DISCLAIMER:  Frieza sock-puppet:  SE doesn't own DBZ… I DO!!!  Muhahaha my empire is great and Saiyans are foolish and weak!
                       Perfect Cell sock-puppet (popping up from nowhere):  Hey!  I'm part Saiyan!
                       Frieza sock-puppet:  Yeah, that's your best-looking part, and you still ugly!  Here, use this.  *searches in bag for lipstick and mascara*
                       Cell sock puppet:  Ha!!  I am perfect!  I have no need for such churlish things..
                       Frieza sock-puppet:  You insult my makeup?  You shall die!!!!!!!
                       Cell sock-puppet:  You're annoying and whiney.  I'm gonna absorb you.  So what if I'm perfect already, one more can't hurt!  *absorbs Frieza sock-puppet*
                       Frieza sock-puppet:  Waaaaaa……aaa…aa  …  *is absorbed* o_O
                       Cell sock-puppet:  Aah! Much bettarrrrrgh… cramps!!!!!!  *doubles over clutching stomach*  That's not gonna sit well…  now where's that mascara…

Author Note:  There are probably going to be two chapters following this one before things go BOOM… I just have to tie up some loose ends… come on.. 2½ years in two chapters is gonna be a bit of a squish but I can do it… and you know yous want it!  To those who have stuck through this for all 20 chapters (yes even those not reviewing… I know you're there! :P ), thanks to the lot o' ya! ^_^    Sorry it takes me ages to update with work and stuff, plus this was a part I was stuck on…  I have about 19 other chapters I have already written… well, something like that, so updates will be more regular after I've conquered this little hill.  Stay tuned, and don't always ignore the voices in your head!

Voices (In Ones Head)  by `InSaNe`/Schizophrenic Eggplant

Part 3.  Chapter 20 – To Err Is Human… and Not-So-Human!

"This is the surprise?" A disgruntled Nappa questioned.  "But it's Frieza's ship.  Everyone knows that, I was even posted here for a couple of months when they had a crew shortage."  The four Saiyajin – Nappa, Vegeta, the unconscious Daikon, and I, the invisible one, cruised up to a front entrance.   It appeared we hadn't come un-noticed.

"State your business." A crackly voice hummed into the earpiece of Nappa's scouter. 

"Uh…well, um you see, me and Vegeta…" The large Saiyajin groped for words, something which never came easy for him.

"Ah yes, Master Frieza informed us he would be receiving guests." The sentry's voice lost some of its mechanical coldness.  "Wait right there." 

Half a minute passed, and a flap slid up with a droning buzz, and stopped.  The door dropped down with a muffled clang after we entered the airlock, and air rushed in with a hiss to equal the pressure it was inside the ship.  A light flipped from red to green, giving us the ok to board the ship proper.  The sentry opened the valve, releasing the seal on the airlock, and swung open the heavy reinforced door.   Ahead of us was a corridor which went on for quite a distance and curved around, following the contour of the ship.  The sentry, a scrawny-ish four and a half foot tall purple creature with large bug-eyes, sporting an elongated skull adorned with yellow splotches, led us along this passageway.  Intermittently scattered along the outside wall of the ship in conforming order were more airlocks, and oval shaped portals like bubble glass.  I looked out one of the windows to see the red ball of the distant Vegetasei, crimson and yellow clouds streaking and boiling inside the atmosphere.  The suns' light played on the surface, making it glow brightly with defiant pride.  I turned from its angry beauty, and ascended a metal stairwell, following behind the party.  Three sets of footsteps clunked up the stairs, and on to another deck.  It was much like the first, in the way the corridor ran.  This level was slightly smaller because it was in the upper half of the ship.   The short alien sentry took us up to a set of double doors with an intercom, a number pad, and a retina scanning device.  He cleared his throat loudly before pressing the intercom buzzer.

"Yes?" A sharp voice intoned.

"Master Frieza, your guests have arrived."

The voice became a little more honeyed.  "I see…"  Then the razor was re-introduced.  "Well?  Bring them to me.  I don't have all day, you incompetent moron!"   The sentry stood there like an idiot.  He couldn't do anything until Frieza pressed the button to open the doors and grant them entrance, which they did, eventually, with a characteristic whirr of gears.

