Disclaimer: I do not own Mobile Suit Gundam Wing. Hajime Yatate and Yoshiyuki Tomino do.
La Semana Próxima al ZoológicoWufei publicly shunned by the Australian guy returned to the zoo everyday for the following week to try again.
On his fourth visit there it was unbearably hot and the guy who had rejected him in the past finally went on a break. Replacing him was a tall blonde female to interview the possible contestants. He approached her and said, "I'd like to try and wrestle the crocodile."
She stared at him blankly for a second her sun-bleached hair sticking to her forehead in the heat.
Wufei didn't break eye contact, "Please."
She looked him up and down. "Aren't you a bit young?"
"I don't see an age limit posted on any of your signs."
"Hn," she replied lifting the clipboard to read off her daily questions.
"Are you Australian?" she said in a very dry tone.
Wufei rolled his eyes, "No."
"Are any of your ancestors Australian?" She was starting to remind him of the old lady at the DMV who asked the same million questions to each person who came to her window without ever looking at them.
"No."
"Have you ever been to Australia?"
Wufei put a hand to his forehead, "No."
"Have you ever dated an Australian?"
"Are you Australian?"
"Yes."
"Are all Australians like you?"
"Yes."
"Then, no I haven't and no I never will."
She dropped her clipboard from in front of her eyes. "Are you saying there's something wrong with me?"
"You're as dry as Heero's morning toast."
"Would you prefer that I did a little tap dance for everyone of you idiots who thinks you can take a croc?"
"I'd prefer you stop asking me these ridiculously biased questions and let me prove that I can take the croc."
"None of these questions are ridiculous or biased, they are meant to weed out those inferior so that we do not have to clean your blood from the sidewalks."
"Please. You're Australian. So I'm assuming that your ancestors were Australian. Have you ever been to Australia?"
"Many times."
"Date any Aussies?"
"Naturally."
"Did you dump any of them or did they all go crying back to their mother's after the first date and just never call you again?"
"Why you self-centered little…"
Wufei rolled his eyes at her and upon loosing eye contact he missed seeing her take her arms around his neck and drag him to the crocodile habitat and fling him over the fence. Wufei sighed contently. He stood up looked at her smiled and said, "Thanks."
She glowered at him and slowly a smile came on her face as she watched one of the crocodiles approach him from behind. The world surely wasn't going to miss this guy and to be the one to rid it of him she would gladly wash his impure blood from the walls.
Wufei noticed her smile and stood his ground without so much as turning to look behind him. Just as the crocodile was about to snap at him, he jumped backwards landing on its back. In less than five minutes Wufei had managed to pin the croc to the ground subdue it and climb back over the fence where the Aussie woman stood with her mouth agape. Wufei didn't bother saying a word to her as he walked off.
Today had been worth all of the rejection he had faced earlier. Now all he had to do was find the other guys and gloat. The other guys. He had no proof! They were never going to believe that he got passed the front gate let alone taken the croc in record time. Tomorrow was the last day of the croc-wrestling display; he'd have to take them there and do it again.
"Wufei, that's such b.s. There is no way that guy let you get passed him," Duo said over his burger.
"You're right. I tried for three days and he wouldn't let me passed, but yesterday there was a girl there who didn't even get through all the questions before she knew I was just the guy to take the croc," Wufei said smugly.
"A girl? Was she hot? I've heard Australian women are hot," Duo asked.
Wufei cocked his head to look at the flames shooting off of the blonde next to Duo.
"Eh…" Duo said turning to face his girlfriend, "Strictly a research question. Honest, Mina. I only want to know if the rumors are true."
This didn't appease her any and it took every ounce of her strength to keep her from decking him across the restaurant.
Wufei shook his head, "Other than it being 102 degrees yesterday and her sweating like a pig, no."
Relena shook her head from across the table, "Duo, you're such a male. Why can't you be more like Heero?"
Sucking on his straw to extract his extremely thick strawberry shake from his cup, Heero raised an eyebrow and looked at his girlfriend. Of course, Duo voiced the question running through his head, "Are you saying that Heero's not a male?"
Realizing that that didn't come out the way she meant she turned bright red and continued, "No, no, no… I just mean why can't you stop looking at other women when you have a teen idol girlfriend sitting right next to you?"
"If you even try to play the "Because I'm American Card" I'll hit you," Minako said clenching her fists next to him.
