Chapter 10: Queer Eye for the "Straight" Alien.
-
A/N: you think you know, but you have NO idea. We don't either.
Claimdiser: what?
-
-
It was weird enough when Green Lantern walked into the living room naked, his bath towel abandoned somewhere back in the hall. It was even stranger when Hawkgirl pranced, we repeat, PRANCED, in behind him. Wearing a pink, SHORT, miniskirt. [Bad pink! Pink is bad!] But the worst thing came when Superman burst out, "Shut up! Carson is a genius!!" and started weeping like a small girl child.
Batman quirked an eyebrow.
"Holy drugged up Watchtower, Batman," muttered a disheveled J'Onn who was frantically pulling on his uniform briefs.
"More like holy. . . . shit," the Dark Knight replied.
"This show is so stupid, Supes," Flash drawled. "I don't even know why you watch it."
"No it isn't! **sniff, sniff** Just because you are among the unfashionable doesn't make it a stupid thing to watch!" was Superman's muffled response from the fetal position.
"I'd get up and fight you about that . . . but that would take effort," Flash said slowly, then promptly began dozing, even though Wonder Woman had just strutted by in a sheer black lace nightie, her rear end exactly at his eye level. And he did nothing. NOTHING. FLASH. DID NOTHING. Odd?
J'Onn sighed as he pulled on his red suspenders. "They've been this way since I got back."
Batman turned to him and asked, "When did you get back?"
"About ten minutes ago. I was on Earth. Otherwise occupied."
Diana was now SITTING in Superman's lap, coyly batting her eyelashes, but again her tricks were to no avail. He seemed completely unattracted to her. . . . And in the background Hawkgirl walked into a wall, gave a high pitched squeak of a giggle, and walked into the wall again.
". . ." was the only response Batman could muster.
GL walked by again, shaving cream dripping slightly off his face, still naked as a jaybird, with a piece of toilet paper stuck to his heel and trailing behind him.
"I too am dumbfounded," commented J'Onn.
Flash had now slipped into a catatonic state, with drool dribbling down his chin. Superman made a grimace, politely shoved Diana off his lap, and used a clean hanky to delicately wipe off the slime. "That's disgusting," he shuddered.
Diana stood up in a huff and tried repositioning her breasts, as they had begun to fall out of her top in all the excitement.
J'Onn winced. "I've just seen more of Diana than I'd ever intended."
Batman was silent.
As GL continued walking about, penis first, like an African king (no offense to African kings; we just find amusement in this sexiness), Martian Manhunter and Batman went into the relatively calm kitchen.
"Okay J'Onn, what's all this about? They weren't this weird when I last left them."
"No. No they weren't. Something in the air?"
Batman shook his head no. "That would affect us as well."
J'onn pondered for a moment, then asked, "Something in the water, then?" Again, Batman shook his head. "The filtration system is far too advanced. Besides, that system is rigged with poison and tampering alarms. We would've known much earlier than now if it was the water."
J'Onn seemed disheartened. He looked around the kitchen, orange eyes alighting on the refrigerator. "Perhaps it was something they ate."
"Hmm . . . well do you have any idea what that might be?" inquired Space Detective Batman (now with retractable wings!).
J'Onn opened cupboards and peered inside. "All these are unopened containers. Diana and I went shopping quite recently."
"Yes, I remember." He rummaged through the fridge, pulling out various suspicious looking jars and Tupperware containers. A loud shriek from the living room made him stand up quickly, and he bumped his head on the inside of the fridge. "DAMMIT."
After putting the jars on a nearby counter space, Batman hurried to the door to see what was wrong. "It's okay, J'Onn. Hawkgirl just discovered how to open a door. Hey, can you find something to put these jars in?"
The Martian pulled out a paper bag from under the sink and started packing containers in it neatly. "Why am I doing this, Batman?"
"I'm going to take it to my lab for analysis. I don't have the technology to do it up here." He picked up a bag and walked towards the hangar. Through the living room. The living room of death.
Batman was blocked by a sultry-eyed Wonder Woman, who brushed up against him.
He almost dropped the bag.
