Scary Movie II: The Mood of Lauqes
(Mai is doing her makeup for the prom when her mom walks in)
Mai: Momma, do I look pretty?
Mom: You look like a prostitute.
Mai: Good! That's what I was aiming for.
Mom: I don't want you to go to the prom, Mai.
Mai: Why?
Mom: I know what goes on at the prom. You drink alcohol, you smoke drugs, and you play naked Twister!
Mai: There will be several adult chaperones there!
Mom: What's that got to do with anything?
Mai: It makes it legal.
Mom: Your dirty pillows are showing.
Mai: They're breast, momma. Breasts!
Mom: They were dirty pillows 20 years ago, and their dirty pillows now!
Mai: You're just jealous because I have bigger ones!
Mom: I was playing darts when someone missed the board. Big time.
Mai: Well, I'm going whether you like it or not.
Mom: No you're not!
Mai: Yes I am!
Mom: No you're not!
Mai: No I'm not!
Mom Yes you are!
Mai: HA! You sucker!
Mom: That's it! You're going to regret you ever took Blossant behind my back!
(She pulls out a machete)
Mai: I play Acid Trap Hole!
Mom: What?
(Then a hole materializes under her mom. She disappears.)
Mom: Ha! You play an acid trap hole, and guess what! No acid!
Mai: Oh yeah?
(She pours acid on her mom)
Mom: AHHH!!!
Mai: Now, be a good little momma and stay there 'til I come back.
(She walks to the prom)
Yugi: Mai! You look nice!
Mai: You look weird with your hair in a ponytail.
Yugi: Hey, baby, it's the 60's! The hair is groovy!
Mai: Get a grip on yourself! (She slaps him)
Yugi: Uh… I'm fine. Sorry!
Mai: I wonder if I'm prom queen this year.
Yugi: I voted for you 5 times!
Mai: How is that possible?
Yugi: Your name was on the ballot five times!
Mai: No it isn't.
Yugi: Really?
Mai: Did you drink too much?
Yugi: Not too much… just 9 shots of Jim Bean.
Mai: Where's Joey? He's supposed to be here!
Yugi: He's over with Tea playing Naked Twister.
Mai: That moron!
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen! It's time to announce the prom king and queen! The king of Domino High's prom is Joey Wheeler!
Joey: I'll finish this game at your house!
(He goes on stage)
Announcer: The queen is none other than Mai Valentine!
Mai: I won! YAY!
(She runs up on stage to be crowned.)
(Under the stage are Bakura and Marik)
Bakura: She's going to be the laughing stock of the whole school!
Marik: Are you sure you want to do this?
Bakura: Hey! You wanted to do this so we're doing it!
Marik: I hate blood. It's so like gross and sticky.
Bakura: Well, get over it. I'm getting ready to pull the rope.
Mai: I'd like to thank all of the little people out there who made this possible.
Yugi: Don't call me short! I'm beautiful!
Mai: Anyways… thanks! This means a lot! Basically, I'm going to make whoopee with my boyfriend!
(The crowd cheers)
Marik: Pull it now!
Bakura: Okay!
(He pulls the rope. A severed head hits Mai in the head.)
Mai: Ouch! That hurt!
Marik: Oops.
Bakura: You idiot! You put the head in the bucket instead of the blood?
Marik: Pull the other string!
(He pulls and that bucket splashes blood on Mai.)
Mai: Ooo, blood! It's… so… energizing! (She does a dance in the puddle)
Play some music, DJ! I got the rhythm!
("Baby Got Back" comes on)
Mai: I LIKE BIG BUTTS!
Yugi: Me too! Me too!
Mai: In your dreams!
(She throws her crown at him and he dies.)
Mai: More blood! More blood!
Marik: You heard the lady! More blood!
Serenity: Mai, you're making a fool of yourself!
Mai: This is my time to shine, witch!
(She smacks Serenity)
(Then the bucket splashed a bunch of
mud on her.)
Joey: MUD FIGHT!
(The two wrestle in the mud)
Barkura: I said blood, not mud!
Marik: Mud's cheaper!
Bakura: You are worthless. (He shoots Marik)
Marik: I play Michizure!
Bakura: Are you senseless?
(Bakura gets shot with his own gun)
Bakura: You smart bastard!
Marik: Make up your mind! I play Monster Reborn! (Bakura disappears)
Mai: Wait! What are we doing? We should be at home partying!
(The drunken crowd cheers!)
Mai: But first… I'm torching the place!
(Mai pulls out a lighter)
Joey (drunk): Is there a rock concert going on?
Serenity (drunk): I guess! Look! Mai's on stage! Hi Mai!
(Then the place catches on fire)
The crowd: The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!
Mai: Bye! (She walks out the door)
(Mai goes to her house)
Mom: What the hell happened to you?
Mai: A ketchup truck exploded.
Mom: And the mud?
Mai: I ran and hid in a pig pin.
Mom: What the bottle of gin for?
Mai: Door prize!
Mom: That's it! You're never going to the prom again!
Mai: There's only one prom, you idiot!
Mom: Don't call me that! You are grounded missy!
Mai: I play Call of the Haunted!
(A zombie comes up from the ground)
Mom: Hey, big boy! I'm single.
Zombie: Are you a slut?
Mom: You got that right, buddy boy!
Zombie: Do you know who I am?
Mai: It's George Washington!
Mom: Now I'll really go down in history!
George: Sorry, but I don't hither that kind of woman. But I know someone who does!
Mom: Who?
George: Nixon! I'll take you to him!
(They leave)
(Mai goes outside)
Mai: PARTY OVER HERE! PARTY OVER HERE!