That was Duo's only card to play in this situation. Not having another he decided to fold, "So Wufei, is that contest still going on?"
"Only one more day."
"And since you're the big man down there now I'm sure they'll let you in again to show us just how talented you are, right?"
"Well now that you mention it…"
When he found Quatre, he was sitting at his computer getting information on raising dingoes in captivity.
"You aren't seriously looking into buying dingoes, are you?" Wufei said coming up behind him reading the screen over his shoulders.
"Sure. Why not?" Quatre replied taking his eyes off the screen to reach for his teacup.
Wufei sighed, "Hey, instead of looking stuff up on the internet why don't you go back down to the zoo and ask the people there how they take care of their dingoes?"
Quatre's eyes brightened and he snapped his laptop closed in his excitement, "What an excellent idea, Wufei!"
"Good. You can come with us tomorrow when I prove to everyone that I wrestled a crocodile."
Quatre's face fell in concern, "Oh, Wufei, you're not still going on about that are you? It isn't healthy to be so obsessed with something like this?"
Wufei raised an eyebrow, "Are you coming with us or not?"
"I'm coming!" Quatre said as the huge smile returned to his face.
"All right three down one to go," Wufei murmured to himself from across the table.
"Who are you missing?" Quatre asked his attention not returning to his computer.
"Trowa."
"Oh you want me to call him for you?" Quatre asked in a very perky tone.
Wufei stared at him in horror, "Why are you so cheerful all of the sudden?"
"Because you helped me, so now I want to help you," Quatre said already dialing his cell phone.
'At least he doesn't have us all on speed dial,' Wufei noted.
"Hi, Trowa. This is Quatre. We're all going to the zoo tomorrow, wanna join us? But Wufei's going to wrestle the crocodile tomorrow." Quatre sighed, "Please, Trowa, it just won't be the same without you. Who's going to read the map for us? And fend off the croc when it takes Wufei's leg off? Oh you will! Great! See you tomorrow!" Quatre clicked the end button on his phone and smiled, "Trowa's coming."
Wufei just sat across from him glaring.
The following day, everyone, including Relena and Minako, were packed into the van and on their way to the zoo.
"So we'll get to see the bats this time, right?" Duo said taking a corner faster than he should.
Hitting the side of the van next to him, "Yes Duo we'll probably be at the Australia House for hours the way these two talk," Heero commented.
"…and as soon as I know how to care for them I'll have my guy in Australia send me a pair," Quatre continued to tell Trowa and the girls even as he fell over.
"You have a guy in Australia?" Wufei asked from the back seat sliding back into an upright position.
"Uh… Hello, Wufei? This is Quatre. He has a guy on every continent and every colony, and well if you happen to be in Arabia he has an entire platoon at his beck and call. Duh," Minako said turning to look at him while rolling her eyes.
"Yeah, Wufei. Maybe if you were as well-connected as I am then you would have been able to get past the guard at the Australian House."
"I DID GET PAST THE GUARD! I WRESTLED THE CROC YESTERDAY!!!"
"Oh, Riiight. I forgot."
The rest of the trip went much like this. Duo managed to get them there in record time and without hitting anyone else or flipping the van over. Wufei glowered at Quatre and Minako the entire rest of the trip. Trowa and Relena listened quietly so as not to draw themselves into the argument next to them that was ensuing from one misplaced comment.
Heero sat in the navigator's seat and he was glad for it because it grated his ears to listen to this noise. If Duo hadn't been so chauvinistic the day before, Heero most likely would have been in the back with Relena, and Minako would have had the place as shotgun. But seeing as how she wanted to put herself as far away from her no-good-boyfriend as possible, and yet didn't want to let him go off to wherever this so called hot Australian woman was unsupervised, she sat in the back corner next to Wufei. That was the biggest mistake in the world. It was his mission, whether he liked it or not, to get those two talking to each other again so that he could separate Minako and her pent up man-hating anger from the most chauvinistic jerk in their whole group, Wufei. Then it would only take three little words to Quatre to end all arguments. And once again peace would reign, this time without his girlfriend's life being threatened or her becoming Queen of anything.
