Chapter 6: La Explanation, La Gundam, and Lahore.
A/N: Zippy and Chunks would like to apologize to all the people who take all of the DC Comics really seriously, because we are going to do such major tweakage that they will want to kill us slowly. So please don't, and please understand that this probably happens in an alternate universe, as you don't see many people wearing Star-Spangled underwear or people with big wings and/or tight spandex running around Times Square. And where in bejesus is Gotham City, anyways? So, please be kind, and accept the changes that we, the authors, have invoked upon your favorite characters.
Disclaimer: the original concepts of these characters/locations/objects/t.v. shows are not ours, but we change them and add personalities and use them in ways that we don't think they have been used before. Therefore, the characters/locations/objects in this story are uniquely ours. Please don't be mad at us. We are just two girls with some fun story ideas. ^_^ Rock on, all!
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ IN THE FOREST, KINDA
"So I got really drunk."
"Yes."
"And you somehow found Diana's Invisible Jet."
"Yes."
"And you flew me up to the Watchtower in the jet."
"Yes."
"And what happened after that?"
"Well, you were still kinda tipsy, so I had to help you walk. GL was in the kitchen, and he came over to see what was up. You then walked right up to him and kissed him."
"I WHAT?"
"Yeah. I didn't think it was fair that he was getting all the action, so I steered you away towards your room. When we got there, I wasn't sure how you slept, so I put you face down on your bed, took your mace as a hangover precaution, and went to bed."
"And that's all that happened?"
"Yeah. Pretty much. . . ."
"Pretty much?"
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ MEANWHILE:
Green Lantern and J'Onn J'Onzz were frantically trying to finish their Level 5 Gundam model. They were trying to beat the record of a five hour assembly. Wonder Woman was acting the part of their lovely assistant, holding the base so they could work on the wings. GL was just adding the final touches when Batman walked in, having completed his installation of the AOL thingiemawhatsit.
Diana stood up and strode out of the room, pulling the base with her.
"Heydianawereallyneedtha-" J'Onn just grimaced as the door slammed behind her and the model fell into bunches of tiny little pieces.
"God damn it, Batman! You had to walk in, didn't you? Now we have to start all over again!" cried Green Lantern plaintively.
The Bat replied, aloof as ever, "Not my problem. I'm going home. I've finished installing the program."
"Great . . . just great . . ." GL, still irritated, ignored Batman as he tried to recover what was left of the model and muttered under his breath, "Just 'cause you can't keep it in your rubber suit doesn't mean the rest of us should suffer . . ."
Batman swooshed out with his cape.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ BACK IN THE FOREST- PLACE-THINGIE
"What do you mean 'pretty much'?"
"I . . . er . . .uh . . .well . . .um . . . yeah . . . kinda saw down you shirt when I was . . . uh . . . carrying you . . . er . . ." Flash put his hand behind his head sheepishly (classic Goku style, DBZ fans).
Hawkgirl quickly started to blush a deep crimson. Flash's incredibly sympathetic response to this was, "Hey you match my outfit!"
Hawkgirl's response to THAT was "YOU PERVERT!" and a nice swing with that handy little electric mace. MMm. . . . violence. . . . She then darted into the noon sky, UP UP AND AWAY!!! (no obvious reference to Superman, of course.)
Flash was getting hungry. All this thinking was making him hungry. **All this thinking is making me hungry. And redundant redundant. Hmm, are there any more fishsticks up in the freezer?**
Yes, yes there are. Go eat, oh skinny white boy.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ AT THE LOCAL QUIK-E- MART
"Hmm. . . . 'Bread and Butter' Pickles. . . ." Superman, now in his guise of Clark Kent, incredibly naïve reporter for the 'Daily Planet,' perused the aisle for pickles. His basket dangled from the crook of his elbow, already filling with the Teriyaki Beef Jerky and other random assorted foodstuffs so graciously requested by the increasingly hormonal Lois.
He plucked the jar of "Bread and Butter" pickles off the shelf and added it to his basket. Had to be "Bread and Butter." None of this "Sweet" or "Dill" nonsense for Lois. Oh no, she had to have the kind that he could never find. Now on to the ice cream. Two gallons of "Chocolate Malted Crunch" and a half-pint of Ben and Jerry's "Chunky Monkey." Great. **Where is the frickin ice cream?!?!?!**
"Keen I hep you, sir? Ees there anyting I can do for yoo?" asked the very helpful Pakistani owner. (Imagine the cool Pakistani accent here, people. Again, no offense to any Pakistanis. We just think your accent is awfully nifty. Word up.)
