# Indicates journal entry.
// Indicates background music
* Lyrics taken from Mya's song 'Case of the ex'
Chapter 27 | Whatca gonna do?
// Whatcha gon' do when you can't say no And her feelings start to show Boy I really need to know - and How ya gonna act How ya gonna handle that Whatcha gon' do when she wants you back //
#I kept trying to convince myself that I could trust him, that I cared about him, but was I ever wrong. When I walked into that room I was so set on telling him how I felt, how much I cared about him, how I wanted him to be able to live his own life. But then when I saw him, dancing with her, kissing her, it was like all my biggest nightmares come true. I can't believe I actually let my self care about him so much, and I was so stupid because I knew she wanted him back and I should've known it would happen#
Grace stopped writing for a moment, reaching up to brush away a tear. Then continued writing.
#And the new girl, Felicity, when I bumped into her all I wished was that she would go away and leave me alone, but she didn't leave me alone and she helped me put things into perspective. She just sat there while I poured out the whole story of Eli and my relationship- relationship, I can barely stand to write the word let alone say or think it, it's a fucking joke. And then she sat there, for almost an hour afterwards, with her arm around me and let me cry. I feel like such an idiot#
// There's no need to reminisce 'bout the past Obviously 'cause that shit did not last I know how a woman will try to game you So don't get caught up because baby you'll lose //
#But she made me realise that it's not worth crying about- even though I'm sitting here trying desperately not to, but she made me realise, don't get upset, get angry, pissed off, but don't show him how hurt you are#
_____
Eli hung up the phone, in total shock.
[Eli- Grace . . . she saw Carla . . . saw me . . .us . . .I'm in shit]
"Bad news?" Rick asked, walking into the room. "No" Eli said, shaking his head. "It was just Coop".
[Eli- I don't know what to say]
"Well if you need to talk or-" "Its fine" Eli snapped. "Okay" Rick backed down, walking over to the door he out his jacket on and picked up his keys. "I'm going to pick Jessie up from training. If you come I'll let you drive" Eli shrugged, "Ah yeah I guess"
[Eli- How am I going to explain to her- Carla kissed me, and yes I kissed her back, but I pulled away, I did, how could Grace have not seen that?]
"E?" "Ah yeah?" Eli shook his head, "You might want these" Rick threw the keys to him. _____
Eli and Rick walked in just as Jessie was about to spar. Rick couldn't take his eyes off his daughter, standing there, facing this guy who was twice her size, not looking the slightest bit afraid. They started sparring and within seconds Jessie had scored.
[Rick- Her black belt is something she's been working towards for years. And Karen and I couldn't be prouder of her, but sometimes I get the feeling that it's not really what she wants. Time like these, when she gets that blank stare in her eyes, and it's as if she's just going through the motions, but not really enjoying it]
"She's really good" Eli commented, although his mind wasn't really on Jessie. "She is isn't she" Rick sighed. "But being good isn't everything".
[Rick- I remember when she first started, back in the days when it wasn't all about training, it was about fun. She used to get this look in her eyes, this look of pure enjoyment -smiles sadly at camera- it was the same look she got when she sang- until she gave it up because the karate got too serious and she didn't have enough time]
"Hey Jess, you were great" Rick greeted his daughter as she ran over to him once she was finished. "Hey dad, thanks, hi Eli"
"Jess, just a minute, can I talk to you?" her Sensei Steve called out to her as she, Rick and Eli was walking out the door. "Ah yeah," she turned to her father, "I'll meet you guys down there okay" "It'll just take a second," her Sensei said, "I just wanted to see whether you've decided to take me up on my offer or not" "Offer?" Both Rick and Eli turned towards Jessie, a questioning look in their eyes. "Yeah, I've offered Jessie the chance to be the junior class instructor when she gets her black belt"
_____
"Jess how could you not tell your mother and I about this?" Rick asked, still in shock.
Jessie continued to look at her feat. Rick had spent the whole drive home in shock, barely asking anywhere, Eli had surprisingly said nothing, sitting in the front seat totally spaced out.
"I ah," Jessie stumbled to think of a good reason. Truth is, she'd been doing her best to not think about the offer. "Don't you trust us?" Rick asked sounding hurt.
