Warning: Extra-sensitive readers may want to grab some tissues really quick before reading this chapter, because it's meant to be a tearjerker. Consider this your only warning.
Part Seven
She was gone. He was alone again.
Goku sat on the floor of the house, his knees drawn up to his chin like a small child. He never felt this miserable in his entire life.
An hour had passed since Chi-Chi had left his house; the longest hour of his life, it seemed. All he could do was just stand there and watch her walk away. Part of him wanted to go after her and make her stay, but this he would not do. He knew perfectly well was wrong to make someone stay with you when they didn't want to.
He'd pleaded her to stay, confessed the strange feeling he got when he was around her, and she apparently didn't feel the same way. She didn't want to be with him, it was as simple as that. He should have accepted it and let it go…
Why couldn't he let it go?
Everything's so quiet without her, Goku thought dully. True, it had always been quiet --- too quiet at times --- yet now the silence was so depressing that he could hardly bear it…
Something hot and wet slid from his eye down to his cheek. He wiped it off, staring at it numbly.
He had been sad before --- but tears? He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried. Perhaps it had been when Tamborine killed Krillin, although that was nothing compared to the rage he felt when Frieza killed him again. He was sad when Vegeta was killed for good, only years of battles had kind of toughened him up to the possibility of losing his friends in a fight. Besides, they could be wished back with the dragon balls.
However, the pain he felt whenever he lost a friend was nothing compared to the pain he felt now.
Goku had been wrong; the feeling he felt with Chi-Chi did not go away when she did, it was still there. But it was no longer a new exciting feeling. Instead, it only burned.
Desperately, Goku tried to remember the happiness the feeling brought him, yet it only made it hurt worse. It was only a happy feeling when she was around.
What's wrong with me? he wondered, wiping tears from his eyes. Why do I feel this way? I never felt this sad whenever my friends and I split up. I felt a little bit sad when I said good-bye to them after I died in the Cell Games, but I knew that I'd see them again someday, so it wasn't that bad. It wasn't really good-bye, after all.
Maybe that's why I'm so sad: because I'll never see Chi-Chi again. Only that's not it either, it's something else… I wish I knew what it was…
He hoped that she would be all right. She said that she didn't have a home anymore, so where would she go?
Why couldn't she stay? he thought sadly. She said it wasn't because of me, but I still think that it had something to do with when she kissed me the other night. Everything was fine until then…
Goku stood up and looked out the window. It was still snowing outside. He watched each flake fall, mesmerized. He almost expected (or maybe hoped) to see Chi-Chi come running up to the house, saying that she changed her mind and would stay with him. And then everything would be all right again…
But that, of course, wouldn't happen.
Goku couldn't help but think it was strange how everyone Chi-Chi claimed to know didn't know her. First she claimed to know him since her father knew his grandpa, though they had never met face-to-face. Then she thought she knew Piccolo, only it turned out that she had mistaken him for another one of her son's friends. Yet how did she know Piccolo's name and everything?
And her father… Bulma had been right about her father; he had been a monster, according to the people who lived in his kingdom. But Chi-Chi said that he had changed, and he had trusted her. She was a good person…
He understood why she didn't tell him that her family was dead until the last minute. Still, all of this was very strange to him. Was something going on that he didn't know about?
He leaned his head against the wall. It didn't matter. Nothing did --- she was gone now, and whatever mysteries she had in her life he'd never know now.
Everything was so confusing to him now --- the most confusing thing of all was that strange feeling. How could it make him feel so perfect once, and now make him feel so awful?
Something stirred within Goku's memory: "Some days, these feelings can make you feel absolutely perfect… and other days --- whenever anything bad happens to them or if they leave you --- it makes you feel absolutely miserable."
Chi-Chi had said that… yes, that was exactly how he felt right now!
He had cared about Chi-Chi, only what he felt was deeper than how he cared about his friends or his grandpa. He knew that the special feeling he felt for her was more than friendship, but it couldn't be…
Chi-Chi was a good person. He didn't mind that she yelled, everybody yells sometimes. She was funny, smart, kind, beautiful, and the way he felt about her was nothing he had ever felt in his entire life.