Clark hefted the bucket of Malted Crunch onto the counter. "No thanks. I'm good." He put the basket next to the two gallon container. He then adjusted his glasses and pulled out his wallet.
"That will bee twentie-seeks feefty, sir." ($26.50 for those who can't bother to say it aloud)
Clark handed him $30 and said, "Keep the change."
The store owner's eyes brightened. "Thenk you, sir. Perhaps now I keen visit my family in my homeland."
"Oh, where are you from," inquired Clark, "India?"
The owner drew himself up proudly. "No sir. I am from Lahore of Pakistan."
Clark raised an eyebrow as he gathered up his bags. "Uh, yeah. . ." he said, "good luck with that . . . "
"Thank yoo, come again!"
(Cultural note for my fellow Americans: Lahore is an actual city in Pakistan. You all should read up on it, you ill-educated swine. ^_^)
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ BACK IN THE WATCHTOWER
Green Lantern had gathered up the remnants of his Gundam model and stalked off to his room. Flash had arrived earlier and stuffed himself full of crispy, golden-brown, fish stick goodness. He then passed out on the couch because the poor dear had had a long day. Aww. . . .the unfortunate little darling. Diana had locked herself in her bedroom, listening to "Aase's Death" by Edvard Grieg. Batman was skulking in Gotham, Hawkgirl was still soaring in the wild blue yonder, and Superman was busy coaxing Lois to STOP EATING ICE CREAM. Martian Manhunter was slowly attempting to bash in a wall with his head. The voices, the voices!
Well, okay, J'Onn was having some problems. This telepathy thing was getting to be quite a hassle. Frankly, these guys were thinking things that he just DID NOT WANT TO KNOW. Take a peek inside the chat room that he had the privilege of experiencing:
**Oh, yes please, right there!**
**Yup, gonna kill.**
**What does that mean? What kind of joke is 'that's my fish in your pants'?**
**Everglade Snail Kites are endangered animals.**
**If you tie toast butter side up to the back of a cat and drop it, what will happen?**
**You make me throw up a little.**
**Damn, this smells like butt!**
**The old grey mare, she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be. . . .**
**I think the Wonder Twins were gettin' it on. And that's really kinky. 'Cause why did they have a monkey?**
And there was also a voiceless presence. It was unfamiliar to the Martian, which was odd, because he knew everyone that came on this station. There were hints of the familiar about it, but it was odd. There were no coherent thoughts, just a sense of BEING. He felt it. J'Onn began randomly phasing in and out of the space station.
Checked in the living room. Only Flash, passed out on the couch, snoring like a locomotive.
Checked in the kitchen. Nope, empty.
How about the docking bay? No, there was no one in there but the Javelin. And the Invisible Jet. Possibly. It was hard to tell.
So Martian Manhunter started checking bedrooms. Flash wasn't in his, for obvious reasons, and neither were Hawkgirl, Superman, or Batman. GL's room was normal. Well, moderately. There was KrazyGlue everywhere, and GL's hand was stuck to the Gundam's face because of that, but whatever. His own personal room was empty, as everyone was too freaked out by his mind- reading SKILLZ to ever try to mess with his stuff. That left. . .
. . . Diana's room. Who could be in there with her? He quickly phased in front of her door.
"Diana? It is J'Onn. Are you okay?"
-
-
A/N: Well that was fun. We apologize about not updating, but you know how it goes. Random silliness awaits you in the next chapter, so look forward to that . . . whenever it may arrive. We're not promising any upcoming dates for you, so you'll have to just buckle down and be patient. Put please review anyways, because reviewing encourages us to write faster. We are bummed at our number of reviews. Please make us happy. Happy writers are fast writers. Indeed. If you are the lazy type, just pull a trick like A-man and just put one word. Nice! If you REALLY like us, review the story under both of the authors (authoresses?).
Ed has lost herself. But she's looking for her.
Ein is still squeaking. Squeaking madly.
Zim says, "YOU ALL SPEAK CRAZINESS!!!!!!!!!!"
Fez says, "Good day. No, I say 'Good Day!'"
Chunks says: Whot, whot?
Zippy says: "And I love YOU, and I love YOU, and YOU are really hot, and I love YOU a lot too, and YOU are-"
Alright, that's enough of that. REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^ Word up . . .