Way to not be smooth, Bats. But it would be difficult to concentrate with Diana murmuring sweet nothings into your ear, wouldn't it? And popping out of her top.
He hurriedly swerved around her, and would've made a quick getaway, but J'Onn grabbed his arm.
"Take me with you."
"Someone should stay and keep an eye on them."
Green Lantern ran by yelling about Davy Jones' Locker, pursued by Hawkgirl asking "WHAT'S THAT???" and Superman screeching, "Give me back my boa!" Flash was still not moving. Okay, well he twitched.
"Please," pleaded the Martian, his eyes beginning to dart frantically. "Don't leave me here . . . Not with them . . . Not alone . . ."
A fluffy red feather floated down and landed on Batman's shoulder. "Fine. Come on."
Diana pouted and straddled an arm of the couch as Batman pulled the Martian Manhunter towards his Batjet.
"What is the hurry, Batman?"
"I need a cold shower."
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ IN THE BATCAVE
J'Onn unpacked the bag of opened foodstuffs as Batman took the aforementioned cold shower. His eyes were drawn to an abnormally large penny in a crevice of the Batcave. It had to be at least fifty feet tall, and was strikingly clean and shiny. J'Onn didn't even have to ask why. He knew. And he wished he didn't.
Bruce walked over to the waiting Martian, surprisingly with his mask off, although he was wearing the main components of his rubber uniform.
"An odd display of trust, Batman."
"Not like I can hide anything from you anyways."
"Indeed. So, these . . . things." He waved a green hand over the bowls and jars.
"Oh, yes. We can run them through my chemical analysis machine. It will compare the makeup of the food from the Watchtower to identical foods that have been approved by the FDA. Any foreign particles will be identified, and we can view the results on my really, really big screen. I have more than a million products chemically scanned into my computer."
"Allow me to guess: Your BatScan?"
"Yes."
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ BACK IN THE WATCHTOWER
Hawkgirl held a permanent marker up to her nose and smiled. "It smells like happy. . ."
Flash started to reach over and snatch the marker from her before she got high off the fumes, but in the end he decided that was taking decidedly too much effort and he slouched further into the couch. He closed his eyes to block out the sight of GL doing the "Funky Chicken Dance."
Superman did a pirouette a little too quickly and slid off the dining room table.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ BATCAVE, AGAIN
"Normal. . . . Normal . . . . Disgusting, but normal. . . . I thought Superman was allergic to strawberries. Well, normal. . . . normal . . . Batman, I'm not reading anything unusual."
"Keep looking. We still have the ham, the sauerkraut, and the freezer foods to go through."
::sigh:: "Alright. The ham is normal. . . . sauerkraut normal. . . . ice cream, normal . . . stir fry, normal. . . . fishsticks nor-wait!"
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ WATCHTOWER, AGAIN
The phone rang. ("We screen. Zoom in on the answering machine!") Green Lantern picked it up, still in the buff. "Uhh. . . . hello?"
"Hello. . . This is Lois. Is um. . . . Superman in?"
"Umm . . . in a manner of speaking. Actually, he's starting to be a little out. I can't find my toes."
"Pardon?"
"One moment, please, while our operators connect you to the nearest superhero." He put the phone down on the counter and yelled. Hawkgirl, after some bumps, wrong turns, and minor epiphanies, made her way over and picked up the phone.
"=giggle giggle="
"Superman?"
"No, you silly! I'm a GIRL!"
"I need to talk to SUPERMAN."
"He's busy right now."
"What on EARTH could he be doing that is more important than listening to what I have to say?"
"Umm. . . . well I think he would talk, but he's painting his nai--oh, he's signaling me. Umm, two words. First word, one syllable. . . Umm, Fall? Noose? Dead? Fish? Hang? OHHH OOHH I GOT IT!!! Okay wait, second word. Sky, ceiling, umm . . . stars? Space? Umm. . . ."
"I NEED TO TALK TO SUPERMAN. PUT HIM ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW!!!!!"
"Oh! Up! Thanks, Flash! So that's . . . hang . . . up . . . Oh I get it! Hang up!"
