Ashley stepped off the plane and walked very slowly down the stairs onto the runway. She gingerly touched her foot to the ground, wondering if she was going to be sick. She had been in a plane for almost two days straight, flying from DC to California, then from California to Hawaii, then from Hawaii to New Zealand. She almost wanted to vomit right on the runway, but convinced herself to keep it together until she was in a stationary place.
The sun shone brightly, and bounced off her raven hair. She put one hand up to her eyes to shield her retina from the scorching rays, and turned to her dad. "Hey," she asked, "how far away is the hotel?"
"Probably a half an hour." Ashley's dad speculated.
"Oh," she said weakly. She really needed to lie down. Her dad, sensing this, put his arm around her shoulder.
"If you need some place to rest, there's a bench over there," he said softly, pointing to a bench on the far right hand side of the runway. Ashley trudged over to it, and plopped her head down on the warm wood. It seemed like she waited there for hours, with the waves of nausea that washed over her causing her hands to turn white from gripping on the bench so hard. She felt so sick that she might float away.
"Honey," Ashley's mom started, "are you alright?"
"Fine," Ashley lied.
"Alright, well. we're leaving now, the cab's here. you might want to get up."
"Good," Ashley said. She heaved her backpack higher on her shoulder, and walked around the side of the terminal, still puzzled as to why they had gotten off on the runway in the fist place. She sprinted a little to catch up with her dad. "Hey dad," Ashley started.
"Yeah?" He said.
"Umm.. why did we get off on the runway anyways?" There was a long silence. Then,
"They think that there might be some sort of terrorist threat on our airplane, so they didn't want it docking into the airport." He said, tenderly. Ashley sighed.
"Again? Does everyone think that all American flights have terrorists?" Ashley complained.
"I guess so, honey." Ashley's dad rumpled her hair. Ashley searched for something clever to say, or something random, but decided instead to just to be quiet instead. She got the feeling they were all exhausted and dehydrated.
They walked over to the yellow cab and Ashley put her things in the trunk of the car. She opened the door, and slid into the sticky back seat. She heard her dad say, "Wellington Hilton, please," but was too tired to actually care. I'm in New Zealand, she thought happily. I am finally going to see Craig Parker.
And with that, she fell into a bemused sleep.

************************************************************************

"ARWEN!!!!" Kate screamed. " I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!" Kate bolted down her stairs into the basement, pivoting at the bottom to chase after her young cat.
"What's wrong, Kate?" Eric, Kate's father, said.
"ARWEN-RIPPED UP-MY-AUTOGRAPH-FROM MIKE- THAT PAIGE GOT ME- OFF E- BAY!" Kate angrily said, out of breath.
"Well then," Eric started. "We shall have to get you another one." Kate whipped around to face her father.
"What?" She said.
"I SAID, WE SHALL HAVE TO GET YOU ANOTHER ONE, THEN," Eric screamed.
"Dad, I heard you the first time," said Kate, massaging her ears, "but I am just confused." Eric turned around to face Kate, and in his hands were two gleaming tickets.
"I am going to New York for a business trip, and I thought that you and a friend might like to go see Linkin Park yourselves, as a birthday gift." Kate blinked. "Is that okay? I mean, I also got some backstage passes, but.." he tried to say, but was cut off by-
"OF COURSE I WANT TO GO!" Kate exclaimed. She ran over to her father, ripped the tickets out of his hand, pulled him into a one-arm hug, and sprinted up the stairs, calling, "THANKS!!!" at the top of her lungs.
"Who are you going to invite then?" Eric yelled after her. But it was already too late. He could hear Kate dialing numbers on the telephone in the kitchen.

