Disclaimer: I don't own anyone except Katie. Everyone else belongs to whoever they belong to.
Notes: Well, this is it. The end of this story. I might do a sequel in the near future, but I'm not promising anything. I've never really had good luck with sequels. Anywhoo... I really hope you all like it, and again, thank you to all those who reviewed. I've never had that many reviews before. So thanks and enjoy.
If It Be Your Will
" Just hold still." Nemo says sternly, yet with a touch of gentleness. Despite what he says, I tense completely as his hands approach my arm. He has cleaned it carefully with luke warm water, but it still looks ghastly, seeping blood slightly. The skin is pale, nearly as pale as my face is. My fingers clutch at the arm of my chair violently, my nails digging into the upholstery. I bite my lip, sinking my teeth in hard enough to draw blood as Nemo begins to clean the wounds with the best thing he could find. Whisky.
I don't make a sound as he cleans my wounds except for a few tiny whimpers and a few hisses as the liquid seems to burn my skin. Nemo is utterly silent, glancing at me a few times, but otherwise focusing solely on my arm. I let my eyes stray to the small porthole on my left and I try my best to keep my attention on that instead of the burning sensation on my arm.
After fainting, I was brought to the nearest cabin onboard Nemo's strange vessel by Allan. I woke up only a few minutes later, only to receive quite the tongue-lashing from him. I could only stare at him with wide eyes as he went on, his face turning scarlet. Finally, Nemo intervened and told Allan that I'd had enough. He left the room with a huff, though I could tell that his reaction stemmed from frustration and not real anger towards me.
I haven't seen any of the others. I'm sure they're either tending to the children or are seeking medical attention themselves. From what I saw of the battle, it was vicious.
Finally, the burning sensation on my arm dissipates as Nemo stops applying the alcohol to it. I turn my head and watch as he then wraps my arm tightly in a white bandage. The bandage covers my arms from wrist to shoulder, and I test it carefully, bending my arm slowly, then stretching it out. I give Nemo a look of approval and say," Thank you." He nods at me and then, after gathering up his medical supplies, he leaves.
Cradling my arm to my chest, I sit up, fully intending to find Henry. I fix my shirt and climb out of bed, pausing for a moment when the world spins wildly around me. When my vision is corrected, I head for the door slowly. I hastily smooth down my hair before striding out of the room. I smile and nod warmly at some of Nemo's men as they walk past me, surprised at the sheer numbers he has. When I stop one to ask if he knows where Henry is, he simply shrugs and says," This is a large ship, Miss." I thank him anyway and continue on.
Luckily for me, I run into Henry after only a few more minutes of searching. I smile at him, or rather, practically beam at him, fueled by my relief that my fear of never seeing him again were just that, fears. He does not return the smile, in fact, he doesn't even look at me. My smile fades, and is replaced with a look of anguish. I reach out with my uninjured hand almost without thinking, wanting to touch him. He jerks away from the touch, and then begins to move away. I spin around, staring after him for a moment, and then cry," Henry!"
He pauses, his back to me, and I can feel the tension running off of him in waves. I lick my lips and then desperately say," Please...." He sags a little, and I wait expectantly, hoping against hope that he will turn around and take me into his arms. I want to hear what he is thinking, but morals and the fact that my tapped energy won't allow it stops me. It seems like an eternity before he speaks again, and when he does all my hope is snatched away, leaving me shaken and empty inside.
" N-no." He stammers, and when he says it again, his voice carries a strength I have rarely heard from him. I swallow thickly, and raggedly say," Henry please, I'm sorry-"
" Stop. Just s-stop. I don't want t-to hear it." He says, cutting me off. Then he strides away from me before I can stop him, or even say another word. I stay where I am, completely frozen in place. I close my eyes when I hear a door slam shut a minute later. When I open them a minute later, my vision is blurred with tears. I blink and they slowly make their way down my face. My body trembles, my mind races, trying to think of ways to get him to listen to me, to make him forgive me. Finally, I move, leaning against the nearest wall, trying to catch my bearings.
God, was this how my mother felt when my father left her? I know their situation was different, but... the sheer pain of it.... How could she have stood it? My body seems to move of it's own accord, and before I know what I'm doing, I'm halfway back to my cabin. I pass one of Nemo's men on the way there, and I quicken my pace, not wanting anyone to see me cry. He pauses anyway, asking," Are you all right miss?"
" I'm fine." I snap as I pass him, and finally make it to my cabin. I shut the door behind me and then lean against it, my tremors becoming more violent. Though I knew Henry would be upset with me, there was some part of me that clung to the idea that he'd forgive me and take me back. My crying increases as I think this and my knees can no longer support me. I slide to the ground and then pull my knees up to my chin, unable to do anything else.
