00Snape

Lord Snape the Gentleman

The night was dark, no father was there

The child was wet with dew;

The mire was deep, and the child did weep,

And away the vapour flew

William Blake 1789

Severus Snape, who had been in, as H. Potter had charmingly put it up in the Gryffindor Comman room, 'a hissy fit from a bastard', was still grumpy at six in the evening. He was currently kicking a very old and very valuable leather and mahogany chair and had his wand out.

"What on earth is wrong with you?" came an amusidly concerned voice from the far corner and he turned, tucking the wand into his pocket grudgingly. The voice owner emerged from the shadowy doorway and came into the dimly lit apartments. "You've been in a mood all day."

The woman who stood in the centre of the flagged stone floor was all soft curves, from her wavey ringleted cinnamon hair with the natural sunkissed tresses of highlights, to the full mouth and round gold eyes. She was wearing robes of a soft honey gold and peering at him with worry evident in her eyes. Severus paused for a second in his vicous game of attack-the-family-heirloom and looked at her with dark eyes.

"Well?" said the lady, moving forward and dusting her fingers lightly along the top of a small walnut and silver chess board, at which the knight attempted to kiss her thin fingers, and only succeeded in scratching a golden tinted nail. Snape's look softened and he gathered her into his arms.

The air of victory with which she responded to his lithe body was one of someone who has finally opened a particulary obnoxious nail varnish lid and found it the perfect shade. He began absently plaiting her hair into tiny plaits as she snuggled to him.

"Are you going to tell me what's upset you?" she asked again, and he smirked slightly.

"Do you never give up, perefctio?" he said in a sham angry voice and she immediantly scrambled out of his arms and turned to the embers of the fire, tears forming in her eyes. Puzzled by her sudden mood swing, he went cautiously towards her and spoke softly again.

"Whatever is wrong? Please, don't cry." Soothed by his settling words she turned towards him again, sniffed as one does when one is holding back tidalwaves of tears, and nodded. He took her hand and led her over to the leather sofa, where they sat down, side by side, she curled up in his chest.

"Why were you crying?" he asked again, some secobnds alter when he had finsihed trilling kisses all over her face and kissing away the tears in the corners of her eyes.

"Just moodswings." She answered absently, staring at the floor. Severus sighed, he would never understand this female complaints.

"Would you like anything to eat?" he asked, ever the gentleman.

"Uh, bannana icecream." She muttered, going slightly pink.

"Bannana icecream?" he said, amazed and slightly unbelieveing. "You hate bannanas and you detest icecream."

"Yeah, well. You hate children and carry on teaching." She almost shouted defensively.

"Fine, fine. Calm down." He said, almost wanting to run away from the madwoman who generally lived in his rooms. She burst into noisy tears. Gingerly, he wrapped an arm around her and she relaxed into his like a sack of griffin livers.

"I'm s sorry." She stammered at last, looking up at him with red eyes and nose. "It's been a b-bad day."

"Mine hasn't been excellent either." He muttered, kssing her forehead and she looked at him, concern etched into her teary face.

"Why?" she said at last, and he sighed, drew out his wand and blasted the chair, glaring imposingly at him from across the room, into cindered logs, neatly waiting to be thrown into the fireplace.

"My father," he said father in such a disgusted tone of voice she was sure he was about to be sick, "returned today. Do you know what it's like being the petted and loved only child for nine years of the most beautiful woman you had ever seen, and then having it wrenched away from you with one bloody wand?"

The lady didn't say anything, and Severus went on, bitterly.

"He killed her you know, in front of me. She wanted to keep me with her, and he wanted me to be taken away and be given 'drilling' in the dark arts. They didn't even argue, he just killed her. I was in the chair by the window and I saw it all. He hadn't been around for nine years and eight months, since I was conceived. He had no intrests in me, always away on business trips. He lived with Voldemort, he was his right hand man. Until someone told him his son was showing exceptional talent in the field of potions, when he decided he wanted me. Bastard."

He summoned a photograph from somewhere, of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She was tall and slender, with long black hair and black eyes, clearly his mother. Her nose, though, was small and pert, and she was smiling slightly as a blur sped into the frame and hugged her, leaping around.