They had gotten inside and all of a sudden Rick started talking, just like that. He didn't sound angry, more confused at why she didn't tell him. She could handle anger, but this . . .
"I do, it's not that" Jessie whispered, looking up at her father. "Then what is it?"
[Jessie- I can't tell him, he'll be so disappointed]
"Nothing, don't worry about it" Jessie said with a sigh, looking down at her feet. She heard the sound of Eli slamming his bedroom door upstairs.
"What's wrong with Eli?" Rick looked at her pointedly. "I don't know, and no you're not going to change the subject that easily"
[Jessie- I'm going to have to just tell him, and get it over with]
"I've decided not to take the offer"
Rick looked at his daughter, not at all surprised.
"What, your not going to tell me what a mistake I'm making? How I'm passing up a great opportunity" Jessie muttered when her father didn't say anything.
"No I'm not, because only you know what's right. I've told you before and so has your mother, as long as you do good in school and keep your grades up, you can set your own boundaries with your training, so it's your decision"
"Thanks dad" Jessie leaned over and hugged her father.
_____
// Whatcha gon' do when you can't say no And her feelings start to show Boy I really need to know - and How ya gonna act How ya gonna handle that Whatcha gon' do when she wants you back //
[Eli- I keep replaying that kiss in my mind. I can't believe Carla spiked my drinks, but I should have known better -shakes head- You know, I can't use that as an excuse, because for a minute there, without registering who I was kissing, I still wanted to be kissing her, and truth is while I've never considered getting back with her, and never will, I did want to kiss her. I care about Grace, I really do, and I know how much I've hurt her and I'd do anything to take that back. But how did things get so serious with us? It's only been a couple of months and everything's already so complicated. We said we could make it work, and until last night I thought we were, but maybe last night was a sign that things weren't right for us at the moment. Grace is a lot younger than me, she's not ready for anything serious and neither am I, I don't want to have to worry if I kiss another girl, and I don't want to have to lie to my mother, my sister and to Graces father about us. Question is what do I do now? Because I don't want to lose Grace completely]
Chapter 27 | Whatca gonna do?
// Whatcha gon' do when you can't say no And her feelings start to show Boy I really need to know - and How ya gonna act How ya gonna handle that Whatcha gon' do when she wants you back //
#I kept trying to convince myself that I could trust him, that I cared about him, but was I ever wrong. When I walked into that room I was so set on telling him how I felt, how much I cared about him, how I wanted him to be able to live his own life. But then when I saw him, dancing with her, kissing her, it was like all my biggest nightmares come true. I can't believe I actually let my self care about him so much, and I was so stupid because I knew she wanted him back and I should've known it would happen#
Grace stopped writing for a moment, reaching up to brush away a tear. Then continued writing.
#And the new girl, Felicity, when I bumped into her all I wished was that she would go away and leave me alone, but she didn't leave me alone and she helped me put things into perspective. She just sat there while I poured out the whole story of Eli and my relationship- relationship, I can barely stand to write the word let alone say or think it, it's a fucking joke. And then she sat there, for almost an hour afterwards, with her arm around me and let me cry. I feel like such an idiot#
// There's no need to reminisce 'bout the past Obviously 'cause that shit did not last I know how a woman will try to game you So don't get caught up because baby you'll lose //
#But she made me realise that it's not worth crying about- even though I'm sitting here trying desperately not to, but she made me realise, don't get upset, get angry, pissed off, but don't show him how hurt you are#
_____
Eli hung up the phone, in total shock.
[Eli- Grace . . . she saw Carla . . . saw me . . .us . . .I'm in shit]
"Bad news?" Rick asked, walking into the room. "No" Eli said, shaking his head. "It was just Coop".
[Eli- I don't know what to say]
"Well if you need to talk or-" "Its fine" Eli snapped. "Okay" Rick backed down, walking over to the door he out his jacket on and picked up his keys. "I'm going to pick Jessie up from training. If you come I'll let you drive" Eli shrugged, "Ah yeah I guess"
[Eli- How am I going to explain to her- Carla kissed me, and yes I kissed her back, but I pulled away, I did, how could Grace have not seen that?]