=Dial tone=
The muscle below Lois's eye gave a dangerous twitch.
Back in the Watchtower, Flash slapped his head. Slowly. "We're doomed."
Hawkgirl giggled madly "I'm so good at this game! Let's play another. How about . . . umm . . . what?"
Wonder Woman was draped over a divan. We don't know where it came from, but it was there. Just like her new corset and stockings. We don't ask.
GL wandered over to her. "Nice garters."
"Thanks. Nice. . . . never mind."
"Nachos. I have a new mix CD. Have YOU seen my toes?"
Superman was now braiding Hawkgirl's hair into two piggy tails. He wrapped the elastic around the end of one, and was about to start on the other.
=EEEPP= =EEEPP= =EEEPP= =EEEPP?= =EEEPP=
Red lights near the ceiling were flashing, piercing alarms were sounding, and Pious Cal was Throbbing. Everyone started leaning a bit to the side, but only slightly. A mechanical, woman's voice came over the intercom, "Danger. Danger. Orbit compromised. Orbit compromised. Losing altitude. Time to impact: four hours and twelve minutes."
Flash perked up. "¿Qué qué?"
GL blinked, looked down, and turned bright red. Difficult for a dark guy, but yeah. . . . He ducked behind the couch. No one was looking his way, so he grabbed a table cloth, wrapped it around himself, and sprinted to his quarters.
Superman was shrieking, Diana was running around in circles, and Hawkgirl was now purposefully beating her head on the wall. It was pandemonium.
Flash slowly ascended from the couch. "HEY!!! SHUT UP!!! We still have over four hours. And I am NOT spending my last moments listening to you all freak out."
GL returned to the room, fully clothed in his spandex. "I still can't find my toes. . ."
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ BATCAVE
"According to this report, these fishsticks have a diluted portion of the CIA's truth serum in the batter. You wouldn't notice it at first, but if you were to eat, say a lot of fishsticks, it might make you start acting funny. Perhaps loosen your inhibitions, or make you act in a way quite unlike your usual self."
"I see, J'Onn. So, Diana loses modesty, Green Lantern loses his self control, Hawkgirl submits to that girlie girl that's in there, somewhere. Flash lacks motivation and energy, and Superman. . . ." Batman started to chuckle.
J'Onn looked puzzled. "I do not understand. Why is his behaviour so amusing?"
"Didn't you notice how feminine he was acting?"
"Well yes, but I do not see why it is humourous."
"Well, because he's just . . . well everyone always perceives him as being really, I don't know, manly. And so when he starts acting a little . . . um . . . gay. . ."
"Oh. Your culture does not view homosexual males as masculine beings?"
"Not typically. Well, not stereotypically." Batman looked down. He turned and started attaching his cape.
"Oh. Those of us on Mars did not think to pry into someone's personal affairs like that. I did not realize humans did."
"Well, it's just that, it's different. Humans don't react well to 'different.' In fact, they usually fear, and then attack the 'unknown' or 'different.' Genetic shortcoming, I suppose." Batman turned to the screen just in time to see warnings flashing.
J'Onn's eyes widened. "The Watchtower is falling. It has less than two hours left in orbit."
They ran to the Batjet.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ WATCHTOWER
The Watchtower gave a shudder, and the five remaining leaguers were thrown off their feet. They had searched frantically every nook of their home for a hint of why they weren't able to resume orbit. Still, they couldn't find what was wrong. Superman, in a moment of genius, suggested that they signal Batman. Their communicators were jammed. Hawkgirl flounced to the hangar, but even though the fishstick effect was waning, she still wasn't able to open the large hangar doors. They were jammed too. GL even thought to mentally flag the Martian, but any time one of them tried, they got splitting headaches.
They were stuck. They were all gonna die in about an hour and a half. Oh wait, never mind. That shudder meant that the Watchtower was now in a sharper angle of depreciation.
"Contact with Earth's atmosphere in forty-seven seconds."
Superman stood up, "Well, it's been great. I love you guys." There was only the faintest hint of a lisp as he swooped them all in a big bear hug.