Arriving at the zoo, everyone piled out of the van except Minako, Wufei, and Quatre whose argument had developed into such a full-scale war that they didn't even notice when the van stopped. Trowa suspected that this argument was half the reason Duo drove more dangerously than usual. Once out of the van the four deaf-but-slightly-more-sane ones huddled in a corner to decide who would go break up the fight. Rock-paper-scissors determined that it was Duo's duty.
Duo took a deep breath and sighed heading for the now shaking van? "Uh-oh?" he said placing his hand to the door. He swung it open as hard as he could, put on his happiest face and screamed, "LOOK QUATRE DINGOES!!!!!!"
Quatre immediately stopped arguing and looked out of the open van door. "Why didn't someone tell me that we were here!" he said jumping out and taking off for the Australian House.
'One down, two to go.' He didn't figure screaming 'Look Wufei Giraffes!' was going to have the same effect so he'd have to opt for plan B. As the van continued to rock back and forth from the activities going on in the back seat Duo climbed in and put on his most hurt look, "What's going on in here?" Duo said loudly. Then he looked back and forth between the two of them having not really gained anyone's attention, sniffled and continued, "Oh so that's how it's going to be? I say one stupid thing and you go and leave me for… for… HIM! And… and…" he sniffled again, "you have the gall to do it right in front of my eyes, IN MY VAN!" Duo buried his face in the back of the seat and began to fake sob. This got their attention.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!" The duo said in unison.
"Do you really think I would consider dating someone as shallow as HER!" Wufei screamed.
Minako sat their mortified, "What in the world would ever make you think that I could leave you for something so small as… as… and for Wufei?" she sounded hurt.
Wufei scampered out of the van and joined the rest of the group (minus Quatre). He looked as if he wanted to vomit at the very thought that was going through his head.
Duo lifted his head from the back of the seat, wiped fake tears from his eyes, sniffled one last time and then instantly perked up. "Somehow I knew that would get your attention."
"Why you…" Minako said as she hit him and joined the others outside of the van, but not before pausing to smile at the guy she loved. Duo smiled happily and jumped out of the van locking the doors behind him.
"Okay now that that is settled off to the Australia House. I must prove to you that I succeeded in my mission yesterday," Wufei said and began marching off that way. He stopped turned around and grabbed Trowa by the wrist, "To you Circus Boy, I must prove my victory, and you will pay to see it again!" Dragging Trowa in front of the rest of the group he clarified, "in cash."
"I get it. I get it. Can you let go of my hand please?" When Wufei didn't listen to him Trowa sighed and continued to go along. Until a pair of old ladies gave them a look, turned up their noses and walked away, then Trowa began to drag his feet. "Wufei! Let go of me. You're starting to draw attention to us… those old…" Wufei wasn't listening. Trowa stopped firmly and shook his hand free, "Wufei, I don't swing that way!"
"What?!" Wufei stopped startled at the implication.
"I'll walk with you just stop holding my hand, people are starting to stare," Trowa said calmly as he gestured around them.
Wufei looked a little red, bowed to an older couple, snorted at Trowa and proceeded to walk forward making sure the taller boy was with him.
When they arrived at the Australia House, Quatre was already inside the fence talking with a gorgeous young Aussie guy and feeding the dingoes. "Boy, he works fast," Wufei commented snidely.
"You have no idea," Trowa agreed.
When the couples arrived a few minutes later, Relena and Heero were in the middle and Minako and Duo on either side one walking slightly ahead of the group the other behind. Inwardly Heero sighed, this was going to be harder than he thought. Rigging the rock-paper-scissors game earlier didn't help at all.
Wufei and Trowa were at the front of the line in no time. Wufei smiled haughtily at the woman standing back by the fence and stood his ground before the man asking the questions. "I would like to wrestle the crocodile," he stated surely.
The man lowered his clipboard and looked at the shorter Chinese boy before him. "You again? Haven't I told you to get out of here a dozen times already?"
Wufei stared back and repeated, "I would like to wrestle the crocodile, please."
The man sighed and asked, "Are you Australian?"
Wufei glared back, "You already know the answer to these questions. Why don't you ask me something important?"
"Did you insult a member of the Royal Australian Zookeeping Staff yesterday?"
"No."
"EXCUSE ME!" The woman said storming up from her spot on the wall.
"There are no members of the Royal Australian anything. You have no affiliation with any Queen and have not since Relena declared the world one unified nation."
Trowa tried not to smirk beside him.
