It wasn't supposed to be like this
the past 7 years weren't supposed to happen
scars on the mind
can't be fixed by simple words

He pops up when there is something to be done
not to chat
not to catch up on a game
but to talk about work of all things

This isn't fair
I am getting way to old for this
I need to settle down
have another chance at a 'normal life'

I miss him so much
he was my best friend
I know 'was' is pretence
but he's 'dead'
there isn't much I can do about that

Day by day
my life gets lonelier
I am beginning to separate myself
from the world I used to live in
was accustomed to

There are so many things I want to talk about
and will never have the chance
its like how I never had the chance to watch Charlie grow
I was robbed of that experience
by my *damn* gun
never able to fulfil the joy of watching my son grow up