Chapter 7
Confessions
"I have absolutely no idea how I managed to survive three years at the Ministry, getting up at eight in the morning. When I was in school it was up at the crack of dawn. Have we seriously grown so old and so inflexible that getting out of bed in the morning to teach has become pure torture?" Fransisca helped herself to a cup of coffee as she shot a glance in Venara's direction. "Good morning."
"Good morning," replied Venara airily, continuing to stare out the window at the grey sky.
"It's Saturday, what are you doing up at this time of hour?"
"I never went to bed," muttered Venara. "Had a little fall-out with Remus."
Fransisca stared at her from over her coffee mug. "I didn't think that was possible. So, what are you going to do today?" She slumped down beside her on the couch.
"I guess I have to choose between Angelus and Severus, this castle is apparently not large enough for the pair of them. I brought the twins here to learn a bit about the outside world, but." She shrugged. "Seems like I've failed at that like I've failed at most things in my life."
"What are you talking about?"
"I think it is about time I am open and honest about everything. I think. it is about time that I introduce myself. properly to the rest of this school." She met Fransisca's gaze. "Something I should have done over twenty years ago, but things are a bit different now." She couldn't tell her that Peter Pettigrew knew her innest, most sensitive secret and was going to tell his master all about it if he hadn't already done so and when the secret was out, if she buckled under the strain like Sirius once thought she would then all hell would break loose.
"Er. huh?"
Venara smiled at her. "You'll see in due time. I have been up all night, thinking through what I'm going to say. So, what is your excuse? What are you doing in here at six on a Saturday morning?"
"I just like to start the day early, that's all."
Venara elevated an eyebrow.
Fransisca sighed. "Ok, I spent most of last night awake as well. A girl has a lot on her mind, you know."
"Like."
"Like planning future classes and excursions, wondering if you and me could fuse one, feeling sorry for Severus, menstruation cycle, you know."
The corner's of Venara's mouth twitched. "Go back a few paces there, what did you say?"
"Well, I was wondering if we could do a kind of mixed excursion. I know that you are planning to take the class up to Norway and I just wondered if I could bring the Muggle Studies class with me with you."
"You know that was not what I meant."
"It's not a crime to feel sorry for Severus. He is human, you know."
"Could have fooled me," said Venara under her breath. "Look, you do not want to fool around with someone like Severus Snape."
"Spare me the lecture, I'm not in love with him."
"Ok."
"What do you mean 'Ok'?"
"It's ok, what do you want me to say? You're not in love with him."
"He's not a bad person."
"I didn't say he's a bad person."
"Fine."
"Ok." Venara had great difficulties keeping a straight face.
They sat in silence for a long time when finally Fransisca broke the silence. "What if I were?"
"Were what?"
"In love with him."
"What about it?"
"Would it be such a bad thing?"
"I didn't say it was a bad thing."
"But you think it is?"
Venara sniggered. "Stop being so damn nervous. If you're in love with Snivellus, good for you."
"What do you mean about that? What do you mean about good for me?"
Venara met her gaze. "Please don't fret. All I am saying is that it's hard to approach Severus, he is not exactly. tuned for romance. I just don't want you to have your heart broken. You need someone stabile, someone nice, calm and who respects you. You need someone like. Remus." It was like someone had stabbed her in the heart when she said those words, but she knew that Remus would be better off with someone like Fransisca rather than her. She had realised that she could never have him. It was best to comes to term with it. After all, her father had found a suitable husband for her. If she didn't screw up there would probably still be a chance for her, maybe she wouldn't be kicked out of the tribe. But that meant she had to stay away from Remus.
"Remus Lupin? He is like as interesting as a slipper."
Venara snorted.
"No, I need someone interesting, someone unreachable like Snape. It's the thrill of the chase."
"So, you are really in love with being in love. interesting."
"Ok, Freud, not everyone is as dull and boring as you are. It's not just about getting someone into bed, I am really interested in him."
Venara just nodded.
"So, what about Angelus, Marco and Eowita, things going ok?"
"As well as one could expect, Eowita has plans on opening a clothes' store, Marco wants to be my secretary, just have to finish a few exams and Angelus wants to become a. rock artist."
"My, you really have a lot on your mind, don't you?"
"I'd like to think so, yes."
Fransisca looked at her watch. "Sorry, but I have to go, I have some. things to do."
"See you later." Venara sat alone in the staff room till breakfast, and braced herself for what was supposed to come next.
The Great Hall was packed with students and teachers and she took her seat beside her granduncle. "Could you please tell all the students to linger till the breakfast is over, there is something I would like to say." She did not meet Lupin's gaze, who was sitting a few seats away from her, next to Snape.