Now was the perfect time to panic. They huddled together, waiting for when they would be burnt up by ozone layer into crispity crunchity grossness. They saw the farther edges of the tower starting to burn.
Diana shut her eyes, trying to relax.
Her eyes jerked open when not one, but two male voices yelled out, moments before impact:
"I SLEPT WITH HAWKGIRL!!!!"
"WHAT?!?!?!"
-
-
A/N: Whew, that took a while, didn't it? Hope you enjoyed it. We're not sure when we'll be able to get back together to brainstorm on this thing, but rest assured, we'll try. Here are a few of the things that were in our way of writing this chapter:
Band
WBA sucks
Parental units
AP classes
Drugs
Sickness
Sleep
Friend/enemy/unknown side issues
Cheese
Sims addiction
So yeah. Busy-ness. But hey, we got out a chapter, didn't we? That's good, right? Yes. So enjoy, read it again, and review. Because you're cool like that. Well, you don't really have to read it again, it's just something to do. So you can laugh when you're at work and stuff. Or wherever you read this stuff.
Zippy: Just stop. You're digging yourself into a deeper hole.
Chunks: Shut up. I don't see you ever doing one of these things at the end of a chapter.
Zippy: Yeah, well I typed most of this one.
Chunks: But--but . . . but I help with a lot of the ideas.
Zippy: **Rolls eyes** Tch. Yeah. Right. Help.
Chunks: Shut up! Carson is a genius!!
Ed: I found his toes!
Zippy: Yeah, and Kyan is hot.
Chunks: oh yeah. And well-groomed. Too bad he's gay . . .
Zippy and Chunks: Kyan, why are you gay?!?!?!?! We want you!!!!
Ein: =squeak=
PS: If anyone has read through our story only recently, go back and read again, because we had to fix some issues. Parts missing and stuff. Damn technology. Damn FF.net making us get a different authorname. If you want to blame anything, blame them. This was all just fine before they made us change stuff . . . and put us on record for copying. We write it together, dammit! Of course it's duplicated! Gah!
Okay, that's enough of that. Review and make us happy.
-
A/N: you think you know, but you have NO idea. We don't either.
Claimdiser: what?
-
-
It was weird enough when Green Lantern walked into the living room naked, his bath towel abandoned somewhere back in the hall. It was even stranger when Hawkgirl pranced, we repeat, PRANCED, in behind him. Wearing a pink, SHORT, miniskirt. [Bad pink! Pink is bad!] But the worst thing came when Superman burst out, "Shut up! Carson is a genius!!" and started weeping like a small girl child.
Batman quirked an eyebrow.
"Holy drugged up Watchtower, Batman," muttered a disheveled J'Onn who was frantically pulling on his uniform briefs.
"More like holy. . . . shit," the Dark Knight replied.
"This show is so stupid, Supes," Flash drawled. "I don't even know why you watch it."
"No it isn't! **sniff, sniff** Just because you are among the unfashionable doesn't make it a stupid thing to watch!" was Superman's muffled response from the fetal position.
"I'd get up and fight you about that . . . but that would take effort," Flash said slowly, then promptly began dozing, even though Wonder Woman had just strutted by in a sheer black lace nightie, her rear end exactly at his eye level. And he did nothing. NOTHING. FLASH. DID NOTHING. Odd?
J'Onn sighed as he pulled on his red suspenders. "They've been this way since I got back."
Batman turned to him and asked, "When did you get back?"
"About ten minutes ago. I was on Earth. Otherwise occupied."
Diana was now SITTING in Superman's lap, coyly batting her eyelashes, but again her tricks were to no avail. He seemed completely unattracted to her. . . . And in the background Hawkgirl walked into a wall, gave a high pitched squeak of a giggle, and walked into the wall again.
". . ." was the only response Batman could muster.
GL walked by again, shaving cream dripping slightly off his face, still naked as a jaybird, with a piece of toilet paper stuck to his heel and trailing behind him.
"I too am dumbfounded," commented J'Onn.
