by Ballet Princess
"Well," I started "I guess most of my Christmases have been pretty ordinary. Before the divorce it was just Mom, Dad and I. All my grandparents lived too far away to visit for the holidays, so we always had a nice quiet little celebration. Although there was this one Christmas..."
"Yeah?" asked Kristy eagerily
"But it's kind of hard for me to talk about."
"Oh come on," coaxed Abby "We're all friends here."
"But you don't have to talk about anything you don't want to," MaryAnne reminded me.
"It's okay." I said. "I guess it's time to talk about it." I took a deep breath and began my story...
When I was in sixth grade, my life wasn't the greatest. In fact in my eyes, it had kind of sucked. I had big hopes for that year- I was going to get stellar grades and make the soccer team. But then I got diagnosed with Diabetes and none of those things happened. Worse yet, a lot of my friends started avoiding me, I guess because they didn't really understand Diabetes, and they were scared. So the holiday break was a welcome change for me, and I couldn't wait for it to start.
On the first day of break, my family always went to get our Christmas tree. Even though we lived in an apartment, my parents felt that getting a real tree was a must for the holidays, so that Friday evening we all piled into our car and drove to a Christmas tree lot to pick out a tree. We'd been going to the same lot for years, so the owners, an older couple recognized us.
"Well!" said Mrs. Johnson (one of the owners) when we piled out of the station wagon, "If it isn't the merry McGills!"
"Hi Doris," my Dad replied "Have you saved us the pick of the lot again this year?"
"I have the best pines right over there, take your pick and I'll see what I can do about a discount."
"Thanks, Doris. Maureen, shall we take a look?"
We trooped through the snow over to the trees, and within minutes my parents had picked out a gorgeous, tall pine with the greenest leaves I'd ever seen and a delicious smell."
While Mr. Johnson rang up the tree, my Mom and I chatted with Mrs. Johnson.
"I can't believe how big your daughter is getting," Mrs. Johnson said to Mom. "How old is she now?"
"Eleven," my mom replied. "She's in sixth grade at Parker Academy."
"My, my. Oh! I almost forgot I have some fresh hot cocoa in the house. Would you like some?"
I had always loved hot cocoa, especially at the Johnson. It was creamy and rich, with little marshmellows and a sprinkle of cinnamon. I almost accepted, until I remember how sweet the cocoa was. The Johnsons usually dumped about a cup of sugar into it.
"I'd love some," said my mom "But Stacey can't. She was just diagnosed with Diabetes and sweet drinks are no-no."
Geez, I thought. I could have just said no thanks. But noooo... my mom had to start going into the whole thing with Mrs. Johnson. It would have been nice to go one night, especially this night, without talking about my diabetes.
"That's too bad," Mrs. Johnson was saying, "You know my sister has diabetes..."
Who cares? I thought. Your sister has the old people type of diabetes. It's totally different than mine. I wanted to hit my mom and Mrs. Johnson.
"Are we ready?" my dad asked interuppting us
Thank God. We tied the tree in back of the station wagon and we were off. I didn't say anything on the car ride home, and my holiday spirit was definitely damped. That incident was only the beginning of several. I had never realized how much sugar was a part of the Christmas season, and for the first time in my eleven years I began to hate the holidays.
Later that week, on our last day of school before break, our class had a Christmas party. Since it was a private school, we could get away with that. We did a grab bag, and in addition everyone in our class was supposed to bring a treat to share. So I brought a liter of diet soda, and I bought a really cute teddy bear for the grab bag (they were boy and girl separate, so I didn't have to worry about a guy getting a bear). Anyway, the party started at 1:00, and our class set everything up on the tables. I was looking around, and everyone was pulling tins of brownies, cookies and cupcakes out.
"Hey Laine," I said to my best friend (at the time). "What did you bring?"
Laine pulls her tin out of her bag. "Brownies."
"Oh." I know Laine could probably tell I was disappointed that I could get what she had brought, because she shrugged.
"I didn't have time to get anything, I just got them at deli."
I nodded, trying to be understanding, but I was crushed. As far as I could tell, no one had brought anything I could eat. I mean, granted I probably could have eaten a cookie or two, but I definitely couldn't pig out the way the other kids could. I felt so left out. I talked to our teacher who was nice enough to let me go to the vending machine in the teacher's lounge and buy a bag of potato chips, but I had to pay for the chips myself, and somehow buying them from a machine wasn't as fun. Oh well, I thought. I had at least the grab bag to look forward to, or so I thought.
