Summary: Yet another S2Halloween spamfic.
Crossover: Harry Potter
Disclaimer: Do I /look/ like I have a job?
Feedback: Absolutely!
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Xander wasn't happy to be in a tent, as a famous troll put it. He was normally a happy camper, but he had just been 'volunteered' for Halloween kiddy escort duty.
If it was 'escorting' beautiful women like Willow or the Buffmeister, he'd be all over it. But for some weird, wacky reason the thought of dealing with a horde of screaming kiddies didn't really do anything for him. Something Buffy said dragged him out of his mental anguishing.
"Great," Buffy said. "I was gonna stay in and veg. The one night a year things are supposed to be quiet for me."
"Halloween quiet?," Xander asked. "Oh, I figured it'd be a big ol' vamp scare-a-palooza."
"Not according to Giles," the Slayer said moodily. "He swears that tomorrow night is, like, dead for the undead. They stay in."
"Damn!," Xander said, snapping his fingers. "And those wacky vamps promised me dinner! I think it'd be good for our Fuhrer to get out into the real world -- he can take out my kids. I'm for movies at Chateau La Harris."
"Ah, what about your mum?," Buffy asked. The idea had a certain something...
"You know how normal bars have Happy Hours?," the Xanman asked. "The Fat Lady's Arms has a 'Happy Dawn Till Dawn.'"
"'Nuff said," Willow grumped. She didn't like being reminded of Xander's parent's tendencies, as she hated being reminded of her powerlessness to correct that situation. "You're not getting out of this, Xander. What if the kids came across a serial killer, or, or, a Freddy Krueger psychopath? Maybe someone--"
Xander put a finger on Willow's lips, sealing them. "I've had enough of demon snakes, mummy girls, and vampires. I'm with Buff -- a night off would be in order."
He got up before either of the two girls could argue further, moving over to the can machine to get a coke. He put in two fifty cent pieces in a vain attempt to coax sweet, sweet sugar from the machine before being rudely interrupted.
"Harris!," Larry, one of the school jocks bellowed.
Xander groaned. Just what he needed.
"You and Buffy, you're just friends, right?," the jock continued.
"I like to think of it less as a friendship and more as a solid foundation for future bliss," Xander drawled, in the safe knowledge that Larry wouldn't understand a word.
"So, she, she's not your girlfriend?," Larry hesitantly asked.
"Alas, no."
"Do you think she'd go out with me?," Larry said, looking over at the bleach blonde.
Let's see, Xander thought. If you lost a thousand pounds, got a facial reconstruction, dyed your hair, had a brain transplant with Stephen Hawking, went to a British boarding school... no way in Hell.
"Well, Lar, that's a tough question to... No. Not a chance."
"Why not?," Larry snarled. "I heard some guys say she was fast."
"I hope you mean like the wind," Xander said, a dangerous note in his voice. The oblivious jock didn't notice it.
"Yeah, you know what I mean," the football player grinned.
"That's my friend that you're talkin' about!," Xander protested, knowing the line was lame as soon as he said it.
"Oh, yeah?," Larry challenged. "Well, what're you gonna do about it?"
Xander was already ticked. He'd lost any chances of R&R tomorrow night (he doubted the girls would let him get away with ditching Halloween), and this neanderthal had just given him the perfect outlet.
"Nothing so crude as physical fisticuffs," Xander said softly. "I'm going to slowly destroy you -- I know a lot about mental and physical abuse, the slow torture taught by the ancients."
Heck, part of that statement was even true -- the G-man's books were not filled with sweetness and light.
Larry finally noticed Harris' tone of voice, and his body language. He couldn't back down, though, not after insulting and challenging Harris in public.
"We'll see, Harris."
Buffy appeared behind Xander. "You okay, Xander?"
"I don't know," Xander said. "Am I, Larry?"
Larry gave forth a flat gaze hiding any whiff of intellect.
"Get gone," the Slayer commanded.
"Ooo! Diet!," Buffy whooped, spotting the can of Diet Dr Pepper that the can machine had grudgingly proffered in exchange for money.
"Thanks for the help, Buffy," Xander said. "Next time, leave me to handle it."
"So," Buffy chirped, "see you after school at the costume shop?"
Xander groaned. "Buffy, Buffy, Buffy. Demons in actual flesh have nothing on children in demon costumes."
"I think it would be good for you to go," Willow contributed, joining the two. "It could be a learning experience!"
"No, no, and no again!," Xander said, throwing up his hands. He decided to leave before the girls managed to talk him into /helping/ with Snyder's insane plan.
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This might get beyond two parts, but I seriously doubt it.