Scene 4: Somewhere over the rainbow. or at least somewhere.

Navi: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

~Link ignores~

Navi: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey Hey!! HEY!!! HEY!!!!!! HEY!!!!!!

Link: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!

Navi: I forgot.

Link: Stupid fairy!! I could kill you for that! I could tear you shiny sparkly limb by limb until you die I could---

Navi: Oooh!!! I remember now! Let's go learn a song about a horse.

Link: You mean Epona's song?

Navi: Yeah!

Link: No.

Navi: You'll get to see Malon.

Link: Let's hurry up and go already!

~travels to Lon Lon Ranch~

Link: (running into area where Malon is) MALON!

Malon: (spotting Link) LINK!

(they proceed to rush into each others arms and make out with much ferocity)

Navi: Geez, get a room!

Link: (muffled) Fart head.

Malon: (pulling away, looking ashamed) I heard you had a girlfriend.

Link: No way!

(Navi coughs something, sounds like 'liar')

Link: You are my one true love.

Malon: Oh Link!

(Resume making out)

Navi: WHAT ABOUT THE HORSE SONG?

Link: Oh I've been through the desert on a horse with no name.

Navi: I think not.

Malon: (standing up) It goes like this.

~Link learns Epona's song~

Link: Hey! The horse is trying to run me over! RUN AWAY!

(Link stumbles over chickens, chickens begin attacking)

Link: Bye Malon! I love you! Come, trusty fairy!

Navi: Trusty my foot.AAHH CHICKENS!

~leave Lon Lon Ranch~

Link: Ooh look! It's a river!

Navi: Wow, you figured that out all by yourself?

Link: Let's swim in it!

Navi: You can go ahead and drown, I'm continuing saving Hyrule.

Link: YOU'RE saving it? I'm saving it!

Navi: If you're saving it, then come with me!

Link: (grumbling) Afraid of the water.afraid of getting his/her wings wet.

Navi: Shush! Let's go to lake Hylia.

Link: Okay I'll get to go swimming! And in the morning I'm making you waffles!

Navi: I don't like waffles.

Link: You don't?

Navi: No. I'm extremely allergic to them. My wings already itch.

Link: (gasps theatrically) Could it be the great Navi has fleas? You ain't sleeping near me tonight.

Navi: But I love you!

Link: WHAT!!!

Navi: Why else do I torment myself, following you everywhere? I love you Link, I really reeeaaally looooooooovvvve you!

Link: (moves away creeping out) I have a question, are you a boy or a girl.

Navi: Oh, errm, hehhmmm, ahem, never mind let's go to Lake Hylia.

Link: (Raises an eyebrow but follows)

To make a short story shorter they make it to Lake Hylia.

Link: Wheeee! Canon Ball!!!!!

Navi: Wait Link! No! Don't!

Link: Oooooh Looky! A bottle with a thingymajig in it! Let's see what it says.

Navi: It says "Dear Link or whoever happens to be stupid enough to swim in a lake with giant squid. I'm stuck inside Jabu Jabu. I was strip dancing for him while feeding him fish and his appetite got weird and while he was, ahem, trying to be naughty he ate me. Please come rescue me. Ruto the stripper

P.S. Please don't tell my father."

Link: Let's go!

~They go to Zora's Domain~

Link: Hey, King Dude, scoot your butt and let us see Jabu Jabu!

King: None shall pass.

Link: What the-

King: NONE SHALL PASS! Or I'll kick your little-

Navi: But we have a letter from Ruto. Look!

King: Hush Tinkle Bell! She's grounded, go forth to rescue her, if you don't I shall force this owl that has mysteriously revived to follow you everywhere.

Owl That Just Happened To Mysteriously Revive: Who?

King: Link and Tinkle Fell idiot!

Owl: Tinkle fell where?

King: In a chariot! No, that's not right. I shall move over to let them pass, and I shall pass gas! (scoots, farts, scoots, farts, scoots. you get the idea)

Navi: I didn't tinkle recently..

~After rescuing Ruto~

Link: Isn't your boobage too small for you to be a stripper?

Ruto: (In a girly attempt to be sexy) Whatever do you mean?

Link: You know, your boobage, boobery, boobies, booblyness, boobs, breasts, are too small.

Ruto: YOU ANIMAL!!! I'VE NEVER BEEN SO OFFENDED IN MY LIFE!!! You're the scum of the ocean and chicken of the sea! Will you marry me in seven years?

Link: Will you grow boobs?

Ruto: People will mistake me for Dolly Parton!! Or maybe Silicone Sally at the very least.

Link: Okay!

Ruto: Now I dance and give you a shiny stone, which really casts a spell of love over you, but you don't know that.

Link: Okay.

Ruto: (Dances then kisses and hugs Link, and gives him the stone) Don't forget to marry me!!!

Link:..uhhhh.... I won't.

~ back to the field place~

Owl: I have come to annoy Hoot hoot!!! Ruto will be able to work at Hooters.

Link: That's nice. Bye bye.

Navi: Let's go see Zelda now!

And so ends.. What scene is this anyway.. Oh yes! And so ends scene 4!