Disclaimer: No, I don't own it, but I'll trade for all the
candy I got from Halloween. Okay?
AN: *pout* No reviews for the last chapter? Oh well, it's only my second
Inuyasha fiction… I'm hoping to do better on this next one. And a warning,
angst up ahead, Icari's subconscious is taking over. I have no idea what drove
me to do this, but it makes for one hell of a twist. Someone, please tell me
how I did on this, it was really weird and I want to know how I did! Also, any
Sesshomaru/Rin experts out there? I've been trying to write something for them,
but I can't get it right. Any pointers would be nice. Thanks! Complete honesty
is very commendable right here. So, the usual, R&R please!
Icari
Chapter 8
They arrived at the hut near the break
of dawn, and the wound on Inuyasha's shoulder had healed slightly. After
depositing her brother at the hut, Icari had left quickly, followed by
Sesshomaru, who still wanted nothing to do with his brother. Yet, Rin stayed, and Jaken sat outside,
terribly annoyed that he would still have to baby sit the older girl. Inside,
Rin, Kagome, Sango, Miroku, Shippo and Kiara rushed around, trying to help out
the best they could.
Even Kagome, with all of her first-aid
training in the future, didn't know how to help treat the broken ribs. Though,
she had questioned Icari about moving them, but the older woman had assured her
that Inuyasha would be handled as carefully as possible.
Outside, in the midst of the forest,
Icari sat by her lonesome, brooding over her mistake. She bit her lip, knowing
full well that her fang would draw blood. 'Stupid!' She punched a tree, causing
it to fall over. 'I should've smelled her scent, or seen her coming! Why did
Father give me this sword? Why did Father make this sword? Why couldn't he of
left me out?' She attacked the fallen log, hoping to take her anger out before
someone came by.
'Now, Rin's as old as Kagome, and she's
supposed to be half that age! I took away her most treasured years. I took away
her innocence, and half her life, and… and…' She screamed with fury as she
continued the cut the wood up into small pieces, perfect for firewood.
"Why Father!?" She yelled, so loud she
was sure the humans would hear. "Why the fuck do you have us playing with the
laws of nature anyways? This is not a gift! This fucking curse! You… you
fucking bastard. Couldn't keep nature alone, could you? Couldn't keep
everything as it should be, could you? Everything you do, everything you
say, it will always complicate things for us. You said you were planning
something, you said it would help us. What were you trying to do?" She screamed
and ran. This responsibility, it was tearing her up. She was never normal, she
could never be.
She hated her father for everything that
he had done to her and her brothers. She hated how he had made Inuyasha suffer
for so long and his mother too. And also for pitting her brothers together,
splitting their family up. Memories rose in her mind, memories of her family
before he had messed it up. He had set the stage, and died, making them go
through everything by themselves.
A lake crossed her vision, blurry and
unfocused. It was then Icari noticed that she was crying. Tears rolled down her
eyes and soaked her cape. All of her previous anger was gone, followed by grief
and guilt. She hated herself now, for blaming her father. It had not been his
fault, it had been hers. She had been the one that let herself get carried
away. She had been the one who wasn't being careful. Her father wasn't even
alive after her first few birthdays damn it. Still, though, it was nice to
blame someone else for her mistakes, even if it was the coward's way out.
She looked into the pool, watching her
pitiful reflection as it stared back at her. She then looked at the little
scrape of land in the middle of the lake, and saw some bones of fish and
animals strewn across it. In the recesses of her mind, a saying came to her, quietly
at first, then growing into a whisper. Her father's voice came, on his dying
day, as the physical and mental exhaustion pulled her into a deep sleep.
Meet
me where the sky meets the earth, and life meets death. Just find where the
four stages of life meet and the four elements of our family are seen together,
as one, like we should be. Remember my little girl, to meet me there, one day,
and I will tell you what you cannot comprehend today. I'll be waiting, my baby
girl.
*~*~*~*~*
She awoke in a dark room, or something. But
all she could see was black, indicating that no light was in there at all, or
else she would've picked it up. She tried to move, but found that she couldn't.
But, there seemed to be nothing restraining her; she simply couldn't move. From
the way her hands and legs were rubbing against her body, Icari could tell that
she was still in the same position she had fallen asleep in.