************************************************************************

The phone rang once. Then twice. Paige finally picked it up on the last ring, having been unaware of the previous two, as she was listening to Blink-182 at top volume.
"Hello?" Paige said.
"Igotticketstoseelinkinparkinnewyorkyoucome?" Kate said on the other line.
"Umm.. me no hablo espagnol." Paige said, about to place the phone on it's receiver.
"No, no, Paige, it's me- KATE!"
"Oh hi," Paige was cut off by-
"We're going to see LINKIN PARK in New York!"
"Umm.. I'm sorry to ruin this little fantasy of yours, but the flaw in your brilliant plan is that neither you or I have tickets, a hotel, or any means of transportation," Paige laughed. Kate angrily sighed.
"Stupid, I got TICKETS for us, my dad is paying for our hotel, we have a plane up to New York at Madison Square Garden, AND I have backstage passes for both of us!" Kate yelled.
"Omigod, you're kidding me!" Paige said.
"Nope," Kate said smugly.
"Who got these for you? AND WHY?!?!"
"My dad, for my birthday."
"Umm.. we will have supervision, right? I mean, we're not gonna be in New York without any adults, right?" Paige timidly said.
"Yes, Paige, my dad has given me all rights to be alone in New York," Kate said sarcastically. "WAKE UP! My dad will be there in the room next to ours, probably."
"When is this?" Paige said, her enthusiasm rising.
"In two weeks." A silence was heard on the other end. "What's the matter?" Kate asked.
"I have to be a CIT at BAPA starting the week after next, that's why I'm going to LA this week," Paige said, spirits dashed.
"Well, tell them that you can't be there the first week!"
"I can't, I'll be fired," Paige said regretfully, "I'm sorry." Kate sighed.
"Fuck."
"I know.this sucks." There was a long silence. "I'm really sorry, Kate." Kate sighed.
"It's okay, I guess.. but then, I won't see you until you get back from LA if you can't come!" Kate exclaimed.
"FUCK!" Paige said, her turn to curse.
"I know!"
"Omigod, well, I'll have to buy you a calling card, just like I bought Ashley, so that we can call each other from across the country."
"That's okay, I'll have my laptop, and we can IM each other. will you have your laptop in LA?" Kate asked.
"Yes, so we can IM each other!" Paige said happily.
"Good. Speaking of Ashley, have you talked to her yet?"
"No. I think she only just landed in Wellington."
"That was really decent of you, giving her that international calling card so she could call both of us." Kate said nicely.
"Well, I have to know the gossip about her and Craig, all the time." Paige said, a smile in her voice.
"Yes, indeed," Kate agreed. "Do you really think he hit on her at the convention for Lord of the Rings?"
"YES!" Paige affirmed. "I've been saying that for months!"
"Well, we'll have to see what he does when she interviews him in a couple days time." Kate said, business-like.
"You know he's going to hit on her, anyways!" Kate laughed.
"Absolutely." A call was heard on Paige's side.
"I have to go Kate, I'm really, really, REALLY sorry I can't come." Paige said softly.
"It's all good." Kate said, meaning it. "I'll invite Anna." A snort was heard on the other end. "What was that?"
"I am just really jealous now." Paige said enviously. Kate sighed.
"You can't come, so I'll invite the only other person I know will want to."
"Alright. go online later, okay?" Paige said.
"Okay!" Kate confirmed.
"Bye!"
"Bye."
Paige put the receiver down. She sighed majorly. She trudged down the stairs into her living room.
"What's up, mom?" Paige asked.
"You better start packing! The flight leaves in a couple of hours." Cynthia, Paige's mother, said happily.
"Okely dokely," said Paige, still a little sad. Cynthia looked at her quizzically.
"What's the matter? Here we are, going to LA, the place where ALL celebrities live, and you are unhappy?" Cynthia said, jokingly.
"It's just.. Kate invited me to go to NYC with her to see Linkin Park week after next, but I have to be a CIT at Bapa." Paige said, sighing.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Cynthia said sympathetically, "at least you'll have fun this week!"
"Yeah," said Paige, spirits rising. "Yeah."
"Hey, you might even see ELIJAH WOOD!" Cynthia smiled at Paige. Paige smiled, and turned to walk back up the stairs. With any luck, Paige thought, I might even get him to fall in love with me.

