An unwanted marriage
Chapter 4: The wedding
The next week, Hermione coordinated with Mrs. Weasley (much to Ron's dismay) about bridesmaid, best man, flower girl, and ring-boy outfits. Snape worked out with Dumbledore having his great-great-grandchildren be the flower girls and ring-boys. Hermione and Snape didn't meet at all the next Saturday, due to exams, or the next one, the first weekend of break.
Hermione was at home. She had of course, sent letters to her parents about getting married. Her parents didn't approve it, especially since the wizard in question was so much older, but they still supported their daughter. And Hermione pointed out to them that wizards live to be about 150, so in comparison he wasn't that old - and he was only thirty-five in the first place.
Snape was at Hogwarts, his home for the past few years, going around the castle moodily, lamenting the fact that in two weeks he'd be married to his least favorite student. Albus' overjoyed mood didn't help his any. Minerva's pointing out that she wasn't happy about it either or that they were both equally bright and clever and would be a good match once they put differences aside, or Filius (Flitwick) saying that he was marrying a younger bride, or Albus saying that he was finally marrying and that love was just what he needed, or Sprout saying he'd have the opportunity to pass on his genes.it didn't help matters any for Snape. On the contrary, it made him feel increasingly irritated with his colleagues for their unwanted reassurance and advice.
He was marrying a goddamn student, not to mention the annoying insufferable-know-it-all, best friend of the Potter brat and Weasley.the golden trio. How she had aggravated him, raising her hand repeatedly and talking like a textbook.and two months ago he had thought he'd be rid of her and her two annoying friends when the year ended.
Finally, the next Saturday, they met, and now that Hermione had her apparation license, they apparated to the place, checking it out. They confirmed everything and worked out the details, and Snape assured Hermione that yes, he had told his mother that he had told the Dark Lord he was marrying her because she had invoked the traditional right of choosing a bride for him - and he explained the circumstances under which he and Hermione were marrying. She was as overjoyed as Albus was, and informed him that she wanted grandkids popping out soon. At this, Hermione glanced at Snape - he was as horrified by this as she was. Both were virgins and intended to stay that way, especially considering who they were marrying. Hermione and Snape left, after agreeing that during the marriage and afterward, they'd have to call each other by their first names - calling your wife 'Miss Granger' or your husband 'Professor Snape' just wouldn't be proper, especially considering that now they would share the same last name. They filled out marriage papers so it would be legal, then Hermione dissapparated to her home, and Snape, to his quarters at Hogwarts.
The next Saturday, the day of the wedding, Snape and Hermione agreed to meet at two, two hours before the wedding - but right now it was eight in the morning. Both were up and getting ready. Snape was taking his first shower in way too long - months, years, no one knew for sure. Minerva, Albus, Filch, Hagrid, were bouncing about excitedly (the other staff members were too, but they were at home) - Snape was getting married and taking a shower all in the same day! They were handing him countless shampoos and soaps and literally, teaching him how to take a shower. He was behind the curtain, and Minerva, Albus, Filch, and Hagrid were standing outside, handing him random shampoos, telling him how the faucet worked, how to shampoo, and what to soap up first.
Filch and Hagrid had a hot debate over whether to start at the bottom and work up or the other way around, and then Minerva butted in saying no matter what, wash your hair first - Filch was saying wash your hair last - Snape settled for taking his shower four times to follow each piece of advice - and he needed a shower too. He was irritated that they were all there - didn't they have anything else to do? - but after he voiced his feelings on this matter, and they completely ignored it, he gave in ("Is this really necessary?" "Why, of course, Severus! We wouldn't want you to look greasy on your wedding day!" "I can take a shower myself without you lot supervising me." "I really don't think you can.".). Finally, an hour later, he asked how you turn the faucet off, Filch reached in and did it for him, and Albus threw a towel over the shower curtain. Snape caught it and followed their advice on how to dry off, before stepping out after wrapping the towel around his waist (this he remembered from his early childhood when he did take showers).