Flash had now slipped into a catatonic state, with drool dribbling down his chin. Superman made a grimace, politely shoved Diana off his lap, and used a clean hanky to delicately wipe off the slime. "That's disgusting," he shuddered.
Diana stood up in a huff and tried repositioning her breasts, as they had begun to fall out of her top in all the excitement.
J'Onn winced. "I've just seen more of Diana than I'd ever intended."
Batman was silent.
As GL continued walking about, penis first, like an African king (no offense to African kings; we just find amusement in this sexiness), Martian Manhunter and Batman went into the relatively calm kitchen.
"Okay J'Onn, what's all this about? They weren't this weird when I last left them."
"No. No they weren't. Something in the air?"
Batman shook his head no. "That would affect us as well."
J'onn pondered for a moment, then asked, "Something in the water, then?" Again, Batman shook his head. "The filtration system is far too advanced. Besides, that system is rigged with poison and tampering alarms. We would've known much earlier than now if it was the water."
J'Onn seemed disheartened. He looked around the kitchen, orange eyes alighting on the refrigerator. "Perhaps it was something they ate."
"Hmm . . . well do you have any idea what that might be?" inquired Space Detective Batman (now with retractable wings!).
J'Onn opened cupboards and peered inside. "All these are unopened containers. Diana and I went shopping quite recently."
"Yes, I remember." He rummaged through the fridge, pulling out various suspicious looking jars and Tupperware containers. A loud shriek from the living room made him stand up quickly, and he bumped his head on the inside of the fridge. "DAMMIT."
After putting the jars on a nearby counter space, Batman hurried to the door to see what was wrong. "It's okay, J'Onn. Hawkgirl just discovered how to open a door. Hey, can you find something to put these jars in?"
The Martian pulled out a paper bag from under the sink and started packing containers in it neatly. "Why am I doing this, Batman?"
"I'm going to take it to my lab for analysis. I don't have the technology to do it up here." He picked up a bag and walked towards the hangar. Through the living room. The living room of death.
Batman was blocked by a sultry-eyed Wonder Woman, who brushed up against him.
He almost dropped the bag.
Way to not be smooth, Bats. But it would be difficult to concentrate with Diana murmuring sweet nothings into your ear, wouldn't it? And popping out of her top.
He hurriedly swerved around her, and would've made a quick getaway, but J'Onn grabbed his arm.
"Take me with you."
"Someone should stay and keep an eye on them."
Green Lantern ran by yelling about Davy Jones' Locker, pursued by Hawkgirl asking "WHAT'S THAT???" and Superman screeching, "Give me back my boa!" Flash was still not moving. Okay, well he twitched.
"Please," pleaded the Martian, his eyes beginning to dart frantically. "Don't leave me here . . . Not with them . . . Not alone . . ."
A fluffy red feather floated down and landed on Batman's shoulder. "Fine. Come on."
Diana pouted and straddled an arm of the couch as Batman pulled the Martian Manhunter towards his Batjet.
"What is the hurry, Batman?"
"I need a cold shower."
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ IN THE BATCAVE
J'Onn unpacked the bag of opened foodstuffs as Batman took the aforementioned cold shower. His eyes were drawn to an abnormally large penny in a crevice of the Batcave. It had to be at least fifty feet tall, and was strikingly clean and shiny. J'Onn didn't even have to ask why. He knew. And he wished he didn't.
Bruce walked over to the waiting Martian, surprisingly with his mask off, although he was wearing the main components of his rubber uniform.
"An odd display of trust, Batman."
"Not like I can hide anything from you anyways."
"Indeed. So, these . . . things." He waved a green hand over the bowls and jars.
"Oh, yes. We can run them through my chemical analysis machine. It will compare the makeup of the food from the Watchtower to identical foods that have been approved by the FDA. Any foreign particles will be identified, and we can view the results on my really, really big screen. I have more than a million products chemically scanned into my computer."
"Allow me to guess: Your BatScan?"
"Yes."
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ BACK IN THE WATCHTOWER
Hawkgirl held a permanent marker up to her nose and smiled. "It smells like happy. . ."
