by CNJ
I quietly mulled over Claudia and Kristy's holiday memories for a long minute. The holidays often cause me to ponder the mystery of why we're alive and whether there is magical and supernatural existence beyond the here and now. One holiday season in particular comes to my mind when two of my friends and I discussed the possibility and how it may have been a factor and shaping how we celebrate Christmas and Hanukkah today...
"It's snowing!" I crowed softly as Dad and I walked over to the Thomas's back when I was eight and in the third grade.
"It certainly is," Dad agreed. Light flakes drifted down from the powdery sky that late afternoon a week before Christmas and that first night of Hanukkah. Dad rang the Thomas's bell and Kristy and her mom joined us.
"Happy holidays!" we all greeted each other. We then walked over to Claud's house and Claudia and her mom, sister and grandmother joined us, then we headed to the Brickhursts' house down the street. As we walked, we talked and sang little carols.
There were already about ten others there when we got there. I felt a slight twinge of nervousness as I usually do when I'm meeting new people. Kristy and Claudia said hi right away and talked with the others. I waved timidly, then felt my face redden as I looked down.
"Hiii, love..." Ms. Brickhurst leaned toward me and touched my hair lightly. "Want to meet the others?" I looked up at her smiling face and nodded tentatively as she took my jacket.
"She's rather shy and reserved," Dad explained, stroking my shoulder. Bit by bit, I met some of the others, some of them kids our age. I found Kristy and Claudia and stayed with them and let them introduce me to the other kids. I slowly relaxed and looked around. The house was full of pretty decorations...some for Christmas and others for Hanukkah. The Brickhursts are a mix of Jewish and Catholic, so that wasn't surprising.
The grown-ups went into the kitchen and talked while we kids stayed in the rec room and ate, played and talked there. My friends and I saw a girl we knew from school, Emily Bernstein and she introduced us to her cousin, Lynn Bernstein.
"Since Hanukkah starts tonight, does anyone want dreidel-spinning?" Emily asked us all.
"Yeeahhh..." "Sure..." the rest of us chimed in. So we started. The game's actually fun. I'd played it a few years ago at Kristy's cousin's place back when we were in first grade. A girl next to us had never played before, so my friends and I taught her and gave her some pointers.
After about an hour of playing, Mr. Brickhurst called down, "Kids, we have another guest...come see..." So we did, tricking into the living room.
"Heyyyy, it's Santa Claus..." some kids gasped. Sure enough, a big man in a red suit stood in our living room, calling out loud hoho's for greetings. "Merrrry Christmas, kids!" he called. "Who'd like to have their picture taken with me?"
"Meeee!" almost everyone responded, including Kristy and Claudia. Part of me wanted to be in a picture, but part of me was feeling shy and anxious. I'd never been this close to a Santa before. I wondered as an eight-year-old, if it's true that Santa has magical powers. I guess it'd be a neat feeling, but at the same time, it made me rather shy.
I watched as kids one by one got their pictures snapped. Kristy got hers taken, then told me, "You're next." I shakily walked up, my heart hammering.
"Ho, don't be afraid, little girl..." the Santa cajoled. But I was rather afraid. Trembling, I walked close, feeling frightened with the others watching me. I don't like to be the center of attention and it made me nervous having this huge red-suited person put an arm around me.
I felt tears in my eyes and fought them back, willing myself not to cry. But as the camera snapped, a tear ran down my face. Once it was done, I scurried back into the group and let Claudia go up.
"Are you all right, love?" Dad whispered. I shook my head and he held me close as I cried softly. I kept my face buried until Santa had left.
"There, he's gone now," Claudia told me. I slowly pulled away.
"Feel better?" Dad asked. I nodded, wiping my face. Someone handed me a tissue and I wiped my face and nose, feeling a bit embarrassed at being the only kid so frightened of Santa.
"C'mon, it's time to eat," Ms. Thomas told us and we headed into the large kitchen, where a tall menorah decorated the table.
The sun had just set, so Ms. Brickhurst turned out the light and lit the first candle of the menorah. She and her husband sang a few Hanukkah songs, then most of us joined in.
It was a beautiful sight and it calmed me. I'd never really been to a menorah lighting since my dad and I don't practice any religion and neither do my friends. We then sat at the long table and ate and talked.
After dinner, we played a few more rounds of dreidel-spinning and had tea and Christmas cookies. The party turned out to be enjoyable after all.
"I wonder how much of the holidays is based on religious belief," Kristy later whispered as the three of us lay in bed at my house once we got back home. Kristy and Claudia had come to spend the night.
"I read somewhere that Christmas used to be a non-religious holiday," I told my friends. "Hanukkah was around then, but Christmas was started to break up the dark and monotony of the winter solstice in the north. Then once the Christians came to Europe, they added the Nativity part to it and a religious part to it. Something about a special baby being born around that time."
"Baby Jesus," Claudia supplied.
"What?" I asked, puzzled.
"That was the baby that came around that time...at least what most Christians believe."
"Oh..." I thought about it and it made sense.
"I wonder where the Santa idea came from," Kristy wondered. I didn't know and I don't think Claudia did, either but she guessed.
"Maybe he stemmed from the idea of presents for kids from the three persons bringing gifts to baby Jesus," she told us. We pondered it for a while.
"Could Santa and Jesus be magic people?" I wondered.
"It's possible," Kristy turned over. "Maybe that's part of why you got scared around Santa."
"Probably..." I said softly. "But I'm scared around even ordinary people I don't know. Sometimes I wish I wasn't."
"So we really don't know a lot about the people who actually started Christmas and Hanukkah and all," Claudia told us. "A lot of it is just mystery...like how oil for one candle lasted for eight days...could that have been magic?"
"It could have been," I turned my pillow over. It sure sounded like magic having oil for just one day in an abandoned temple, then by some miracle having it last for eight days.
We whispered a few more things back and forth, thinking over the possibility that there was a such thing as magic. Perhaps religious beliefs are one way to explain magic or whatever it is we can't explain.
I thought that back then and often think of it today. It's a complex mystery that I doubt anyone will find the answer to in many more decades, maybe centuries to come. I looked over at Claudia and Kristy now, who were nodding solemnly at my memory.
"Hey, you weren't afraid of Santa this year when you worked at the mall, were you?" Abby quipped. We all chuckled softly.
"No," I grinned. Although I am glad I got that holiday bill paid off since no magic can undo a huge bill.
Stacey's face became thoughtful as she munched on a low-sugar candy bar, then looked at it a minute before she added her holiday thoughts...
CNJ is one of the original authors in the BSC category of ff.net. She has written a multitude of fanfics, many of them centering around Mary Anne, and is best known for "You're Coming A Long Way Mary Anne", "Evolutions Coinciding", "When New York City's Tears Dry", "Roommate Lost and Remembered", "Edge of Darkness", and The BSC Legacy Series that has its own fan club on Yahoo.