His four colleagues applauded; Snape looked murderous. He carefully shaved, and then went into his bedroom, rummaged for his black boxers and socks, and shut and locked the door; he didn't want to be witnessed by these happy bouncy excited people while he was getting dressed. He took off the towel, put his boxers and socks on (black), and then searched everywhere for his wedding robe before finding it hanging from one of the four posters on his bed. He put it on carefully, not wanting to mess it up. He put on his carefully polished black dragon hide boots and opened the door to be ambushed by the four stubborn colleagues who refused to give him peace and privacy. They followed him into the bathroom as he combed his hair, giving advice on how to part it or using hot air from the wand to blow dry it and random unwanted hair advice.
Meanwhile, Hermione was up at seven, and took her shower without any help, taking care to use shampoo followed by a straightening hair potion to tame her curls, shaving her legs and pits, and half an hour later she stepped out, dried herself off, put on her underwear and a white strapless bra, and used the blow-dryer, comb, and a brush to do her hair. She went into her bedroom, put on her hose, and the wedding dress, which she put on gingerly, carefully, as to not run her hose, mess up her hair, or worse, rip the dress. Luckily she managed to put the dress on without any of the three happening. She rebrushed her hair - it shone beautifully now that it was straighter. It hung down her back in beautiful waves. She smiled and ate carefully, brushed her teeth, put on her shoes, her makeup, and dissapparated to go meet Snape.
She got there at 2:05 to hear an icy voice sneer 'You're late.' She turned to find Snape there - he looked handsome in the robes - and Merlin - *did he wash his hair?* His hair held body now that it was not weighed down by grease, his thick raven hair that shone - not with grease, but a healthy clean shine. He would have been attractive if he smiled and dropped the biting attitude, she thought.
Hermione: "You look smashing!"
He scowled. Realizing he wasn't going to thank her or compliment her, she turned her gaze to the beautiful scenery - a grassy clearing out in the country far from any town, complete with flower gardens and a beautiful path. A painted white archway covered in white morning glory vines hung over the path. Snape got to work conjuring chairs in the grassy clearing by the archway. Hermione helped him; he sneered at her but didn't vocally refuse. They then conjured a huge white tent fifty feet from the clearing, and tables and chairs within, allowing plenty of space for a dancing area.
Albus apparated via a port-key, accompanied by Mrs. Weasley holding robes, and two little girls and a little boy, all in deep blue robes. Lucius apparated moments later, dressed in deep scarlet robes. Ginny, Hermione's cousin, and Lavender apparated afterward, dressed in pale pink. Ginny and Lucius glared at each other before Albus informed them they should put their differences aside on their friends' wedding day. Ten house elves from Hogwarts apparated next, wielding food and drinks. Three came after that, carrying the five-layer wedding cake.
At three, family started to arrive - Hermione's family, Snape's, and Ron and Harry. Some of the staff and order came next, followed by the rest of the Weasleys. By three-thirty, everyone else had arrived. There was tension for sure between Hermione's people and Snape's - especially between the Death Eaters and people like Harry or the Aurors or Dumbledore. Luckily the guests, being happy overly-polite British, restrained insulting or cursing the other guests - the happy air for the soon-to-be-married couple helped this. Everyone was talking excitedly to the bride and groom and to each other about how this wedding would play out or how long it would last or if they would have children or if one of them would resort to killing themselves to end it, or most of all, WHY it was taking place.
Finally, at four, the music (played by the enchanted rock, courtesy of Dumbledore), started playing and the guests took their seats. Dumbledore, as he stayed behind to talk to people, was left sitting in the back row on Snape's side, next to the only empty seat. Snape took his place under the archway, flanked by Lucius to his right, and the priest to his left. When everyone's attention was glued to Snape standing under the morning glory archway expectantly, a lone man dressed in a black traveller's cloak apparated soundlessly, and wordlessly sank into a seat beside the only man he ever feared; Dumbledore. A bearded wizard who turned when the mysterious man sat beside him. Eyes twinkling behind the spectacles, smiling, Dumbledore whispered a greeting to the man.
Dumbledore: "Hello, Tom. Beautiful, isn't it?"
The man, known as Lord Voldemort to everyone but Dumbledore, who insisted on calling him 'Tom,' gritted his teeth and clenched his hands to avoid strangling or cursing Dumbledore into oblivion.