"Where am I?" Then, an unusual sound
came from behind her. A high pitched, whistling sound and the scenery changed. In
front of her, a clearing could be seen. Actually, she was in the clearing, her body curled in a tight ball, and she could see
some of her silver hair fanned out in front of her.
In the bushes, something moved.
Terrified, Icari made no sound, but instead laid there quietly, hoping whatever
in those bushes was either harmless, or wouldn't come her way, being as defenseless
as she was right now. It was deathly silent. All she could hear was the slight
rustling of the bushes, the wind, and her shallow breathing.
A man stepped out, dress in robes similar
to Sesshomaru's, and his armour. That silver hair…
"Father?" Without thinking, Icari stood
up, and succeeded. Slowly, and carefully, she stood up on staggering legs, and
steadied herself. Then, she turned to the man that resembled her father. "Father!"
she called, her heart lifting with joy as he turned, then smiled. It seemed
like it had happened, before, but Icari ignored the voice in her head that told
her so.
A trembling foot forward, she took a
step. It seemed so much like a dream! Another step, and she began to get used
to it. "Papa!" Icari ignored the tears in her eyes, and began to run, eager to
be back in her long-lost father's arms. "Papa! It's really you!" Running, she
laughed gleefully as her father outstretched his arms, ready to catching her,
laughing too.
As she got close, though, he kneeled
down as if to catch her as when she was a small child. Confused, she tried to
stop, but ran right through her
father instead. Stopping, she turned, and saw him catching her, but as a child.
Purple robes clashed with green, and they fell on the ground, laughing as they
played.
"It's… it's just my memory…" Still,
though, she had to watch as a three-year-old version of her laughed and giggled
as her father tickled her, and nibbled on her ear slightly. Her hair was still
shoulder-length, but she was wearing her green kimono, and clutching her little
staff. "It's the one I gave to Rin…"
Her gaze turned to her father, exactly
as she remembered him. He had always worn purple robes, and carried a small,
weak little sword around. She had never known why until she had learned of her
own sword, and how it could transform.
"Papa…" She looked at the tiny version
of her, and vaguely wondered how she had ever been so small. "Can I see
Tetsusaiga?" Her father laughed as she gazed at the sword in awe.
"Sure, baby girl, just be careful." He
unsheathed it, but it stayed in its hidden form. Switching with the staff, the
smaller version of herself clutched the sword with two hands, stumbling slightly
at the odd weight. Icari studied the small sword, and watched in awe as it
shined and glazed under the sun's light. 'Of course…' she rolled her eyes. 'It
hasn't aged yet, so it's supposed to be new and everything.'
"Thank you, Mama doesn't let me play
with the other one." The child laughed at herself as her grip slipped and the
sword fell to the ground. "Oops, I guess I'm not strong enough anyway…" Laughing,
she tried to hand the Tetsusaiga back to her father and grabbing her staff.
"Oh!" She whirled suddenly. "Papa! Come
see Inuyasha-kun! He grew a lot since you left." Taking his hand, they laughed
as she pulled them into the woods, clearly quite aware of where they were.
After they disappeared, the scene turned back to darkness.
"Wha- what?" Icari stepped forward,
surprised at the sudden change. Confusion turned into annoyance as she realized
something else. "That didn't answer my question!" Her ears twitched as
something sounded behind her. Only, this time, it wasn't that whistle. No, this
time, it was footsteps.
"You never did have much patience."
Whirling, Icari came face to face with the same man from the vision. Her eyes
widened as his continued to watch her intently. She turned, this time, to make
sure he wasn't looking at something behind her. "No, Icari, I am talking to
you, not someone else."
"Are you for real?" Icari took a couple
of steps forward, stopping right in front of the man who looked like her father.
Slowly, she reached up to touch his face. It was solid. "Papa?"
He gave her that warm smile that she remembered
so clearly, and she fell into his arms, awaiting the long lost feel of his hug.
"Papa, it's been so long…" She cried a little into his chest, treasuring the
moment.
"Yes, sixty-five years…" He stroked her
hair, as he used to when she was younger. "It's been too long, my dear Icari,
but after this, you cannot see me again until it is your time to join me in the
after life." She tensed at his words.