"Did you insult this woman yesterday?" The man asked again being more specific.
"Intentionally."
"Why did you insult this woman yesterday?"
"So that she would throw me to the crocodiles and I could prove that I am not some inferior person just because I'm not Australian."
The crowd cheered behind him. Trowa looked around at all the people; Wufei's antics had triggered a crowd's gathering. The Australians pretended not to notice any of the people cheering.
The Australian man smiled a broad, crooked smile, "Well then by the sheer fact that you're dumb enough to be back here again today, I can see that your little plot failed yesterday as it will undoubtedly fail again today."
"But…I wrestled the croc yesterday…" Wufei began, but the man was already looking past him.
"And what about you young man," the Aussie man said to Trowa, "Are you Australian?"
"I have no known affiliation with the continent, sir."
"Have you ever been to Australia?"
"With the circus and on missions, sir."
"Sir. I love this kid," the man said to the woman next to him, who smiled and nodded. "Have you ever dated an Australian?"
"No, sir, I have not."
"And why is that?"
"There are no Australians in my traveling circus troupe, sir."
"And if there were?"
"I still would not have, sir."
"And why is that?"
"Soldiers do not have room in their lives for girlfriends, sir. If I had to say goodbye specially every time I left on a secret mission, it would have jeopardized the mission at the very least in my inopportunely delayed take off."
Wufei rolled his eyes and turned around to look at Relena who was standing directly behind him now, "When did the war end?"
"Last Christmas."
"Just checking."
"Hm," the man said either please or baffled by Trowa's response. Either way he moved on, "Were you born with superhuman strength?"
"I do not believe so, sir."
"Were you born with fast reflexes?"
Wufei glowered at the man, "He's a circus freak, of course he was born with fast reflexes!"
The man acknowledged Wufei's comment, but not Wufei. "Is this true?"
"I do not like to brag, sir."
The man punched at Trowa's head. Trowa did not dodge, flinch, or blink instead he grabbed the man's hand out of the air.
The Aussie smiled, "Not bad, not bad at all. We can skip the rest of the questions. You may try your hand at wrestling the large Saltwater Crocodile over there."
"No thank you, sir," Trowa said.
"Excuse me?" the man froze.
"I do not wish to wrestle the crocodile, sir."
"And why is that?"
Trowa said with the straightest, most serious face this Aussie had ever seen, "Because I think crocodile wrestling is boring, sir."
"Boring? Have you ever wrestled a crocodile before?"
"No sir, I prefer to ride on the crocodiles' backs and treat them as equals then try to fight them, sir."
"Excuse me?"
"Trowa's specialty is taming wild beasts," Relena chimed in smiling.
"You have no desire to wrestle any crocodiles?"
"No sir."
"And you're not going to go in there and 'tame the wild beast' and ride it for the crowd."
"I had not been inclined to do so, sir, but if you should wish for me to do so…"
The man raised his hand to cut him off, "Then what may I ask are you doing standing in this line?"
"I was not standing in the line, sir. I was standing beside the line, next to my fellow pilot Wufei, who was in the line. Because I had wished to have a front row seat when Wufei demonstrated his wrestling skills for me."
The Australian man's jaw dropped, his eyes bugged out and glazed over, and he seemed to be frozen in place for the next half an hour. Trowa and the others walked off, they would come back when he recovered and try again. For now it was off to the Bat Caves.
"Finally!" Duo said as they headed away from the Crocodile Habitat. On their way over to the Bat Caves they walked past the Kangaroos and Wallabies.
"Oh…aren't they beautiful?" Relena asked stopping to stare at them.
"Yes, fine; they're nice. Now come on; let's keep moving," Duo said trying to push her ahead.
"I agree with Relena… I want to sit here and watch them for a bit too," Minako said from the back of the group. She stopped and crossed her arms in front of her.
"Fine. I'll go see the bats by myself. It's not like you can leave me; I have the keys!" Duo said stomping off.
'AAAHHH!' Heero's mind screamed though on the outside he blinked and said, "Hn." Heero took off after Duo. As he turned a corner he saw Duo go into the nocturnal house and he sped up slightly so as not to loose him inside.
Entering the darkened enclosure Heero blinked once to adjust his eyes to the darkness. Slowing down so that he wouldn't trip on a little girl in front of him, he lost sight of Duo. 'Great,' Heero thought to himself as he scanned the signs for the Bat Caves. The entrance had to be there somewhere. Heero spotted the signs and followed them quickly. As he turned a corner he slammed right in to someone.