Snape looked grim - for once he wasn't sneering, a fact Ron eagerly pointed out to Harry, but he wasn't smiling either, as most people do on their wedding days - he didn't look happy at all. Two flower girls in deep blue swept down the aisle, spreading flowers where they walked, looking positively delighted. They sat down in the front row. The ring-boy came next, proudly holding a scarlet pillow with two gold rings on it, which he handed to Snape, before sitting down nervously. Snape looked at the rings - so this was it. His thirty-five years of freedom were over. He looked up once the enchanted rock started up 'Pachebel's Canon' - a classical piece common at weddings of people tired of the 'dum dum de-dum.' sequence.
Hermione came walking slowly down the aisle, Lavender, her cousin, and Ginny holding out the train. Hermione looked dazzling, but it was perhaps a good thing she was wearing the veil over her face - with each step, each passing moment, she realized how much closer she was to marrying the man she despised, she hated.and what exactly 'marrying' might mean. She wasn't happy in the least about this wedding. Yet much as she hated this man, she would still marry him - otherwise it would mean his death. If she didn't, it would be as good as murdering him.
She came down the aisle solemnly, holding her bouquet, before taking her place to the left of the priest, her bridesmaids taking their places to her left. The priest opened the book and said the traditional words uniting the bride and groom before him. It seemed an eternity at every other wedding, but now it seemed too quick. Finally, time slowed down and the moments snailed by towards the end.
Priest rambling: "We gather here today to witness the union of Hermione Granger and Severus Snape.To be united until death do they part.Severus, will you take Hermione as your lawful wedded wife?"
Snape gazed into Hermione's eyes; he had to do this or he'd be killed.
Snape: "I do."
Priest: "And will you, Hermione, take Severus as your lawful wedded husband?"
Not raising her downcast face, Hermione spoke.
Hermione: "I do."
Ron and Harry glanced at each other, not believing this. Snape gracefully slipped the 14-karat gold ring on Hermione's finger, already adorned with the engagement ring, and she slipped the other gold ring on his own finger - his own long pale finger.
Priest: "You may now kiss the bride."
Quite a few in the audience raised their eyebrows, despite the fact that they knew this was coming; Snape's reputation was quite well known.
Snape lifted the veil concealing Hermione's face back over her head. His cold black eyes softened. Hermione now fully understood what this marriage meant - what it meant to be married. Hermione looked downcast and sad; her eyes sparkled with tears, tears trailing down her cheeks.
"It'll be alright." Snape whispered, barely audible, barely moving his lips.
Snape tilted his head slightly, and held a long-fingered pale hand against Hermione's cheek, gently wiping the tears away. He bent down and gently tilting her head up with hand. He gracefully tilted his own head and locked his lips with hers in an open-mouth kiss. Hermione's tears ceased at his gentleness, at the warm pressure on her lips as he locked lips with hers. She looked up into his warm black eyes, her eyes shining brightly. She held a hand to his pale cheek and back to his raven hair, holding his neck. She had never known the Potions master to be such a good kisser.she didn't want to break the sensuous connection.
When he needed to breathe though, Severus gracefully backed away from her. She put her arm around his waist and they walked down the aisle, spotting many familiar faces, some like Albus wiping tears of happiness and joy with a handkerchief (Voldemort glanced at Albus and rolled his eyes). The guests got up to greet the newly-wedded bride and groom, stupefied in varying degrees by what had just happened.
Dumbledore came by and patted Snape on the back.
Dumbledore: "Well done, my boy!"
Voldemort came, in the cloak. At once, Snape knew who this was, and tightened his grip on Hermione protectively.
Hermione: "Who are you?"
Voldemort (in a high cold voice): "Let's just say I made Potter famous and leave it at that."
Hermione frowned and slapped him hard across the face. Voldemort turned away, rubbing his cheek.
Harry and Ron approached Hermione and hugged her; stunned.
Ron: "A traditional Malfoy smack! But, who was that?"
Hermione: "All he said was that he made Potter famous."
Harry looked puzzled for a second - he was famous for having survived the Dark Lord's curse and bringing about his downfall -the Dark Lord made him famous.Harry stared at the retreating back incredulously.
Harry: "That's - that's Voldemort? Professor, why'd you invite him?"
Snape: "I didn't. He came uninvited. Let's hope no one else notices who he is."
Ron shrugged and he and Harry hugged Hermione.
Ron: "Professor - you hurt Hermione in anyway, and I'll be after your blood."
Hermione smiled.
Hermione: "He won't hurt me, Ron. I'm sure of it."