A sparse room lay before us, with a chair at the middle and at the far end, opposite to where we had entered.  The chair hovered, powered by its own engine, a couple of feet off the ground.  Presently it was faced away from us, the occupant staring out the massive bubble-dome viewing portal with evident boredom.  A pink appendage tipped with purple, dangled from the rim of the deep chair, and twitched every now and again.  Two men – well, one was easily classed as male, I had doubts about the other – stood either side of the chair like statues.  I hadn't come across these new lackeys before.  The greened skinned one was quite a stunning creation, from a race that is now non-existent, thanks to Frieza.  The other one, well, I must've had a very bad day for such a thing to walk, or waddle as the case may be, among the universe.   That was one ugly fruit.

::  Ah yes, Zarbon and Dodoria.  The latter is the butt of many a joke, in writing and amongst friends.  Zarbon?  He'd have to be my favourite non-Saiyajin, such a good fighter for a pretty-boy. ::

~ So you know them? ~

::  Not on an intimate level, but I am familiar with them, yes. ::

"Zarbon.  Dodoria.  Leave us."  His voice alone made my steps sluggish, like the firm tiles were an illusion and they were really quicksand.  The two minions bowed respectfully and marched past us, trying to look straight ahead, but they couldn't resist a small haughty glance and superior air at our small gathering.  Nappa, Vegeta and the semi-conscious groggy Daikon who now leant against his taller twin, even at a normal walk, were too fast for me. 

"Wha-  Is this a… dream?" Daikon painfully opened one eye and took in his surroundings.  They were somewhat familiar, for he had been in this very place at least twice, and the recollection was anything but pleasant.  All symptoms of being knocked out instantly were erased as his mind threw itself into overdrive.

"Nappa!  What are we doing here?  You know where we are?"

Nappa looked down at his twin like he was stupid.

"'Course I know, Daikon!  This is Frieza's room.  We're on Frieza's ship.  Duh…"  Daikon, now he had his balance back and control over his body, stepped back from Nappa.

"Cabbage-brain!  Of course it's Frieza's ship.  WHY are we on Frieza's ship?  Last thing I remember, I… YOU!  I'll get you for pulling that dirty stunt.  Hmph.  Some brother…" Daikon brusquely turned from Nappa in disgust.  The larger man just shrugged.

"Ask Prince Vegeta, it was his surprise, and I was only following orders."

Daikon stared a virtual hole into the wall he faced.  "Hn.  I'll give YOU an order…"

Nappa bit at the unintentional bait.  "You can't, I outrank you, so there!"

His brother snorted arrogantly. "That won't stop me from causing you extreme physical pain."

"Why you… come on then!  Lets see ya turn those pretty words into actions, brain-boy!"

Red-faced and with a forked vein pulsating on a part of his head that wasn't covered by hair, Nappa lunged at his twin brother, who was just about to leap towards the ceiling.

"Nappa!  Daikon!  This isn't the right place, OR the right time!"  Vegeta hissed in warning. 

Nappa halted mid-lunge, and Daikon dropped his stance, and both mumbled apologies in unison. 

"Ve-Ge-Ta."  A cold voice pierced the sterile room, accenting all syllables of the princes name.  "Why do I hear three, and not two of you?  Did you dare take advantage of my lenience?"  Whisper-quiet clicks filled the air, as the hovering chair swivelled around to face the trio.

"Lord Frieza.  There were complications and…"  Vegeta gave Frieza a somewhat urgent look.  "A word…?"  The horned creature beckoned the Saiyajin prince to his side. 

"What's he saying Daikon?  Can you hear him?"  Daikon shook his head at Nappa's question.

"I don't know, it's like the soundwaves are being blocked out somehow, a force field?"  After a tense couple of minutes, Frieza sighed, and motioned Vegeta to go back with the others.  He didn't look happy, more frustrated, but he didn't take it out on the small prince.   Frieza's disposition was sour, but accepting.

"Very well.  But if I hear one thing out of line with you two dunderheads I won't hesitate to exterminate you!  Do-you-comprehend-what-I-am-saying?"  He spoke the last sentence slowly and deliberately, as an adult would to a child.  Nappa and Daikon saluted.

