. He was growing suspicious. So. . . we had to. . . you know. And it was awkward, because, we were friends, not lovers - "
"And that's why I'm here." InuYasha cut in with an angry whisper.
Cassandra grabbed his arm, and squeezed it so hard, she surprised InuYasha with her strength. Her voice was an equally aggressive whisper. "Don't you think for a minute that we ever regretted you. After you were born, we realized you had been worth it. You were the most precious addition we would ever have. Everything you brought to us made our lives easier."
"Then why were you still sad?" He looked at her with a spent desperation.
Cassandra looked at him and inhaled deeply. "There was a man, named Jonathan. . . back in America. He and I had been in love ever since we were eighteen. I continued to write to him. And as time went by, he told me of his new wife. . . then, his two beautiful daughters. . . " she choked a little, and covered her mouth with her hand. Her eyes were brimmed with tears. "All I could think of, was what we could've had. I was so jealous of your father for being so close to Elizabeth. . . but Jonathan was a world away."
InuYasha could only stare sullenly at the fire. "So you had it the worst."
Cassandra looked once again at her hands. "I suppose so. But," she reached up and soothed the silver hair by his ear, " you helped me to forget. I knew that I would never have a true love. . . and I've come to terms with that. And now that your father is. . . well, it really feels like losing a true love. We were more than friends, but we were not lovers. I'm sorry if it is too complicated for you to understand. It is a hard emotion to describe."
"No, Mom, I. . . I understand. I understand everything, now. But why didn't Sesshouamru know? Didn't he know they saw each other?"
Cassandra shifted. "That's were it gets even more complicated. Elizabeth was afraid of my father ever discovering about their rendezvous, so she wanted to keep it a secret, even from their only son. That way, no one would ever know."
"And that's why Dad always invited Sesshouamru over on holidays. He never stopped loving him."
Cassandra nodded. "I don't know why things had had to become so ridiculously complicated, but they just had. And the three of us managed to keep it a secret for this long."
InuYasha shook his head faintly, in awe. "How did you live that way?"
"Just barely."
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So. . . we now know the big family secret. Hmm. . . wonder how Seshie's gonna take it. . . Again, one of my faveorite chappies.
Sorry it's taken me a while to update. I got sick with the mother of all colds, and missed a day of writing. Which can put you back a surprisingly scary amount of time.
But, I noticed. . . we're not up to 200 reviews, yet. Keep reviewing, guys! I hope you'll like the news. . . *I'm* excited about it. ^_^
Ta-ta for now! Honey Bee ^_~