She tightened her grip around Snape in a one-armed hug. Ron left with Harry, disgusted.
Other guests came up and greeted them before moving on to the tent or to go admire the flower gardens. Dumbledore's enchanted rock started to play nice music, and the house elf caterers swept around with appetizers and or d'evoures. Hermione and Snape hung around with the different guests talking. Hermione's guests that knew Snape were of the opinion that she was far more deserving then this - the Death Eaters had similar opinions of Snape being more deserving of someone besides a mudblood. Lupin came up to them and shook their hands.
Remus: "Congratulations, Hermione, Severus.Never would've thought.so, Severus - you end up marrying the best friend of James Potter's only son! I just wonder what he'd say if he could see you now."
Snape coldly: "And I notice that you're still single and unable to find work, Remus."
Hermione: "Can't you two put it behind yourselves? It was over fifteen years ago!"
Snape: "Yet it continued to haunt me throughout my years."
Fred and George came up, bouncy and happy as ever. They shoved over Remus and hugged Hermione and Snape excitedly.
Fred: "G'day, Mrs. Snape. I'm Gred. I'll make a bargain with you - a Wizard Wheezes deluxe box for a thing of potions."
George happily shook their hands when he noticed Hermione's rings.
George: "Lordy Forge - look at this - wooo - muy expensivo, if I do say so myself."
He bowed Lockhart-style before standing up.
Fred: "It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Mr. Congeniality!"
George: "Sexiest man of the year! Move over, Tom Cruise and Harrison Ford! It's the diabolically British who's-not-so-greasy!"
Fred: "It's Mr. Personality!"
George held his fist like a microphone to Hermione.
George: "So tell me, you've gone against all odds and started working for us, made dear old Ronniekins lose his marbles, and now you've married the bloody Potions master! What are you going to do next?"
Mrs. Weasley came over, shoving them out of the way.
Mrs. Weasley: "Oh dear - I hope they haven't been giving you two too much trouble - they really are quite a handful."
Snape glared at Hermione.
Snape: "Oh, no trouble at all, Molly."
Lucius came by with Draco, who was looking curiously between them.
Draco: "So that's it then? You just go and marry the first person you see, no matter who the hell they are? You really must be desperate."
Snape and Hermione looked at each other.
Hermione: "Is he talking to you or me?"
Snape: "Draco, I have no idea whether you're insulting me or Hermione, but I advise you stop, as I still haven't graded your NEWT."
Lucius: "Are you threatening my son?"
Snape smirking: "Yes, Lucius, I am. And if you two don't have anything decent to say, I advise you leave. Hermione and I are both well-equipped with hexes and curses."
Lucius sneered and made his way to his seat with Draco and Narcissa.
Snape and Hermione sat down as the food was passed out - gourmet food of all kinds provided by the house elves - delicious cooking - British food, as well as some French (Snape requested food from his homeland, Paris). The house elves had clearly outdone themselves. While everyone else was eating and talking happily, Snape and Hermione were as glum as ever - at least now that they were sitting at the table they didn't have to have their arms around each other like when they were talking to guests - which they only did to keep up the act that they were a happily matched couple. Telling any guests the truth would be too dangerous, as not only the Death Eaters but Voldemort himself was present. They were quietly eating their food, although not really hungry.
The enchanted rock started up Weird Sisters dancing music, and they knew they had to go on stage and share one first dance. Snape raised his eyebrows, but nonetheless played the role of a happy loving groom by extending his hand to Hermione, who took it daintily - they stood and made for the dance floor. It was a romantic slow song most unfortunately - most couples didn't play Ludacris for their first dance at a wedding - it was always a slow song.
At least he knows how to dance, Hermione thought - as she twirled around the dance floor, one arm wrapped around Snape about mid-back, the other hand out, clasping Snape's. His arm was around her lower-back. Hermione shuddered at how close she was to him - it was disgusting. He was her professor just several weeks ago and now.the future was just sickening to think about. Snape was an excellent actor, having to lie to Voldemort and keep up the role of a Death Eater constantly, having to favor his own students and treat the Boy-Who-Lived and muggle-borns and Gryffindors so cruelly.no one knew for sure what his true feelings were about anything, really, as he had to put on so many fronts. Even he wasn't really sure. And now one of the most trying tests - having to pretend to be the loving newly- wed husband to one his former students, for Merlin's sake! What has the world come to??
