A bell tolled in the Great Hall, symbolizing the one minute it was midnight on Halloween. Ghosts floated into the crowd, people shivered as ghosts past through them, stealing their warmth. And then the bell tolled again and the dance was over. People started moving and streaming toward the doors, a murmur of excitement in it. Lily managed to lose herself in the crowd and sneaked out discreetly.

It was a warm night, and moonbeams lay softly on the grass and threw everything into a wash of breathtaking fadedness. Lily gathered up her dress in her hands and walked on the grass barefoot, the grass tickling her feet. She loosened her hair, done up tightly in an intricate bun. She moved swiftly across the grass, not wanting to be seen out in the open by wandering eyes, glancing outside to get a glimpse of the white moon. She carefully stepped into the shade of the trees and silently made her way to the other edge of the lake. She looked for any signs of her rendezvous. And then she heard it playing, softly. Music, sweet, soft music. She wandered toward it, holding her breath.

And then she saw him, illuminated by the silvery light reflecting off the calm blue water, twirling a soft white lily in his hands.


"Lily…"

***

They stared at each other for a couple of minutes. Lily, undoubtedly speechless.

So it was him.

She couldn't believe it, she never would have thought he could be romantic.

"Severus!?" her voice was like nails on a chalk board.

))My Lily Flower

People say that love's a game
A game you just can't win
If there's a way I'll find it some day
And then this fool will rush in
((

She wanted to scream, she wanted to puke, she wanted to look into his eyes and see if he truly meant it.

"Lily," his voice cracked, "I know you didn't expect it from me, of all people," his voice was saddened. He looked at her intensely.

"Please, just say something,"

"I-" she stuttered, "I-" tears started welling up in her eyes.

James didn't love her. Sirius was drifting away with her. And then this fool, this worm, this slug, this thing had the nerve to mock her. The right words to describe him failed her.

"How dare you," her eyes flashing, yet tears still seeping down her cheeks. She brushed them aside, hating herself for showing such emotion in front of this, this…

"You son of a bitch!" She drew her wand, "How, DARE- how DARE you toy with me like that…"

She did a quick slashing motion with her wand and a burst of purple erupted from her wand.

Severus Snape fell to the ground, still clutching the lily. He had fallen in such a way that the lily was squished and torn. She shuddered as she looked at it.

"James!" she wailed, and she fell to the ground, clutching her heart in pain and sorrow, "James! I thought you loved me!" She sobbed and shook. She looked up from her tears and carefully took the lily from Snape's hand and cradled it.

I am this Lily, she thought, I am in pain, and crushed and torn. I am lily…

"And Sirius!" she suddenly shouted, but her voice suddenly quieted to a whisper, "I though you loved me too." She didn't know why, but she couldn't get the words out. He had never said he loved her. They just were. They had just happened. It was that one romantic morning they had woken up together on that beach so long ago. With James, it had been all her life.

She knew deep down that her heart belonged to James, and no matter what he did, she always would. She always returned to him hadn't she? After all those times with Katy, and he pushed her away, Lily would come running back to him, and forgive him. And then he had only done it again.

Her heart lay torn just like the lily.

***

She had fallen on the grass, her red hair spilling on her. She lay there for what seemed like eternity, but had only been a couple of hours. Snape hadn't awoken. It was almost morning, a dark red was starting to seep over the horizon.

She heard it. Her name being called in the distance. Or was it the wind? Even the wind was mocking her.

It was soft and ghostlike, it sent chills up her spine.

And then he was there, kneeling beside her, worried eyes asking here unsaid questions.

"Lily!" he gasped out. He didn't dare touch her. She seemed so fragile and so lost. She had all the look of heart wrenching despair. "Lily," he sobbed. Dew clung to her, her skin, her hair, her eyelashes. She looked like the goddess of the morning, except for the broken expression on her face.

She looked at the broken flower in her hand, slowly twirling it. She seemed not to care, not to think.

"Do you love me?" she asked in a weary voice.

"Yes! Yes, I love you Lily! I love you," he gasped out.

"Then why torture me so?" she asked, eyes full of sorrow. She looked so small and defenseless. She looked weak and broken; like she was barely hanging on to life.

"I wanted you to love me. I wanted to impress you. And then you went off with Sirius, and I was heartbroken. Why Lily? Why did you put me through so much pain?" he asked her, he felt the same way she looked.

"Because I wanted you to love me. Because I wanted to impress you." she gave a weak smile.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

I bet you all hate me now. Not only have I not updated in MONTHS, BUT made Snape do it.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I made snape do it. But I hate it when the whole story is predictable…

But there it is…

As much as you probably all absolutely LOATH me, review! (pretty please!)

patronus, aka, chocolate ink and sugar quills