"Sorry. Excuse me," Heero began to apologize thinking he had just plowed into some until-now-happy family. As he lifted his eyes to see the person in front of him he found that he had run directly in to Duo.
Duo sighed and turned back to his staring.
Heero came up beside him, "Kangaroo Rats."
"They're Mina's favorite."
"Hn."
"Did you know that they don't even live in Australia?"
"Really?" Heero tried to sound like he actually cared to know this.
"Yep. They live in the American Southwest and Mexico. They just put them in here because it's the only nocturnal habitat."
"Duo."
"Yeah?"
"Have you tried apologizing?"
"I really don't think they mind being on this side of the park. It's not like North America has enough nocturnal animals to make a separate house worthwhile."
"Duo…" Heero repeated sounding nonplussed.
"Oh look it's your Naked Mole Rats." A voice nonchalantly said down the aisle from them.
"Funny," a grumpy voice responded.
Duo and Heero looked down to see that the others had caught up to them. Trowa and Wufei were looking at the various animals while Minako and Relena were standing before the entrance to the Bat Caves.
"I don't want to go in there," Minako whispered softly.
"Why? They're just bats," Relena whispered back
"What if they get in my hair? Or bite me or something?"
"Honestly Minako…" Relena trailed off as the boys approached.
"I'll protect you from the bats," a quiet voice came from behind them.
Minako turned around to be face to face with a pair of deep, bright blue eyes that seemed to sparkle a little as if their owner had recently been on the verge of tears. Her baby blues softened as she nodded and waited for him to lead the way.
Heero came up behind Relena as the other couple passed the doorway. Putting his arms around her waist he said, "Relena… will you protect me from the big scary bats?"
Relena didn't even turn around before she smiled and responded by shaking her head, "Not even I have the power to protect anyone from those two."
"Well hopefully if we give them a minute head start and don't let anyone get past us they'll be able to reconcile inside," Trowa said coming up beside the non-quarreling couple.
Wufei snorted. "Not like it'll help. They'll just be fighting over something else in twenty minutes." This comment earned him three sets of glares and a hard punch from the fairest one.
Inside Duo and Minako were walking arm in arm because every time she saw a bat fly by beyond the wire fence she cringed and buried her head into his shoulder. "It's okay Mina, the bats don't really attack people. It's very unlikely that they'll get stuck in your hair let alone come near you."
Minako nodded but still wasn't completely at ease.
They crossed through the gate into the opened area and Duo curiously leaned over the edge to see how deep the manmade cavern actually was. 'It's too dark to see the bottom.' Just as Duo was leaning over he heard Minako eep beside him. Standing up quickly to see what had scared her, he collided with a whole swarm of low swooping bats and was knocked forward off his balance.
"Duo!" Minako screamed as she saw him teetering over the edge of the wall. However the sound of her voice echoing off the walls disturbed all the bats and they began to fly around frantically. The children up ahead all ducked for cover and though normally Minako would have been doing the same she was more concerned with the fact that her actions just caused bats to completely swarm around Duo.
Duo didn't know quite what had happened. All he knew was that his precious bats were upset and that in their confusion they had startled him from his grip on the wall and getting caught in his hair had pushed him an inch too far… and… he was… falling…..
Falling into the darkness below…
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Author's Notes: I didn't really expect to get a lot of reviews last time… though I was hoping for more than two. sigh
"La Semana Próxima al Zoológico" means "The Following Week at the Zoo."
Oh… I also do not own Minako… though she's modeled after a character owned by Naoko Takeuchi… she is not necessarily her either. I just don't really care for Hilde as Duo's girlfriend (sorry Hilde fans…) so just accept that in this reality… and any that come from my head Duo has a famous girlfriend named Mina.
Anyway. Someone thought it would be cute if I continued. So… I have. And there will be at least one more installment to finish off this day. Please review. Constructive criticism is welcome, suggestions on how to end the day are welcome, and just plain odd comments are always desired.
Will Duo fall to his doom?
Will Quatre ever leave the Dingo Habitat?
Will Wufei ever get to prove that he can wrestle the Croc?
Tune in next week…
Same Zoo Time
Same Zoo Fic.