Oboebyrd's Guide to Writing Formulaic Fanfiction
Chapter 10: Tangent Fiction
Did anyone ever say to you in a review: Your fiction was good, but I just didn't get the point?
This is the signature of a work of fiction so insidiously beautiful that all other kinds of fiction must weep and bow before it.
Tangent fiction can be anything. From the Ultimate Mary Sue to the most pointless and destructive of character-bashing skits, tangent fiction covers them all. It is not so much a type of fiction as a style, and as a style, it must be respected for it's beauty.
How does one write a Tangent Fiction? I'll tell you.
1.) Never Get to the Point.
It is important, that while writing a Tangent Fiction, you find many other things to talk about. You can never simply settle on one thing and describe it... many other facets of your story demand attention at that exact moment. You may be describing your Mary Sue's perfect hair, but then talk about the stylist who trimmed it. And the stylist's boyfriend. And the man who tried to kill the stylist's boyfriend. And the girlfriend of the attempted murderer, who just never COULD open any sort of pickle jars. And the man at the pickle company who evilly planned to take over the world by making pickle jars unopenable. Every once in awhile, returning to the actual storyline is a good idea.
2.) Connect...
The good Tangent Fiction writer knows when to finally stop the tangent and return to the story line. The good Tangent Fiction writer also knows how to connect their last story-line thought with their new story-line. The thread of consciousness can not be dropped, nor acknowledge the Tangent (a holy, wholly separate being from the rest of the fiction) but must simply restart the story from the exact same point that it was left off. Tying in the Tangent to the rest of the story is not the job of the Tangent Writer; it is the job of the Reader, who should automatically know how to handle such Tangent Situations.
3.) ...but not very well
The Tangent Fiction Writer knows that people expect a certain amount of continuity from them, but also knows how much continuity will ruin the story line. The Tangents must be unrelated to the story: so must the story be, insofar as it is possible, unrelated to itself. This is an abstract concept, and certainly a difficult one to grasp, but continuity in the actual storyline is not acceptable. Plot spoilers offered (aka, my mother died when I was three) must be disregarded for more cheerful uses later. (aka, when I was twelve, my mother told me...) Continuity is not favored.
4.) Enjoy Trivialities.
Thoroughness is respected, but excess thoroughness is even better. Simply exploring a situation is not acceptable. The situation must be picked apart... no room for reader inference on minor points is allowed. Each point must be belabored beyond recognition. Recognition is, of course, not necessarily an important point. As long as there are words on the paper, it is a story... the more words, the better the story.
5.) Include inside jokes
There are two ways to insert an inside joke into your story: A, explain it until it won't seem funny at all, or B, just say 'it's an inside joke'. I prefer that latter, because it gives the reader the feeling that there was no fault on the part of the author; they're just stupid. Either way, inside jokes are important. It doesn't matter if the inside joke will probably seem just as funny to anyone else, because the 'inside joke' is really a joke everyone uses all the time. It doesn't even matter if your inside joke has nothing at all to do with the story. But it is still important to include them.
I hope you find this guide to writing the proper Tangent Fiction helpful. Next week, we will assist your blossoming Formulaic skills with another, as- of-yet unknown chapter.
~~~~~~~~~~ Oboebyrd: Have a wonderful night, and don't hit any kittens.
Chapter 10: Tangent Fiction
Did anyone ever say to you in a review: Your fiction was good, but I just didn't get the point?
This is the signature of a work of fiction so insidiously beautiful that all other kinds of fiction must weep and bow before it.
Tangent fiction can be anything. From the Ultimate Mary Sue to the most pointless and destructive of character-bashing skits, tangent fiction covers them all. It is not so much a type of fiction as a style, and as a style, it must be respected for it's beauty.
How does one write a Tangent Fiction? I'll tell you.
1.) Never Get to the Point.
It is important, that while writing a Tangent Fiction, you find many other things to talk about. You can never simply settle on one thing and describe it... many other facets of your story demand attention at that exact moment. You may be describing your Mary Sue's perfect hair, but then talk about the stylist who trimmed it. And the stylist's boyfriend. And the man who tried to kill the stylist's boyfriend. And the girlfriend of the attempted murderer, who just never COULD open any sort of pickle jars. And the man at the pickle company who evilly planned to take over the world by making pickle jars unopenable. Every once in awhile, returning to the actual storyline is a good idea.
2.) Connect...
The good Tangent Fiction writer knows when to finally stop the tangent and return to the story line. The good Tangent Fiction writer also knows how to connect their last story-line thought with their new story-line. The thread of consciousness can not be dropped, nor acknowledge the Tangent (a holy, wholly separate being from the rest of the fiction) but must simply restart the story from the exact same point that it was left off. Tying in the Tangent to the rest of the story is not the job of the Tangent Writer; it is the job of the Reader, who should automatically know how to handle such Tangent Situations.
3.) ...but not very well
The Tangent Fiction Writer knows that people expect a certain amount of continuity from them, but also knows how much continuity will ruin the story line. The Tangents must be unrelated to the story: so must the story be, insofar as it is possible, unrelated to itself. This is an abstract concept, and certainly a difficult one to grasp, but continuity in the actual storyline is not acceptable. Plot spoilers offered (aka, my mother died when I was three) must be disregarded for more cheerful uses later. (aka, when I was twelve, my mother told me...) Continuity is not favored.
4.) Enjoy Trivialities.
Thoroughness is respected, but excess thoroughness is even better. Simply exploring a situation is not acceptable. The situation must be picked apart... no room for reader inference on minor points is allowed. Each point must be belabored beyond recognition. Recognition is, of course, not necessarily an important point. As long as there are words on the paper, it is a story... the more words, the better the story.
5.) Include inside jokes
There are two ways to insert an inside joke into your story: A, explain it until it won't seem funny at all, or B, just say 'it's an inside joke'. I prefer that latter, because it gives the reader the feeling that there was no fault on the part of the author; they're just stupid. Either way, inside jokes are important. It doesn't matter if the inside joke will probably seem just as funny to anyone else, because the 'inside joke' is really a joke everyone uses all the time. It doesn't even matter if your inside joke has nothing at all to do with the story. But it is still important to include them.
I hope you find this guide to writing the proper Tangent Fiction helpful. Next week, we will assist your blossoming Formulaic skills with another, as- of-yet unknown chapter.
~~~~~~~~~~ Oboebyrd: Have a wonderful night, and don't hit any kittens.