"Oh no," Goku moaned, sinking down to the floor. It dawned on him what exactly that feeling was, and why it hurt so badly that Chi-Chi had left him:
"I love her."
***
"This is for the best," Chi-Chi kept telling herself.
Her heart kept twisting in agony at the thought of never seeing Goku again. Part of her was screaming to go back, to apologize, and just tell Goku the truth, but this she couldn't do. This was for the best, and Goku would see this in time…
Yet the memory of the heartbroken look on his face said otherwise.
She'd been walking through the woods for a long time now. She was freezing cold and had no idea where she was going, but she kept going regardless.
"You're making a big mistake," a voice behind her said.
Chi-Chi turned around and saw Grandpa Gohan. "Oh, it's you," she muttered. "So you saw the whole thing?"
"I sure did," Grandpa Gohan said matter-of-factly. "How could you hurt Goku like that? I thought you loved him!"
"Of course I love him!" Chi-Chi snapped. "I love him more than anything! You think that I wanted to leave him? I'm only doing this for his sake!"
"Is that so?" Grandpa Gohan asked, raising an eyebrow. "Enlighten me."
"He doesn't need me!" Chi-Chi said exasperatedly. "I saw how everything was without me, and yes, I do see that I do make a difference, but Goku is still happy! He doesn't mind living by himself! He can train and have as many adventures as he likes without having a family to tie him down! He can stay away as long as he wants without worrying about when to come back!"
"You think Goku would prefer being by himself than having a family?" Grandpa Gohan asked in disbelief. "That he was never happy with you and your sons to begin with?"
"No, he was happy with us!" Chi-Chi said vehemently. "I just think that this might be a better life for him."
Grandpa Gohan shook his head. "You are truly naïve," he said sadly. "Even more naïve than Goku. He does need you, Chi-Chi. What is it going to take for you to believe that?"
"All right, he said that he liked having me around when I left," she admitted. "Only he likes almost everybody, so it doesn't make a difference. I almost thought that he was falling in love with me again, until I kissed him last night. He freaked out."
"Well of course he'd be scared!" Grandpa Gohan said impatiently. "He'd never been kissed before in his life! You just went a little too fast for him, that's all."
"Maybe," Chi-Chi said regretfully, "but he doesn't love me anymore."
"Are you sure?" Grandpa Gohan asked.
"He didn't even know what love is!" she retorted. "I had to explain it to him!"
"And you still don't know what you've done for him?" Grandpa Gohan asked incredulously.
Chi-Chi stared at him, dumbfounded. "He'll be better off," she repeated, although she was starting to doubt her own words. "We never would have gotten married if I hadn't shown up at the 23rd Martial Arts Tournament and reminded him of his promise. For Kami's sake, he didn't even know what marriage was!"
"He learned," he replied gently.
"If he'd known what it was to begin with, he never would have gone through with it!" she said bitterly.
"You're forgotten one thing," Grandpa Gohan said quietly. "He could have said no."
"He just didn't want to break his promise!" Chi-Chi argued.
"But he still could have said no," Grandpa Gohan pressed. "He could have just apologized and politely refused, yet he didn't. His friends warned him that marriage meant having to spend the rest of his life with you, didn't they? And he still married you. He could have also backed out at the last minute when Kami offered to make him Guardian of the Earth… yet he refused and chose to marry you instead. Doesn't that count for anything?"
Chi-Chi bit her lip. "Well… Goku wouldn't have wanted to be Guardian of the Earth anyway," she protested, though her resolve was starting to fade. "He didn't take the position in this time either! He said that it would be boring."
"Or maybe it wasn't what he wanted to do in life," Grandpa Gohan said. "He chose to be with you… and I don't think for one minute that he regrets that choice. Maybe he didn't love you at first --- it was the first time you met him in years, after all. But he learned to. Has ever he told you that he loves you?"
"Yes…" Chi-Chi said slowly.
"And you think that he doesn't mean it when he says it?" Grandpa Gohan asked sternly.
