OK, In the Daria fan fiction section I have a set of stories called "Fanfiction Four" a parody of Fantastic Four. A couple chapters were X Evolution cross-overs. In one called "Attack of the 50 Foot Cockroach" (Gave it a cheesy title on purpose.) Rogue touches Todd the way she did Kitty in SpykeCam and absorbs a memory Todd had been trying to forget. This is basically her thoughts on the way home. Warning: angst fest. I don't usually do angst, but here it goes.
It all started with that damn cockroach.
Long story short, a giant mutant cockroach was on the rampage in New York City. Sounds like something out of a cheesy B movie, I know, but that's what happened. Todd was visiting me when we heard the news, so he tagged along. He had a bright idea on how to stop the bug. Coat the street in slime and watch the bug get stuck in it. Here's the kicker. He knew he couldn't produce enough slime on his own, but if I tapped him, the two of us could do it. Well, I once brushed fingers with Kitty just long enough to get her dance moves. No ill effects. So I thought, what the hell.
It happens every time I drain someone. I always get their worst memories first. With Scott, it had been the plane crash. With Kitty, it had been the time Lance nearly killed her and her parents. Todd was the worst. Maybe it's because I love him so much that his pain is my pain. I heard about people doing sick things to their kids, but never realy knew anyone who had been through it.
The worst thing is, it was as if I lived it myself. The pain, the humiliation. Feeling like your own body isn't even yours. He has scars on his wrists from where he tried to cut himself. Anything to escape the pain. I've been there myself a few times. Wanting to fade out of existance so you don't hurt anymore. That's why he left Brooklyn. Being homeless on the streets was better than living in an apartment with a stepfather who used you for his own selfish pleasure and a mom who was to stoned to know what was going on.
This is why he kept himself dirty for so long. His stepfather complemented his smell while he was violating him. So, he stopped bathing to keep him away. All it did was make him angry. Then Todd ran away. Not many places on the street to take a shower. It's just a bad habit he got into and is just now starting to break.
He still has nightmares and flashbacks. He can't stand having his hands tied up. Earlier this month, we had been in my room, just fooling around. Fooling around as much as my mutation will let us. He started playing that game of "Oops, I Fell Down". He'd pretend to trip so he could grab my breasts. I playfully told him that if he couldn't behave, I was just going to have to tie him down. I grabbed one of my scarves and tied his wrists together.
"Marie, take it off." he told me.
I didn't notice the serious tone in his voice. "Uh-uh," I said. "You were naughty."
"Untie me, please!" I was startled to find tears forming in his eyes. I fumbled with the double knot I had tied. He was shaking when I finally took it off. I put my arms around him and held him tight, tried to stop his shaking.
"I'm so sorry." I whispered to him. "I didn't know. I won't ever do that again if you don't like it." He said nothing. I could tell he was biting back tears. "Do you wanna talk about it?" He shook his head no. I just held him for the rest of the evening, murmuring "I'm sorry." and "I love you." in turns.
The nightmares have subsided, giving way to beautiful dreams about me. But the flashbacks are still there. His last flashback was last week. He and Blob were, I guess you'd call it horseplaying. There's a major difference between guys who are friends and girls who are friends. Guys seldom hug each other and they never mess with each other's hair or nails. Even sitting and talking for too long is considered "girly". So, guys bond with each other by pretending to fight. Even in a play fight, Blob could easily overpower Todd. He had him face down on the floor, grasping both wrists together, telling him to say "Uncle". Todd went into hysterics. Blob tried to apologize. "I didn't mean to hurt you or nothing." he said. "I was only playing."
Todd knew Blob was telling the truth, but it was a while before he felt comfortable to be alone in a room with the big guy again.
I want to help you, Todd. I want you to heal. You think you have, but you haven't. I know you love me. I didn't have to drain you to know that. I know you trust me. I know that for you, trusting someone is a big step. But you can't help the flashbacks. Feeling helpless is terrifying for you. Please let me help you.
I love you.
It all started with that damn cockroach.
Long story short, a giant mutant cockroach was on the rampage in New York City. Sounds like something out of a cheesy B movie, I know, but that's what happened. Todd was visiting me when we heard the news, so he tagged along. He had a bright idea on how to stop the bug. Coat the street in slime and watch the bug get stuck in it. Here's the kicker. He knew he couldn't produce enough slime on his own, but if I tapped him, the two of us could do it. Well, I once brushed fingers with Kitty just long enough to get her dance moves. No ill effects. So I thought, what the hell.
It happens every time I drain someone. I always get their worst memories first. With Scott, it had been the plane crash. With Kitty, it had been the time Lance nearly killed her and her parents. Todd was the worst. Maybe it's because I love him so much that his pain is my pain. I heard about people doing sick things to their kids, but never realy knew anyone who had been through it.
The worst thing is, it was as if I lived it myself. The pain, the humiliation. Feeling like your own body isn't even yours. He has scars on his wrists from where he tried to cut himself. Anything to escape the pain. I've been there myself a few times. Wanting to fade out of existance so you don't hurt anymore. That's why he left Brooklyn. Being homeless on the streets was better than living in an apartment with a stepfather who used you for his own selfish pleasure and a mom who was to stoned to know what was going on.
This is why he kept himself dirty for so long. His stepfather complemented his smell while he was violating him. So, he stopped bathing to keep him away. All it did was make him angry. Then Todd ran away. Not many places on the street to take a shower. It's just a bad habit he got into and is just now starting to break.
He still has nightmares and flashbacks. He can't stand having his hands tied up. Earlier this month, we had been in my room, just fooling around. Fooling around as much as my mutation will let us. He started playing that game of "Oops, I Fell Down". He'd pretend to trip so he could grab my breasts. I playfully told him that if he couldn't behave, I was just going to have to tie him down. I grabbed one of my scarves and tied his wrists together.
"Marie, take it off." he told me.
I didn't notice the serious tone in his voice. "Uh-uh," I said. "You were naughty."
"Untie me, please!" I was startled to find tears forming in his eyes. I fumbled with the double knot I had tied. He was shaking when I finally took it off. I put my arms around him and held him tight, tried to stop his shaking.
"I'm so sorry." I whispered to him. "I didn't know. I won't ever do that again if you don't like it." He said nothing. I could tell he was biting back tears. "Do you wanna talk about it?" He shook his head no. I just held him for the rest of the evening, murmuring "I'm sorry." and "I love you." in turns.
The nightmares have subsided, giving way to beautiful dreams about me. But the flashbacks are still there. His last flashback was last week. He and Blob were, I guess you'd call it horseplaying. There's a major difference between guys who are friends and girls who are friends. Guys seldom hug each other and they never mess with each other's hair or nails. Even sitting and talking for too long is considered "girly". So, guys bond with each other by pretending to fight. Even in a play fight, Blob could easily overpower Todd. He had him face down on the floor, grasping both wrists together, telling him to say "Uncle". Todd went into hysterics. Blob tried to apologize. "I didn't mean to hurt you or nothing." he said. "I was only playing."
Todd knew Blob was telling the truth, but it was a while before he felt comfortable to be alone in a room with the big guy again.
I want to help you, Todd. I want you to heal. You think you have, but you haven't. I know you love me. I didn't have to drain you to know that. I know you trust me. I know that for you, trusting someone is a big step. But you can't help the flashbacks. Feeling helpless is terrifying for you. Please let me help you.
I love you.