Chapter Two
Disclaimer: They aren't mine. Though I'd like to borrow Yue for a weekend sometime. ^_^
Alone, a sleeping teenage girl scuffed blindly down the center of Tomoeda's empty streets. Her chin was raised, mouth sweet and smiling, hands folded like a silent prayer. Only the amber fringe of her lashes, splayed over her sakura cheeks, gave her away as a sleeper. The pleated skirt of her school uniform swayed against her bare, chilled thighs. She was dreaming.
"Come here," sang the stars inside her crystalline unconscious. Of course she would. She loved the light.
Her footstep was broken over a tiny gravel rock, which snagged the bottom of her shoe and sent her sprawling. At this, her eyes flew open, green glancing desperate around the darkened world.
"No—" She shook her head, rose-flush fading as her face became a cold, bloodless white. Here again. Here again. She'd hoped it was all a dream—here again.
Shivering hands clutched shaking shoulders as she picked herself up. The streets were quiet—no one noticed the silent dying child trapped within her own routine. Her lips quivered as she mouthed the word "Help" without enough conviction to push it past her throat. This was the seventh night. Perhaps the last.
The little ribbons in her hair flung themselves against her face when she whirled around, attempting to walk back home. They curled, blue and black and silver, twisted fingers that made her stumble.
Dark spindle branches were devoured inside the airy pink clouds of a thousand sakura blossoms, swaying over her like a blanket being spread across the entire moonlit sky. She loved those trees, didn't she? Didn't she love them?
…even in winter…bloom…
This wasn't right; this wasn't right; she wasn't here again. It was too much. She couldn't take another night of—of this—
But her hands traced the ground, the little silver lines of that five-pointed star, her own magic circle springing up beneath it in a sickly gold glow.
"It will—" she started to say as she raised her arms above her head, to cast the spell again. No; she couldn't say those words, just as she couldn't stop herself; the motions were like a dance beaten into her limbs by an abusive puppetmaster. The pink petals clouded her peripheral vision.
Broken rules. She couldn't lie again. "It will be—"
The lights, silver and gold, snaked up around her like slow, soft electrocution. The crooked raise of her hand made her look up; her fingers waved, of their own accord, through the thick, warm night, trailing silver lines. Her voice sounded distant, dull. For all that flickered before her, she could not take a single step back.
So many lies from a little girl. Lies to Tomoyo-chan and Meilin and her Shaoran. She always did what she had to do. Self-sacrifice. Couldn't have them knowing.
"Death…"
For it was true—she would die tonight.
Afraid? No, she shouldn't have been. She wouldn't be. No.
Sakura clenched her hands, and a glow returned to the gold—she thought of Kero-chan's true form; how strong he'd be; how free, without her, free to take whatever course he wanted. Silver sparked almost white at her wrists. Yue, she felt, might not miss her at all.
Another lie. She smiled, dismissing it. Of course he'd miss her; Yukito would, and they were the same, in a way.
Shaoran…how would she ever explain this to Shaoran, though?
A message, perhaps—something of her left behind. Something besides the swaying branches and the whispering rain. Something of words; something of magic; something of Sakura, who would give her life to the sakura tonight.
Licking her lips, she tasted power. Her soul, webbed out in silver and gold, traced along her skin, soon to be broken. Her own mistake, Eriol had told her, sorrow in his eyes.
The seventh night.
The last.
Time to correct errors made.
Sakura took a breath and gathered herself, magic and dreams and laughter and tears, into a bright little ball of resolution. If they found her crying, they'd be upset. This close to that final moment, she could hear her own heart pounding like a distant footstep, smell the sweet, soft scent of the trees soon to devour her, see this street, this familiar street, stretched out dark and ominous and strangely calm…
Then she saw the shadow racing towards her.
"Sakura!"
And she knew she had to go.
With a quick gasp, she threw herself into the channels that had taken her seven nights to build. It hurt more than she'd thought—heat needled her skin, drove down her throat, through her chest—but by the time the blurred outline had resolved itself into Shaoran, her Shaoran, she was already crumbling to the ground on useless white limbs.
He caught her, she thought, though she was numb with warmth and dizzy with the effort of keeping her eyes open. She could feel the last bits of her slipping away, like slides through a projector screen. Morning, skating after Touya—Yukito tossing her a candy—her father's hands on hers, guiding icing over new-made cake—Meilin's dark eyes and Yamazaki's stories—Kero-chan—Yue—Tomoyo—
His face was the last to fly from her mind, gentle as a butterfly's wing.
As she watched him hold her, she wanted to say it. And now it was true—she'd done her part, and now…
"…Shaoran-kun…" Murmuring lips barely moved, but he heard her. He had to. "It will…everything…it will be okay for sure…"
Then there was only her aura dropping through his fingers, an effervescent chill that might have been the wind. Clow's power took her in hand, guided what remained of Kinomoto Sakura into black branches and pink petals and warm, quiet rest.
"You've done well, Sakura-san," whispered Hiiragizawa Eriol, in a faraway place, as he let his surrogate daughter die.
Author's Notes: Yes, I'm a slow writer, and liable to always be. I apologize profusely for the long wait, and I promise I have every intention of finishing this story. Soon? Perhaps not. But eventually. It's only four chapters, after all. Thank you to lilsue, DaShyGurl, Zoe-E, KristiexxNguyen, Bballstar42, Stephie-chan, L.P.B., Cutie4u, Candyland, doe.aop, Avelyn Lauren, and lilvietdevilgrl for reviewing and giving me encouragement; you guys are great. Though you're all too nice. ^_^;; I hope this chapter wasn't too disappointing for anyone, but keep in mind, I'm not trying to tell what happened after Sakura's suicide—this is, indeed, written backwards, and it is going to stay that way.
Also, for those who don't know, "It will be okay for sure" is the translation I use for Sakura's "invincible spell."
As always, constructive criticism is welcome, and I hope to update soon!