I'm not sure how much time passes, but it must be significant. I fall into a strange sort of spell, one dominated by the incredible feeling of numbness in my belly, which spreads to the rest of my limbs like some sort of sickness. The sheer force of it cows me, but I know that I do deserve it. I've betrayed his trust. He gave me a gift, a fragile little gift, and I shattered it. The darkness grows steadily inside me.
A sharp knock at the door sends me out of my stupor, and I only barely remember to respond to it, sounding dazed when I do.
" Are you well?" A voice that I recognize as Nemo's calls out. I nod, even though he can't possibly see the action, and reply," Yes... yes I'm fine." I let out a mirthless chuckle at the complete lack of truth to the statement. There is silence, and I can only assume he's left me alone. I sigh heavily and drag myself away from the door. I crawl into bed, fully clothed, and stare out the porthole. It's darker now, and I can just barely see what's left of the rosy pink sky made by the sunset.
It seems like only minutes pass before another voice floats through the door, this one Tom's. He sounds much stronger as he tells me that the rest of the League has gathered for dinner. I shudder at the notion of food and call back," I'm not hungry." He tries again, this time trying to persuade me, saying," They have oysters." He says it in a singsong voice, as if he expects me to actually be tempted by it.
I am horrified to hear my very own voice angrily shouting," Would you just leave me alone?!" There is a pause, and then Tom softly says," Sorry." I feel like I've kicked a puppy. I try to push everything out of my mind, knowing that I'll go mad if I think of it all now. I fall asleep sometime during my attempt and spent the rest of the night fighting nightmares in a restless sleep, tossing and turning, feeling less at ease now then I did back at Moreau's lair.
I wake up when the first light of morning comes, and again I stare out of the porthole. I know I have to get up today, that I can't stay in the safety of this room for the remainder of the journey, and the thought makes my stomach churn. The numbness hasn't dissipated during the night, as I had hoped. Is this what it's like to have your heart broken?
I manage to get myself up and out of bed, but when I go to the mirror, I immediately want to crawl right back into bed and hide until we reach our destination. I look haggard, as if I had been in battle a thousand times, instead of just once. My eyes reflect my inner sadness just as easily as the mirror reflects my image. I sigh heavily and begin to make myself presentable, not wanting anyone to know what happened, at least not right now.
I finally leave my room and I am struck with the odd feeling that I've been in seclusion longer than I had thought. Things seem foreign to me, even being on my feet feels odd to me. I decide to see if the children need help at all, as I'm sure not many people have time to tend to them right now. I find them easily enough, surprisingly. They are in a larger room which I can only assume is the dining room, playing around as if they didn't have a care in the world. I observe them for a moment, my mind taking me back to a time when I was actually happy, when I felt loved and I felt safe.
'Damn you mother,' I curse mentally,' why did you have to leave me?'
" Well look who's up and about." A voice behind me says. I let a smile cross my lips before I turn to face Skinner, who's dressed and grease painted. He gives me a half grin and says," Where've you been, luv?" I am tempted to reply,' Hell' but instead I simply answer," The strain put me out like a light. I couldn't believe how tired I was."
" How's the arm?" He asks, his face tilting down towards the appendage. I sigh slightly and answer," It's all right. It hurts, of course, but it'll be okay." I demonstrate my point by bending my arm a little. He nods in what appears to be approval, and almost gruffly says," I'm glad... I was uh... worried, for awhile there." I look at him, eyebrows raised, and tease," Why Skinner, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you're getting soft on me."
" Ha!" He barks, sounding relieved that I haven't made the situation more awkward by making a huge fuss over his statement. I snort out a laugh, but to my own ears it lacks any real mirth. He doesn't seem to notice, or perhaps he just doesn't want to call me on it. Either way, it doesn't really matter, as we fall into a companionable silence. The children eventually notice us in the doorway and a few bold ones come running over, grabbing onto my skirts and tugging eagerly as they beg me to play with them.
Amused, I allow a few of them to drag me over to their little group. I soon find myself surrounded by them, many pairs of eyes trained on me as I regale them with a spur-of-the-moment fairy tale about a Princess and a Prince and a dragon. I'm so busy with the children that I almost don't even notice Henry appear in the doorway about halfway through. The only thing that draws my attention to him is the movement of his body as he turns to leave. I pause in the middle of my story, tensing as I wait for him to act. His eyes never meet mine in the brief moments before he leaves again, leaving me to wonder if he was actually here in the first place.
My disappointment is great, and I can feel the aching of my heart renew itself. I feel my cheeks heat up as my eyes move to where Skinner is standing, having seen the entire exchange. I tell myself to let it go, again moving my eyes to the door, praying that Henry will return.
