Ruri's Journal

Day 1

Sara felt bad about her brother calling me a crazy woman yesterday when she introduced us, so she read me some more of her book, possibly the most boring thing ever written, aside from the Bible. Oh! How could I say that? Sara is a good writer, hypothetically, and my best friend. And the Bible. I go to Catholic school! Lately I've just been having such wicked, wrong thoughts, and I say things, horrible, pornographic things. Where's it coming from? She also asked me some other names for a man's.you know, and words just popped out of my mouth, things I didn't know I knew! I thought of some more, after school, and was on my way to Sara's house to tell her those when this strange foreigner called me over, wearing the type of clothes that make it look like he's going to flash you at any minute, and I went over to him! And he gave me a disk, and I took it! Thank goodness that Sara's brother showed up, because who knows what else would have happened. Honestly, it was like there was someone else inside me, controlling me! Setsuna. Damn, he's sexy. Ahhh! What am I saying? I'm going to pop in the disk to distract me. I hope it's got nude pictures on it. Why did I say that? What's wrong with me?! Why am I turning into such a whore?!

Later

`My computer told me I used to be an angel called Lapis Lazuli, who was kicked out of Heaven for various sex crimes and reincarnated on Earth. It also said that me acting so strangely is just the "real" me waking up. It would explain why I can see halos. It also would explain my recent desire to put Setsuna in a bridle and whip him until the cows come home. Oh! Why did I say. Oh yeah, the angel thing. And tonight was Scrabble and homemade cider night with my parents. To think I used to enjoy it. No, I'm going to indulge in my new found me and ask Sara to set me up with Setsuna. Even if it means she feels entitled to read to me from her book. God, I hate that book.

Day 3

Sara agreed to set Setsuna and me up, reluctantly. We're supposed to meet in the school's church, probably so she can keep an eye on us. It's nice to know that I don't have to really plan an outfit, because of the whole uniform thing. And I can roll up the skirt. Oh, no I can't. I only have big baggy grandma underwear, and no time to buy a thong. Well, I can always pull the underwear up, even if it means an atomic wedgie. Setsuna better appreciate this.
I tried to seduce the only male teacher in the school. I was right! Sara owes me 1000 yen.

Later

Well, I'm blind. Personally, I don't think it's a big deal, but my parents are downstairs crying. Well, maybe not over the whole blindness thing. It could be the fact that I thought my dad was Setsuna and gave him a little squeeze down there. Or it could be the basket of dead flowers someone sent us.
This might sound a little crazy, but the angel in my computer offered to kill Sara for me. So I said yes. Nothing personal, Sara, but I just can't take anymore excerpts from your crappy book.

Day 5

Sara had the audacity to waltz in here and try to read me a new section of her novel, in which the female lead's dowdy friend Kuri hits on the female lead's boyfriend and as a result goes blind. So I finally told her what I thought of her and kicked her out. The computer angel is taking its sweet time offing her. I hate technology.
I'm bored, too. Maybe I'll call Setsuna up, give him a very special "present".

Later

The Supreme Angel Rociel has appeared to me! He's promised to take me to heaven! I can't wait!

The End