Oboebyrd's Guide to Writing Formulaic Fanfiction
Chapter 11: The Many Uses of Gandalf
Over the years, we have seen many different versions of our beloved Gandalf. From Gandalf the Grey to Gandalf the White, from cheerful Hobbit- friend to mighty wizard to the White Rider, all of these versions of Gandalf have been cheerfully accepted by the close-knit society of Fanfiction writers.
Or have they?
There have been many discrepancies on how to portray Gandalf. Below, I shall rate each of the Many Uses of Gandalf.
1.) The God... many people may not know this, but Gandalf is a very powerful being... very near the scale of the Valar themselves. This is inconvenient for Fanfiction writers. Giving Gandalf great and godlike powers immediately makes him able to crush the plots of any warlords who are, say, trying to rape Aragorn, for example. So, Gandalf the God gets a C- ... inconvenient but true.
2.) The Wise One... Though 'Wise One' ultimately becomes 'Gives twisted advice every once in awhile', this is a fairly common usage of dear Gandalf. He is obviously old. And most old people know things. And he can also set off pretty cool fireworks. Gandalf is a wise old man, even though he isn't technically a man, and he still can't figure out how to stop the pesky warlord who wants to rape Aragorn. So this usage of Gandalf receives a B+... for popularity, not because I necessarily agree with everything old people have to say.
3.) The Playful Fire-cracker Man... though Gandalf is certainly very adept at creating cutesy little magical fireworks, it is not his only talent. Unfortunetly, many people believe it is so. While I can certainly understand why Elrond Half-Elven would send a fireworks man along with the Fellowship, something is missing by simply giving Gandalf this one talent. No... it's common, but familiarity does not make this usage less evil. I give it a D, but I feel I'm be very generous.
4.) The Mighty Wizard... This is true! But so often overlooked. I like my Gandalfs to be Mighty Wizard... it brings out the gray in his character, if you catch my meaning. When you happen to catch a Mighty Wizard Gandalf, it's always impressive. These majestic creatures will enliven even the dullest of Ecological-waste fanfictions. Protect the earth: Save a Mighty Wizard Gandalf. A
5.) The old Sex-God... Eeeew... D-
6.) The Ninth member of the Fellowship who like... got killed by some Balrog, right? ... Lack of education, or lack of caring? When Gandalf is shunted to the side of a fanfiction, the fiction shudders and suffers. Gandalf was, in the books, a rather important character... missing out on his potential in fanfiction is a horrible crime. F. No more... maybe less, if it were possible.
I hope you found these Ratings of the Many Different Uses of Gandalf helpful in your daily life.
Have a nice day.
~~~~~ Oboebyrd: No... really. Have a nice day. I mean it.
Chapter 11: The Many Uses of Gandalf
Over the years, we have seen many different versions of our beloved Gandalf. From Gandalf the Grey to Gandalf the White, from cheerful Hobbit- friend to mighty wizard to the White Rider, all of these versions of Gandalf have been cheerfully accepted by the close-knit society of Fanfiction writers.
Or have they?
There have been many discrepancies on how to portray Gandalf. Below, I shall rate each of the Many Uses of Gandalf.
1.) The God... many people may not know this, but Gandalf is a very powerful being... very near the scale of the Valar themselves. This is inconvenient for Fanfiction writers. Giving Gandalf great and godlike powers immediately makes him able to crush the plots of any warlords who are, say, trying to rape Aragorn, for example. So, Gandalf the God gets a C- ... inconvenient but true.
2.) The Wise One... Though 'Wise One' ultimately becomes 'Gives twisted advice every once in awhile', this is a fairly common usage of dear Gandalf. He is obviously old. And most old people know things. And he can also set off pretty cool fireworks. Gandalf is a wise old man, even though he isn't technically a man, and he still can't figure out how to stop the pesky warlord who wants to rape Aragorn. So this usage of Gandalf receives a B+... for popularity, not because I necessarily agree with everything old people have to say.
3.) The Playful Fire-cracker Man... though Gandalf is certainly very adept at creating cutesy little magical fireworks, it is not his only talent. Unfortunetly, many people believe it is so. While I can certainly understand why Elrond Half-Elven would send a fireworks man along with the Fellowship, something is missing by simply giving Gandalf this one talent. No... it's common, but familiarity does not make this usage less evil. I give it a D, but I feel I'm be very generous.
4.) The Mighty Wizard... This is true! But so often overlooked. I like my Gandalfs to be Mighty Wizard... it brings out the gray in his character, if you catch my meaning. When you happen to catch a Mighty Wizard Gandalf, it's always impressive. These majestic creatures will enliven even the dullest of Ecological-waste fanfictions. Protect the earth: Save a Mighty Wizard Gandalf. A
5.) The old Sex-God... Eeeew... D-
6.) The Ninth member of the Fellowship who like... got killed by some Balrog, right? ... Lack of education, or lack of caring? When Gandalf is shunted to the side of a fanfiction, the fiction shudders and suffers. Gandalf was, in the books, a rather important character... missing out on his potential in fanfiction is a horrible crime. F. No more... maybe less, if it were possible.
I hope you found these Ratings of the Many Different Uses of Gandalf helpful in your daily life.
Have a nice day.
~~~~~ Oboebyrd: No... really. Have a nice day. I mean it.