************************************************************************

Ashley was bored. There was no doubt about it. She was incredibly jet lagged, and there was nothing to do. She would have to wait a few days until she had enough strength to go walking around, and then another day until she would see Craig. Ashley pouted. Even the thought of Craig Parker had no comfort to her.
She had indeed seen him at a convention in Toronto the past December, and Paige had spent the past seven months trying to convince her that he had hit on her. Ashley smiled. Silly Paige, she thought. Now, why would Craig hit on me? Ashley looked around at her room.
The best thing you could say about the hotel was that it was close to all important things in Wellington. Arguably, it was the only positive thing you could say about the hotel. The rooms were small and incredibly cramped. The floors were damp from something Ashley didn't especially want to know about. The walls were plastered with duck-hunting paintings, which puzzled Ashley, as she didn't think that there were even ducks in New Zealand. The beds were tiny, and they only had three television channels.
Luckily, one of those channels would play old Mercy Peak (the soap opera in which Craig Parker used to star) episodes. Unfortunately, they would play later in the afternoon. Ashley flicked her wrist, and looked at her watch.
It was 9:12 am.
Ashley sighed, and walked over to the telephone in the room. She pulled her green backpack towards her, and took out the calling card Paige had given to her. She dialed the international number, and got a ring.
"Hello?" Paige said.
"Ello!" Ashley chimed.
"AHOY MATEY!" Paige exclaimed. "How is NEW ZEALAND!!!"
"Boring." Ashley said.
"Oh wow. I can't imagine how BORED you must be, in the country where Lord of the Rings was filmed, arguably the most beautiful country in the whole entire world," Paige said, sarcastically.
"Well, I haven't been able to leave my room yet, I've been so let lagged and tired," Ashley said, deflated.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Were your flights not okay?"
"No. They were all bumpy, and two were holding 'suspected terrorists.'" Paige tutted in sympathy.
"That really sucks. Really."
"I know."
"Hey, when do you see Craig?" Paige said, changing the subject.
"Two days, three hours, and.." Ashley looked at her watch, " fifty- seven minutes."
"That's sooo cool!" Paige exclaimed. "Hey, do you have my number in LA, because I'm leaving today."
"No, I don't- what is it?"
"I'll be on my cell phone, so it's 301-928-4680."
"Alright, got it!" said Ashley.
"Hey, do you want me to do three-way calling with Kate?"
"YES!" Ashley said happily.
"Alright, hold on," said Paige. There was a click of silence, and then Ashley heard the phone ringing and Kate saying,
"Hello?"
"ELLO!" Paige and Ashley said in unison.
"HEY!" Kate yelled. "How are you Ashley?"
"I'm good, thank Paige for hooking us up!"
"Thanks, Paige." Kate said half-heartedly.
"What's the matter?" Ashley asked.
"Well.. I invited Paige to come with me to New York to see Linkin Park this morning," Kate started.
"WHAT?!" Ashley yelled.
"Yeah, dad got me tickets, but she can't come." Kate said, angrily. Paige sighed.
"I'm sorry, Kate. You seemed okay with me not going like two hours ago!" Paige said.
"Yeah, well.. Anna can't even come, so I guess I'll have to go by myself to the concert." Kate said sadly.
"NO! You can go with your dad!" Paige said, laughing.
"Hardy har." Kate said, unhappily.
"Hey! I'm not even in America, I'm bored out of my mind in New Zealand." Ashley reminded them.
"How can you be bored?!?!" Kate asked.
"I just am totally jet lagged, and I am in the crappiest room- I probably won't even come out of it until I go to see Craig in two days."
"Well consider yourself lucky that you have someone to be with," Kate sneered, "I don't have anyone!"
"KATE! I already told you I am sorry!" Paige yelled.
"Yeah, well." Kate started. " I think I hear my dad calling. Ashley, call me later." And with that, Kate hung up.
"Woah," Ashley said.
"She'll get over it. She'll IM me when I get to LA," Paige said, not totally assured.
"It's all good, girl." Ashley said, laughing.
"Yeah," said Paige. "I better go, too. I have lots to pack! I must look fab-u-lous for Elijah!" Ashley laughed.
"Yes, you must. But please don't leave me, I am totally bored. I mean bored. Bored. Bored. Bored."
"I have to go."
"Pleasseee!" Ashley pleaded. "Pleasee, my precioussss." Paige laughed.
"I luvs you, call me later, okay?"
"Alright, on your cell phone."
"Right."
"Bye, then, luvs you too."
"Bye." There was a click, and Paige hung up the phone.
Ashley put the calling card back in her bag, satisfied that she had talked to both Kate and Paige at the same time. She flopped back onto her bed, and pulled her backpack onto her stomach. She grabbed her copy of Return of the King, and started reading.
It could at least remind her of Craig.

************************************************************************

Kate stared moodily at her wall. It wasn't like her to snap. It especially wasn't like her to snap at Paige. Still, the thought of having to attend a Linkin Park concert with her dad wasn't intensely satisfying.
She replayed all the embarrassing and horrible things he could do backstage in her head for the thousandth time. She had no idea what to do.
A knock came on her door. Kate ambled to it, and opened it.
"Hey." Eric said.
"Hey." Kate said, weakly.
"So. I guess your going to have to attend the concert with your old man, eh?" He said, cheerily.
"Mhm." Kate said, fighting back tears.
"We're going to have a rootin-tootin good time!" Eric said, closing Kate's door. She could hear him skipping down the corridor.
Yup, she thought. I am dead meat.

************************************************************************

Frodo Lives 2008: Hey Kate!

AnarchyInBagels: Hey.

Frodo Lives 2008: How are you?!

AnarchyInBagels: Fine, for knowing that my father is going to embarrass me beyond belief at the concert : '(

Frodo Lives 2008: I am really sorry. Still no luck finding someone to go with u?

AnarchyInBagels: No.

Frodo Lives 2008: I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to piss you off.

AnarchyInBagels: It's all good, I'm sorry for yelling at u.

Frodo Lives 2008: It's okay, I totally understand.

AnarchyInBagels: HOW IS LA!!!!

Frodo Lives 2008: Awesome, man. I get to walk around all day looking at pretty people, and I wear next to no clothing, it's hot, and I GET TO SHOP TIL I DROP!

AnarchyInBagels: Ahh..

AnarchyInBagels: See Elijah yet? Frodo Lives 2008: No. :'(

Frodo Lives 2008: But I did see a really cute guy by the pool yesterday, who offered to take me to some "cool" places in LA. His name is Dominic.

AnarchyInBagels: Uhh, what is he doing at a hotel pool if he lives in LA?

Frodo Lives 2008: I dunno.

AnarchyInBagels: Watch out for him, then.

Frodo Lives 2008: You're being silly.

AnarchyInBagels: What if he's waiting there for like girls to pray on?

Frodo Lives 2008: He's not.

AnarchyInBagels: THEN WHAT IS HE DOING AT A HOTEL SWIMMING POOL.

Frodo Lives 2008: *sigh* *rolls eyes*

AnarchyInBagels: Well, please just be careful, okay?