"Okay kids, let's get in two groups, boys and girls so we can start the grab!" Our teacher announced.
I found a seat between Laine and her friend Allison Ritz. Everyone put their gift into a pillowcase the teacher had brought, and the she walked around the circle and everyone pulled out a gift. I reached in and pulled out a small, square box. When everyone had a gift, we could all unwrap them. Excitedly, I pulled the green and red paper off my box. I pulled my gift out and stared in shock at it. Staring back at me was a Lifesavers Sweet Storybook. You know, the kind that has like six different kinds of lifesavers in it?
"Oh," I said. "Um… thanks to whoever this is from…"
"It's mine." Allison Ritz said.
"Oh. Well, thanks." I said half-heartedly
Laine looked at both of us. She could probably tell that I was disappointed, but didn't know what to do about. She looked at her gift, it was a candy cane filled with Hershey's Kisses.
"Hey Stace, I'd offer to trade, but..."
I gave her a small smile. "Really, it's okay."
I looked at Allison, cradling a fuzzy toy snowman. Looking around the circle, I realized that the snowman and my teddy bear (who a girl named Julie had gotten) were the only two gifts that didn't involve candy. I wanted to ask Allison if we could switch, but I just couldn't I had a bad past with her, and I couldn't do it. So I put the lifesavers in my bag to use as "low-candy".
By the time Christmas Eve rolled around a few days later, I wasn't in a good mood. Everywhere I turned the holidays had sweets and food associated with it- candy, cookies, hot chocolate, eggnog. All things I couldn't eat. I didn't even want to get out of bed that morning, but I had to. It was a Christmas tradition for us to spend Christmas Eve with Laine's family. We had dinner, exchanged presents, sang carols and then watched Christmas Day roll in from one of our apartments. This year, the Cummings were coming here. I spent the morning baking, cleaning and wrapping gifts. By 4:00 I was ready, even if I wasn't happy.
I remember Laine and her parents being buzzed up to our apartment knocking on the door. They came in, all bundled up and loaded down with bags and boxes, and my mom and I helped them unpack everything in the kitchen. The first tin I pulled out was full of cookies.
"Ohhh," I thought to myself, until Laine's mom came over to me.
"Stacey, these cookies are for you. I got them special at the bakery… they're sugar-free, made with fruit juice. I tried one myself and I must say, they're delicious."
I tried a cookie right then and there, and it did taste pretty good. Then Laine and her dad pulled out all the fixings for a turkey, mashed potatoes and a loaf of fresh baked bread.
"We wanted to make sure you could eat everything Stace," said Laine "So we don't have any cranberry sauce or anything!"
That did it. Tears began to form in my eyes. I managed to give a 'thank you' to Laine and her parents before I became a total mess. Laine put her arm around me, and we went to my room where she helped me fix myself up. Before we went back to the living room to eat with our parents, Laine pulled a small box out of her purse.
"This is for you," she said "I got something extra, because of what happened with the grab bag. I know you were hurt. I tried to talk to Allison Ritz, but she, well, she was being a pain in the butt about it. Here, open it."
I took the little silver wrapped box and opened it up. Inside lay a beautiful pair of snowflake earrings. They were dangly, painted white and covered with glitter.
"Thank you!" I cried, giving Laine a hug.
She hugged me back and laughed. "Don't thank me yet! You have more presents coming!"
We both giggled and went to join our parents.
I turned to my friends.
"That," I said "Was when I really learned what Christmas was all about. It wasn't about food, or grab bags… it's about love and friendship. Even though Laine and I aren't friends anymore, I still remember that Christmas and it feels like no time has past. She taught me an important lesson about the spirit of the holiday, one that I've carried with me even through the divorce."
I looked at MaryAnne, who was crying up a river. "That so (sniff) sweet (sniff)."
Mallory handed her a tissue.
"Hey," said Kristy, "Speaking of divorce, you know who we should call?"
"Dawn!" Jessi, Claudia and I said at the same time.
MaryAnne stopped crying for a minute and smiled. "I'll dial if you want."
Kristy nodded, and MaryAnne picked up the phone and punched out Dawn's number in California.
BalletPrincess is another long-time writer in the BSC category of ff.net.
She is the author of "Stacey's Journal", "Return to Camp Mohawk", "Chaos for Kristy", and "The REAL
Truth About Stacey." She also plays two characters in the babysit RPG.