Finally, the song ended - Hermione and Snape backed away from each other. They were expected to dance more, but thank Merlin it was a fast song. Other people came out and did their stuff - it was a fast heavy-beat pop song. Snape could dance to this, but it was still pretty funny seeing him. Even funnier was when the rap song came up. Snape protested violently against such music at his wedding, but eventually gave in to Hermione's will. Snape had visited America - DC - years ago, where some local teens had taught him to break dance - so Snape went out on the dance floor and did his moves (thank Merlin he's wearing his black pants underneath, Hermione thought). Soon, a crowd gathered around him, watching and cheering him on. Fred and George challenged him - Fred turned out the victor, but it was a close call between the three (George slipped and fell and Snape tripped over him, pulling down Fred as well - Harry called for a pile-on - quite a few jumped on Fred until Ron pointed out that George couldn't breathe.). Hermione and Ginny were watching the whole scenario, muttering 'boys' under their breath.
A few more songs later, another romantic song started up. Hermione breathed deeply through her nose to keep from screaming. Clearly Snape was having the same trouble. Reluctantly, they wrapped their arms around each other again and swirled around the dance floor - Snape was steering. Harry passed by with Parvati - they looked at Hermione and Snape horrified, back at each other, and then broke out into giggles (yes, the Boy-Who-Lived-And-Giggled- Insanely). Finally, after what was far too long, the song ended. A much faster heavy-beat rock/heavy-metal song started up. By now, not only Hermione's generation, but Snape's, and even some older people who probably shouldn't dance because it'd be bad for their health and could cause potential heart attacks or seizures (then again, Dumbledore, Hagrid, Minerva, or Voldie in a full-fledged epileptic seizure would be highly amusing.twitch, twitch.) were out dancing, or at least trying to dance to the music that was far beyond their time. When everyone out on the dance floor was sweating a bit and pink in the face (hee hee! Snape, Voldie, and Lucius all pink in the face! Hee hee.pale people go pink! Note to self - save pictures for black-mail later - their emails as far as I know are evil_glaring_eye@Hogwarts.net , everyone_must_die@Darkwizards.net , and head_stuck_up_my_arse@MinistryoMagic.gov . How often they check, considering they're wizards - at least I think they are - is a different matter).
Hermione and Snape sat down and the music died down to simple background music - people took their seats knowing what was coming. Dobby and Winky lead the way, helping three other house elves bring in the wedding cake. It was a huge seven-layer cake, topped with little moving models of Hermione and Snape at the top. Dobby pulled a huge-ass knife out of his toga-thing and cut the cake, handing a huge-ass to Hermione and Snape. Hermione dug into the cake slice with a fork, but Snape shook his head smiling and scooped a handful out of the slice and tried to feed it to Hermione, but ended up smearing it all over her face.
She took a handful of cake and threw it at him, hitting him in the face. They laughed (Snape laughing? Has Hell frozen over or what?) and ate the slice mostly with their hands, half of the cake ending up on the table, and on their faces. People cheered or took pictures or whatever. Dobby cut the cake and the house elves distributed slices - it was almond-flavored and fluffy. Hermione and Snape wiped all the cake off with their napkins before cutting themselves new slices, this time eating them like sane people (ok, so they're not sane, but close enough). Dobby opened a thing of Chateau Monteau white wine and popped the cork before pouring it in Hermione and Snape's crystal wineglasses.
Snape: "A toast to our future, Hermione."
They raised their glasses, which tinkled on contact. The guests cheered and raised their glasses, making lots of pretty tinkling ringing sounds. Hermione sat back while Snape helped himself to more cake. He found the figurines at the top and took it off to examine it. Hermione leaned forward and laughed. She ran her finger over the highly-detailed wax Snape.
Hermione: "It looks just like you!"
Meanwhile, at another table, Fred and George held their spoons to their glasses, grinning from ear to ear.
Fred: "Time to give our dear Potions professor a little torture, spoon- style, eh, Forge?"
George: "And the prefect who threatened our business too many times back in her fifth year."
Ron saw them - too late. Fred and George clanged their glasses with the spoons, quite audibly - the crystal-clear ring echoed throughout the room, demanding the newly-wed couple kiss.
Ron: "No!"
