Title: All That I've Ever Known
Rating: Pg-13 for now
Feedback: hell yes! Either on the kitten or to laura_isaac@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: All characters in this story belong to Joss, I just play with them for a bit. The lyrics at the beginning are from "Too Lost In You" by the Sugababes (yes, I know but it fitted... )
Distribution: Anyone who wants it but let me know so my ego can be massaged!
Spoilers: S6 but not so much ep specific.
Summary: A letter from Willow - but will it help bring our girls back together?
Dedication: To Alice, you are my life - love always
"Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do
I'm too lost in you"
Tara caught Willow before her body went limp, gathering her exhausted body towards her with deft speed and agility, holding her close. She had been sitting alone in her dorm when it had hit her. Normally she was able to endure Willow's attacks at a safe distance resisting the urge to run to her, but she knew this one was different. Tearing out of her room, she ran towards Buffy's at breakneck speed, barging through the door without any explanation, upstairs just in time. And here she was now, one more with her lover, but not in the circumstances she would have preferred. She needed to help guide Willow through this before they could work on any kind of future.
Even in sleep Willow fought - the demons with her mind and body. Occasionally struggling against Tara's light restraint but not really causing any damage to herself or others around her. She had never seen Willow like this before. Sure, she had heard of Willow's pogress from her outtings with Dawn but she had never seen it with her own two eyes and what she saw worried her. She was weak, pale and so unlike the Willow she once knew and loved. Magic had really taken its toll on this once strong redhead. But she needed this woman, more than she needed to eat, breathe or sleep and she was going to help her, even if it killed her.
The minutes merged into hours and before Tara knew it morning had begun to break over the horizon, casting thin rays of light over the troubled lovers. Willow's struggling had ceased hours ago and she lay content in the blonde's arms, her face calm and peaceful; so unlike the events of last night - but how long would it last? Confusion suddenly hit Tara - could she stay like this, until Willow came to again? She didn't want to give Willow false hope that everything was once like they were becasue she was here but she needed to let Willow know that she was here for her - that she wasn't alone in this. She didn't want to leave this serenity but they needed to work through alot of tihngs before she allowed herself to safely fall back into old ways. Shifting upwards towards the foot of the bed Willow's grip tightened around her waist
"Tara?" - a question? a plea? Almost like a prayer from a Fallen Angel. In the calmest voice she could muster, one that would not give away her feelings she replied; "I'm here"
"Stay with me?" Willow pleaded once more "Please just hold me?" the voice was scarsely above a whisper but Tara heard it loud and clear as the words spoken echoed round her head. Could she do this? Could she stay neutral? She lay back in the bed and pulled Willow close, she could not deny her this, no matter how much her own feelings conflicted.
Tara jerked awake. How long had it been? Then everything that had happened before and earlier hit her again and she turned towards the redhead who still was sleeping, still oblivious to the dilema in the person next to her. How long could she remain this close to Willow and not give in to the urge to kiss her, to touch her, this woman who she loved more than life itself.
The sun sohne brightly through the window and outside the noise of industry and civilisation, a world away from the now calm of these four walls in which the two had spent so many nights of love filled passion. Again question, always questions, ran through Tara's brain; why had the Scoobies not come to help Willow? Had they totally given up on the person who had done so much to help them in the past? They too had made many mistakes and errors in their lives and been forgiven, was Willow so far removed from them? Where were they now?
Suddenly Tara was aware of eyes burning into her from below - she looked down and emerald eyes looked back up - weary, sullen eyes that showed so much and said so little but were like panes of glass, see-through but fragile. "Tara?" - the plea once more.
"Yes my love?" the answer, the endearment passed through her lips as naturally as breathing but she mentally cursed herself.
"Thank you for coming" a croaked voice, so unused to talking these days "I knew you would" Willow coughed, and then trying to get her breath again continued "The - the magic, its so powerful, its still inside, calling, waiting for the time I give in so it can take over. I'm trying so hard Tara - I really am. But I can't do this alone, I-"
She was cut off but a kiss on the forehead and the words; "Shhh, I'm here now, no-one will harm you, I will see to that. Willow smiled, a weak smile that was accompinied by the words "I love you Tara" - almost mumbled.
"I love you too Will. I never stopped. I needed to leave for so many reasons. My reasons are my own but you needed to make the first move. I couldn't do that for you. You needed to show that you valued what we had and were willing to start again. But I will do anything in my power to help you now - I will stay for now but..." Tara paused, not wanting to continue but she knew she had to "... I can't prmoise we'll be together at the end of it. We can't go back to the way we were, we need to talk, work at it, I need time, we need time Willow..."
Saying nothing Willow nodded, trying to take in what Tara had just said. Tears fell slowly down Willow's face, she was expecting it, she had even in some respects braced herself mentally for it, but it couldn't still the blow of Tara's words. Words that cut deep to her very core. But laced within them were promises for the future, maybe they could still work it out, only time would tell. They had a long way to go before everything would be okay again but at least they had taken the first steps towards salvation.