" Miss?" One of the children questions, breaking me out of my reverie. I blink a few times and then apologize, picking the story back up. My voice is shaky at first, but I manage to overcome it slowly, and soon my voice has taken on a strength that I do not feel. When I finish my tale, the children immediately ask for another. Thankfully, before I am lead by guilt into telling another, Skinner steps in and says," I think Miss Howard has had enough for now." They disperse, finding new activities rather quickly. I give Skinner a thankful look and take my leave, my arm aching something fierce now.
~~~
When I first step onto the docks when we finally make it back home, I feel none of the joy that I thought I would at returning. Any hopes I had of getting Henry to stop being angry were dashed each time he avoided my eyes... or avoided me altogether. The only one of the others who knows something is wrong is Skinner, and he doesn't talk about it with me. Part of me is glad, as the thought of dragging up all those feelings to the surface just makes me feel sick to my stomach.
The children's parents are waiting for us, all anxious to see their children. After quite some time, Nemo was able to contact the authorities and was able to inform them that the children had been found. It took awhile, but we were able to find the homes for each of the children. I take a moment from my own misery to watch the joyful reunions between child and parent.
I nod politely as several of the parents thank me and the others, many of the women with tears in their eyes. I say goodbye to the children and watch with an almost sad glance as they turn and leave. I know that I will never see them again, and I find a lump growing in my throat at the thought. They are dear children, and I have grown fond of them in our short time together.
" Y'gonna be alright?"
I turn and give a weak smile as Tom places a hand on my shoulder, nodding. He smiles back and, having long since forgotten my harsh words to him before, says," C'mon. I think we're all ready to get home." I nod again, and watch as Nemo's men unload his automobile. My eyes stray to Henry's form, where he's leaning against a post on the edge of the docks. His eyes are focused on the churning water, though I know he doesn't really see it. He's lost in his thoughts, and looks slightly sad. I want to go comfort him desperately, but I know it would only be spurned.
It seems like only moments pass before we're in Nemo's automobile, only just having enough room for all of us. The ride is unusually tense, but I only barely notice it. I stare out the window, watching the scenery go by. I can't say I'm eager to get home, but I'm very happy at the prospect of getting out of the automobile. I find it very disorienting. While it is a novel idea, I very much doubt that this automobile business will catch on.
I am one of the first out of the automobile when we reach home, but while the others hurry up the steps, smiles crossing their faces, I can only stand at the bottom of the stairs and stare up. It's strange... while I was imprisoned on Moreau's island, I wanted nothing more than to be here. Now that I am, I half wish that I wasn't. I shake my head, as if trying to rid myself of such thoughts, and climb the stairs.
Inside, I immediately head towards my room, wanting to be alone again. I am just at my door when I spot Henry heading down the hallway, his back to me. I hesitate for a moment, and watch as he walks into the library, shutting the door behind him. I bite my lip, wondering what I should do. I make up my mind after only a moment's deliberation, jogging towards the library even as my mind screams at me not to.
When I slip into the library, I am greeted with an almost heartbreaking sight. Henry is sitting on the table, staring off into space. He's lost in his thoughts, just as he had been on the docks, and again I want to comfort him. I take a step forward, and the sound of the door closing behind him startles him out of his thoughts. He looks at me for a moment and his gaze is almost cold. I shiver a little and whisper," Henry?"
" Yes?" He answers. I breathe a sigh of relief; at least he's acknowledging my presence. I lick my lips and then continue," I'm sorry Henry." As soon as the words are out of my mouth, Henry shakes his head and stammers," I-I don't think y-you are though."
" Henry please-"
" If you tell me right now," he interrupts, getting to his feet," that if you could do it all over, you wouldn't have lied, you wouldn't have left like that... I will forgive you."
I stare at him in surprise, at a loss for words. His eyes, for once, never waver and his gaze has turned piercing. I look away from him, searching my heart for the answer. I close my eyes, thinking of what might have happened had I not gone when I had. I let out a shuddering breath, my arm aching suddenly, and then slowly shake my head.
" I think you already know what my answer is." I say softly, and I know he can hear the sadness there. I open my eyes and look at him. His posture is now slumped, and I can see the pain in his eyes as our gazes connect. I swallow thickly and then continue," I had to, Henry. I had to. Can't you understand...?" I know my words are falling on deaf ears, and so I stop talking for the moment.
A moment of silence passes between us, and I see with sudden clarity that we are in a very difficult situation. I knew it was bad before, but I didn't know just how bad until now. I heave a sigh, and then say the most difficult thing I have ever had to say before in my life.
" Henry," I say softly and slowly," if you want me to leave, I will. Just tell me to go and I will." He lowers his head at my words, as if they have put a new weight there. I hold my breath, waiting for his response. I know that what I have said is true, and that I would leave if it would be easier for him. When he looks up again, his voice wavers as if he too is near tears.