As breakfast drew close to an end and students made to leave Dumbledore rose to his feet and everyone found their seats again without a word.
"Our Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher has a few words she would like to share with you." He sat back down.
Venara rose to her feet and cleared her throat, her mouth feeling like sandpaper. She cast a glance at each of the other teachers before she turned to face the students.
"We are living in. difficult times," she started. "We need now, more than ever, to stick together against a common enemy and a mortal threat." The corners of her mouth twitched, but there was no smile in her eyes. "I promised myself and the other teachers that I would not influence you in any way and I do not intend to. My agenda is, however, to finally be truthful and apologise for not telling the truth before. We are in a time when love, loyalty, bravery and trust is required more than ever. I can not ask you all to trust me after I have lied for you since I got here."
Venara paused for a bit as she looked out over the crowded room. "I just want you all to know that I had my reasons for concealing certain things for you. I am in fear of my life, but that fear does not justify lying to you all. You see that I am only half human." She said the words slowly so that the students could let it sink in.
At the teachers' table most of them started to stir, all looking up at the one standing with her back on them. Some of them didn't seem all that surprised, but Snape frowned, Fransisca straightened up to pay better attention and Lupin looked downright terrified.
Last mentioned got to his feet and reached out a hand as if to physically stop her, but she merely dismissed him with a wave of her hand. He sat back down, but continued to look at her like she was about to be executed.
The students started muttering, but when Venara once again opened her mouth, the Great Hall went silent.
"My mother was a witch, a fine woman and the greatest mother a child could ask for. My father was. is an." She took off her dirty old headband to show what she had concealed under it. "Elf" she ended when she had exposed her pointed ears.
Snape looked as though he didn't quite want to believe this, Dumbledore looked exasperated and Remus looked like he had been sentenced to death himself. But some of the others, Fransisca and McGonagall looked approvingly at her.
There was an instant uproar in the Great Hall. All the tables were buzzing with excitement. Elves were supposed to be myths, but here a live one had almost literally shown on their doorsteps.
"Aren't elves just in Muggles' imagination?" asked Ron.
To both Harry and Ron's surprise Hermione was shaking her head slowly. "It's an old story, I believe she will tell you all about it. We are meant to think that they don't exist."
And quite right Venara raised her hand to silence the crowd. "I know you are all sceptical to what you see before you, but allow me to explain. There is not many left of us, in the UK it is just about 3000 left of us. That said it is also fair of me to tell you why humans are not aware of our existence. About 2000 years ago humans and elves lived in perfect harmony and whenever humans needed help they turned to the elves, who gave them the help they needed." She looked down, apparently at her shoes.
McGonagall listened intently with her eyes on Venara, so did Fransisca. Snape looked as though the school's standards just had hit rock bottom. Lupin looked as though he was an inch from being executed. Dumbledore sat and looked at the tip of his fingers, in which he had pressed together. The rest of the teachers just looked up at Venara with mild interest.
Venara looked back up. When she continued she looked straight at the Slytherin table as if they had something to learn from what she was about to say next. "However, although men and elves slowly drifted apart because of different views and. qualities, elves continued the same ways they had always done, celebrating all life and treasuring nature. Men desired power and wealth and life itself was placed in second. They started industry, trading, killed eachother over land, property or just for proving a point. Men drifted even further apart from each other. But the final separation came when a dark wizard, setting out to rule the entire world. This time humans were turned down, the elves withdrew from the fight and from the humans. However, there were still a few elves that thought the humans could be saved from their own doom. Many humans and equally many elves were slaughtered, but when the wizard finally was defeated the men took credit for the elves' sacrifice. That was when they realised that the humans could not be saved. After that them cut themselves off from humans and in return they did the same."
There was another pause.
"I was accepted at Hogwarts in 1970. Naturally it was not safe for me to reveal who or what I was. I had been living with both my parents in America for quite some time, but when I was five I my mother split with my father and took me with her back to England, from which she came. As I was saying I was accepted at this school six years later and as I said it was not safe for me to reveal who or what I was so I constantly wore large, ridiculous hats to cover my ears. I did not have many friends because my classmates' ways were not often my ways. But I learned, I learned about qualities and faults and when the first war was on its large I fought alongside my friends, whom I loved above all else, but I was forced to leave the country for personal reasons and I was called back this year to teach you all." She cleared her throat. "That was just about all I had to say." She sat back down.
To everybody's surprise Dumbledore started clapping. After a short while the rest of the teachers joined in, all but Snape and Lupin, but from different reasons.
After a bit hesitation the students started clapping too, although no one really quite knew why they were doing so. Slowly, after the announcement, or rather, confession was over the students slowly cleared out of the room.