"No! My Goku never says anything that he doesn't mean!" she replied indignantly.
"Then what is the problem?" Grandpa Gohan asked, throwing up his hands in frustration. "Why would you ever think that he'd be better off without you?"
"Because he is, isn't he?" she asked despairingly. "He's okay being alone…"
"Didn't you hear a single word he said to you an hour ago? He admitted that he is lonely! You gave him a family. You gave him love. Without those two things, life is hardly worth living."
Chi-Chi stood there lost for words. Her heart sank horribly as she realized her mistake. "I thought… he said that he was all right being alone," she said weakly.
"Because he never knew how a family could change his life," Grandpa Gohan said somberly.
She swallowed. He's right, a voice in her head was saying. You were the one who taught Goku about family. He never had one to begin with; he was sent to Earth when he was a baby. Just goes to show how good Saiyans were at being parents. He did have friends, but they're no substitute for a real family. Doesn't he deserve to have a real family?
Tears filled her eyes. How could she have been so blind? Goku probably did have feelings for her, and she turned him down. She imagined how she'd feel if he'd ever reject her like that; she never wanted to cause him that much pain…
Grandpa Gohan was watching her closely. "Go back to Goku," he said quietly. "Tell him everything… and I mean everything. If you want everything to be back the way it was, you need to undo the wish as soon as possible. I don't know if the Namek dragon balls can reverse the wish, but it never hurts to try."
Chi-Chi didn't reply; she just turned and ran as fast as she could in the direction of Grandpa Gohan's house.
***
Meanwhile, Goku was taking a long walk in the woods. He couldn't stand the silence of the house any longer.
He thought of going to his friends to ask what to do, but that didn't seem like a good idea. For one thing, Bulma hadn't liked Chi-Chi very much. For another, although his friends would be sympathetic, they would probably tell him to forget her. In the future, he would find someone else…
But the pathetic truth was that he didn't want anyone else; he only wanted her. And even if he wanted to forget her, he could not.
She didn't really explain why she had to leave, he thought. All she said was that she couldn't stay…I wish I knew why.
Maybe it had something to do with her dead husband. Maybe she didn't want to stay with another man because it would be an insult to his memory. If that was true, he could respect that.
Or maybe --- and this was a very horrible thought --- she just didn't like him at all. If she had, then she never would have left.
But what was wrong with him? He tried to be a good person, even if he wasn't that smart. He had tried to help her find her family, offered her a home, and protected her from any sort of danger. He'd taken her to places all over, just to make her happy.
He hung his head as a fresh wave of sadness enveloped him. It's an awful feeling, to be in love with someone who apparently doesn't love you back. You know that it's a waste of time to want someone doesn't want you. And yet you can't erase the person from your mind --- or from your heart.
It was especially hard for Goku. He had never been in love before, and after all the pain it was causing him, he almost wished that he wasn't.
More tears filled his eyes and he brushed them away furious. Stupid tears, he thought bitterly. What good are they? They don't bring anything back…
If only Vegeta was here, he'd have a good laugh at this. I could just hear him now: "What's this? The mighty Kakarot moping around over a woman? A true Saiyan warrior always stands alone; they need nobody! A mere human woman renders the great Super Saiyan 3 helpless? Ha! You're nothing but a pathetic, lovesick clown!"
He's right, they're all right… why waste time over someone who doesn't love me back. It's pointless. I'll be all right; I can take care of myself. I lived without her before; I can do it again…
Oh Kami, why doesn't she love me?
And then a sudden idea occurred to him: did she even know that he loved her?
Well, he had told her, hadn't he? He told her how he felt, and it sounded like love...
Yet he had never actually stated that he loved her. She might have misunderstood him when he told her his feelings; he always got things mixed up. If he told her straight out, then maybe… maybe she would have stayed.
I could still find her, Goku realized. The woods are very deep… she couldn't have gone far on foot.
He closed his eyes and searched for her ki. Yes, she was still in the woods… and not too far away… in fact, from where he could sense her, she was heading towards his house.
Confusion and hope arouse. Had she changed her mind? Or maybe she'd left something behind? Either way, Goku knew what he was going to do. He'd find her, and then he'd tell her straight out that he loved her.
