Scene Seven
(Link, Navi and Epona reach Kokiri Forest. Which is overrun by monsters ~gasp~ shock! Who would've known?)
Link: What the F*&%?????
Navi: Link, dammit, there are children in the audience!
Link: .?
Navi: Ignore these monsters, we're heading for the Scared Forest Meadow.
Link: Scared? I thought it was Sacred.
Navi: Oh trust me, you'll realize why.
(Link and Navi reach the Scared Forest Meadow)
Link: Well this don't look too scary.(walks out in the middle of the path and gets rammed by one of those big brown guys) SHIIIIIIIIITT!!!!!!!
Navi: Told ya you'd be scared.
Link: (grumbling) OK I'll be more careful now.
(Link henceforth hookshots the guys in the back before making the mad dash, and after that defeats the big guy with the club, blah blah blah.enters the Forest Temple)
Link: Well this isn't so bad.(enters main room, four poes float up to greet him)
Poe 1: We are the Four Temptresses.
Poe 2: We are here to seduce you.
Poe 3: And if you please us in the right way.
Poe 4: We'll give you the Sexy Medallion.
(P. 1 turns into Zelda, P. 2 turns into Malon, P. 3 turns into Ruto, P. 4 turns into Saria)
Link: (rubbing his hands together) This is gonna be too easy man.being Hero of Time rocks!
Zelda: Hi Link.won't you come a little closer?
Link: Well of course! (Proceeds to Zelda)
Malon, Ruto, Saria: What about us?
Link: Come on, we can all have fun together!
Malon: You asked Zelda first.sniff.
Saria: Does that mean you don't love the rest of us as much?
Ruto: It's because I'm in child form right now and don't have breasts.I knew it.
Link: No girls, I swear! I love you all equally!
Zelda: He doesn't love us.he just wants us!
Ruto: And needs us!
Saria: And is going to use us!
Navi: Oh shit, I feel a song coming on.
(All start up into the Meat Loaf classic "Two out of Three Ain't Bad)
Link: I want you
Girls: I want you
Link: I need you
Girls: I need you
Link But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you, now don't be sad.
Girls: Don't be sad.
Link: Cause two outta three ain't bad.
Girls: Sniff.he sang for us! How sweet! Let's screw him!
(Sex, sex, sex.it's all you ever think about!!!)
Approximately an hour later.
Girls: Here! Take the sexy medallion!
Saria: (walks forward and hands him the Sexy Medallion) I am the Sexy Sage. Rayru was the Pimp Sage. I'm headed for where he is now.in the place of the Sages. I lend my power to yours with this medallion.
Link: (receives Sexy Medallion) WOW! I feel so much more.sexy!
Saria: The rest of the girls were merely illusions so they will have no memory of this event. Goodbye Link.
(Saria + the other girls disappear)
Navi: You are such an unimaginable.all you want is.
Link: Yes Navi, I know. But hey, I'm the Hero of Time. I have to try to please everyone (wicked smile)
Navi: PLEASE ME! PLEASE ME!
Link: Uh.you don't count cause you are the.uh.Companion of Time.
Navi: Damn.
(Link, Navi and Epona reach Kokiri Forest. Which is overrun by monsters ~gasp~ shock! Who would've known?)
Link: What the F*&%?????
Navi: Link, dammit, there are children in the audience!
Link: .?
Navi: Ignore these monsters, we're heading for the Scared Forest Meadow.
Link: Scared? I thought it was Sacred.
Navi: Oh trust me, you'll realize why.
(Link and Navi reach the Scared Forest Meadow)
Link: Well this don't look too scary.(walks out in the middle of the path and gets rammed by one of those big brown guys) SHIIIIIIIIITT!!!!!!!
Navi: Told ya you'd be scared.
Link: (grumbling) OK I'll be more careful now.
(Link henceforth hookshots the guys in the back before making the mad dash, and after that defeats the big guy with the club, blah blah blah.enters the Forest Temple)
Link: Well this isn't so bad.(enters main room, four poes float up to greet him)
Poe 1: We are the Four Temptresses.
Poe 2: We are here to seduce you.
Poe 3: And if you please us in the right way.
Poe 4: We'll give you the Sexy Medallion.
(P. 1 turns into Zelda, P. 2 turns into Malon, P. 3 turns into Ruto, P. 4 turns into Saria)
Link: (rubbing his hands together) This is gonna be too easy man.being Hero of Time rocks!
Zelda: Hi Link.won't you come a little closer?
Link: Well of course! (Proceeds to Zelda)
Malon, Ruto, Saria: What about us?
Link: Come on, we can all have fun together!
Malon: You asked Zelda first.sniff.
Saria: Does that mean you don't love the rest of us as much?
Ruto: It's because I'm in child form right now and don't have breasts.I knew it.
Link: No girls, I swear! I love you all equally!
Zelda: He doesn't love us.he just wants us!
Ruto: And needs us!
Saria: And is going to use us!
Navi: Oh shit, I feel a song coming on.
(All start up into the Meat Loaf classic "Two out of Three Ain't Bad)
Link: I want you
Girls: I want you
Link: I need you
Girls: I need you
Link But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you, now don't be sad.
Girls: Don't be sad.
Link: Cause two outta three ain't bad.
Girls: Sniff.he sang for us! How sweet! Let's screw him!
(Sex, sex, sex.it's all you ever think about!!!)
Approximately an hour later.
Girls: Here! Take the sexy medallion!
Saria: (walks forward and hands him the Sexy Medallion) I am the Sexy Sage. Rayru was the Pimp Sage. I'm headed for where he is now.in the place of the Sages. I lend my power to yours with this medallion.
Link: (receives Sexy Medallion) WOW! I feel so much more.sexy!
Saria: The rest of the girls were merely illusions so they will have no memory of this event. Goodbye Link.
(Saria + the other girls disappear)
Navi: You are such an unimaginable.all you want is.
Link: Yes Navi, I know. But hey, I'm the Hero of Time. I have to try to please everyone (wicked smile)
Navi: PLEASE ME! PLEASE ME!
Link: Uh.you don't count cause you are the.uh.Companion of Time.
Navi: Damn.