Confessions
"I have absolutely no idea how I managed to survive three years at the Ministry, getting up at eight in the morning. When I was in school it was up at the crack of dawn. Have we seriously grown so old and so inflexible that getting out of bed in the morning to teach has become pure torture?" Fransisca helped herself to a cup of coffee as she shot a glance in Venara's direction. "Good morning."
"Good morning," replied Venara airily, continuing to stare out the window at the grey sky.
"It's Saturday, what are you doing up at this time of hour?"
"I never went to bed," muttered Venara. "Had a little fall-out with Remus."
Fransisca stared at her from over her coffee mug. "I didn't think that was possible. So, what are you going to do today?" She slumped down beside her on the couch.
"I guess I have to choose between Angelus and Severus, this castle is apparently not large enough for the pair of them. I brought the twins here to learn a bit about the outside world, but." She shrugged. "Seems like I've failed at that like I've failed at most things in my life."
"What are you talking about?"
"I think it is about time I am open and honest about everything. I think. it is about time that I introduce myself. properly to the rest of this school." She met Fransisca's gaze. "Something I should have done over twenty years ago, but things are a bit different now." She couldn't tell her that Peter Pettigrew knew her innest, most sensitive secret and was going to tell his master all about it if he hadn't already done so and when the secret was out, if she buckled under the strain like Sirius once thought she would then all hell would break loose.
"Er. huh?"
Venara smiled at her. "You'll see in due time. I have been up all night, thinking through what I'm going to say. So, what is your excuse? What are you doing in here at six on a Saturday morning?"
"I just like to start the day early, that's all."
Venara elevated an eyebrow.
Fransisca sighed. "Ok, I spent most of last night awake as well. A girl has a lot on her mind, you know."
"Like."
"Like planning future classes and excursions, wondering if you and me could fuse one, feeling sorry for Severus, menstruation cycle, you know."
The corner's of Venara's mouth twitched. "Go back a few paces there, what did you say?"
"Well, I was wondering if we could do a kind of mixed excursion. I know that you are planning to take the class up to Norway and I just wondered if I could bring the Muggle Studies class with me with you."
"You know that was not what I meant."
"It's not a crime to feel sorry for Severus. He is human, you know."
"Could have fooled me," said Venara under her breath. "Look, you do not want to fool around with someone like Severus Snape."
"Spare me the lecture, I'm not in love with him."
"Ok."
"What do you mean 'Ok'?"
"It's ok, what do you want me to say? You're not in love with him."
"He's not a bad person."
"I didn't say he's a bad person."
"Fine."
"Ok." Venara had great difficulties keeping a straight face.
They sat in silence for a long time when finally Fransisca broke the silence. "What if I were?"
"Were what?"
"In love with him."
"What about it?"
"Would it be such a bad thing?"
"I didn't say it was a bad thing."
"But you think it is?"
Venara sniggered. "Stop being so damn nervous. If you're in love with Snivellus, good for you."
"What do you mean about that? What do you mean about good for me?"
Venara met her gaze. "Please don't fret. All I am saying is that it's hard to approach Severus, he is not exactly. tuned for romance. I just don't want you to have your heart broken. You need someone stabile, someone nice, calm and who respects you. You need someone like. Remus." It was like someone had stabbed her in the heart when she said those words, but she knew that Remus would be better off with someone like Fransisca rather than her. She had realised that she could never have him. It was best to comes to term with it. After all, her father had found a suitable husband for her. If she didn't screw up there would probably still be a chance for her, maybe she wouldn't be kicked out of the tribe. But that meant she had to stay away from Remus.
"Remus Lupin? He is like as interesting as a slipper."
Venara snorted.
"No, I need someone interesting, someone unreachable like Snape. It's the thrill of the chase."
"So, you are really in love with being in love. interesting."
"Ok, Freud, not everyone is as dull and boring as you are. It's not just about getting someone into bed, I am really interested in him."
Venara just nodded.
"So, what about Angelus, Marco and Eowita, things going ok?"
"As well as one could expect, Eowita has plans on opening a clothes' store, Marco wants to be my secretary, just have to finish a few exams and Angelus wants to become a. rock artist."
"My, you really have a lot on your mind, don't you?"
"I'd like to think so, yes."
Fransisca looked at her watch. "Sorry, but I have to go, I have some. things to do."
"See you later." Venara sat alone in the staff room till breakfast, and braced herself for what was supposed to come next.
The Great Hall was packed with students and teachers and she took her seat beside her granduncle. "Could you please tell all the students to linger till the breakfast is over, there is something I would like to say." She did not meet Lupin's gaze, who was sitting a few seats away from her, next to Snape.