Rating: Pg-13 for now
Feedback: hell yes! Either on the kitten or to laura_isaac@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: All characters in this story belong to Joss, I just play with them for a bit. The lyrics at the beginning are from "Too Lost In You" by the Sugababes (yes, I know but it fitted... )
Distribution: Anyone who wants it but let me know so my ego can be massaged!
Spoilers: S6 but not so much ep specific.
Summary: A letter from Willow - but will it help bring our girls back together?
Dedication: To Alice, you are my life - love always
"Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do
I'm too lost in you"
Tara caught Willow before her body went limp, gathering her exhausted body towards her with deft speed and agility, holding her close. She had been sitting alone in her dorm when it had hit her. Normally she was able to endure Willow's attacks at a safe distance resisting the urge to run to her, but she knew this one was different. Tearing out of her room, she ran towards Buffy's at breakneck speed, barging through the door without any explanation, upstairs just in time. And here she was now, one more with her lover, but not in the circumstances she would have preferred. She needed to help guide Willow through this before they could work on any kind of future.
Even in sleep Willow fought - the demons with her mind and body. Occasionally struggling against Tara's light restraint but not really causing any damage to herself or others around her. She had never seen Willow like this before. Sure, she had heard of Willow's pogress from her outtings with Dawn but she had never seen it with her own two eyes and what she saw worried her. She was weak, pale and so unlike the Willow she once knew and loved. Magic had really taken its toll on this once strong redhead. But she needed this woman, more than she needed to eat, breathe or sleep and she was going to help her, even if it killed her.
The minutes merged into hours and before Tara knew it morning had begun to break over the horizon, casting thin rays of light over the troubled lovers. Willow's struggling had ceased hours ago and she lay content in the blonde's arms, her face calm and peaceful; so unlike the events of last night - but how long would it last? Confusion suddenly hit Tara - could she stay like this, until Willow came to again? She didn't want to give Willow false hope that everything was once like they were becasue she was here but she needed to let Willow know that she was here for her - that she wasn't alone in this. She didn't want to leave this serenity but they needed to work through alot of tihngs before she allowed herself to safely fall back into old ways. Shifting upwards towards the foot of the bed Willow's grip tightened around her waist
"Tara?" - a question? a plea? Almost like a prayer from a Fallen Angel. In the calmest voice she could muster, one that would not give away her feelings she replied; "I'm here"
"Stay with me?" Willow pleaded once more "Please just hold me?" the voice was scarsely above a whisper but Tara heard it loud and clear as the words spoken echoed round her head. Could she do this? Could she stay neutral? She lay back in the bed and pulled Willow close, she could not deny her this, no matter how much her own feelings conflicted.
Tara jerked awake. How long had it been? Then everything that had happened before and earlier hit her again and she turned towards the redhead who still was sleeping, still oblivious to the dilema in the person next to her. How long could she remain this close to Willow and not give in to the urge to kiss her, to touch her, this woman who she loved more than life itself.
The sun sohne brightly through the window and outside the noise of industry and civilisation, a world away from the now calm of these four walls in which the two had spent so many nights of love filled passion. Again question, always questions, ran through Tara's brain; why had the Scoobies not come to help Willow? Had they totally given up on the person who had done so much to help them in the past? They too had made many mistakes and errors in their lives and been forgiven, was Willow so far removed from them? Where were they now?
Suddenly Tara was aware of eyes burning into her from below - she looked down and emerald eyes looked back up - weary, sullen eyes that showed so much and said so little but were like panes of glass, see-through but fragile. "Tara?" - the plea once more.
"Yes my love?" the answer, the endearment passed through her lips as naturally as breathing but she mentally cursed herself.
"Thank you for coming" a croaked voice, so unused to talking these days "I knew you would" Willow coughed, and then trying to get her breath again continued "The - the magic, its so powerful, its still inside, calling, waiting for the time I give in so it can take over. I'm trying so hard Tara - I really am. But I can't do this alone, I-"
She was cut off but a kiss on the forehead and the words; "Shhh, I'm here now, no-one will harm you, I will see to that. Willow smiled, a weak smile that was accompinied by the words "I love you Tara" - almost mumbled.
"I love you too Will. I never stopped. I needed to leave for so many reasons. My reasons are my own but you needed to make the first move. I couldn't do that for you. You needed to show that you valued what we had and were willing to start again. But I will do anything in my power to help you now - I will stay for now but..." Tara paused, not wanting to continue but she knew she had to "... I can't prmoise we'll be together at the end of it. We can't go back to the way we were, we need to talk, work at it, I need time, we need time Willow..."
Saying nothing Willow nodded, trying to take in what Tara had just said. Tears fell slowly down Willow's face, she was expecting it, she had even in some respects braced herself mentally for it, but it couldn't still the blow of Tara's words. Words that cut deep to her very core. But laced within them were promises for the future, maybe they could still work it out, only time would tell. They had a long way to go before everything would be okay again but at least they had taken the first steps towards salvation.