Ok, I'll stop sulking and start writing again. I just want to day I'm really pissed off with Katie right now. She's too happy and it's not fitting my mood right now. I just read Speak, awesomely good book, and am in the mood for some good angst right now. I'm going to try out the author of Speak
Style of writing so deal. I'm being all pissy, ignore the author in the cage.
Name of species: Unknown
Unusual external tendencies: Has tendency to wear Santa Claus socks with sandals despite the fact that it is July and that she is not Christian.
Food: tends to be picky and has a strong appreciation for salt.
Sounds: Singing has been known to leave people deaf and breaks glass
Origin: Upper middle class suburbia
Age: 14, 15 soon.
Time here: Unknown, less than a year.
Note: This author is strange and doesn't respond well to staring and has been known to annoy the hell out of people for no reason at all.We are thinking about moving her to a more stable environment.
Please do not feed or provoke or tap on the glass.
Sincerely,
The Fanfiction Author Zoo management
P.S. Again we must stress, DO NOT FEED OR PROVOKE OR TAP ON THE GLASS this rule was made with your sanity in mind.
6/21/97
We didn't make it into the World cup. We got fourth place, bloody fourth place. If I had one more game I could have beaten the goals record but NO the seeker could not catch the bloody snitch. We need Harry. So it's over, no more until next October. I'm thinking about becoming a camp counselor. I don't care that I could support myself for a year with what I made from Quidditch.
A month or so ago a reporter started showing up at the flat and at the field demanding to interview us.
Annoying Reporter: The public wants to know! You two are the hottest couple and the public will be safe if they hear all about it from Witch Weekly.
Oliver and me:
AR: You owe it to your fans
O&K:
Coach: Do the stupid interview so the damned reporter will leave me alone and stops showing up at practice and throwing everyone off.
Me:………………….
Oliver: Fine
Stupid boy will do anything to stop a Quidditch practice from being interfered with. Remind me to rip his head off.
So here's how the interview went.
AR: So what is it like dating THE Oliver Wood
Me: There's got to be other Oliver Wood's out there. The name is simply too common for there only to be one.
AR: But what's it like, woman to woman tell me.
I didn't know the Annoying reporter was a women. So hard to tell under the inch and a half of makeup. Does she even have a face?
Me: Be more spacific.
AR: How is dating him different from dating other men?
AR is getting very annoyed now.
Me: I haven't dated many men, mostly dated in Hogwarts, called them boys then.
AR: Moving on, what is it like to know you're dating Witch Weekly's 'Hottie of the Year?'
Me: No different than dating him when he wasn't hottie of the year.
AR has come up with very silly questions, why would it be any different. Why won't she ask me sensible questions and why is it always about Oliver?
AR: How would you respond if you were told you were voted 'Quidditch gal of the month' by Wizards Dulex?
Me: I would ask who Wizards' Dulex is.
AR: What if I told you that you and Oliver are considered the hottest couple in the Wizarding world?
AR is VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, annoyed now.
Me: Who thinks that? Personally I think Angelina and Fred are a 'hotter' couple.
AR: Who are Angelina and Fred?
Me: Friends of mine
Finally half-sensible questions.
AR: how long have you known Oliver?
Me: I met him when I was six.
AR: So you were childhood sweethearts?
Me: Not really, we were Quidditch buddies, whenever I saw him we would break out our brooms and I would have a go at trying to get the Quaffle past him.
AR: When did you two start dating?
Me: Valentine's Day
AR: Were you broken hearted and crying from a break up and he came in to comfort you?
Me: No
AR: I see
Me: Good for you. If you can't I suggest glasses.
AR: The witches who read our magazine often wonder how you stay fit, what's your secret?
Me: I have a secret? I guess if you count eating a few tubs of ice cream every month and pizza for lunch practically every day since no one bothers to shop for actual food.
AR: What's your exersize plan?
Me: Quidditch practice and beating up and playing pranks on various flatmates.
Annoying Reported left soon after that.
I found the article a month later. It's all 'dating Oliver Wood is the best thing that's ever happened to me I don't know what I would do without him.' 'Oliver is the most important man in my life.' 'Dating the 'Hottest guy of the year' is so thrilling!' 'I'm thrilled that the Wizarding this we're a hot couple and I'm honored for this position.' 'I've known him since I was little. We used to be sweethearts before we went to Hogwarts.' 'He asked me out on Valentine's Day. I had just had my heartbroken and he came in and made it all better but little did he know how excited I was when he asked me to go on a date with him.'
Ok, Oliver Wood is in the top ten best thing that have happened to me and is slowly making his way up the list. Didn't I say the opposite to half of those questions?
Oliver's interview with the woman was also full of silly questions. It was all 'what's you favorite color?' and 'what's the most romantic thing you've done for Katie?' 'What were you like as a teenager?' He answered them and didn't piss off the AR like I did but from watching the interview I could tell he was falling asleep while she was asking him.
Currently the whole team is being interviewed for Quidditch World Magazine. They have good questions like how often we practice and stuff. Oliver is the one who is pissing off the reporter this time. The reporter mentioned some other teams' tactics and Oliver went into a long rant. I'm standing outside the door right now.
"The tactics of the Chuddley Cannons are the worst of all. They don't even have a plan. The let their chasers go wherever so they're all scattered across the field. They don't support each other if an opponent comes. The beaters are just flying around randomly and swinging their clubs around. The seeker just stands still and waits for the snitch to hit him in the head. And the keeper is the worst. He flies back and forth as f on a pendulum. No wonder they haven't won in twenty years," Oliver just lectured.
"Yes," the reporter said trying to control his impatience. "What do you value in a good broom?" I groaned inwardly. Brooms were one of the things Oliver went on forever about. They way to take care of a broom, when to have it checked, how often to fly it so it doesn't get dysfunctional. When he was the captain at school he used to bring people in to teach us this.
"Your handle will only work well if it's made of the right kind of wood. I personally like olive wood. The oil that is naturally in the wood keeps it solid and makes it harder to damage the wood. You have to make sure there are no splinters in the wood. The tail of the broom has to be crafted properly. It has to keep it shape and there can't be any loose straw. I've tried flying with willow branches in place of straw and I've found it's more sturdy. They keep their form and actually increase the speed of the broom. This does compromise the maneuverability of the broom a bit. The binding for the broom has to be a lightweight but strong medal. It has to be a solid loop, if you can see where the sides are melded together, it's bad binding…"
I've listened to this rant way too many times. I'm exiting quickly before anyone can spot me. I hope the poor reporter has the common sense never to interview Oliver about Quidditch again.
Oh, if you are not fond of this format I'm trying out or you think Katie is getting too Mary Sue (I hope I gave enough of a temper to stop her from being this way though I think I need to work more on Oliver,) please just tell me and give me advice on how to change it so it fits your liking better. Some like the whole people write in the journal, some like the dialogue so I'm trying to find a format every likes.