" Y-yes." He says, so softly that I have to strain to hear him," G-go."
The words sting like nothing I have ever felt before. Sobs lodge in my throat, and I have to struggle in order to say," If that's what you want... I'll go." I turn away from him, not wanting him to see me cry. As the tears stream down my face, I just barely manage to choke out," I want you to know that I... I'll never forget you, Henry." My statement is greeted with silence, and everything suddenly is just too much to bear. I run out of the library.
Once I have reached my room, I let the tears come as I collapse onto the floor, holding myself upright with my good arm. I breathe deeply, trying not to let myself give into hysteria. I had had no idea that he felt so strongly. I had half hoped that he would have taken me into his arms instead of pushing me away. Such were my thoughts, the thoughts of a silly little girl, not a woman.
Not the woman Henry wants.
The thought propels me to my feet. I grab my bag and with feverish movements, I pack my things. I throw things into my bag haphazardly, my tears still falling. Once I have everything in my bag, which doesn't take much time at all, I carry it to the door. I glance around the room one last time, and then slip out into the hallway again.
I manage to get to the front door without running into anyone. I open the front door and pause for a moment, waiting for someone to come and stop me.
Nobody does.
My heart sinks along with my hopes. I head outside, not entirely sure as to where I am about to go, but fully intending to get as far away from Henry as possible. The same thought keeps repeating itself over and over in my mind.
He doesn't want me.
My entire body feels as if it's being shrouded in despair. I have never felt so rejected before, not even when I was a child. I keep my head down as I pass people in the streets, not wanting them to see my pain. However, my emotions quickly overcome me. I duck into an alley as my tears come, and I lean against the side of a building, resting my forehead in my hand. I tell myself to stop, but my body refuses to listen. I quickly descend into sobs which wrack my entire body. I slowly slide down the side of the wall until I'm crouched down and then begin to cry into the fabric of my dress.
I'm not sure how long I'm there for before I sense the presence. Usually when I sense someone, I get feelings and impressions of them. Sometimes, I even get thoughts which drift towards me without the other person having any idea that I know what they're thinking. I have to get a lock on them before I can shut them out.
But this being, whatever it is, is different. I'm given a vague impression of perfume. It's exotic, only a gentle breeze and a fleeting whiff of a musky, heady scent. There are no thoughts to accompany this, instead, it's almost as if the person doesn't actually exist. I lift my head, my curiosity distracting me from my sadness for a moment. When my eyes fall upon the figure in the shadows, I immediately leap to my feet, the recent battle making me wary.
The first thing I think of when I see him is exotic. With his almost beautiful features: beautiful cheekbones, pale skin and piercing black eyes, he's more god than man. He steps out of the shadows, not fully into the light, but enough so I can see him. He smiles at me, and for some reason which I can't pin point, the gesture makes me shiver in fear.
" My dear," he says," why are you crying?"
" I-I..." I stammer, unsure of what to make of him," W-who are you?" His smile gets wider, and for a moment I think he's amused by the question. He gives a slight bow and gently says," I am a friend." I open my mouth to rebuke the response, but I find myself at a loss for words. His black eyes force me to look at him, arrest my body and make me stay. I draw in a shuddering breath as he lifts a hand, sure that he's going to hurt me in some way. He crooks a finger at me, and strangely, I find myself moving towards him.
When I am mere inches away from him I stop, though it is an entirely unwillingly. I stare at him, entranced by those eyes. The darkness... it's seductive. It's drawing me in and encompassing me, suffocating me. I draw out a shaky breath and watch as his pale hands reach out. His cold, bony fingers wrap around my neck, but they aren't tight enough to hurt me. Our gaze never breaks and suddenly, his voice is in my head.
" Look at me... Yes, look."
" You feel like death," I mentally whisper back," you are decay."
I whimper, suddenly terrified, and let out a squeak as he suddenly brings me close to him, pressing our foreheads together. A jolt runs through me, making me jerk against him and go completely tense. Something passes between us, a connection of a mental sort. I bunch up my hands into fists and weakly throw punches at him, though it does no good.
Slowly, I feel resistance ebb away from my body completely. He draws me into his arms, holding me like he would a lover. I cling to him, feeling as if I need to touch him, as if he is the only thing sustaining me. I swallow thickly, weak and yet elated at the same time. I look up at him and smile, suddenly feeling at home with him, like I belong here in his arms.
" Who are you?" I ask again, this time without a trace of fear. He gives me that same smile back, and then leans in close. His scent surrounds me like the most exotic of flowers from the most exotic of places. His breath is hot on my ear as he answers me.
" My name," he says," is Dracula."
[End]