Frodo Lives 2008: Yes, I will *officer*.

AnarchyInBagels: I'm just looking out for you.

Frodo Lives 2008: Okay, I realize that. But you have NOTHING to worry about.

AnarchyInBagels: Of course I do, Paige, you and I both know you are a "sex magnet"

Frodo Lives 2008: LMAO

AnarchyInBagels: Ha ha. Don't spend time with this creep.

Frodo Lives 2008: *sighs* I have to go. he's here to take me shopping

AnarchyInBagels: ARGH! This is wrong, Paige. What if he's a serial rapist?

Frodo Lives 2008: LOL

Frodo Lives 2008: He's not! I assure you!

Frodo Lives 2008: Really!

AnarchyInBagels: I'm going to go, now.

Frodo Lives 2008: No.. wait, Kate!

AnarchyInBagels: Bb.

AnarchyInBagels signed off at 1:03:30 PM.

************************************************************************

Ashley's stomach turned over. Right there.
It had been two days of steady resting, and now three hours spent in a car driving to Auckland. But here she was. Looking out the car window, she saw him standing there, and he saw her looking. Craig waved stupidly, then counteracted it with a sheepish grin.
Ashley turned beat red.
"Hun, are you sure you don't need our help?" Ashley's mom asked.
"No- you two go have a romantic dinner and I will be here interviewing Craig." Ashley hastily replied.
"Alright darling. What time do you want us to pick you up?" she asked.
"Nine." Ashley said automatically, not taking her eyes off of Craig. The car rolled to a stop inches away from Craig. Her father handed her the camera from the front seat, and said,
"Right. I put a cell phone in there in case you need us. We'll pick you up here at nine, okay?"
"That's fine." Ashley said happily. "Goodbye." She opened the car door, stepped onto the curb, and her parents drove away, waving.
"Hello." Craig said in his Kiwi twang. Ashley's heart melted.
"Hergo." She said in response.
"Pardon? I didn't quite understand that," Craig said, smiling.
Omigod, think you stupid great oaf!, Ashley thought.
"Well, anyways, I am glad to see you are finally here!" Craig said, putting his arm around Ashley, and steering her into the apartment building entrance doors.
"Oh, well, I am glad that you let me interview you! I can't believe you actually remembered me from the convention." Ashley said, finally remembering what to say.
"Oh no problem about the interview," Craig grinned, "and I could never forget you." Ashley blushed.
"Right, well, here we are.. at the.. elevator.." she said nervously. Craig laughed. They rode it up to the ninth floor, where Ashley and Craig got off and walked to the apartment labeled "2b".
"This is my apartment," said Craig, gesturing his arm in a wide sweep.
It was gorgeous. The furniture was top of the line, the open kitchen had barstools and expensive appliances, everything seemed to flow together, and to top it all off, it had a balcony view of the city. Ashley could hardly breathe. There were vintage French posters, and one Lord of the Rings poster for the Two Towers, signed by everyone in the cast. Not knowing what to do, Ashley walked over to this poster, and gazed intently at it.
"Wow. this is very cool," she said, sheepishly. "My friends would all drool over this, especially my friend Paige."
"Is this Paige as gorgeous as you?" Craig asked, voice deep.
"Urgh," was all Ashley allowed out of her throat. She rummaged in her bag. "She wanted me to give this to you- I think it's some sort of poem, it has her photo on the back.." She trailed off, handing the piece of paper to Craig.
"Oh, thank her for me," he said, placing it neatly on the bookcase next to the window. "Where do you want this to happen?"
"What?" Ashley said, surprised.
"The interview? Where would you like me to sit?" Craig asked politely.
"Uhh.. by the Lord of the Rings Poster," she said, snapping back to reality. "We could put a chair underneath it, and you could sit there.."
"Good idea," he said. "Then everyone will know who I am." Ashley smiled. She turned on her camera, started recording, and asked him some simple questions about his experience in Lord of the Rings, on Mercy Peak, and on just being a star. She asked him about New Zealand, his childhood in Fiji, and how the press generally treated him.
"Are you single?" she asked, towards the end of the interview.
"Yes," he replied. "Painfully, painfully single." He let out a soft laugh. Ashley nervously forced out a shrill laugh, quite unlike her own.
"What is, in your opinion, the biggest perk of being a star?" She asked.
"Getting to meet fabulous gorgeous fans, like yourself." He said, staring not into the camera lens, but into her blue eyes. Ashley lowered the camera. Then she turned it off. She placed the camera on the nearest glass table, and silently gathered courage to ask her next question.
"Are you hitting on me?" she said, regretting saying it only the instant after she did. Craig smiled, and laughed.
"Blatantly."
"I hate to burst your bubble, but I am only," she took a breath. "Fifteen years old." Craig blinked.
"Oh." He shrugged. "I thought you were a little older, but nonetheless, I don't really care how old you are. Have you ever heard the expression, age ain't nothing but a number?"
Ashley slinked down in her seat.
"Is something wrong?" Craig asked. "I got the impression you were pretty into me, too."
"I AM!" Ashley exclaimed, perhaps a little bit too loudly. "But. you do realize anything we do is considered very illegal?"
"Umm. yes, I am quite aware," Craig said, still staring into Ashley's eyes. Under his gaze, Ashley felt her perseverance slipping. "Do you want me to move this into the bedroom, or do you want to just run away?" he asked.
"Bedroom." Ashley said, succinctly. Craig took her hand, and pulled her down a canary yellow hallway, the sun playing off his eyes. He turned left, into a brightly lit bedroom. There was very little furniture, some paintings on the wall, but a bed, filled the majority of the room with taffeta see-through screens hanging off the rail that went around the top of the bed, blowing in the wind from the open window. Craig sat down on the edge, and patted the space next to him to indicate that Ashley should sit there. She seemed to float over to the edge, and silently sat down.
He seemed to move towards her in slow motion. She waited for all of their body to connect, in some sort of embrace, and she shut her eyes. All she felt were his lips against hers, and she struggled to keep her eyes closed. Somehow, she managed to, and continued to kiss Craig. He opened his mouth, and she mimicked him, slowly and carefully. She moved with him, and he put his hand to her hair. He took a breath, and came back in for another kiss, still stroking her hair.
Ashley expected to have a million thoughts running through her head, but she didn't. She didn't have any thoughts, except to move exactly like Craig. She found his mouth to taste like strawberries, and had no trouble knowing exactly what to do with her tongue. It seemed to flow like nothing was happening at all. All she needed to focus on was moving with him.
Craig pulled her down on the bed, and drew her body closer to his. They were lying lengthwise, still kissing. He moved his hand up her back, and placed it under her shirt. She shivered at how cold his hand was, and wanted to move, but didn't. She moved in closer to him. He started kissing her neck, her shoulders. His hand was grappling at her bra clasp, when finally Ashley pulled away.
"I can't do this." She said.
"What?" Craig said, pulling himself into a sitting position.
"I can't do this," Ashley repeated.
"I thought you said you wanted to!" Craig cried.
"I don't. I was wrong. I liked the idea of doing you, but I can't face it now."
Craig stared at her.
"I'm sorry." Ashley withdrew her gaze from his.
"Leave," said Craig.
"What?" Ashley snapped her head up, facing him.
"Leave!" He screamed. Ashley got up, and jumped off the bed. She ran through the hallway, and picked up her camera bag on the way out. She opened the door, and turned around for one last glance. "I'm sorry," she said.
"Wait! Don't leave!" Craig yelled. "I shouldn't have said that, look- we can work this out. we can just make-out, not have sex!" Ashley stared at him.
"You are sick. you know that right?" Ashley said, and with that, she slammed the door in his face.

