*AN: I really need to get this story wrapped up. I'm going to try to write more this week. Having the show be back on again is really playing with my ideas, and I don't want to change my mind about where I'm going. This is another long one, but very interesting, so I don't think you'll mind. Oh, and how hot was Sark on the show last night? Wowza. I'll being having dreams about that for a while.
Thanks again for all of the reviews! I appreciate them.
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They walked silently, enjoying the crisp morning and the fresh air. Each wondered what the other was thinking, but neither said anything. For a while they were content to just be.
Sydney didn't remember when she felt this alive. It must have been when she was a little girl. The countryside was beautiful, everything green and lush. She was very aware of the man beside her, and took silent comfort in him. She didn't know exactly when she had shifted her opinion of him, but she was starting to enjoy his company. They came to an old stone fence. Sydney walked along it, dragging her hand lightly across the bumpy surface. She stopped and leaned her elbows on a post, glancing at the man next to her. "Mornings like this make me forget about how my life really is," she said. "It's beautiful here."
Sark didn't remember when he had enjoyed a walk so much. So far, they hadn't exchanged more than two words, but he was at ease. Funny how he, a man known for his watchfulness, could be this relaxed. He decided that for now, he would savor the moment. He was admiring more than the beauty of the scenery. "Yes, it is," he said, with a look that made Sydney blush. "It is almost untouched. That's the beauty of it." Damn, if he couldn't think straight around her. He was more at ease with the constant bashing of wills. She was beautiful inside and out, as he was discovering. It was amazing that she could be anything but hard and cynical after all that she had been through and what she still might have to go through. He could take a few lessons from her.
Sydney couldn't help but read the double meaning behind his words. This made her blush even more. What was wrong with her? Only a few weeks ago, she was content to use Aidan for her purposes. She needed answers about the past two years, and he could help. Now, she wanted to get to know him, to find out what kind of person he really was, underneath it all. She wanted to know Aidan, the man, not Sark, the assassin. "It's funny, isn't it? How when we are young, we have all of these hopes and dreams. You never think that you'll grow up to be a spy or an assa…." She let her voice drop off. Now why did she have to go there?
Sark's eyes narrowed as he realized what she was going to say. "An assassin?" Couldn't she just let him forget it for one moment? Was she never going to see him as a person? "No, I don't supposed many children want to grow up to be a murderer, if that's what you mean." He knew that he was overreacting, but she was good at putting him on the defensive. Besides, arguing with her was almost easier than the alternative.
Sydney's eyes flashed with something akin to pain. "I'm sorry, I didn't…."
"It doesn't matter what you meant. It's the truth, isn't it? I'm just a cold-blooded murderer. A monster." He turned, shoving his hands in his pockets, and started to walk away. He didn't know why her words had hurt him, he was aware of her views, but they made a mark on his heart. He berating himself for thinking that anything had changed.
"Aidan, please wait", Sydney said, grabbing at his arm. "Don't put words in my mouth. Maybe I thought that at first, but getting to know you better has made me realize a few more things." She didn't like to see him in pain like that. Her words had hurt him. And the fact that he just blew up hurt her.
"Oh, and pray tell, what are those things?" Sark smirked. "Am I a hopeless cause that you want to fight for? Perhaps you view me as a fallen angel? I assure you Sydney, I'm not." He ran his hand through his hair while gazing at her. Why did he have to fight with her?
"You always have to be so smarmy, don't you? Do you do this to anyone who tries to get close to you? It's like you hide behind your barbs as a defense. Can't you let anyone in?" Sydney knew she was picking a fight with him, but she didn't care. And, she admitted to herself, she did want to get close to him. Why did he have to be this way?
"And I suppose you want to get close to me? Get to know me better? Well, I can be obliging if you like." In one step, he was gripping her arms and making her look up at him. "There is one thing that you will do well to remember, Sydney," his voice like ice. "I belong to no one. I've chosen my path in life, and I live by it," he said as his grip on her tightened. "You seem to have some misconceptions about me. It would be in your best interest to keep your thoughts to yourself." Why did she have to be so bloody irritating? He didn't want to lose his temper with her.