Flash started to reach over and snatch the marker from her before she got high off the fumes, but in the end he decided that was taking decidedly too much effort and he slouched further into the couch. He closed his eyes to block out the sight of GL doing the "Funky Chicken Dance."
Superman did a pirouette a little too quickly and slid off the dining room table.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ BATCAVE, AGAIN
"Normal. . . . Normal . . . . Disgusting, but normal. . . . I thought Superman was allergic to strawberries. Well, normal. . . . normal . . . Batman, I'm not reading anything unusual."
"Keep looking. We still have the ham, the sauerkraut, and the freezer foods to go through."
::sigh:: "Alright. The ham is normal. . . . sauerkraut normal. . . . ice cream, normal . . . stir fry, normal. . . . fishsticks nor-wait!"
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ WATCHTOWER, AGAIN
The phone rang. ("We screen. Zoom in on the answering machine!") Green Lantern picked it up, still in the buff. "Uhh. . . . hello?"
"Hello. . . This is Lois. Is um. . . . Superman in?"
"Umm . . . in a manner of speaking. Actually, he's starting to be a little out. I can't find my toes."
"Pardon?"
"One moment, please, while our operators connect you to the nearest superhero." He put the phone down on the counter and yelled. Hawkgirl, after some bumps, wrong turns, and minor epiphanies, made her way over and picked up the phone.
"=giggle giggle="
"Superman?"
"No, you silly! I'm a GIRL!"
"I need to talk to SUPERMAN."
"He's busy right now."
"What on EARTH could he be doing that is more important than listening to what I have to say?"
"Umm. . . . well I think he would talk, but he's painting his nai--oh, he's signaling me. Umm, two words. First word, one syllable. . . Umm, Fall? Noose? Dead? Fish? Hang? OHHH OOHH I GOT IT!!! Okay wait, second word. Sky, ceiling, umm . . . stars? Space? Umm. . . ."
"I NEED TO TALK TO SUPERMAN. PUT HIM ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW!!!!!"
"Oh! Up! Thanks, Flash! So that's . . . hang . . . up . . . Oh I get it! Hang up!"
=Dial tone=
The muscle below Lois's eye gave a dangerous twitch.
Back in the Watchtower, Flash slapped his head. Slowly. "We're doomed."
Hawkgirl giggled madly "I'm so good at this game! Let's play another. How about . . . umm . . . what?"
Wonder Woman was draped over a divan. We don't know where it came from, but it was there. Just like her new corset and stockings. We don't ask.
GL wandered over to her. "Nice garters."
"Thanks. Nice. . . . never mind."
"Nachos. I have a new mix CD. Have YOU seen my toes?"
Superman was now braiding Hawkgirl's hair into two piggy tails. He wrapped the elastic around the end of one, and was about to start on the other.
=EEEPP= =EEEPP= =EEEPP= =EEEPP?= =EEEPP=
Red lights near the ceiling were flashing, piercing alarms were sounding, and Pious Cal was Throbbing. Everyone started leaning a bit to the side, but only slightly. A mechanical, woman's voice came over the intercom, "Danger. Danger. Orbit compromised. Orbit compromised. Losing altitude. Time to impact: four hours and twelve minutes."
Flash perked up. "¿Qué qué?"
GL blinked, looked down, and turned bright red. Difficult for a dark guy, but yeah. . . . He ducked behind the couch. No one was looking his way, so he grabbed a table cloth, wrapped it around himself, and sprinted to his quarters.
Superman was shrieking, Diana was running around in circles, and Hawkgirl was now purposefully beating her head on the wall. It was pandemonium.
Flash slowly ascended from the couch. "HEY!!! SHUT UP!!! We still have over four hours. And I am NOT spending my last moments listening to you all freak out."
GL returned to the room, fully clothed in his spandex. "I still can't find my toes. . ."
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ BATCAVE
"According to this report, these fishsticks have a diluted portion of the CIA's truth serum in the batter. You wouldn't notice it at first, but if you were to eat, say a lot of fishsticks, it might make you start acting funny. Perhaps loosen your inhibitions, or make you act in a way quite unlike your usual self."
