00Snape

Lord Snape the Very, Very Nervous

Severus Snape was pacing, rather pathetically really, across his rooms. They seemed to have grown to be endless, but in reality he was merely pacing smaller steps. Across the room Draco Malfoy and Blaise abini were grinning, Draco pouring out a crystal glass of Scottish Whisky and holding it out to Severus.

"No, Malfoy. She wouldn't like me to be drunk." He muttered, but his eyes watched the glass as it glinted temptingly in front of his eyes, the amber liquid shaking a little.

"Aw, come on godfather." Dismissed Draco, "What she doesn't know won't hurt her."

"She'll smell it on me." He sighed gloomily, mesmerized as Draco sloshed the liquid around more.

"Nervous?" snorted Blaise, smiling widely.

"Ja." Answered Severus, very, very quietly. Blaise smirked and tinkled the glass bottle with his silver cufflinks, lying abandoned on the table.

"Look, Sev," he said, "Go for it, last drink as a free man, dude. Then we can start with the teadious part of getting dressed."

"Excuse me, I'm the one with the most clothing on here." Pointed out the potion's master, indicating his green silk gown and the other two's obvious lack-of-anything.except-boxers.

"Yeah, and the one giving up your freedom, dude." Pointed out the heir to the Zabini fortunes.

"He's right…" said draco coyly, "She's got you under her thumb already…"

"Right! That's it!" snarled Lord Snape, and seized the tumbler. Swigging it back, he was caught in mid-strip, as we in Britain say.

The fire cackled green, binged urgently, and Ginny Weasley tumbled out onto the hearth, dressed in little more than a silk negligee and oodles of curlers. Snape choked briefly, recognising the gown as one he himself had bought for Hermione when she had got past the part of being able to wear anything to enhance her figure. Ginny had obviously grabbed it off the hook where it lived before diving through the fire place. The whisky flew all over the place.

"Booze!" she almost shouted, "Before she runs away to the Three Broomsticks and emmigrates!"

Blaise and Draco gawped at her, and then grasped the meaning of her words.

"There you go, Sev," said Draco, smirking, "The bride'll be drunk as well."

Severus, guiltily stuffing the crystal glass behind a cushion sat down quickly. Then he held out the tumbler he had fished from it's hiding place.

"Fill me up, Blaise, before I have to say goodbye to my greatest confort."

"Oh Merlin, don't tell me he wants to move to Australia as well!" exclaimed the youngest original Weasley.

"Oph, we were thinking more about Antarctica, dudess." Joked Blaise, tipping the bottle over the glass and filling it up, "Australia is such a cliché!" he added cheerfully, and tossed the bottle to her.

"Have another one." Advised Draco, handing her a bottle of unopened Whisky from underneath the table.

"Thanks. See you six later!" she joked, and dived back into the fireplace.*

"Yes." Murmered Snape wearily, swigging the bottle down. "but I was thinking more of Cornwall."

Blaise and draco stared at him for a while, shook their heads and proposed a toast to Severus sharing his beautiful fiancee. He chased them around the suite for a while, and then went to take his thrid shower of the morning.

"Do you think he's trying to drown himslef?" asked Blaise, ear pressed to the keygole.

"Oh no." Assured Draco, "There's about ninety photos of Hermione stuck to the walls in there."

"I must make sure I have a shower then." Joked Blaise, easily and quickly.

-*ö*-

Hermione looked stunning, walking up the aisle on the arm of Remus Lupin, her surrogate father. Her dress was of an ancient muggle design, a sixteenth century Jane-Auston type of affair, ivory with silk ribbon trim and her hair piled high onto her head and decorated with real pearls. He could hardly see her face under the silken veil but knew she would the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on benaeth it's restrictions.

Her bridesmaids were Ginny Weasley and Luna Lovegood, and Harry and Ron glared at Snape from either side of her. It was a little strange perhaps, but they had their rights. Severus had not been happy to be warned as part of the ceremony.

Finally, just before he felt his leg go dead, she reached him and shyly held out her hand for his. Harry made a little rabbit sound and Ron went slightly green, but they didn't try to tar and feather the groom, for which he was grateful. Blaise and Draco grinned widely beside him, and went to take the arms of the bridesmaids while Harry and Ron followed the procession upto where Albus Dumebdlore was beaming proudly.

"I'm glad you didn't run off to Antartica." Whispered Hermione in his ear, and he almost choked.

"Good evening." Greeted Albus Dumbeldore, "Ah, Harry and Ron, would you like to warn Seveurs?"

He sounded rather amused, and Severus rolled his eyes when he saw Hermione's hand go up underneath the veil to bloke the choking laughter. Harry and Ron stepped forward, glaring.

"Right!" began Ron, "If you ever, ever, ever make Hermione cry we will bash your head open and feed your brains to Hagrid's blast-ended skreets."

"If you ever, ever physically hurt her, we will destroy your potions labroratory." Said Harry, and Severus shuddered.

"If you leave her, we will make sure the best lawyers take away everything you own"

"Basically, if you offend her we'll sic Sirius on you!" finished Harry triumphantly. Blaise and Ginny were giggling softly now and only Severus looked marginally terrified.

"Thankyou boys." Said Dumbeldore, beaming, "Now, as according to the Wizarding vows and rules, I must ask you some questions. Severus, you first. Do you understand that if you ever use your magic against your partner, you will be sent to Azkaban?"

"Yes." He replied gloomily, and Hermione nodded, whispering yes.

"Do you understand that if you attempt to hurt your partner while drunk, you will be sent to the mercy of Harry Potter and Ron Weasley?"

"Yes."

"And you miss Granger, will be sent to the mercy of Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini?"

"Yes."

"Not that we'll do anything, mind, because she's damn sexy!" hissed Blaise, loud enough for Severus to hear.

"HANDS OFF MY WIFE!" he roared furiously, until Hermione tapped him sharply on his back and patted his head soothingly.

"Severus, calm down. Then, by the power of the phoenix, I pronounce you man and wife! You may now ravish the bride!"

"Erm…" Hermione said rather quietly, and everyone in the whole hall turned to look at Dumbeldore.

"Good heavens, you have no sense of humour! Severus, snog her!"

Severus shrugged and flipped the veil off his new wife to reveal a beautiful, delicate face peering up at him worridly. Carefully he grasped her chin in his hand and lowered his lips to hers, kissing her delicately.

Author's Note: Yeah, that was short. I had no idea what a wizarding wedding was like, and I couldn't be bothered to ring my granddad for the exact words of the real service, so I did this instead! It has to be the mushiest chapter yet, right?

Erm, can I ask some questions? Is 'Interesting…' as a review good or bad? And why did someone (sorry, I can't be bothered to check your name!) feel the need to tell my Pansy's surname was Parkinson, when it was correct? Hmmm. Not that I'm moaning, I got lots of lovely reviews and these were nice, just a little strange!

Right, the LAST CHAPTER of 00Snape is under construction, so review if you want it!

* hums *

That was your que to scroll your pointy mouse down to the end of the screen and along, press the review button and write enthusiastically 'MORE MORE!' even if you don't want more.

Right, off you go!

Erm, shouldn't you be doing something?

Good Person! * smiles *