A/N: Zippy and Chunks would like to apologize to all the people who take all of the DC Comics really seriously, because we are going to do such major tweakage that they will want to kill us slowly. So please don't, and please understand that this probably happens in an alternate universe, as you don't see many people wearing Star-Spangled underwear or people with big wings and/or tight spandex running around Times Square. And where in bejesus is Gotham City, anyways? So, please be kind, and accept the changes that we, the authors, have invoked upon your favorite characters.
Disclaimer: the original concepts of these characters/locations/objects/t.v. shows are not ours, but we change them and add personalities and use them in ways that we don't think they have been used before. Therefore, the characters/locations/objects in this story are uniquely ours. Please don't be mad at us. We are just two girls with some fun story ideas. ^_^ Rock on, all!
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ IN THE FOREST, KINDA
"So I got really drunk."
"Yes."
"And you somehow found Diana's Invisible Jet."
"Yes."
"And you flew me up to the Watchtower in the jet."
"Yes."
"And what happened after that?"
"Well, you were still kinda tipsy, so I had to help you walk. GL was in the kitchen, and he came over to see what was up. You then walked right up to him and kissed him."
"I WHAT?"
"Yeah. I didn't think it was fair that he was getting all the action, so I steered you away towards your room. When we got there, I wasn't sure how you slept, so I put you face down on your bed, took your mace as a hangover precaution, and went to bed."
"And that's all that happened?"
"Yeah. Pretty much. . . ."
"Pretty much?"
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ MEANWHILE:
Green Lantern and J'Onn J'Onzz were frantically trying to finish their Level 5 Gundam model. They were trying to beat the record of a five hour assembly. Wonder Woman was acting the part of their lovely assistant, holding the base so they could work on the wings. GL was just adding the final touches when Batman walked in, having completed his installation of the AOL thingiemawhatsit.
Diana stood up and strode out of the room, pulling the base with her.
"Heydianawereallyneedtha-" J'Onn just grimaced as the door slammed behind her and the model fell into bunches of tiny little pieces.
"God damn it, Batman! You had to walk in, didn't you? Now we have to start all over again!" cried Green Lantern plaintively.
The Bat replied, aloof as ever, "Not my problem. I'm going home. I've finished installing the program."
"Great . . . just great . . ." GL, still irritated, ignored Batman as he tried to recover what was left of the model and muttered under his breath, "Just 'cause you can't keep it in your rubber suit doesn't mean the rest of us should suffer . . ."
Batman swooshed out with his cape.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ BACK IN THE FOREST- PLACE-THINGIE
"What do you mean 'pretty much'?"
"I . . . er . . .uh . . .well . . .um . . . yeah . . . kinda saw down you shirt when I was . . . uh . . . carrying you . . . er . . ." Flash put his hand behind his head sheepishly (classic Goku style, DBZ fans).
Hawkgirl quickly started to blush a deep crimson. Flash's incredibly sympathetic response to this was, "Hey you match my outfit!"
Hawkgirl's response to THAT was "YOU PERVERT!" and a nice swing with that handy little electric mace. MMm. . . . violence. . . . She then darted into the noon sky, UP UP AND AWAY!!! (no obvious reference to Superman, of course.)
Flash was getting hungry. All this thinking was making him hungry. **All this thinking is making me hungry. And redundant redundant. Hmm, are there any more fishsticks up in the freezer?**
Yes, yes there are. Go eat, oh skinny white boy.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ AT THE LOCAL QUIK-E- MART
"Hmm. . . . 'Bread and Butter' Pickles. . . ." Superman, now in his guise of Clark Kent, incredibly naïve reporter for the 'Daily Planet,' perused the aisle for pickles. His basket dangled from the crook of his elbow, already filling with the Teriyaki Beef Jerky and other random assorted foodstuffs so graciously requested by the increasingly hormonal Lois.
He plucked the jar of "Bread and Butter" pickles off the shelf and added it to his basket. Had to be "Bread and Butter." None of this "Sweet" or "Dill" nonsense for Lois. Oh no, she had to have the kind that he could never find. Now on to the ice cream. Two gallons of "Chocolate Malted Crunch" and a half-pint of Ben and Jerry's "Chunky Monkey." Great. **Where is the frickin ice cream?!?!?!**
"Keen I hep you, sir? Ees there anyting I can do for yoo?" asked the very helpful Pakistani owner. (Imagine the cool Pakistani accent here, people. Again, no offense to any Pakistanis. We just think your accent is awfully nifty. Word up.)