"Inuyasha and Sesshomaru won't be able
to see you?" She treasured this moment, but she had wanted to show this to her
brothers too. Surely they missed their father as well.
"No, they cannot, but my spirit dwells
in the Forest of Inuyasha,
until I am at peace."
"And why are you not at peace?" He
smiled down at her and held her closer, reminding her of how much she missed
him, and how hard it will be on her when they had to part.
"Your brothers and you haven't found
your true lives yet. You are still growing up, Icari, and the Fates have much
planned for you. I have been allowed to help you, though I must not interfere
with the plans of the Fates. If I do, time will turn back to when you and your
brothers have not met up yet, and your memories will be erases. But, however, I
am allowed to give to assurance."
"Where the sky meets the earth, and life
meets death. Find where the four stages of life meet and the four elements of
our family are seen together, as one, like we should be…" Icari whispered as it
came back to her. Those whispers, unlike the others, drifted through the air,
falling on her ears every now and then.
"Yes, and I promised you the truth." She
looked up at him, slightly stepping away but still gripping his robes. "Icari…
I know you and everyone else has discussed this, but there is a fourth sword." She gasped. Yes, she had always considered it,
but it still seemed unbelievable now.
"But… why? There are only three of us."
"It was not my choice. Toto-sai… after I
died, some demons threatened him, with the lives of half of Japan,
to make a final sword. They carved it from my bones, and because of that, it
held a part of my soul. The sword was never meant to be… but it is, and a spell
was cast on it, giving it the power to grant the wielder the power to pull
souls from the afterlife, and send souls in, even from live creatures. It is a
very powerful sword…"
"What happened to it?"
"Toto-sai, after creating it, betrayed
those whom had made him do it and used the sword to slaughter then demons.
Knowing the full power of the sword, he tried to destroy it, but to no avail.
It was much too powerful. He hid it, in a very secret place, and never told
anyone of it."
After considering what he had said, Icari
remembered something else. "Lady Kaede said that she suspected our swords to
have something to do with the Shikon No Tama. What about that?" She watched as
her father's face contorted, then smooth out.
"This woman must be special, because it
is true. I first made the swords not only so that you could help protect
yourselves, but the jewel as well. You see, the Fates actually contacted me on night, telling me their
need of three swords. So I heeded their commands, and had your three swords
made..." He drifted off, but another bit of information came to Icari.
"Also, she gave us four talismans, Life,
Growth, Death and Afterlife. At least, that's what I think they said, we haven't
quite deciphered them, but it's a guess." Actually, they hadn't even tried to decipher them… but he probably
knew that.
"This," he sighed. "I don't know of.
But, it is possible that everything here is part of the Fates' plans. They have
been working rather strangely with your webs… there is much they wish to
include."
"Like what?" Icari asked, curious as she
always had been. Her father chuckled.
"I'm sorry my baby girl, but I cannot
tell you that. I have already told more than enough." His face sobered greatly
and he looked at her with said eyes. "I'm sorry again, Icari, but our time is
over. I shall miss you, but whenever you need assurance…"
"I'll come here. As will my brothers.
Thank you, Papa, for everything. And, all those things I said in the woods, I- I
didn't mean it." She hugged him again, gripping her father tightly.
"I thought so…" all too soon, her father
began to disappear, slowly at first. "I'll be waiting for you, in the afterlife."
He smiled at her as his body grew clear and her arms went through the folds of
his robes. "And don't grieve over that child, Icari, it was a mistake. Besides,
this was planned all along…"
*~*~*~*~*
She awoke in the clearing, and saw the
pond in front of her. Icari looked around and sighed sadly at the lonely
feeling that overtook her. "Papa…"
"Icari!" She jolted, looking up at the
interference. "Icari!" it came again, and she looked to see Sango running
towards her. "Icari…" she stopped to catch her breath, and the youkai smiled. "What
are you doing all the way out here? Never mind. Inuyasha's waking up and we
thought you wanted to know. Rin is talking to Sesshomaru right now.
Icari nodded and stood up. She no longer
felt the guilt; after all, she had all of the information they needed right now…