As breakfast drew close to an end and students made to leave Dumbledore rose to his feet and everyone found their seats again without a word.
"Our Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher has a few words she would like to share with you." He sat back down.
Venara rose to her feet and cleared her throat, her mouth feeling like sandpaper. She cast a glance at each of the other teachers before she turned to face the students.
"We are living in. difficult times," she started. "We need now, more than ever, to stick together against a common enemy and a mortal threat." The corners of her mouth twitched, but there was no smile in her eyes. "I promised myself and the other teachers that I would not influence you in any way and I do not intend to. My agenda is, however, to finally be truthful and apologise for not telling the truth before. We are in a time when love, loyalty, bravery and trust is required more than ever. I can not ask you all to trust me after I have lied for you since I got here."
Venara paused for a bit as she looked out over the crowded room. "I just want you all to know that I had my reasons for concealing certain things for you. I am in fear of my life, but that fear does not justify lying to you all. You see that I am only half human." She said the words slowly so that the students could let it sink in.
At the teachers' table most of them started to stir, all looking up at the one standing with her back on them. Some of them didn't seem all that surprised, but Snape frowned, Fransisca straightened up to pay better attention and Lupin looked downright terrified.
Last mentioned got to his feet and reached out a hand as if to physically stop her, but she merely dismissed him with a wave of her hand. He sat back down, but continued to look at her like she was about to be executed.
The students started muttering, but when Venara once again opened her mouth, the Great Hall went silent.
"My mother was a witch, a fine woman and the greatest mother a child could ask for. My father was. is an." She took off her dirty old headband to show what she had concealed under it. "Elf" she ended when she had exposed her pointed ears.
Snape looked as though he didn't quite want to believe this, Dumbledore looked exasperated and Remus looked like he had been sentenced to death himself. But some of the others, Fransisca and McGonagall looked approvingly at her.
There was an instant uproar in the Great Hall. All the tables were buzzing with excitement. Elves were supposed to be myths, but here a live one had almost literally shown on their doorsteps.
"Aren't elves just in Muggles' imagination?" asked Ron.
To both Harry and Ron's surprise Hermione was shaking her head slowly. "It's an old story, I believe she will tell you all about it. We are meant to think that they don't exist."
And quite right Venara raised her hand to silence the crowd. "I know you are all sceptical to what you see before you, but allow me to explain. There is not many left of us, in the UK it is just about 3000 left of us. That said it is also fair of me to tell you why humans are not aware of our existence. About 2000 years ago humans and elves lived in perfect harmony and whenever humans needed help they turned to the elves, who gave them the help they needed." She looked down, apparently at her shoes.
McGonagall listened intently with her eyes on Venara, so did Fransisca. Snape looked as though the school's standards just had hit rock bottom. Lupin looked as though he was an inch from being executed. Dumbledore sat and looked at the tip of his fingers, in which he had pressed together. The rest of the teachers just looked up at Venara with mild interest.
Venara looked back up. When she continued she looked straight at the Slytherin table as if they had something to learn from what she was about to say next. "However, although men and elves slowly drifted apart because of different views and. qualities, elves continued the same ways they had always done, celebrating all life and treasuring nature. Men desired power and wealth and life itself was placed in second. They started industry, trading, killed eachother over land, property or just for proving a point. Men drifted even further apart from each other. But the final separation came when a dark wizard, setting out to rule the entire world. This time humans were turned down, the elves withdrew from the fight and from the humans. However, there were still a few elves that thought the humans could be saved from their own doom. Many humans and equally many elves were slaughtered, but when the wizard finally was defeated the men took credit for the elves' sacrifice. That was when they realised that the humans could not be saved. After that them cut themselves off from humans and in return they did the same."
There was another pause.
"I was accepted at Hogwarts in 1970. Naturally it was not safe for me to reveal who or what I was. I had been living with both my parents in America for quite some time, but when I was five I my mother split with my father and took me with her back to England, from which she came. As I was saying I was accepted at this school six years later and as I said it was not safe for me to reveal who or what I was so I constantly wore large, ridiculous hats to cover my ears. I did not have many friends because my classmates' ways were not often my ways. But I learned, I learned about qualities and faults and when the first war was on its large I fought alongside my friends, whom I loved above all else, but I was forced to leave the country for personal reasons and I was called back this year to teach you all." She cleared her throat. "That was just about all I had to say." She sat back down.
To everybody's surprise Dumbledore started clapping. After a short while the rest of the teachers joined in, all but Snape and Lupin, but from different reasons.
After a bit hesitation the students started clapping too, although no one really quite knew why they were doing so. Slowly, after the announcement, or rather, confession was over the students slowly cleared out of the room.