Sydney looked up at him breathlessly. His voice might be cold, but his eyes were on fire. He was a man not to be reckoned with. She had never met anyone that had stood up to her this way before, but she wouldn't go down without a fight. "Listen to me, Sark. I will think what I want and say what I want. There is no way that I will let you tell me what I can and cannot do." She stared willfully back at him, amber eyes flashing.
Sark didn't even pause as he forcefully took her mouth with his own. God, her lips were soft and inviting. He didn't care where they were, or how this would end. What started as a way to make her be quiet grew into a pent up passion that he hadn't realized was there. He gave in to it as one of his hands found its way to the small of her back, pulling her tightly to him while the other cupped the side of her face. He couldn't get enough of the taste of her. His anger dissolved, and he wanted nothing more than to melt into her. s
Sydney didn't try to resist. She was stunned, yes, but after the first initial shock, she threw herself into the kiss. She hadn't realized how much she had desired Aidan. All of the frustration and anger seeped out of her body as he skillfully manipulated her tongue with his. She pressed her body into him, wanting more, as she twined her fingers in his hair. Her thoughts were hazy, and her body was on fire. A moan escaped her.
Sark didn't know why he chose to stop, but he did. Curse having a conscious, he thought. "Sydney," he said hoarsely as he pulled away. His eyes had darkened to a deep blue and his breathing was uneven. He looked at her, noting her flushed face and swelled lips. The fire in her eyes was enough to make him want to disregard everything else and take her right there. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I was angry." A look of hurt flashed in her eyes so quickly that he wondered if he really saw it.
Who did he think he was? He only kissed her because he was angry? No, that wasn't it. He wanted it just as much as her, even if it did start out in anger. "Don't flatter yourself. There is a thin line between love and hate, you know." Damn him. She wanted to cry, or better yet, punch him. She didn't like having her emotions toyed with. There was no way that she was going to let this slip by without a word. "We are going to talk about this." She mumbled as he turned around.
Sark pretended not to hear what Sydney had said. He didn't want to talk about what had just happened. He knew that she wouldn't accept that, but he needed time to think. "I think it's best if we go back to the house," said Sark, gauging her reaction. "I'm sure your mother will be here soon." He knew she was angry, but he didn't know what to do without making it worse. He wasn't used to dealing with this sort of thing. He also wasn't used to the emotions that he was feeling. For a while now, he had been feeling attraction for her. On top of that, he was really starting to care for her, and that could be dangerous. He knew that she hadn't meant to hurt him with her words, but he overreacted, something he rarely ever did. He was used to having total control of his emotions, but she was turning all of that upside down. Couple that with the fact that he wanted to take her in his arms again, and he was completely lost.
Sydney's anger had cooled a little by the time they got back to the house, but she was feeling a sting to her pride. He had used the kiss to show that he was in control. She had mistakenly thought that they were working past all of that. She knew that he had felt something too, and it irritated her that he wouldn't admit it. She was disturbed with herself, because it wasn't logical that she still fell the pressure of his lips and the heat of his body. She tried to justify it to herself by using the fact that she hadn't been with a man for close to two years. But, to be totally honest with herself, she knew that was she had felt was more powerful than it had been with anyone. Once in the living room, they stood looking at each other. Sydney was on the defensive and very argumentative. "Aidan, we are going to talk about this," said Sydney, taking a stance to show she wasn't to be reckoned with.
Sark was exasperated by her pursuit of the subject, and shut himself off from her.
"No, Sydney, we are not. Not now." Sark turned around and walked in the kitchen, leaving her fuming.
"You are a stubborn, conceited, jackass! You can lie to yourself all you want, but don't you dare lie to me. You know it meant something; we both know…." She trailed off as she followed him into the kitchen.
Seated at the table were her mother and the last person she had expected to see.
"Daddy?" Sydney couldn't believe her eyes.