Chapter 12: The Truth, Finally More Complicated Than Ever
"Kaemeon, what the freak are you doing?" Robert yelled at the incoming koopas.
"General Robert!" Kameon yelled, "Some. . . some things attacked us, sir!" Kaemeon stopped dead in his tracks in front of Robert.
"Couldn't you fight them off?"
"No sir!" Kaemeon said coming to a salute, "They outnumbered us, and they were huge!"
"How huge?"
"At least seven feet tall sir!"
Robert pondered this. "And suppose these. . . things. . . did one of them have big ears?"
"Yes sir!"
"And, did it have fur covering it's entire body?"
"Yes, sir!"
"Obviously. . ." Robert said, grabbing a spaer in both hands, "You are. . . LYING!" He brought it down sharply against his knee, breaking in two."
"Sir, I swear. . ."
"Don't 'I swear' me, Sergent." Robert teemed, "You are just a coward."
"Sir. . . " Kaemeon paused, "I'm telling the truth sir."
"I would like to see these 'things' that you have been rambling on about."
"Sir, my men--"
"Your men what?" Robert sneered.
". . . nevermind, sir. If you would just grant me a larger batallion. . ."
"Take the whole freakin' camp with you, coward!" Robert yelled in his face.
"Yes, sir." Kaemeon dropped his salute and yelled, "A TEN HUT! COMPANIES A, B, C, FALL IN!"
"You're going to be a laughing stock, you know that, Kaemeon?" Robert said with a sneer.
"I know what I saw, sir."
"Well, you're just going to have to prove it to me." Robert mentioned in a sing-song voice.
"FORWARD MARCH!" Kaemeon yelled to his troops. hey marched off into the woods, leaving Robert alone in the camp.
Heh. Right. Seven foot tall monsters with big ears and fur. I bet they shoot electricity bolts, too.
"They gone?" Said a voice in the trees.
"Who's there?" Robert said to the voice, "I demand whoever is up there to come down this second!"
"Robert, get a grip."
"Huh?"
A relatively tall, pikachu-looking humanoid jumped out of the tree, and landed neatly on her feet. Following it was one that looked like a Raichu, then a nidoran, then a man Robert thought he had seen before. Then from behind the trees, a normal looking Charmander and a Porygon.
"Who the freak are you?" Robert stated, "I can take you all on!" He picked up a spear from a nearby wood stump and grasped it meancingly.
"Robert, chill, ok?"
"Stop saying my name!" Robert pointed the spear at Jenna.
"It's me! Jenna!" Jenna said.
"Oh, yeah?" Robert said, "Then prove it, freak!"
the pikachu humanoid unid the necklace around her neck, "This was the only way I could convince Phil, too." She tossed it at Robert.
Catching it, Robert glanced at it. It was the poké ball necklace Jenna always wore. "Where did you get this?" He said.
"It's mine." Jenna said, "I've had it for three years now."
"That's not possible!" Robert said, "This was a one-of-a-kind that Jenna wore!"
"That's because I am Jenna!"
"No. . ." Robert said, "You're just a weird pikachu-looking thing!"
"And you," The raichu fellow said, "Are a four-foot tall koopa with too much hair."
"I. . ." Robert paused, "Oh, freak."
Jenna responded, "It's ok, Rob."
"Jenna, sorry. I kind of lost myself there."
"Rob, how did you get like this?"
"I haven't a clue."
"I would like to know what's going on." Skye said.
"And I would like to tell you." Phil said, "But I haven't a clue."
"I want to know, too." Charlie said, "I thought Koopas were only in video games."
"Pokémon are supposed to be, also." Robert said under his breath.
"What?" Skye said.
"Nothing."
"No, I distinctly heard you say that pokémon were supposed to be, also."
"Char char?" the charmander said, "Charmander?"
"Pikachu pika." Jenna said.
"Jenna," Robert said, "I see you finally learned a new language."
"Yeah," Jenna said with an arm behind her head, " I just sorta knew it when I woke up three days ago."
"Woah," Robert said, "You woke up three days ago, too?"