Harry looked down the table toward Fred and George, and glanced up at his poor friend Hermione. His jaw dropped when Hermione and Snape pecked each other on the lips. Fred and George grinned and kept clinging the glass faster and faster - Hermione and Snape had to exchange a brief kiss about seventeen times before the glass broke. Fred and George grinned and picked up another - before a fuming Mrs. Weasley standing between them grabbed their wrists and yelled at them; Fred and George's smiles didn't falter however- they had long ago grown immune to her shouting. They did stop however, when Ron pointed out that Hermione had helped them invent the newest addition to their stock inventory.
People eventually started leaving. Harry approached Hermione and Snape, looking as grim as they did.
Chapter 4: The wedding
The next week, Hermione coordinated with Mrs. Weasley (much to Ron's dismay) about bridesmaid, best man, flower girl, and ring-boy outfits. Snape worked out with Dumbledore having his great-great-grandchildren be the flower girls and ring-boys. Hermione and Snape didn't meet at all the next Saturday, due to exams, or the next one, the first weekend of break.
Hermione was at home. She had of course, sent letters to her parents about getting married. Her parents didn't approve it, especially since the wizard in question was so much older, but they still supported their daughter. And Hermione pointed out to them that wizards live to be about 150, so in comparison he wasn't that old - and he was only thirty-five in the first place.
Snape was at Hogwarts, his home for the past few years, going around the castle moodily, lamenting the fact that in two weeks he'd be married to his least favorite student. Albus' overjoyed mood didn't help his any. Minerva's pointing out that she wasn't happy about it either or that they were both equally bright and clever and would be a good match once they put differences aside, or Filius (Flitwick) saying that he was marrying a younger bride, or Albus saying that he was finally marrying and that love was just what he needed, or Sprout saying he'd have the opportunity to pass on his genes.it didn't help matters any for Snape. On the contrary, it made him feel increasingly irritated with his colleagues for their unwanted reassurance and advice.
He was marrying a goddamn student, not to mention the annoying insufferable-know-it-all, best friend of the Potter brat and Weasley.the golden trio. How she had aggravated him, raising her hand repeatedly and talking like a textbook.and two months ago he had thought he'd be rid of her and her two annoying friends when the year ended.
Finally, the next Saturday, they met, and now that Hermione had her apparation license, they apparated to the place, checking it out. They confirmed everything and worked out the details, and Snape assured Hermione that yes, he had told his mother that he had told the Dark Lord he was marrying her because she had invoked the traditional right of choosing a bride for him - and he explained the circumstances under which he and Hermione were marrying. She was as overjoyed as Albus was, and informed him that she wanted grandkids popping out soon. At this, Hermione glanced at Snape - he was as horrified by this as she was. Both were virgins and intended to stay that way, especially considering who they were marrying. Hermione and Snape left, after agreeing that during the marriage and afterward, they'd have to call each other by their first names - calling your wife 'Miss Granger' or your husband 'Professor Snape' just wouldn't be proper, especially considering that now they would share the same last name. They filled out marriage papers so it would be legal, then Hermione dissapparated to her home, and Snape, to his quarters at Hogwarts.
The next Saturday, the day of the wedding, Snape and Hermione agreed to meet at two, two hours before the wedding - but right now it was eight in the morning. Both were up and getting ready. Snape was taking his first shower in way too long - months, years, no one knew for sure. Minerva, Albus, Filch, Hagrid, were bouncing about excitedly (the other staff members were too, but they were at home) - Snape was getting married and taking a shower all in the same day! They were handing him countless shampoos and soaps and literally, teaching him how to take a shower. He was behind the curtain, and Minerva, Albus, Filch, and Hagrid were standing outside, handing him random shampoos, telling him how the faucet worked, how to shampoo, and what to soap up first.
Filch and Hagrid had a hot debate over whether to start at the bottom and work up or the other way around, and then Minerva butted in saying no matter what, wash your hair first - Filch was saying wash your hair last - Snape settled for taking his shower four times to follow each piece of advice - and he needed a shower too. He was irritated that they were all there - didn't they have anything else to do? - but after he voiced his feelings on this matter, and they completely ignored it, he gave in ("Is this really necessary?" "Why, of course, Severus! We wouldn't want you to look greasy on your wedding day!" "I can take a shower myself without you lot supervising me." "I really don't think you can.".). Finally, an hour later, he asked how you turn the faucet off, Filch reached in and did it for him, and Albus threw a towel over the shower curtain. Snape caught it and followed their advice on how to dry off, before stepping out after wrapping the towel around his waist (this he remembered from his early childhood when he did take showers).