"Yes, Lord Frieza."  Frieza cleverly concealed his enjoyment of the monkeys' display of subservience.  He would never tire of such a novelty.

  "Kui." He spoke curtly to another sentry, a small, purple alien whose face and most likely whole body was segmented and covered in small pimple-like bumps.  He was in fact quite highly ranked:  Frieza's fourth in command no less.  "Take these two gentlemen to their quarters, you know, the ones reserved for 'special guests'.  My young friend and myself have a lot to talk about."  Kui acknowledged his masters specific order with a secret smile.

"Quarters?" Nappa half asked himself, then Vegeta.  "Prince, when are we gonna go home?"  Frieza, again not wanting to miss out on this opportunity, answered the question for the Saiyajin prince.

"Oh, didn't Vegeta inform you?  You are NEVER returning to that dustball!  Now you're here, you're here for good."  Nappa turned to Vegeta in disbelief, and Daikon, who was brought here unwillingly, glowered at the young boy.  The latter raised his hackles and advanced towards Vegeta, angered that they had been left with no choice.  Prince or no prince, Daikon felt this small brat had betrayed them in some way, and that had to be dealt with.  On second thoughts, perhaps he could postpone it, until when Frieza wasn't around.  The small demon's red eyes almost hypnotised him into about-facing and following Kui.  That was the best option, because he still wanted to live another minute.  

Frieza spoke into a small microphone in the arm of his chair.

"Frieza to bridge." A pause.  "Initiate manoeuvre A-330 to pre-programmed co-ordinate #77, Twelve-twelve!!  Frieza out!"  The microphone disappeared back into the arm of the chair, and the discordant being looked all too pleased with himself.

As Nappa and Daikon were being marched out of the room, a deep vibration was felt throughout the ship, as if something was stirring in its bowels.  In half a minute the engines were at revolutions too high to be noticed, and the growling had transgressed to a high pitched whine, which too, dispersed as the ship pulled itself out of orbit and blasted off towards an unknown destination at a startling velocity.


Once Frieza thought he had Vegeta all to himself, he removed the sound-shield that had allowed him to speak in private without Nappa, Daikon, and even myself hearing.  With two of the visible members of that party absent, he felt he could drop the formalities.

"Now, my princeling, our little arrangement.  A few words, and possibly some helpful advice.  I'm not normally this generous with my time, but you are a special case indeed."  Vegeta's eyes didn't leave the prickling red ones of the changeling in command.  "I will only mention these guidelines once and once only.  Consider yourself lucky, most of my men have to use guesswork.  From this day forward, you answer to no-one but me.  I am now your father, your mother, your big brother, your friend, and, in some circumstances, your enemy, but above all, your master.  It's not because I don't mean it this way, it is just how things are.  You are to obey commands issued from me, and your superior officers. 

"If I find orders are not met with, you will face disciplinary action.  I cannot show favouritism in that department, for certain reasons.  Because of your age, you will not officially be working for me until you are four and a half years old.  Until then you will spend your days training six days a week, with one day free – from physical training that is, and undertake a six-hour intensive mental training session, all of which are compulsory.  Your ki-level will be constantly monitored every month until your two-year training period is over, and the level achieved on completion will designate what rank you will be when you enter my forces.  I believe in you Vegeta, and I know you show great promise.  Do you have any questions?  You only have this one chance to ask."

The little prince looked thoughtful, absorbing all of what Frieza had to say.  He felt the tiniest twinge of reluctance of leaving his planet behind, but came to a mature, solid conclusion.  He would take the planet with him, inside.  He didn't need a home to have an identity, he would still be the Saiyajin no Ouji wherever he went, and be proud of that fact. He idly brushed his fringe away from his eyes with a small hand, before he answered.

"When do I start training then?"  He was answered by silence, and an intense glare that flashed a warning intermittently.  Vegeta raised an eyebrow.  Frieza raised a hand, and the young prince got the message before it struck. "…Lord Frieza."  Now was not a good time to push boundaries, and from what Vegeta was starting to sense, no time was.  Later though, may be another thing altogether.  His job now was to listen.  His infantile but intelligent mind sought to hold his tongue no matter how much he wanted to be naturally curious and occasionally blunt about things, the alien in front of him might take it as being flippant, and who knows what would be the outcome if it turned out like that.

