Oboebyrd's Guide to Writing Formulaic Fanfiction
Frodo/Sam Slash? Not yet… sorry… I'm REALLY working on it… truly…
…and to those of you who thought that there was only one more chapter to go… NOT TRUE! I'll keep on going as long as I can!
But, I have recently become aware of Fanfiction.net's new policy- no lists. I don't know if this is a List, but just to keep it safe… here is the PERFECT formulaic Mary-Sue… with some added bonuses! :)
Oboebyrd Presents:
Love in Mirkwood
hi this is a gud stori about a gurl falling in luv w/ a certain elf i suck at summaries plz R/R! i need 20 reviews b4 i'll cntino!
1 happy day, a very pretty young human walked through the woods. She had a yellow flower behind each ear, and bright, bright blue eyes. Her hair was long and blonde, and the sheer beauty of her skin paled the flowers behind her ears, and made everything around her sparkle.
The perfect, beautiful girl looked around her. "Where am I?" She asked aloud. "I must have gotten lost."
Little did the beautiful, innocent girl from Bree know, she had wandered fifteen hundred leagues or so off course and was now in Mirkwood.
She looked around with worried blue eyes and bit her lip. Nearby, a enormously handsome (ooo, I luv Legolass SO much don't u?) elf watched her. He immediately fell in luv with the innocent girl because she was so pretty and good and pure and he could tell just by looking at her that he wanted to love her 4ever.
"What's wrong, beautiful maiden?" Legolass asked gently, hoping not to scare the poor innocent maiden away.
"Oh, I'm lost! I have no clue where my family is!" The beautiful maiden said, immediately trusting the prince cuz he was handsome and hot and sexy and …drool… sorry! But I LUV Legolass!
"I'll help you find your family," Legolass offered.
"Thank u! My name is Anglotheiruma! Thank u so much for offering to help me!" Anglotheiruma said gratefully, instantly falling in luv with the hot-gotta-luv-him-eat-him-all-up-and-sorry-I'm-doing-it-again-but-I-just-can't-stop-he's-so-hot! Prinze.
"It is no problem, my lady." Legolass said, bowing and leading her through the woods.
Little did the two heroes know, but evil, evil Orcs watched them from the nearby bushes! They suddenly leaped out and attacked!
Sexy prince Legolass whipped out his bow, and started shooting Orcs! Anglotheiruma sat by, looking stunned and horrified as they attacked. Legolass was worried since he didn't know what all the Orcs were doing in Mirkwood!
Then, one of the nasty Orcs stabbed him in the back! Legolass cried out in pain and immediately fainted. Anglotheiruma was horrified, but knew she had to protect the prince, so picked up his bow, and with one shot killed all the Orcs at once!
She then went to tend to the fallen Elf.
Three weeks later, Elf and human were married, and lived happily ever after, 4ever and 4ever, because the Valar looked down and smiled on Anglotheiruma and Legolass and made Anglotheiruma immortal so they could be happy forever. And Manwë gave Anglotheiruma one of the Silmarils, and that kept they happy forever and ever.
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I really hoped you liked it plz R/R cuz I won't go on to the next chapter until u do! Thanks 4 reading!
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Oboebyrd: Hey- that was actually really fun! ::Prepares to write another Mary-Sue, but her muses hold her back, beat her, and tie her up:: What! *I* thought it was fun! And I'm not serious about the 10 reviews. I don't PLAN on writing a sequel to this… thing… maybe Aragorn/Legolas slash next, hm? ::Muses strangle her::
Y'know… the scary thing is that I can actually pronounce her name… that means I FAILED!!! ::Sobs:: IT'S NOT THE PERFECT MARY-SUE!!! ::Hysterical sobs, until muses beat some more sense into her::