DISCLAIMER: Because this prologue thingy doesn't mention DBZ at all, I don't think I need to do the disclaimer. However if mean looking guys in suits come knocking (then kicking) at my door, I guess I'll do it just in case. I don't own DB/Z/GT… although I really want to but that's another story! Onwards, fair reader…….
VOICES (In One's Head) By `InSaNe`/Schizophrenic Eggplant.
PrologueToday marks an occasion in the history of my life which is of great significance. A new me has been born, a phoenix has risen out of the ashes of the flames of a love that once burned brightly until it's supply of energy ran out and died, leaving me a weak fragile husk, wrought of all emotion. My ideals had been stolen and moulded to fit someone else until I could no longer recognise them as mine any more; I was exhausted, used, and in no fit mental state to do anything but sleep, and dream. What sparked this new lease of life was the day I saw IT.
The messages were blurred at first, because of my dulled thoughts at the time, it had made no sense. I didn't understand. But I had to know more, I was hungry and impatient to soak up this information, so I paid attention, and the messages got stronger. Something inside me began to stir, a new strength, at that time a small spark in amongst a defeated psyche, a tinge of rebellion inside a place that had been forced to conform outside it's own will, and over time it grew and expanded into something that could not be ignored. So I flew the coop I had been imprisoned in for the last four years and shifted back somewhere I could re-discover myself again, without too many outside influences trying to change me. I would sleep and wake up to be greeted by this two-dimensional vivid world before me, and sneak a look into the everyday lives of its inhabitants. Slowly I began developing my own branch of interests in this world - of a particular race, and a certain individual. And now I cannot, nor wish to, lead a 'normal' life, for I am anything but normal. Especially now.
From this point on, I impart to you, the reader, my adventures in the universe inside my head, which, in the next paragraph or six, describes how I discover it. On this – today, when nothing would ever be the same.
Darkness. I'm in my room, the curtains drawn to block out the glare of the streetlights. Outside, a full moon keeps it's vigil through a semi cloudy sky above the surface of this mudball I have come to despise. Two hours before, I had looked upon it's silver-white crater pocked surface, while red-hot anger and determination built inside me, bursting to erupt, although I maintained control it won't be long until something snaps, I must act fast. Tonight is the time. Time to change, to break free of the mundane routine of the real world. My parents have left the house for the weekend, so I will not be disturbed by their inane nattering and interruptions. I have been preparing the whole day, preparing for what is to come. My overactive imagination has become discontent from the lack of stimulus other than visual and aural, a universe needs more, I must experience touch, smell, taste, full immersion... I need to push things further, to form my own reality, free of the burdens and rules and restrictions, physical and mental, that come with the package ignorantly branded "REAL LIFE".
Since I arose out of bed, I have spent my day expanding my mind into it's more further uncharted reaches, the trance music playlist set to loop on my computer softening the harder outer surface, making it more malleable, so I can push on through. The music is now switched off, and a heady aroma of incense permeates my small room. I lean back on the soft cushions, assuming a comfortable position, for I plan to stay this way for a long time. I close my eyes, focus on my breathing, and begin to visualise.
I concentrate on creating the form which has been in my head for the past few months, nurtured by the information my brain has voraciously consumed all this while. This information contributes to work as a template, outlining her form, her mannerisms, her strengths, her weak... - not-so-strengths. She rotates around in front of me, a flawless warrior, but imperfections will soon shine through with time. I am in awe of her as I hold out an astral hand to place her semi-transparent form upon it. She is a worthy specimen indeed. Bracing myself for what is to follow, I allow myself to think back on those explosive feelings I had when I had looked at the full moon. The homicidal urges, the inexplicable blinding fierce rage, mercilessness, all-consuming anger, an ego too big for this galaxy to handle; she will share my inner fire, along with a pride I could never feel outside of myself.. one which if insulted, the insultee would not be so offensive in the future, if at all. I scrape it all together, shielding myself with meditative calm, lest the raw power breaks through and distracts me from my task. With my remaining hand I manipulate the power into a ball, compressing it gently, handling it like some volatile substance. Parts of it are as thick as treacle, stubborn.. other parts are sharp to the touch.. I mould it carefully. To hasten would result in a mind wracked with pain and entrapment, and barely enough control to hold me back from what all this energy stands for. Once content that it can hover in an area the size of my palm, I wave my hand around it three times over the top, three underneath, three on both left and right sides, then randomly around the circumference, mentally chanting the words:
Sleep, great essence - sleep, in this blanket of neutrality...