Clark hefted the bucket of Malted Crunch onto the counter. "No thanks. I'm good." He put the basket next to the two gallon container. He then adjusted his glasses and pulled out his wallet.
"That will bee twentie-seeks feefty, sir." ($26.50 for those who can't bother to say it aloud)
Clark handed him $30 and said, "Keep the change."
The store owner's eyes brightened. "Thenk you, sir. Perhaps now I keen visit my family in my homeland."
"Oh, where are you from," inquired Clark, "India?"
The owner drew himself up proudly. "No sir. I am from Lahore of Pakistan."
Clark raised an eyebrow as he gathered up his bags. "Uh, yeah. . ." he said, "good luck with that . . . "
"Thank yoo, come again!"
(Cultural note for my fellow Americans: Lahore is an actual city in Pakistan. You all should read up on it, you ill-educated swine. ^_^)
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ BACK IN THE WATCHTOWER
Green Lantern had gathered up the remnants of his Gundam model and stalked off to his room. Flash had arrived earlier and stuffed himself full of crispy, golden-brown, fish stick goodness. He then passed out on the couch because the poor dear had had a long day. Aww. . . .the unfortunate little darling. Diana had locked herself in her bedroom, listening to "Aase's Death" by Edvard Grieg. Batman was skulking in Gotham, Hawkgirl was still soaring in the wild blue yonder, and Superman was busy coaxing Lois to STOP EATING ICE CREAM. Martian Manhunter was slowly attempting to bash in a wall with his head. The voices, the voices!
Well, okay, J'Onn was having some problems. This telepathy thing was getting to be quite a hassle. Frankly, these guys were thinking things that he just DID NOT WANT TO KNOW. Take a peek inside the chat room that he had the privilege of experiencing:
**Oh, yes please, right there!**
**Yup, gonna kill.**
**What does that mean? What kind of joke is 'that's my fish in your pants'?**
**Everglade Snail Kites are endangered animals.**
**If you tie toast butter side up to the back of a cat and drop it, what will happen?**
**You make me throw up a little.**
**Damn, this smells like butt!**
**The old grey mare, she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be. . . .**
**I think the Wonder Twins were gettin' it on. And that's really kinky. 'Cause why did they have a monkey?**
And there was also a voiceless presence. It was unfamiliar to the Martian, which was odd, because he knew everyone that came on this station. There were hints of the familiar about it, but it was odd. There were no coherent thoughts, just a sense of BEING. He felt it. J'Onn began randomly phasing in and out of the space station.
Checked in the living room. Only Flash, passed out on the couch, snoring like a locomotive.
Checked in the kitchen. Nope, empty.
How about the docking bay? No, there was no one in there but the Javelin. And the Invisible Jet. Possibly. It was hard to tell.
So Martian Manhunter started checking bedrooms. Flash wasn't in his, for obvious reasons, and neither were Hawkgirl, Superman, or Batman. GL's room was normal. Well, moderately. There was KrazyGlue everywhere, and GL's hand was stuck to the Gundam's face because of that, but whatever. His own personal room was empty, as everyone was too freaked out by his mind- reading SKILLZ to ever try to mess with his stuff. That left. . .
. . . Diana's room. Who could be in there with her? He quickly phased in front of her door.
"Diana? It is J'Onn. Are you okay?"
-
-
A/N: Well that was fun. We apologize about not updating, but you know how it goes. Random silliness awaits you in the next chapter, so look forward to that . . . whenever it may arrive. We're not promising any upcoming dates for you, so you'll have to just buckle down and be patient. Put please review anyways, because reviewing encourages us to write faster. We are bummed at our number of reviews. Please make us happy. Happy writers are fast writers. Indeed. If you are the lazy type, just pull a trick like A-man and just put one word. Nice! If you REALLY like us, review the story under both of the authors (authoresses?).
Ed has lost herself. But she's looking for her.
Ein is still squeaking. Squeaking madly.
Zim says, "YOU ALL SPEAK CRAZINESS!!!!!!!!!!"
Fez says, "Good day. No, I say 'Good Day!'"
Chunks says: Whot, whot?
Zippy says: "And I love YOU, and I love YOU, and YOU are really hot, and I love YOU a lot too, and YOU are-"
Alright, that's enough of that. REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^ Word up . . .