"E?" "Ah yeah?" Eli shook his head, "You might want these" Rick threw the keys to him. _____
Eli and Rick walked in just as Jessie was about to spar. Rick couldn't take his eyes off his daughter, standing there, facing this guy who was twice her size, not looking the slightest bit afraid. They started sparring and within seconds Jessie had scored.
[Rick- Her black belt is something she's been working towards for years. And Karen and I couldn't be prouder of her, but sometimes I get the feeling that it's not really what she wants. Time like these, when she gets that blank stare in her eyes, and it's as if she's just going through the motions, but not really enjoying it]
"She's really good" Eli commented, although his mind wasn't really on Jessie. "She is isn't she" Rick sighed. "But being good isn't everything".
[Rick- I remember when she first started, back in the days when it wasn't all about training, it was about fun. She used to get this look in her eyes, this look of pure enjoyment -smiles sadly at camera- it was the same look she got when she sang- until she gave it up because the karate got too serious and she didn't have enough time]
"Hey Jess, you were great" Rick greeted his daughter as she ran over to him once she was finished. "Hey dad, thanks, hi Eli"
"Jess, just a minute, can I talk to you?" her Sensei Steve called out to her as she, Rick and Eli was walking out the door. "Ah yeah," she turned to her father, "I'll meet you guys down there okay" "It'll just take a second," her Sensei said, "I just wanted to see whether you've decided to take me up on my offer or not" "Offer?" Both Rick and Eli turned towards Jessie, a questioning look in their eyes. "Yeah, I've offered Jessie the chance to be the junior class instructor when she gets her black belt"
_____
"Jess how could you not tell your mother and I about this?" Rick asked, still in shock.
Jessie continued to look at her feat. Rick had spent the whole drive home in shock, barely asking anywhere, Eli had surprisingly said nothing, sitting in the front seat totally spaced out.
"I ah," Jessie stumbled to think of a good reason. Truth is, she'd been doing her best to not think about the offer. "Don't you trust us?" Rick asked sounding hurt.
They had gotten inside and all of a sudden Rick started talking, just like that. He didn't sound angry, more confused at why she didn't tell him. She could handle anger, but this . . .
"I do, it's not that" Jessie whispered, looking up at her father. "Then what is it?"
[Jessie- I can't tell him, he'll be so disappointed]
"Nothing, don't worry about it" Jessie said with a sigh, looking down at her feet. She heard the sound of Eli slamming his bedroom door upstairs.
"What's wrong with Eli?" Rick looked at her pointedly. "I don't know, and no you're not going to change the subject that easily"
[Jessie- I'm going to have to just tell him, and get it over with]
"I've decided not to take the offer"
Rick looked at his daughter, not at all surprised.
"What, your not going to tell me what a mistake I'm making? How I'm passing up a great opportunity" Jessie muttered when her father didn't say anything.
"No I'm not, because only you know what's right. I've told you before and so has your mother, as long as you do good in school and keep your grades up, you can set your own boundaries with your training, so it's your decision"
"Thanks dad" Jessie leaned over and hugged her father.
_____
// Whatcha gon' do when you can't say no And her feelings start to show Boy I really need to know - and How ya gonna act How ya gonna handle that Whatcha gon' do when she wants you back //
[Eli- I keep replaying that kiss in my mind. I can't believe Carla spiked my drinks, but I should have known better -shakes head- You know, I can't use that as an excuse, because for a minute there, without registering who I was kissing, I still wanted to be kissing her, and truth is while I've never considered getting back with her, and never will, I did want to kiss her. I care about Grace, I really do, and I know how much I've hurt her and I'd do anything to take that back. But how did things get so serious with us? It's only been a couple of months and everything's already so complicated. We said we could make it work, and until last night I thought we were, but maybe last night was a sign that things weren't right for us at the moment. Grace is a lot younger than me, she's not ready for anything serious and neither am I, I don't want to have to worry if I kiss another girl, and I don't want to have to lie to my mother, my sister and to Graces father about us. Question is what do I do now? Because I don't want to lose Grace completely]