************************************************************************

"Isn't this place beautiful?" Dominic asked Paige, happily.
"YES!" she said, placing her sunglasses on the top of her head.
"This is called Rodeo Drive, and everyone shops here. It's like, the most expensive place in America, apparently."
"Yeah, I heard." Paige said, looking very carefully at the window displays. "Oh, I really like that dress!" she exclaimed.
"We can go in there, if you like," Dominic suggested.
"Look, I really can't afford anything on this street." Paige said, making a serious face.
"Well, just try it on, to see how it looks?" Dominic said, smiling.
"Absolutely not," Paige said. "Then I'll want to buy it." Dominic laughed, and leaned into Paige's neck, where he whispered,
"I want to see you in it." Paige turned around, and smiled.
"Then it's a go." The two of them walked into the store, arms linked. Paige walked in a mock haughty fashion to the nearest sales lady, and said, "Do you have the blue dress in the window in a size four?"
"I believe so," said the saleslady, in a condescending way. "But do you have the means to afford it?" Paige laughed.
"Honey, I could buy your whole fucking store. Just get me the dress, my friend over there would like to see me in it." It took the saleslady a moment to register what she had said, and when she had, she mumbled a feeble response, and hurried off to the back of the store to find it.
"That was classic," Dominic said coming up behind Paige.
"I'm an actress," she said, smiling.
"No, you're a natural LA-er." Dominic said. Paige laughed.
"Is LA-er a word?" Paige asked, mockingly.
"I dunno," Dominic said, embarrassed. The saleslady rushed back, with the dress in question nicely placed over her right arm.
"Here, madam, I will show you the dressing room. And, would the gentleman like to try on some of our men's items?" she asked, as if the two teenagers were royalty.
"No, thanks." He said, smiling.
"Right this way," the saleslady said, indicating the dressing room. Paige walked after her, and blew a very small kiss at Dominic.
She stepped into the room, and was taking off her clothes to put on the blue dress, when a knock came at her door.
"Who is it?" Paige asked.
"It's me," Dominic said.
"Well, I'm almost done getting changed, so I'll be right out."
"Let me in," he said.
"No, I'm half-naked and I need to get the dress on," Paige said. She heard a clink of metal, as if Dominic was trying to get into the dressing room by prying it open. Paige hastily put her shirt back on, and was attempting to put on her pants, all the while calling, "Please go away!"
Dominic broke in, Paige still only wearing a shirt and her underwear. He pushed her up against the wall, and was trying to take off her shirt. Paige was slapping at him, but it was no use- he was much taller and wider than she.
"HELP!" She screamed. "HELP!" Was there no one in the store?
"Shut up, bitch!" Dominic hissed at her.
"Please, get off me!" Paige yelled, throwing a punch that failed to collide with Dominic. Suddenly, Paige felt Dominic being pulled off of her, and she slid along the fall, falling with a thud to the ground.
She had fainted.