If she didn't love him, he'd have to let her go and get on with his life.
But if she did, if she really did… it was impossible --- no, it was possible all right…
Goku smiled, feeling like his old cheerful self once again. If she did love him, and if it worked out, maybe he'd do what Krillin did and get married…
"Look at me!" he said aloud in awe. "I'm thinking about settling down --- me! I've never really considered it before. I guess I am in love!"
He knew he was jumping to conclusions, but being the optimistic person he was, he couldn't help it. The idea of spending the rest of his life with someone else seemed strange and almost scary to him, but he was somewhat curious about it too. To think, a whole new life could be waiting for him…
He was so lost in his own rapturous thoughts that he did the one thing any fighter should never do: he let his guard down. He didn't even sense a familiar ki approaching…
It was funny; he told Chi-Chi the other night that if he ever found someone, he'd know. She had been his "someone" all along, and it hadn't even dawned on him until now!
His smile spread wider, and he felt a sudden urge to jump in the air --- which he did. He let out a loud cheer as he hovered in the air.
He quickly landed back on the floor. "Well, what am I just standing around here for?" he asked, laughing at his own naivete. "I gotta go tell her first!"
He concentrated on her ki, preparing to use Instant Transmission. He wanted to get as fast as possible. Everything was going to be all right after all. He'd tell her, and then ---
And then, too late, Goku sensed the other familiar ki nearby him… a person who had approached him from behind in the forest, and shot out a laser beam directly at him. He turned his head just in time to see his attacker hovering in the air behind him….
Unfortunately, he didn't react quickly enough.
***
Chi-Chi had finally reached Grandpa Gohan's house. She hurried to the front door and started pounding on it. "Goku?" she called out. "Goku? Please let me in, I have something to tell you!"
No one answered the door.
She peered inside through the window, knowing that it was a rude thing to do. No one was inside.
He must have gone out again, she thought. If he's flown off to another place, I'll never find him!
She searched the surrounding trees. There were footprints in the snow, leading to the path where she had left and returned to the house. There was also another set of footprints leading to a different part of the woods.
Thank Kami, he's on foot, she thought, relieved. I'll just follow those footprints to where he is. Oh, I hope he's not mad at me…
Suddenly, she felt a sharp, intense pain in her heart. She gasped, her hand flying to her chest. It wasn't an unfamiliar feeling; whenever she had felt this sensation, it was when something had happened to ---
"Goku…" she murmured, horrified.
Not wasting a moment of her time, she started to follow the footprints into the woods. He's probably okay, she thought, trying to assure herself. He's strong, he can take anything that comes at him…he probably just got a minor injury…
She was purposely ignoring the fact that whenever she had got that strange feeling, Goku wasn't just "hurt"; he had died.
Just then, she heard a rush of wind above her. She looked up to see a figure flying above the trees. Even from that distance, she recognized him immediately. It was Piccolo.
Ordinarily, this wouldn't have been such a big deal. Yet now that he was evil again…
No! Chi-Chi thought desperately, breaking out into a run. No, Goku couldn't have lost to Piccolo! He's stronger than he was the last time they'd fought --- and Piccolo hasn't fused with Kami! There's just no way…
If anything's happened to him, I'll never forgive myself!
The footprints stopped in front of a fallen log --- it was the place where Goku had saved her from the wolf pack two weeks ago. And there, lying on the ground, bleeding from a severe wound in his chest was ---
"Goku!" she gasped, rushing towards him. "Oh Kami, no! No! Goku!"
She knelt beside him. The wound was really deep… so deep that there was nothing but a huge hole in the middle of his chest, the blood oozing onto the snow. The mere sight of it would have made anyone faint, yet the knowledge that she was the only one who could help him prevented her from doing so.
In a vain attempt to stop the bleeding, she took off her coat, removed her shawl, and wrapped it around his chest. It wasn't going to heal the wound; unless she got hold of a senzu bean, he was done for.
"Goku?" she cried, pulling his head onto her lap and bending over him. "Goku, can you hear me? Please say something!"
