Summary: Xander's roadtrip goes four dimensional, and un-living.
Crossover: Hellsing
Disclaimer: If you think I own this, I have a bridge to sell you.
Feedback: Why not?
Pre-Fic Comments:
I'm making up a bunch of stuff here.
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Buffy and Willow found Giles sitting on his favourite armchair in his living room, looking at a black coffin on his coffee table. He had the bottle of whisky he'd opened by him.
"What's the what?," Buffy asked.
Shot glass in hand, Giles gestured at the coffin. "That's... well, you'd better read the letter."
The two girls looked over it. Once they had finished, Buffy marched over to the coffin and opened it up.
"Hey!," Willow said.
"There's a dried up, rotten, corpse in here, Giles, not a baby fresh vampire," Buffy observed.
"That's the way their curse works," Giles said. "It figures that Xander would be cursed, I mean, who stays normal on a Hellmouth?"
"Their? He isn't a normal vampire?," Willow asked, always quick to pick up fine details.
"Well, yes," Giles said. He got up, pouring himself another shot. "The vampires you have seen up until now, including Angel, have been of the Aurelius line of vampires. Xander there was turned by Vlad's line."
"Vlad the Impaler?," Buffy asked.
"Yes," Giles confirmed. "Although it had been speculated within the council that Vlad had existed as a vampire long before he rose to power."
"So," Buffy said. "You raise 'em, I stake 'em?"
Giles turned sharply at this. Some of his whisky slopped onto his hand at the movement. "You will do no such thing. The Vlad vampires have their souls, and Council policy is to leave them alone until they harm the innocent."
"So we tie him up, then do the revive thing," Willow said. "Giles, have you got any ropes or anything?"
It turned out Giles had some cast iron restraints. After some jokes by the two girls, they clamped the leg irons and the wrist irons on the dessicated corpse. Giles picked up the bag of medical blood that had been inside the coffin.
"Uh, should I?," he asked.
"Sure," Willow said. "Because then Buffy would be able to stop him if something goes wrong, because, well, slayer!"
"Right," Giles said. He punctured the bag with a pair of scissors. "Well, here goes."
Giles slowly began pouring the human blood into the corpse's mouth. The effect was almost immediate. The flesh reverted to the appearance of flesh, the eyes reinflated, and all the other details. The hair lightened to white, greying as more blood was poured until it was black.
Except for the hair colour, the person was quite recognisable.
"Xander!," Willow yelled, grabbing the figure and hugging the crap out of him.
"Uh, Hi, Willow," Xander said hesitantly. "Good to see you all... it's been awhile for me."
"It's been three months," Buffy said.
"Couldn't you phone us?," Willow asked.
"You did read the letter, right?," Xander asked. "I've had to live through several hundred years to get back to you guys."
Giles interrupted. "Xander... is this signature correct? Are you Finality?"
The Watcher took his glasses off, cleaning them.
"Yeah," Xander said.
"Uh, for those of us who haven't lived through the last several hundred years," the Slayer said, "what's the deal with this Finality?"
"I kill demons," Xander shrugged. "I also didn't want anyone gunning after my mortal self in the future."
"Finality is a legendary hunter," Giles said. "He is responsible for the final deaths of legions of vampires, and scores of demons. If, uh, a demon hears that Finality is present, that demon immediately skips town, taking all it's relatives with it."
"Speaking of which, that's a real pain," Xander complained. "I hate running after them."
Buffy looked at Xander, mouth wide open and speechless.
"If you keep with that, flies are gonna buzz in," Xander said.
Buffy closed her mouth.
"Xander, I feel that it would be good for Buffy if she could learn something of Slaying under you," Giles said.
"Yeah, what's with this whole ignore the Slayage thing you have going on right now?," Willow asked.
"I, ah, was attempting to teach Buffy something of self reliance," Giles admitted.
"Self reliance sucks," Xander muttered. "Does Angel still hang around here?"
"Ah, no," Giles said. "He left for Los Angeles, to remove the temptation of..."
"Me," Buffy finished.
"Schmuck of a vampire," Xander muttered.
"Hey!," Buffy said. "Angel's helped us a lot."
"I've helped us a lot," Xander complained. "Without me, you'd have about a hundred times more demons to deal with. Besides, he can't summon a familiar, he can't regenerate his legs... I could go on."
"Familiar?," Willow asked. "You know magic?"
"A bit," Xander admitted. "I had some fun with Drac for awhile."
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Post-fic Comments:
Short 'n' sweet.