************************************************************************

Kate heard the phone ringing, and she tore down the stairs. She was hoping it was Ashley, calling to tell her what had happened between her and Craig at the interview. Sure enough, on Kate's caller ID, it indicated that someone was calling from New Zealand.
"Hey Ashley!" Kate exclaimed happily. Kate heard sniffing on the other end. "Ashley, what happened?"
"Craig and I almost had sex," Ashley said, still sniffing. "And I turned him down."
"Fuck," Kate said, slumping down into a seat in her kitchen.
"I should have said yes." Ashley sobbed.
"What are you talking about? Tell me exactly what happened."
"Well, Craig and I were in his apartment, and I was interviewing him, and then I asked if he was hitting on me, and he said yes, and then we moved to his bedroom, and he and started making out, and he tried to take off my bra, and then I said no, and then he told me to leave, and then I said sorry, and was leaving, and he said you should stay we can just make out not have sex, and I called him pathetic, and I ran down the street, and then I called you."
"Wow," Kate said.
"Yeah, I should have said yes."
"NO! You weren't ready, obviously, and it sounds like he said to go, and then overreacted, and then- WAIT, HE WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD! THAT IS PATHETIC!" Kate yelled.
"I know, I know. that's why I said it- I didn't want to have sex, but like I love him, and I should have done it," Ashley started.
"No, Ashley, it would have been wrong on so many levels, and you know it." Kate said, reaffirming Ashley's choice. "I'm proud of you."
"Why should you be? I let him make out with me under the pretense we would have sex, and then just turned him down- LIKE THAT!" Ashley sobbed.
"You did the right thing!" Kate said.
"I dunno. what would Paige say?" Ashley nervously asked.
"Well, I know Paige would support EXACTLY everything you do cause she loves you, and you know what- FUCK PAIGE IF SHE DISAGREES!" Kate yelled.
"Are you still mad at her?" Ashley asked.
"No, not really." Kate said, lying.
"I agree with the she would support me thing, but like- I don't think you should say 'fuck Paige'." Ashley needled.
"I know. I'm sorry. I just. she's hanging out with this guy that she met by the swimming pool in LA who is showing her around and I think it's a stupid idea, so I dunno if she would give you the right advice."
"She would, Kate." Ashley said softly.
"Yeah, so will I." Kate said defensively.
" I know you will, that's why I called you first. You're my best friend, and will always be." Ashley said softly. Kate instantly felt bad.
"I love you, Ashley. You did the right thing." Kate comforted.
"Thanks. I love you, too. And Paige loves you. You know that?" Ashley said.
"Yes," Kate said. "I do." There was a silence. "Stay on the line with me, Ashley- I'm going to talk you through this."
"Thanks Kate," Ashley said. "But I wish Paige was here, too."
"I do, too." Kate said, and she wasn't lying.

************************************************************************

Paige didn't know where she was. Her head hurt, and she was lying in an awkward position in a very small room. Her vision was swimming in and out, and she didn't feel very good. She tried standing up, and was about to fall, when a very sturdy hand caught her and pulled her to his side.
"Hello," said Elijah. Paige stared at him.
"I must be in heaven," She said.
"Please don't use that cliché with me, dear," Elijah joked.
"I don't know where I am." Paige said, simply.
"Well, you and this dude got into a fight- I think he was trying to rape you, I pulled him off, and you fainted," Elijah summed up. Paige blinked.
"Oh, shit," she said, remembering. "That was you?" She then looked down and realized she wasn't wearing pants. "Shit, where are my pants?"
"I think he tore them apart," Elijah said, indicating a small, seemingly dead mass on the floor.
"Wow. I dunno how to thank you.you're like my idol, and you saved my life." Paige said, still not exactly right from the fainting.
"Yeah. well, thanks." Elijah said, blushing.
The annoying saleslady ran towards them, and screamed. "What is wrong with the young gentleman? Where are your pants?" She was in hysterics.
"Ma'am, no disrespect, but I think it's best if we just call the police, eh?" Elijah said, smiling at Paige, who nodded.
The saleslady, recognizing Elijah, nodded, and scurried off to the phone.
"Do you have someone who can come pick you up?" Elijah asked.
"Yes, but. could you just drive me to the hotel I am staying in? My mom's at a convention." Paige said, not totally wanting to miss her chance at spending time with Elijah.
"Umm.. alright," he said, looking at her quizzically. "What are you doing going around LA with a boy if you are here on vacation?" he asked.
"He was my tour guide," Paige said, truthfully.
"Did he live in LA?" Elijah asked.
"I dunno," Paige said, truthfully.
"Right. okay, here come the police." Elijah said, turning towards them.
Paige spent about fifteen minutes telling the police what had happened, and they thanked her and Elijah and gave him permission to drive her to the hotel, having called her mother and asked if it was alright.
They were both sitting in the car, driving to Beverly Hills, when Elijah finally spoke.
"Are you feeling okay?" He asked.
"Just a little scared, didn't do any permanent damage." Paige said, blankly staring out the window.
"Where are you from then?" He asked, trying to change the subject.
"Washington, D.C." Paige replied, still looking out the window.
"Wow! That's a long way away!" He said, smiling, trying to get her attention.
"Yeah, it's a five-hour long flight." Paige said, finally looking at him.
"Oh, wow. that's how long it is to go to New York from here." He said.
"I saw you on the Daily Show," Paige said, "that's in New York, right?" Elijah smiled.
"You really are a fan!" He said.
"Yes, now doubly, thanks to your 'saving my life' thing." Paige said.

