Disclaimer: Come Christmas and I might have something… but for now… nothing.

AN: Aw, no one else is an angst fan like me? C never got a vote! Heh, but then again, that's a bit to the extreme, right? Anyways! New chapter… this is a Sesshomaru and Rin one. I got to practice on couples rather than my OC and absolute favorite ones. So, (like always) I have the very end planned out, and I need fillers until then. I don't exactly know if I should have them all kill Naraku or not… and guess what?? My other story is nearly done, so on the… 29th of December and so on, Icari will be having two day updates!! Holy crap there's something I bet you're all looking forward to! Well, enough rambling… on with the chapter!!

p.s. It's almost Christmas!! Rejoice!

Icari
Chapter 21

 He knew they were looking at him, but their stares weren't nearly as well trained as they could be, and Sesshomaru easily ignored his sister and the water demon. After getting back to the campsite, he realized that they had both heard his howls, and knew there was something wrong. But hell, there was no damn way he was going to say anything to either of them.

 Rin slumped against him on the dragon- their ride. Her breathing was labored, and he knew she had fallen asleep. Shifting so that she wouldn't fall off, he soon found himself holding the young woman in his arms. Somehow, in any other circumstances, he knew Icari would've had a field day at this. But today, he was much too close to his childhood home to think straight, as memories overtook him.

~*~

 Sesshomaru, at the age of twelve, stood, watching as his mother demonstrated the power of his acidic swipe (which he had learned from his mother) and trees began to melt to the ground within a hundred yards distance. She turned to him, her graceful demon face stern and cold, and he flexed his claws in front of his face. Leaping up, he gave out a loud yell, and his own attack melted huge creases into the earth.

 "Good. Now, do it again." He nodded, and this time, he aimed at the trees behind them, away from where his mother had thrown her attack. When he unleashed the acidic attack, it melted away only about half the trees his mother did. She shook her head slowly.

 "Not quite yet, my son, but soon. One day, you will become stronger than your father, and steal the Tetsusaiga back from the hanyou." She began to walk away silently, leaving him to follow behind her. "For now, though, you will rest, and we will practice again tomorrow."

~*~

 Not the most secure and heart warming of childhoods, but it was his. At least he was not to become like his brother, arrogant and thick skulled. Or like his sister, hiding everything to please those around her. No one was to penetrate his defenses.

 But somehow, this girl did.

 His mind snapped at him abruptly. What was he to do? Everything had just been falling into place, and then his sister showed up, and changed his entire world, again. It was no use lying to himself any longer; things were not going to go back to normal. He was going to have to stay with his bastard brother and his little bitch, no matter how hard he was going to try and separate. But, it was obvious, Icari didn't want to leave the either of them, and he was going to be stuck here until she had had her full and finally decided that it was alright for the lot of them to split up.

 The reunion was not welcome.

 He didn't want to stay with the hanyou. He didn't want to have his defenses pulled down by a mere girl. He didn't want to change his lifestyle. But his sister was important to him, and he wanted to stay by her a little longer. But how long could he stay with this "pack" before he got up and left? Not long, considering that the hanyou and his bitch were at it, again.

 What were they fighting about now? It was certainly more quite than usual, so it must've been something important. He could've listened in, but he wasn't quite in the mood to play the little spy today.

 What had he just said? Gods, he had been around Icari too long. "Little spy"? What the hell had he been thinking? Words like that had never crossed his mind before, not even when they were just kids.

~*~

 "Hanyou bastard!" Sesshomaru, at age five, pounced towards the still stumbling hanyou in red, as the little newborn pup toddled away the fastest he could. It wasn't fast enough though, as he was catching up to him rapidly. Now, if Icari didn't show up…

 "Sesshomaru!" The three year old Icari leapt down and carried Inuyasha out of Sesshomaru's range, causing him to eat a face-full of dirt. Growling, he turned, to come face to face with an angry sister, even if she was a younger sister.

 "Sesshomaru-kun! You know better than to chase him! What do you have against Inuyasha anyways? Come on and lighten up!" Then, still clutching the newborn, she walked into the large estate, no doubt to pet the pup some more. Didn't she see how degrading the pup was? It was the symbol that would always remind them of the shameless man their father was.

 With another growl, Sesshomaru stood up, brushed himself off, and wandered into the forests, looking for his favorite spot; a rock in the middle of a pond. He could hide there.

~*~

 He shook the memory away, wondering how that could've come by the though of him spending too much time around his sister. It had almost no link. Hoping no other memories would come for a while, he glanced in the direction of his mother's grave, unconsciously gripping Rin tighter as he did.