Slowly Goku's eyes opened. His face was deathly pale and his breathing was very shallow. He glanced at the wound. The blood was already soaking through Chi-Chi's shawl.
"I don't believe it," he groaned in weak disbelief. "He got me… he really got me. I turn my back for one moment and he got me. King Kai's never going to let me here the end of it when I get to Other Word…"
"Don't talk like that!" Chi-Chi said angrily, tears starting to well in her eyes again. "You're going to be fine! We'll take Nimbus to Korin's Tower and get you a senzu bean!"
Goku shook his head feebly. "No… I won't make it in time…"
"What are you saying?" Chi-Chi asked incredulously. "You're just going to give up? This isn't like you at all! You've made it out of worse scrapes than this! Please… I know it hurts, but I need you to be strong now. Please just hang on for me!"
Goku blinked, looking at her. "Chi-Chi?" he whispered. Apparently he hadn't recognized her until now. "You… you came back…"
Chi-Chi nodded. "This is all my fault, I never should have left! I'm so sorry I hurt you… you must hate me…"
"Hate you?" Goku asked faintly. "No… I don't hate you at all. I love you…"
She froze, unable to believe what she had just heard. "What?" she asked incredulously. "You what?"
"I love you," he repeated, smiling a little bit. "I do. I don't think I ever loved anything or anyone else until you came."
"No, you can't!" Chi-Chi sobbed, shaking her head in denial. "Everyone who loved me is gone!"
This couldn't be happening. Goku really had fallen in love with her over again, and he was about to die. He was going to lose him --- again!
"Oh," Goku whispered, his dimming eyes looking at her sadly. "I get it now… It's because your family died, and you didn't want to get hurt over again. That's why you left, isn't it? That's why you don't love me back."
His words struck her like a hammer. "No, that isn't ---!" she tried to protest, but Goku lifted one of his hands and put it to her mouth, silencing her.
"It's all right," he said softly. With his remaining strength, he grasped one of her hands. "I understand. I'm just glad that I got to know what love felt like for once… I wouldn't change that for the world…."
He paused, grimacing in pain. "And I'm glad I met you, Chi-Chi… I just hope you can try to be happy again someday. It's better than better than being alone… even if you do get hurt…"
"Oh Goku!" Chi-Chi cried, hugging him close. She could feel every ragged breath he took on her shoulder.
"You've got it all wrong!" she confessed tearfully. "I've lying to you… I used the dragon balls to make this wish… I wished that I were never born because they would be better off. They spent so much time sparring and saving the word that I thought they didn't need me. Shenron granted my wish, and everything went wrong!
"Why do you think I knew your name when you didn't know me? Or named my sons after your grandpa? It wasn't because my dad knew your grandpa --- and I wasn't lying about that --- it's because I knew you! You just don't remember it because of the wish…
"My husband isn't dead, Goku! He's you! Gohan and Goten… they're your sons too! But they aren't here anymore because of the wish. I know I should have told you sooner, but I thought that you were better off without me. I never meant to hurt you, I never even meant to make that wish! It was an accident! I'd take it back if I could! And that's why you can't die now! I know this is a big shock for you, and I'm sure you're confused, but I promise I'll explain everything after we get you healed!
"Just stay with for a little longer… please! I can wait a year to undo the wish, and if that doesn't work, we can start all over again! We have a family again, and things will be different! I can stand it all if you're with me! Please don't die… for Kami's sake, I love you!"
Silence was her only response. She couldn't even hear him breathing.
She lowered him onto the ground, where he lay still. His face was deathly pale from blood loss and his eyes were closed.
"No!" she gasped. She grabbed his shoulders and started to shake him. His head hopelessly lolled back and forth. "Goku, wake up! You can't be gone, you can't be! It can't end this way!"
But Goku continued to lie there, lifeless. He never heard a single word she had said. He was gone.
Chi-Chi burst into tears. "Goku! Oh Goku, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry, sweetheart!" She cradled him in her arms, kissing him and rocking him gently…
Moments later, she found that she was only holding air. His body had been transported to Other World, like it had the previous times he had died. The shawl that had been tied around his chest fluttered to the ground.