"You mean the same thing happened to you?" Phil said.
"I know you." Robert said in his direction, "You're Jenna's boyfriend, aren't you?"
"Yeah." Phil said.
"What are you guys talking about?" Skye asked, "You don't make any sense!"
"Yeah!" Charlie agreed.
"Char char!" said Charmander.
"Pory gon gon!" also said Porygon.
"It's kinda difficult to explain." Phil said. "We. . . the three of us. . . aren't. . . from around here."
"Yeah, I can see that." Skye said, "But that dosen't explain why there are characters from Mario Games around here!"
"Nor from Zelda games." Phil said, untying his headband, revealing his pointed ears.
"Nor from Kirby games." Jenna said in continuation.
"Nor from Pokémon games." Robert said, eyeing Skye.
"Hold it!" Skye said, "This is all too much information already! What do you mean 'Pokémon' games?"
"Where we're from," Robert said, "Is a place where there are no pokémon, nor koopas, just humans."
"JUST humans?"
"Humans, animals, and plant life." Robert concluded.
"No way." Skye said, "I just don't beileve there is such a boring place."
"It doesn't end there." Robert said, "There's always wars going on, not to mention the internal deviation of the government."
"Don't you do anything worth you're while, like pokémon training?"
"No pokémon, no training, noting of the sort. Just school, then work, then death."
"I do not belive it." Skye said. "If what you're saying is true, then there is such a place in existence that is as boring as that?"
"Well," Robert continued, "Yeah. After all, you don't go around every day seeing koopas on a regular basis."
Skye stopped for a second. "Alright." He said, "I guess I'll have to believe you."
"Char charmander char!" said Charmander.
"Chu rai chu rai." said Skye.
"What?" asked Phil, "I still can never understand a word you're saying."
"She says it still doesn't explain why you're here."
"Well," Phil said, "As best as I can figure, something really screwed up and, one, mashed all the principle universes of the video game worlds together, two, sent us here, and three, screwed something totally upbecause there are not supposed to be any hybrids in the pokémon world, nor decit and constant land fertility draining in Hyrule."
"But the hybrids only started appearing ten years ago." Skye said.
"War in Hyrule stopped ten years ago, too." Phil said.
"Where did Hyrule come into all of this?" Skye asked.
"Well, like I said, all principle Video game worlds have seemingly been mashed into one. I was there before I crossed a desert and came here."
"Weird." Skye said.
"Well, I don't know about you two guy's worlds," Robert said, "But nothing odd in the mushroom world happened exactly ten years ago."
"General Robert!" Yelled a voice from the wood. A lone koopa rushed out, seemingly oblivious to the others there, and stopped in fromnt of Robert. "Sir! Our batallion ran into Mario!"
"I thought I trained you well enough to take care of these problems!"
"Sir. . ." The koopa said, "Sir, I think you're confused about something."
"What, Private Ken?"
"You only taught us his basic attack technique."
"I taught you everything I knew about him!"
"Then sir," The koopa placed his hand to his side, "No one's told you what happened ten years ago."
"There's your thing." Skye said, still oblivious to Ken.
"What happened ten years ago?" Robert asked.
"Ten years ago, the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, Princess Peach Toadstool, went missing. Mario blamed it on King Bowser, and when she never turned up, Mario took it that she died, and blamed her death on King Bowser."
"What does this have to do with Mario's fighting style?"
"Well," The koopa explained, "In previous episodes, Mario and Bowser took their confrontations lightly. It was considered more of a game than all-out war. When Peach died, Mario snapped, and now. . ." Ken paused, ". . . now he brandished a sword."
Everyone around Ken paused for a moment in a unanimous jaw-drop.
"He kills, now." Ken said, "We've never won a fight against him."
"Freak it all. . ." Robert muttered, "Freak it all! FREAK THAT FRICKIN' MARIO!" Robert yelled as loud as he could and stomped his foot on the ground.
"Robert!" Jenna said, "Calm down!"
"How many troops did we lose?" Robert asked Ken.
"I'm the last one, sir."
Document created with wvWare/wvWare version 0.6.7
-->