"Well, I wouldn't call it that." Elijah said, modestly. They had arrived at the hotel, where her mother was waiting, frantic.
"Paige, how are you?" she said. "Did anything happen?"
"No, he just scared me. I'm perfectly fine, just a little frazzled," Paige said, truthfully.
"Oh thank god," Cynthia said, finally smiling. "Thank you, Mr. Wood!"
"No problem, Ma'am." He said, and turned to look at Paige.
"My daughter is a really big fan of yours, did she tell you that?" Cynthia said, energetically.
"Mom!" Paige exclaimed.
"Yes, she did. I am very flattered." Elijah said. Paige blushed.
"Thanks again, Elijah," Paige said, softly.
"It's not a big deal. Just promise me in the future that you won't hang out with boys like that- they'll only try to take advantage of how pretty you are," Elijah said, and with that, he turned to walk towards his car.
Paige looked at her mom, and shared a glance. She ran after Elijah.
"WAIT!" She yelled. She caught up to him, and looked at her with a smile. "Please, I really think you're amazing- is there any way we can still keep in touch?" Elijah laughed.
"I would like that. What's your email address?" He asked, a smile spreading from his mouth to his eyes.
"FrodoLives2008@aol.com," Paige said, unabashedly. Elijah laughed again.
"I will most certainly email you, then. If you ever come back to LA, please tell me. Maybe then you can have a tour guide, for real."
"Yeah," Paige said, smiling stupidly. Elijah waved, got into his car, and drove away. "Yeah," she said, and turned to walk back into the hotel.

************************************************************************

Frodo Lives 2008: Hey Kate!

AnarchyInBagels: Hey.

Frodo Lives 2008: How are you?

AnarchyInBagels: Fine, look, I am really sorry about what I said about that dude.

Frodo Lives 2008: No need to be. He tried to rape me.

AnarchyInBagels: WHAT?

Frodo Lives 2008: Yeah.. he like, tried to rape me in this store, but he didn't, cause Elijah Wood came in and beat him up, and then Elijah drove me home, and now he has my email address.

AnarchyInBagels: OMG. You're making that up.

Frodo Lives 2008: Nope.

AnarchyInBagels: Are you coming home?

Frodo Lives 2008: Yeah, I'm going to come home a day earlier, so maybe then you and I can hang out.

AnarchyInBagels: Correction: You, I, and Ashley

AnarchyInBagels: ;)

Frodo Lives 2008: What?

Frodo Lives 2008: Ashley's in New Zealand.

AnarchyInBagels: Nope, she left today, because Craig tried to have sex with her and she turned him down, and all this shit happened, and it's crazy- she tried calling you, but you weren't there.

Frodo Lives 2008: I was busy almost getting raped.

AnarchyInBagels: Uhh.. wow, are you okay?

Frodo Lives 2008: Yeah, basically- a little scared, but like- I GOT TO MEET ELIJAH WOOD! AND HE HAS MY EMAIL ADDRESS

AnarchyInBagels: You have to print out any emails he sends you.

Frodo Lives 2008: I will. But back to Ashley, is she okay?

AnarchyInBagels: Yeah. I think so.. she wants to talk to you.

Frodo Lives 2008: I'm going to call her right now. Thanks for telling me Kate.

AnarchyInBagels: You're welcome. This has been the weirdest thing to watch for me- when is a man going to try to rape me?

Frodo Lives 2008: Next week, with Mike.

AnarchyInBagels: Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Frodo Lives 2008: Look, I have to go- I love you Kate, and I can't wait to see you.

AnarchyInBagels: I love you too, please like call me the second you get home- both you and Ashley have to explain what the hell is going on.

Frodo Lives 2008: I will.

AnarchyInBagels: Good. This is soo weird!

Frodo Lives 2008: I g2g.

AnarchyInBagels: Ttyl.