Nothing remained of him except the blood that stained the white snow… blood that dripped onto her skirt… blood that soaked through her shawl...
Overcome by grief, Chi-Chi buried her face in her arms. "What have I done?" she wept. "Oh Kami, what have I done?"
To be continued…
A/N: Now all of you know why I said that you'd want to kill me after this chapter.
Bunny1: Goku can't fix the situation, but Chi-Chi can.
VidelChan313: The suspense is maddening, you say? Good, then I'm writing this right! *cackles wickedly* Don't worry though, the fic is almost over.
Sakura123: You were right, Grandpa Gohan did come back and Chi-Chi came to her senses. Chi-Chi thought that Goku would be better off without her, so she did the old "hurt him to save him" routine. Unfortunately, it blew up in her face, as you see.
Abigail Marie: Welcome to my world; I don't have much sanity left either. LOL!
Nisha: I tried to make this chapter even more tear-worthy. Did I succeed?
I won't tell: Thank you!
Lady Thundera: Bring on the drama, you said. Bring on the evil cliffhangers, you said. As you wish. Heh, heh, heh. Don't worry, favorite couple gets back together in the end, they always do. I realize I'm a hypocrite after I told you how I'd feel if you killed off Goku. Because of this, I'll go easy on you when I read the next evil cliffie you pull off in "The Past Returns" just as long as there's a happy ending with our favorite couple back together.
Kakkabrat: Yay! Someone found my Finding Nemo reference! Also, the scene when Chi-Chi leaves Goku was inspired from when Marlin leaves Dory in the movie, which is a very sad scene. It gets me depressed every time I see that part. Dory reminds me a bit of Goku; they're both so funny!
Jessica C: Goku's a forgiving guy. Even though Chi-Chi hurt him the way she did, he was more sad than angry. Yeah, poor Goku. I know without a doubt that you and the other reviewers are probably pissed off for what I did to him, but I know what I'm doing, and I can assure a happy ending.
Nitte iz: Thank you!
Dark-mean-me: Yes, I was upset that Goku left with Uub. I was kind of expecting Goku to have a more proper good-bye to everyone, especially Chi-Chi. Still, I understand why it happened. I just never watch that episode when it's on anymore… just like I ignore GT. I've seen a few episodes of it, and I didn't like it. It was completely unlike DB and DBZ. I could go on with the other reasons why I don't like it, but there are too many.
Vegito: I'm sure you feel even sorrier for Goku and Chi-Chi now.
SSJ Chika: Who doesn't love drama? But you have to be careful, because too much of it isn't a good thing.
Mkh2: Poor Goku. Poor, poor, poor, poor, poor Goku…
Lady Athena X: Again, poor Goku. He was in love with Chi-Chi and didn't realize it until it was too late. Love is complicated, as you can see. You can be that Chi-Chi has to fix her dilemma now!
Jedimaster107: You were close, but it turned out to be the exact opposite of what you thought.
Jen: Thank you! It is hard to find good G/CC fics these days… thank goodness for authors like Lady Thundera so that we don't have to read as much crap about Chi-Chi and Goku getting a divorce, or whatever. I don't even read those stories. I have my opinions about my favorite shows and books, but people have their own opinions too about DBZ, and I respect that, even if I don't agree with them.
ShellyMoon: Of course I'll continue it! Can you imagine how many flames I'd get if I didn't update anymore after this chapter? LOL!
Sadako-Tokumei-Kibou: Yep, I'm evil. But I felt really bad about killing off Goku after Chi-Chi (unintentionally) broke his heart. He's one of my favorite characters.
Moon girl16: Chi-Chi left because she thought that he'd be happier without her. She meant well, but she was wrong, as you see.
Dopey: Never ask if things can get any worse. Things always find a way. I imagine you hate me even more now.
Shukumei no Kagi: Yes, it's a sad story, and it's even sadder because of this chapter. But it will get better. Everyone will kill me if I write an unhappy ending!
Moonprincess202: Thank you!