Slumber 'til the time is right, when you meet your new reality..
As I chant, a blanket acting like a wax on a cheese envelops the energy, absorbing the power of the compressed ball in a black neutral crust. Once it is completely covered, layer upon layer, I dissipate the shield, and once again, all is calm. With the balance of body and character complete in left and right palms respectively, I now embark on the ultimate hunt. For a soul, a spirit, but not just any will suffice. I pursue the ethereal substance of One who is greater than any god, for the fact it does not have to be believed in or prayed to or have sacrifices made in Its name (It doesn't even HAVE a name (yet)) to exist. It has lived forever and never. Lives everywhere and nowhere, and from what I notice, It is choosing nowhere as its preferred place for the time being. One who is not prejudiced against any race or any species, whatever It destroys it destroys randomly, by instinct. It is a completely neutral entity, neither good or evil, right or wrong, black or white. It knows no restrictions, it does not set limits for itself. It is above time, above space, above logic. It is a dreamer, and in its seemingly eternal slumber, any galaxy or sector of the universe which is destroyed or created, stems from those dreams. All codes and sequences of life are stored within this wondrous being, all updates of evolutions, new species and mutations are kept in a databank within ItSelf. It does not exist in the universe related to this plane, but inside the universe in my head, or to be more specific, the infinite darkness behind my eyelids, where my dreams and visions come to life. In an intense state of concentrative relaxation, I wander deeper into the unfathomable reaches of my mind.. holding the keys which will unlock the rusty doors and fling them wide; where I will encounter the One who I will infuse with those keys, my creations.. However long it takes, I will find who I'm looking for.. I must not stop... I must not lose myself in all this blackness, for the doors are still shut and there are no stars. I keep my eyes peeled for any change in the blackscape, any small alteration or warp or shimmer could mean a discovery for me. I call out to It.
I beseech thee, it is I, the old one!! I have returned, old no longer. Refreshed, energised, invigorated, I seek you; a useful soldier am I now!
I broadcast my message throughout, hoping the mindwaves reach far enough to alert the One I am searching for. I sense a change in the atmosphere, like one is listening, but not quite convinced and needs more information. I am a little saddened as because I have been out of touch with myself for so long, I do not receive a vibe of recognition, which would be, I'm guessing, like when an old friend who you knew a long time ago still remembers who you are – a feeling of significance that you were still in that persons thoughts after all this time. One good thing though, is I have got Its attention, but it is a very weak feeling, just a hint, no telepathic messages, or images. Regardless, I continue my announcement.
I bring knowledge, One, and maybe an adventure. Hasn't it been a while? I wish you would remember me, but aren't you curious as to who I am? You may recognise me, you may not. My visit to you will be no waste, from this you can be assured. Prepare thyself if you will, for such escapades are likened to none other experienced in your endless loop of life, and those to come from others such as I. Hear me!!!! Acknowledge me!!! Stop playing games, I know you're there!!! Show me a sign you lazy piece of shit!
A huge bright exclamation-mark shape looms out at me from nowhere and almost seems to knock me over, like a bus that rushes out from the corner of a TV screen while someone who has carefully looked both ways twice steps out off the curb, and claims their life in a split second without braking. But this exclamation-bus did stop, suddenly, in my face. The scene also reminds me of surreal flashback of children's television programs from two decades ago. The shape looks solid, white in contrast to the black (still starless) background, but looked at it in a different way, it was a gap in the darkness, a space of vast white that I could walk through. I could hear a stirring, a noise amongst the silence of that shape/void. A breeze froze the stubble on my scalp, invaded my ears and formed into whispers.
'Enter, If you dare.' It challenged. I dare, entering into a white infinite expanse. The stars are black.