Frodo Lives 2008: bb.

Frodo Lives 2008 signed off at 4:30:44 PM.

************************************************************************

Kate sighed, and looked out the window on her airplane. Man, was what happened to Ashley and Paige WEIRD! They had talked it over the night they had both come back, and they all agreed that everyone had made the right choices. But Ashley had wanted some time to rest, and to rethink her thoughts. Both she and her parents were undergoing some extreme 'talking time'. Paige was freaked, but had met Elijah in the process. It was all so weird.
Kate just shook her head, and was thankful she didn't have anything to do with it. Unfortunately, she was now about to embark on the scariest journey ever- going to see Linkin Park backstage.
She sighed, and rolled over to go to sleep.

************************************************************************

Subject: Hey, it's me: ELIJAH! Date: 8/17/04 7:14:03 PM Eastern Standard Time From: Elijah_Wood_1981@aol.com To: FrodoLives2008@aol.com

Hey! I was just writing to say that I am going to D.C. on Monday, and I was wondering if you and maybe some of your friends would like to get together with me and my friend Bret, cause he's doing a concert here. He's called Figwit, do you know him? Anyways, I'll be flying into Dulles International at 9:00 am, if you want to meet me! Elijah XXX Subject: FWD: Hey, it's me: ELIJAH! Date: 8/17/04 7:15:03 PM Eastern Standard Time From: FrodoLives2008@aol.com To: Hyper_Haldir@yahoo.com

ASHLEY!! OMG! FIGWIT WILL BE HERE PLAYING! YOU HAVE TO COME SEE THIS WITH ME!!!!!

CALL ME ASAP!

Paige Xoxoxoxoxo

************************************************************************

Ashley took one look at her computer and screamed. She was over Craig. Over him right in that very instant.

She smiled for the first time in days. SHE WAS GOING TO SEE FIGWIT.

************************************************************************

Kate nervously made her way backstage to where Linkin Park was standing. She took one look at Mike, and almost fled the scene. Eric kept pushing her forward, until she finally was near enough to talk to him.
"Hi," said Kate.
"Hi," said Mike.
"Hi," said Eric. Kate turned around and showed him a nasty look.
"Can I have your autograph?" Kate asked, only having one thing on her mind.
"Yeah, sure," Mike said, happily. He signed the piece of paper Kate had given him, and he walked away.
Kate blinked. That was it? Sure, the concert was great, and she had a blast, but that's all Mike was going to say to her? She let out a little sob.
Eric looked at Kate, and knew what she was thinking.
"EXCUSE ME!" Eric yelled. He's going to embarrass me now, Kate thought. He's going to make me look like an idiot.
"Excuse me," Eric started. "We traveled all the way from D.C. to see this concert, and it took a whole deal of effort to get these backstage passes, is there any chance that we could take you out to dinner or something, maybe spend some time with my daughter?"
"Well, we have to go, actually- but, here," Mike scribbled on a piece of paper. "This is my email address. Personal email address. Email me anytime, okay?" He smiled at Kate, and waved goodbye.
Kate looked at her dad.
In that moment, she loved him more than any autograph Mike could ever give her. ************************************************************************

Ashley and Paige were hopping up and down with excitement. They knew that Elijah and Bret's flight had just landed.
They looked at each other, not able to speak for they were containing all their happiness, and if they opened their mouths, they were sure to scream.
Finally, Paige spotted them walking down the terminal. Elijah waved at Paige, and Paige waved at Elijah. Ashley looked over, and knew in that moment that the two of them were going to eventually end up together, and was incredibly jealous.
But just as she was about to give up hope, she saw Bret, and her heart did a flip-flop. He waved at Ashley and seemed to grin. Ashley waved back, smile transfixed on her face.
Paige looked over, and knew in that moment that the two of them were going to eventually end up together, and was incredibly jealous.

************************************************************************

Subject: This is Mike. Date: 8/20/04 5:13:03 am Eastern Standard Time To: Kittypaws@starpower.net From: Linkin_park_2002@comcast.net

Hey Kate!

Thanks for the email. It was nice to meet you, too.

Right now I'm in California touring, so my answers to your questions will be short:

Yes, you are cute. I don't have any dogs. I love lord of the rings! It's my favorite movie and book series. DC is cool. I would say it's my second favorite city.

Right, I better go. Hey, keep on rocking, you are a cool chick! Email me back. If you want to see us in concert again, I'll send you some tickets.

Sinara.

Mike.

P.S. If I don't respond right away, it's because my wife and I are getting a divorce, so there's a lot on hand to deal with. Hey, at least I'll be single *and looking, I might add*

************************************************************************

Kate looked at her computer and screamed. She knew she was going to be the one to marry Mike. She was going to make it happen.

And with that, she closed her laptop, and thought happily of her friends Paige and Ashley, carefully planning exactly what their bridesmaid dresses would look like.

************************************************************************

Hey thanks everybody for reading this. remember, this is supposed to be
really out there and incredibly unrealistic. keep that in mind! Thanks
again.