"The ship's current time is 0138 hours.  All but those on night duty are most likely sleeping.  Well, they'd better be.  At 0430 the ship switches to day mode.  When the lights brighten, that is your queue to wake up.  There is a brief roll call before the morning meal, then it's straight into it.  It is a busy day.  At 2100 hours the day ends, there is a meal, another roll call and end-of day reports, if any, before the ship goes into sleep-mode at 2200 hours, by which time, all, and I mean ALL of the sub-elites are to be back in their rooms, no excuses."

Vegeta nodded, and suddenly realising he hadn't yet slept since last night, rubbed his eyes.  Frieza lowered the chair and placed one hand gently on his shoulder.

"It looks like you could do with a rest.  You'll need it… oh how you'll need it."  The cold hand removed itself to tap at the scouter.

"Dodoria.  I want you back here now, to show our little royal warrior his quarters.  Too bad!  Do I need to remind you who gives the orders around here?  Just for that, Dodoria, you can sprint here!  I don't care, maybe it would benefit you, losing a few pounds!  Good, see that you do.  Frieza out."   He turned to Vegeta.

"Dodoria will be here shortly, as one would hope, to lead you to your room.   Go wait for him outside, I wish to be alone now." 

Vegeta nodded, and started walking towards the door then stopped, right in front of me.  I began to sweat.

"You coming with?" He asked me, obviously not caring if Frieza was there or not, and he was too busy waiting for me to respond that he jumped at the acidic voice behind him.

"What part of 'Go' don't you understand, child?  It would really be a pity to give you a private lesson in comprehension so early in your career, so I advise that you don't dally, lest I change my mind!"

I whispered very quietly to the startled prince that I would find him later, once he's settled in.  He raised an eyebrow in puzzlement, as if to question my absurd decision, but instead shrugged it off, and turned to bow to Frieza before leaving.  Frieza dismissed him with hasty flicks of a chalk-white hand, and he was left to his solitary mutterings, or so he believed.  His chair whirred with each length it floated along the far wall of the giant office, and clicked before it reached the end and turned about, part mechanically, part telekinetically.   Frieza's long, pink, muscular tail thudded the side of the chair in a random pattern of irritability, as he 'paced' to and fro.

I stayed quiet, observing, gauging, noting.

"…I have the advantage over this damned race of cursed monkeys.   Will they attack…?  Feh, I don't care they are no longer a threat, I hold the ace in this little game, I've won this round…  We'll see who's the better now once they can't locate me… can't hide forever though… stronger than them anyway, but why can't I get it out of their head… blasted monkey king and that stupid legend!  That's all it is, just words, but can they back it up?  No!  I can… so why is it still getting to me… gah!" 

And I thought he was already insane.  This proved to be the icing on the cake; how is it that sometimes he can be so calm and unemotional, but in all truth once there is no other presence to trigger his ire, when he's all by his lonesome, he's one broody alien – so unsure, but constantly re-assuring himself he's invincible.  Hn.  He thinks he can have the universe?  Not on such a shaky foundation of self-worth.

:: This is a side to Frieza I haven't seen.  It makes him look more pathetic. ::

~ Good.  I'd have to disown you if you said you felt sorry for him. ~

:: Um… heh.  Yeah.  *cough*  Makes for some good entertainment though… ::

~ Well, I'd rather not be here, but…~   To make my point clear I gritted my teeth, concentrated and managed to curl my little finger, and then to my dismay, found that I couldn't straighten it back out.  There was nothing I could do except listen to his ranting.

"…why can't I be more like the rest of my family and simply not care?  Father laughed at me the first AND last time I voiced my slight concern, and Koola and Frigid mocked me relentlessly.  All I wanted was some advice, but no, I mustn't show weakness, ah… I do thank my family for teaching me that over the years… I'm not prone to snapping under the strain, I'm not!  All the other races I conquer and induct into my services are at least a bit more submissive and after a time accept the fact that I am lord and master of everything… monkeys were a fun challenge at first, wondered how long it would take for them to break, stubborn lot…I HAVE broken them, well… most of them… they're so weak on their own… group is another thing altogether… but I can handle it, there's nothing I can't cope with!  Hm, legend or not, I have the one most likely to attain that MYTHICAL status under my wing, and with time, he'll forget those words passed down from his primitive-minded sire… Super Saiyajin… "  Frieza wrinkled his nose and pursed his lips as he uttered the last two words, after which he spat the bile that had risen, into a small spittoon in his chair that disappeared at the touch of a button, to remove the liquid.

