Oboebyrd's Guide to Writing Formulaic Fanfiction
((ATTENTION: Do not read if you have recently eaten, have weak neck and back muscles, or are pregnant or nursing! This author is not responsible for any injuries received while riding this story to it's bitter end.))
Chapter 9: The Ultimate Mary Sue Revisited: AKA, Oboebyrd Tries IT Again
1 day, there wuz a prety little gurl in the woods. Her name wuz Mulaeiianae, + she wuz very prety. She had long blonde hair that wuz so light it wuz like the most beautiful snow in the wurld, + every day she brushed it so it was almost as prety as she wuz.
But sence Mulaeiianae wuz the pretiest gurl in the wurld, not even her hare culd be pretier. She always wore the best clothes in the wurld, because princes came from all over to try to marry her. 2day she wuz wearing a prety yelow dress, like her hare, w/ many frills and lace and it sparkled when she walked, making her even pretier than she wuz.
She had a blue flouer in her hare, and it brought out the blue in her I's. And around her neck, she had 4 blue stones on a necklace that she had gotten from her parents B4 they disappeared and left her alone becuz they were gone. She luved the necklace very much becuz it was prety just like her.
1 day, Mulaeiianae was skipping happily along.She wuz going through the woods, which her parents had told her never to du. "It's dark in the woods." they said "And we dun't want u getting hurt by big scary monsters who want to devour your pretiness."
But since her parents had disappeared and were gone and couldn't tell her what to do anymore, Mulaeiianae went skipping through the woods. It wuz dark and scary, and Mulaeiianae's prety lower lip trembled, and she wished that she had listend to her parents when they told her not 2 go.
Suddenly, orcs attacked! They were as not prety as Mulaeiianae was prety. "We're gunna eat u up!" The Orcs roared, and attacked!
Mulaeiianae wuz very scared, and ran away. She tore up her prety dress, and wuz sad and scared then, 2. Then, a handsum prince came down, and rescued her! He beat up all the mean Orcs and took Mulaeiianae back to his house.
"Who are you, brave prince?" Mulaeiianae asked than handsum prince.
"My name is Legolas Greenleaf." Said the handsum prince, but he didn't seem to like Mulaeiianae much.
"Thank u 4 saving me." Mulaeiianae said, and she didn't like him either.
"Mayb if u hadn't been wandering in the woods, you wouldn't have gotten chaseded." Legolas said.
"i can very well do as i please!" Said Mulaeiianae.
Legolas and Mulaeiianae stared at each other. They could take it no longer! The 2 lept at each other and (U know the rest i dun't write that nastie stuff!)
Later, Legolas and Mulaeiianae were in the woods, looking for flowers becuz Mulaeiianae wuz in need of another. They were verry worried becuz wot if Legolas's father didn't like Mulaeiianae?
Suddenly, Orcs attacked! Legolas fought them off bravely, but there wuz too many!
Mulaeiianae was terrified, but she saw Legolas fall! So, she picked up a sord, and killed all the Orcs, fighting with skill unsurpased by ne of the greatest warriors!
Mulaeiianae kissed Legolas's wounds, and tey vanised. Legolas tooke Mulaeiianae home, and Legolas's father didn't like her. But Legolas told Legolas's father (Dun't know his name! Did they ever mention it in the movie?) how brave Mulaeiianae wuz and how gud a fighter she wuz.
But Legolas's father was a awful ogre and still wouldn't let Legolas marry Mulaeiianae. So Legolas wuz very brave and killed his father and the whole kingdom was happy because his father was very mean.
legolas became king and Mulaeiianae was his queen! And they lived happily ever ater.
THE END
((If i get 20 reviews i'll write aother gud chapter like this 1 u know u want it!))
~~~~~ Oboebyrd: I feel as if I am regressing.
((ATTENTION: Do not read if you have recently eaten, have weak neck and back muscles, or are pregnant or nursing! This author is not responsible for any injuries received while riding this story to it's bitter end.))
Chapter 9: The Ultimate Mary Sue Revisited: AKA, Oboebyrd Tries IT Again
1 day, there wuz a prety little gurl in the woods. Her name wuz Mulaeiianae, + she wuz very prety. She had long blonde hair that wuz so light it wuz like the most beautiful snow in the wurld, + every day she brushed it so it was almost as prety as she wuz.
But sence Mulaeiianae wuz the pretiest gurl in the wurld, not even her hare culd be pretier. She always wore the best clothes in the wurld, because princes came from all over to try to marry her. 2day she wuz wearing a prety yelow dress, like her hare, w/ many frills and lace and it sparkled when she walked, making her even pretier than she wuz.
She had a blue flouer in her hare, and it brought out the blue in her I's. And around her neck, she had 4 blue stones on a necklace that she had gotten from her parents B4 they disappeared and left her alone becuz they were gone. She luved the necklace very much becuz it was prety just like her.
1 day, Mulaeiianae was skipping happily along.She wuz going through the woods, which her parents had told her never to du. "It's dark in the woods." they said "And we dun't want u getting hurt by big scary monsters who want to devour your pretiness."
But since her parents had disappeared and were gone and couldn't tell her what to do anymore, Mulaeiianae went skipping through the woods. It wuz dark and scary, and Mulaeiianae's prety lower lip trembled, and she wished that she had listend to her parents when they told her not 2 go.
Suddenly, orcs attacked! They were as not prety as Mulaeiianae was prety. "We're gunna eat u up!" The Orcs roared, and attacked!
Mulaeiianae wuz very scared, and ran away. She tore up her prety dress, and wuz sad and scared then, 2. Then, a handsum prince came down, and rescued her! He beat up all the mean Orcs and took Mulaeiianae back to his house.
"Who are you, brave prince?" Mulaeiianae asked than handsum prince.
"My name is Legolas Greenleaf." Said the handsum prince, but he didn't seem to like Mulaeiianae much.
"Thank u 4 saving me." Mulaeiianae said, and she didn't like him either.
"Mayb if u hadn't been wandering in the woods, you wouldn't have gotten chaseded." Legolas said.
"i can very well do as i please!" Said Mulaeiianae.
Legolas and Mulaeiianae stared at each other. They could take it no longer! The 2 lept at each other and (U know the rest i dun't write that nastie stuff!)
Later, Legolas and Mulaeiianae were in the woods, looking for flowers becuz Mulaeiianae wuz in need of another. They were verry worried becuz wot if Legolas's father didn't like Mulaeiianae?
Suddenly, Orcs attacked! Legolas fought them off bravely, but there wuz too many!
Mulaeiianae was terrified, but she saw Legolas fall! So, she picked up a sord, and killed all the Orcs, fighting with skill unsurpased by ne of the greatest warriors!
Mulaeiianae kissed Legolas's wounds, and tey vanised. Legolas tooke Mulaeiianae home, and Legolas's father didn't like her. But Legolas told Legolas's father (Dun't know his name! Did they ever mention it in the movie?) how brave Mulaeiianae wuz and how gud a fighter she wuz.
But Legolas's father was a awful ogre and still wouldn't let Legolas marry Mulaeiianae. So Legolas wuz very brave and killed his father and the whole kingdom was happy because his father was very mean.
legolas became king and Mulaeiianae was his queen! And they lived happily ever ater.
THE END
((If i get 20 reviews i'll write aother gud chapter like this 1 u know u want it!))
~~~~~ Oboebyrd: I feel as if I am regressing.