"And then he sent me here, with enough money to buy the place. Somewhat like Malfoy junior, but about three times as rich." He gave a short sardopnic laugh. "And seven times more obnoxious."

"I love you, Severus Snape, and don't you forget it." She said, jumped up and ran for the door, slamming it behind her as she ran away, tears streaming down her face and one hand clutched desperately over her mouth.

Snape meanwhile, smiled slightly, and went back to destroying furniture. The stone gargoyle was first.

You act like you never had love

And you want me to go without.

Well, it's too late tonight to drag the past out into the light. U2

"Good Merlin, miss Granger!" came the startled explanation of the fat lady (who was guiltily holding a can of Slimming Weight Watchers Milkshakes and sneakily drinking it.)

"Barbarian!" said the girl, wand clasped in her hand and sped into the comman room, which was virtually deserted.

"Anyhoo," began a voice of a Weasley from the far corner, "The bastard gave me detention! Detention! Ooph!" He had said ooph because Hermione had just sunk down on top of him accidentally, leaping up as if she had been electrocated.

"Blimey, Mione," began Dean, moving over to give her some room next to Ginny Weasley, "Got some dirt in your eyes?"

"Do leave me alone!" she snapped and buried her head in Ginny's shoulder, beginning to cry.

"What's wrong, Hermione?" asked Harry Potter, placing a claw cautiously on her back. She shrieked as the flame tickled the back of her neck, and surveyed the unicorn and dragon before her triumphantly.

"Nothing." She mumbled at last. "I think I'll go to bed."

"Did you find the cure yet?" shrieked the pink unicorn, who was now sprouting teenage fluff,

"Antidote! No!" she shrieked, "The greasy git wasn't there." Ginny gave her a rather strange look as she said that, and gave the moving portrait an even stranger glance.

"Hey, Hermione," she said in a frutative whisper, "Is the fat lady on a diet?"

"Fat…Fat…Fat." Mumbled Hermione frantically, slightly delusionly, and was saved by her headgirl badge spinning off her robes and turning into an image of Draco Malfoy's head in front of her.

"Granger!" he barked, and turned to look around him, distracted by the shrieks. "Eugh, the red!"

"Enough, Malfoy, what?"

"Looking good Potter!" he winked at the moulting Dragon and chuckled nastily. "Miss Golden Girl, Dumbledore wants us. And Snape."

"Now?" she murmered, glancing warily at him, "I can't…I'll get fat…"

"What the hell? Granger, get into the headmaster's office now, you klutz! The walk'll help you loose weight." He smirked at her and winked suddenly at Parvati who swooned.

"No it won't. The weight! The weight! Will I ever get these weight stains off my middle!" she sobbed thatrically, and Draco rolled his eyes and materialised with a little pop where the bedge had been. The badge returned to her robes and he seized her by the arm and marched off with her, leaving the Gryffindors sharing puzzled, worried and angry looks.

"The weight…The fat…" they heard Hermione mutter as she was dragged off. Draco was sighing heavily.

Author's Notes:

Sorry for the deranged ending. It ran away from me…and apparantly to lady Macbeth…

Thankyou so much for all the lovely reviews which materialised in my inbox. May I have some more? I will attempt to answer the critically dangerous-for-my-brain type questions also supplied.

1. Is that the end? Noooo. I have another three chapters to write, and then you have the chance to influence whether I write you a sequel or not.

2.  Why did the last picture go green? The joining of wands involves a spell, known in Moland as Memoria, which can only take place when all wand joiners are willing to divulge the memories. The genius of this is that the memories shown can only be those within the last two months and involving both or all the wand bearers in the joining. I.e when Hermione, Draco and professor Snape join wands and the incantation is said the memories shown must involve all three of them. Most of the time Snape is merely a spectator. Thus, when Draco is holding a sobbing Hermione, Severus must be in some way involved. Because he took his wand away as the picture was forming, he left behind a residual of his feelings. Green, as we all know, is the colour of jealousy, so he was jealous.

3. Special thanks to:-

Tammy C

Katie()

Tessa()

Walking Enigma

The-Rouge-Thorn

sweetAngel2592

who reviewed me within a day of this going up!