Was that fear I detected?  I thought it was.  Absently I wondered if I could use this newfound knowledge to work on a little side project…

:: You can try, but don't be too disappointed if it blows up in your face. ::

~ I didn't ask for your opinion, I was merely entertaining PRIVATE evil musings. ~

:: Nothing's private as long as I'm here, you know that.  Hey I've got an idea for your so-called 'side project'.  Wanna hear it? ::

~ Er… OK, why not… hey!!  What are you.. no!   Have you gone mad?? ~

"WooOOOoOOOO  I am the Legendary Super Saiyajin!!  Fear me Frieza!!!  Fear me!!!!  Muhahahahaha!!!!  You can't see me because I'm so fast!  I'm everywhere at once, I'm even hitting you and you're not noticing!  Your fighting skills pale in comparison to mine!!!   Kneel before your new master, you foul reptilian faecal sludge!!!"

There was no change in reaction, no startled leap into a fighting stance, no screeching ancient yet young voice in brash, boastful defence.  Nothing.  She could have been in a soundproof room for all the impact she had created on Frieza.   If anything, I was relieved, and maybe slightly embarrassed, although for no direct reason.

~ You are SO not in my head… ~ -_-'

::  Ooo cool!  I made you sweatdrop! ::

~ And it won't be the last time I'll bet… ~

:: Well, you DID say you wanted to hear it… ::

~ How many times have I said, WARN me before you take over! ~

:: Aww, but then it's no fun! ::

~ It was a waste anyway, for some reason he didn't hear you. ~

::  Yes, most peculiar indeed!  We must be totally impervious to him, nothing we do or say-- ::

~ Or scream… ~

:: -- has no effect whatsoever.  Damn.  That's bad. ::

~ Why?  Were you thinking of holding conversation with him? ~

::  Eww no.  Just… I dunno… hey!  Are you eyes deceiving me or is he really – ::

~ Leaving.  Great!  We're out of here! ~

The chair passed us, painfully slowly. Frieza's eyes stared straight ahead, never venturing left nor right.   Once it had exited fully, and the pink lizard overlord was no longer in optical range, synapses came back to life and I was able to move again.  I stretched my tired muscles out quickly, all the while getting a lock on Vegeta's location, sensing his whereabouts.  He wasn't too far away, on a different level.  I left the room, looked down the corridors, delighted to notice that Frieza was nowhere in sight, then ran to where Vegeta would be.  On the way there, something I recalled from Frieza's mood, and mental stability got me thinking.

Maybe I had made a mistake in assuming that being in Frieza's forces would be good for Vegeta.

:: It's too late to change things now. ::

Much too late.

NEXT CHAPTER:   Hmm, I don't really know… come on, gimme some ideas if you like…  It's going to be a little bit in the future, covering some of Vegeta's training – physical AND mental… which is a concept I haven't really come across that much, and I always enjoy a good brainwashing once in a while.


Chibi Vegeta *hiding under my scanner*:  What's a brainwashing?

Me:  Er… it's when… um… someone takes the brain out of someone's skull and cleans it cos it's all dirty and stuff…
C. V:  Cool!!   Can I try it on you?

Me *sweatdrops*:  But… my brain isn't dirty!  Ask me again in a couple of decades!
C. V:  OK!  *Pops back into the scanner*

Me *sits there and blinks for a bit…*: OH!!! It's one of those!  *Opens scanner and tries to find the portal.  Chibi Vegeta has disappeared.*  It's got to be somewhere!!  *Puts entire head in scanner and closes the lid, too involved in current task to hear footsteps on carpet behind her..*
Mum:  What ARE you doing?  That's not what It's meant for, surely!?
Me:  Oh.. ah.. Hi mum!  I was just… doing a really thorough dust-check!  Scanners shouldn't be dusty y'know!  He he heh…
Mum *leaves, muttering about medication..*