"I see, J'Onn. So, Diana loses modesty, Green Lantern loses his self control, Hawkgirl submits to that girlie girl that's in there, somewhere. Flash lacks motivation and energy, and Superman. . . ." Batman started to chuckle.
J'Onn looked puzzled. "I do not understand. Why is his behaviour so amusing?"
"Didn't you notice how feminine he was acting?"
"Well yes, but I do not see why it is humourous."
"Well, because he's just . . . well everyone always perceives him as being really, I don't know, manly. And so when he starts acting a little . . . um . . . gay. . ."
"Oh. Your culture does not view homosexual males as masculine beings?"
"Not typically. Well, not stereotypically." Batman looked down. He turned and started attaching his cape.
"Oh. Those of us on Mars did not think to pry into someone's personal affairs like that. I did not realize humans did."
"Well, it's just that, it's different. Humans don't react well to 'different.' In fact, they usually fear, and then attack the 'unknown' or 'different.' Genetic shortcoming, I suppose." Batman turned to the screen just in time to see warnings flashing.
J'Onn's eyes widened. "The Watchtower is falling. It has less than two hours left in orbit."
They ran to the Batjet.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ WATCHTOWER
The Watchtower gave a shudder, and the five remaining leaguers were thrown off their feet. They had searched frantically every nook of their home for a hint of why they weren't able to resume orbit. Still, they couldn't find what was wrong. Superman, in a moment of genius, suggested that they signal Batman. Their communicators were jammed. Hawkgirl flounced to the hangar, but even though the fishstick effect was waning, she still wasn't able to open the large hangar doors. They were jammed too. GL even thought to mentally flag the Martian, but any time one of them tried, they got splitting headaches.
They were stuck. They were all gonna die in about an hour and a half. Oh wait, never mind. That shudder meant that the Watchtower was now in a sharper angle of depreciation.
"Contact with Earth's atmosphere in forty-seven seconds."
Superman stood up, "Well, it's been great. I love you guys." There was only the faintest hint of a lisp as he swooped them all in a big bear hug.
Now was the perfect time to panic. They huddled together, waiting for when they would be burnt up by ozone layer into crispity crunchity grossness. They saw the farther edges of the tower starting to burn.
Diana shut her eyes, trying to relax.
Her eyes jerked open when not one, but two male voices yelled out, moments before impact:
"I SLEPT WITH HAWKGIRL!!!!"
"WHAT?!?!?!"
-
-
A/N: Whew, that took a while, didn't it? Hope you enjoyed it. We're not sure when we'll be able to get back together to brainstorm on this thing, but rest assured, we'll try. Here are a few of the things that were in our way of writing this chapter:
Band
WBA sucks
Parental units
AP classes
Drugs
Sickness
Sleep
Friend/enemy/unknown side issues
Cheese
Sims addiction
So yeah. Busy-ness. But hey, we got out a chapter, didn't we? That's good, right? Yes. So enjoy, read it again, and review. Because you're cool like that. Well, you don't really have to read it again, it's just something to do. So you can laugh when you're at work and stuff. Or wherever you read this stuff.
Zippy: Just stop. You're digging yourself into a deeper hole.
Chunks: Shut up. I don't see you ever doing one of these things at the end of a chapter.
Zippy: Yeah, well I typed most of this one.
Chunks: But--but . . . but I help with a lot of the ideas.
Zippy: **Rolls eyes** Tch. Yeah. Right. Help.
Chunks: Shut up! Carson is a genius!!
Ed: I found his toes!
Zippy: Yeah, and Kyan is hot.
Chunks: oh yeah. And well-groomed. Too bad he's gay . . .
Zippy and Chunks: Kyan, why are you gay?!?!?!?! We want you!!!!
Ein: =squeak=
PS: If anyone has read through our story only recently, go back and read again, because we had to fix some issues. Parts missing and stuff. Damn technology. Damn FF.net making us get a different authorname. If you want to blame anything, blame them. This was all just fine before they made us change stuff . . . and put us on record for copying. We write it together, dammit! Of course it's duplicated! Gah!
Okay, that's enough of that. Review and make us happy.