Beetlejuice stretched as far as his joints could go, and possibly a bit further as he lifted his head from his shoulders and gave it a good spin before replacing it. Yawning and taking a long look out the window, he enjoyed his first few minutes of freedom with the greatest of relish.
Meanwhile, Lydia was slowly but surely inching her way towards the door.
She was almost touching the doorknob when the ghost turned and noticed her plan.
"Oh no, no, no babes. We've got too much planned for you to go off and escape."
Beetlejuice conjured strange, sectional metal bindings out of nowhere and sent them towards Lydia. As she gasped, they enveloped her and kept her arms pinned to her sides.
The amount of so much solid steel around her weighted Lydia to the floor, but not for long. Beetlejuice levitated her, upside-down, about five feet above the wooden boards below. Luckily, however, she was wearing pants for the first time in ages.
Thank god for small favors…
Beetlejuice stepped down onto the floor and walked over to Lydia, grinning. But Lydia had other ideas. Sucking in a phenomenal breath, she screamed as loud as she possibly could.
The ghost covered his ears and his face bore a look of pain. But with a snap of his fingers, a gag appeared over her mouth and her voice was rendered silent.
"Jesus, babes. Anyone ever tell you you're too loud?"
She shot him a look that, if given the chance, could have actually killed him. As the opportunity had passed centuries ago, he merely gave a faint grimace and sat down on her bed.
"You know, I can be a pretty reasonable guy. I realize that storming your room and tying you up is pretty rash and I'm probably going to regret it in the morning. But then again, I'm still pretty mad about what you and the Maitlands did to me.
"I was never good at math. But I figure being mad at one point and being sorry for it later even out. So I figure I'm in the clear.
"But hell, I might not feel bad about this in a couple of days. Even then, I'll still feel pretty good! So it works out all 'round, don't it, babes?"
He grinned again and noticed Lydia's face was becoming tomato red and she was having trouble breathing properly. Putting two and two together, he flipped her right side up and watched the blood level in her face return to normal.
Putting on an "I-care" act, he put his hands on her shoulders and reassured her.
"Hon, relax. It ain't time to worry about your life yet. I wouldn't waste all this precious you-and-me time so quickly. What without mom or dad to walk in for awhile, and the happily-deceased couple off in the Neitherworld for a review, you and me are gonna have some real fun."
Lydia's eyes widened and all the color drained from her face. Her expression puzzled him at first, but Beetlejuice suddenly realized what the chick must have been thinking. Even though he didn't plan on anything of the sort, it felt good to know she was afraid of losing more than her life.
"You see, while I was coming over, I sort of froze the Living World's time. So mom is in the kitchen, papa's in the hall, BJ's in the bedroom and babes is up a wall."
The stupid pun would have made Lydia laugh, if she wasn't already gagged and bound.
"So, you got a name, Toots?"
The gag came loose, and Lydia took a deep, clean breath. A true feat considering how close the dirt-bag was to her.
"L-Lydia," she managed to choke out. Beetlejuice considered this for a moment, putting a finger on his chin. Lydia took the time to try to wriggle free of her bindings, but a somewhat involuntary snapping of BJ's fingers and the gag was back on.
"Lydia, huh? Not especially attractive. I liked it when all I called you was 'babes'. I might just stick to that." He gave her a smile and floated, Indian-style, in the air.
"I got it. You know what, toots? I know exactly what I'm gonna do. Where's that weddin' dress I gave you that I may remind you you never returned?
Lydia thought for a moment, then shook her head.
"Don't know? That's a shame, cause I think I see it outside in the yard. Gimme a sec."
He disappeared and was back in a moment with the poor, disgruntled gown.
"Oh great, look at this! It's all ripped up and all the frills are missing. All that's left is this diamond-shaped thing with a hole in the middle." Beetlejuice pointed to the moldy thing.
Lydia also noticed that several spiders must have found it and made webs in it. The webs, however, were huge and expired, having turned black and the pattern sunk into the cloth itself. It had no hope of ever coming out.
BJ shrugged. "Ah well, beggars can't be choosers, can they babes? I never digged the schoolgirl outfit on you anyway."
A quick snap of the fingers and Beetlejuice was holding the school uniform in his hand, while the red shroud had appeared on Lydia, covering a black bodysuit of some sort.
"Much better." Beetlejuice was acting so perverted, he was making himself sick. He had to remind himself that it was all for the cause, and threw the outfit into the closet.
At that moment, an earth-shattering bang resounded from the third floor. For a moment, BJ floated next to Lydia, wondering what it could have been. But their questions were soon answered, as Barbara entered the room.
"Lydia? Lydia, we're ho-…oh my god!" She had gotten a full-scale view of the situation and gasped in surprise.
"What is it, Barbara? What the…" Adam entered as well and also did a double take at the floating couple.
"What are you doing with Lydia?" Mr. Maitland demanded of the haunt.
Beetlejuice shrugged and sighed. "We were just about to get the party started, you know. Ain't that right, babes?" BJ turned to Lydia with a smirk on his face.
As Lydia was furiously shaking her head, Barbara remembered how to send the ghost away.
"Beetlejuice!"
He looked up in surprise. Oh crap! He was going back!
"Beetlejuice!"
Gotta think quick, gotta think quick…aha!
"Beetlejuice!"
As smoke started to erupt from his feet, Beetlejuice grabbed onto the collar of Lydia's dress and stuck his tongue out at the Maitlands. A muffled scream from the bound girl ensued, as well as the disappearance of both the bogeyman and the girl.