~*~

 "Mother?" The normally quiet youkai boy ran through the halls of his large estate, searching for the woman who lived with him. The dark burgundy walls flashed with every bolt of lightning that shot through the sky. Paintings of his fathers loomed down on him, their eyes watching him, every move that he made.

 The youkai hid his fear though, through the mask he had been building since only a little bit before his sister's death. He passed another window, but stopped there, as he saw his mother outside it, soaked thoroughly by the rain. Her beautiful white kimono was drenched, with water… and blood.

 "Mother…" He wanted to scream, he wanted to yell, but he couldn't. His fathers were watching him, and there was no way he could show weakness, especially in front of them. Instead, he shattered the window listlessly, ignoring the pain as the glass sank into his arms and hands. The wounds would heal, but…

 "Sesshomaru…" His mother was alive, but her wrists, they weren't there. He recognized the results of the acidic attack, and ran. She didn't want to live, and she wasn't going to, but he wasn't going to watch.

~*~

 "Lord Sesshomaru!" Rin was hovering over him, her long black tresses, encasing him in a dark veil. Two large brown eyes watched him worriedly as he looked up at her. But her expression went from worried to relieved and she sat up straight, calling to the others.

 "Sesshomaru! Are you okay? You fell off the dragon on the way here. What happened brother?" Icari checked him over as she talked, checking his forehead and pulse. They were all back to normal.

 "Nothing." He sat up, immediately regretting it as a headache hit him full-fledged. Rin, from beside him, placed her warm hand on his chest, and smiled a bit, although the others didn't seemed to know what she was doing.

 "Sesshomaru, you should lay down, you hit your head pretty hard against a rock, and there's got to be a headache of some sort." True enough, she was drifting in and out of focus, but he was stubborn.

 "I'm fine." But as he was just about to sit up straight, the darkness swallowed him up again.


 Rin sighed as he fell back, and was glad his head was being pillowed by Inuyasha's haori… she grinned at the memory of what Kagome had to do to get him to lend his brother that. Even now, Inuyasha was probably still try to shoo the birds flying around his head away... Poor guy.

 "Rin-chan." Rin turned to face Icari, who had been the one to utter her name. She looked at Icari inquisitively. "Rin, have you noticed something different about Sesshomaru lately?"

 "Actually, I have, but it's so subtle, I wasn't sure." Her more mature voice still surprised her every time she heard it, but Rin was going to get used to this. "I didn't know if it was anything important, so I never told anybody."

 "Really? Well, how long has it been going on?" She heard a faint twitching sound, and noticed that Icari's ears were still at the top of her head. She must've forgotten to turn them back.

 "Just recently, since we entered these lands. Do you have any idea what it might be?" Icari shook her head.

 "No, but maybe… no, wait…" Ashe sniffed the air, and her eyes brightened. "We're by the old estates! Where we used to live, right? Rin, you should've been here." Rin's eyes widened; a bit embarrassed by the fact she hadn't known this.

 "I suppose… did you used to live by Sesshomaru's castle?" Icari nodded. "So then… do you have any idea what could be bothering him?" Rin asked hopefully, and waited as the youkai considered this.

 "Yes… I think. I have a hunch, but I'm not sure if it's true… Rin, does Sesshomaru act oddly when he's at the estates? It could be memories." Her mind snapped back to the howls she had heard the night before, and Icari realized that Sesshomaru was going through a deeper depression than she had. Hers had been evident, and shallow, but his…

 It was deeper, so deep that it was practically emitting off of him. He was confused, but at what exactly? Icari turned to Rin solemnly, surprising the girl.

 "Listen, Rin, I figured it out. He's going through a state of depression, like what everyone has to go through growing up. I have a favor to ask of you… take care of him, will you?" Rin's eyes widened even more in surprise.

 "What? Why? Won't you be here?" she was going to start stumbling if she continued.

 "Yes, I will, but you'll be able to do it better. He," she smirked, "is your mate, right?" Rin, as she predicted, blushed. Turning away, Icari knew she understood what she had to do, and why.

 "I will, but take care of your self too, right?" She gestured over to Yasuo, and Icari blushed.

 "Ooh, you're getting good."

*~*~*~*~*

I have a few confessions. First of all, I just realized this as I was writing, this story seems like it was never meant to have a full plot or whatever, but I just used an idea to work with a bunch of different styles of writing. You've probably noticed, throughout the entire story, that I've used a variety of different styles and genres, such as fluff, humor, action, romance, and angst.

 What else, I have to say, I really don't think that this chapter was my absolute best, so give and Comments and criticism you like, so I know what I did wrong here. I just have the feeling that this chapter was awkward, and was just wondering why. Any tips would be nice! So, with that off my chest… for the stats to the poll.

A) 4 votes
B) 2 votes
C) No votes.