His four colleagues applauded; Snape looked murderous. He carefully shaved, and then went into his bedroom, rummaged for his black boxers and socks, and shut and locked the door; he didn't want to be witnessed by these happy bouncy excited people while he was getting dressed. He took off the towel, put his boxers and socks on (black), and then searched everywhere for his wedding robe before finding it hanging from one of the four posters on his bed. He put it on carefully, not wanting to mess it up. He put on his carefully polished black dragon hide boots and opened the door to be ambushed by the four stubborn colleagues who refused to give him peace and privacy. They followed him into the bathroom as he combed his hair, giving advice on how to part it or using hot air from the wand to blow dry it and random unwanted hair advice.
Meanwhile, Hermione was up at seven, and took her shower without any help, taking care to use shampoo followed by a straightening hair potion to tame her curls, shaving her legs and pits, and half an hour later she stepped out, dried herself off, put on her underwear and a white strapless bra, and used the blow-dryer, comb, and a brush to do her hair. She went into her bedroom, put on her hose, and the wedding dress, which she put on gingerly, carefully, as to not run her hose, mess up her hair, or worse, rip the dress. Luckily she managed to put the dress on without any of the three happening. She rebrushed her hair - it shone beautifully now that it was straighter. It hung down her back in beautiful waves. She smiled and ate carefully, brushed her teeth, put on her shoes, her makeup, and dissapparated to go meet Snape.
She got there at 2:05 to hear an icy voice sneer 'You're late.' She turned to find Snape there - he looked handsome in the robes - and Merlin - *did he wash his hair?* His hair held body now that it was not weighed down by grease, his thick raven hair that shone - not with grease, but a healthy clean shine. He would have been attractive if he smiled and dropped the biting attitude, she thought.
Hermione: "You look smashing!"
He scowled. Realizing he wasn't going to thank her or compliment her, she turned her gaze to the beautiful scenery - a grassy clearing out in the country far from any town, complete with flower gardens and a beautiful path. A painted white archway covered in white morning glory vines hung over the path. Snape got to work conjuring chairs in the grassy clearing by the archway. Hermione helped him; he sneered at her but didn't vocally refuse. They then conjured a huge white tent fifty feet from the clearing, and tables and chairs within, allowing plenty of space for a dancing area.
Albus apparated via a port-key, accompanied by Mrs. Weasley holding robes, and two little girls and a little boy, all in deep blue robes. Lucius apparated moments later, dressed in deep scarlet robes. Ginny, Hermione's cousin, and Lavender apparated afterward, dressed in pale pink. Ginny and Lucius glared at each other before Albus informed them they should put their differences aside on their friends' wedding day. Ten house elves from Hogwarts apparated next, wielding food and drinks. Three came after that, carrying the five-layer wedding cake.
At three, family started to arrive - Hermione's family, Snape's, and Ron and Harry. Some of the staff and order came next, followed by the rest of the Weasleys. By three-thirty, everyone else had arrived. There was tension for sure between Hermione's people and Snape's - especially between the Death Eaters and people like Harry or the Aurors or Dumbledore. Luckily the guests, being happy overly-polite British, restrained insulting or cursing the other guests - the happy air for the soon-to-be-married couple helped this. Everyone was talking excitedly to the bride and groom and to each other about how this wedding would play out or how long it would last or if they would have children or if one of them would resort to killing themselves to end it, or most of all, WHY it was taking place.
Finally, at four, the music (played by the enchanted rock, courtesy of Dumbledore), started playing and the guests took their seats. Dumbledore, as he stayed behind to talk to people, was left sitting in the back row on Snape's side, next to the only empty seat. Snape took his place under the archway, flanked by Lucius to his right, and the priest to his left. When everyone's attention was glued to Snape standing under the morning glory archway expectantly, a lone man dressed in a black traveller's cloak apparated soundlessly, and wordlessly sank into a seat beside the only man he ever feared; Dumbledore. A bearded wizard who turned when the mysterious man sat beside him. Eyes twinkling behind the spectacles, smiling, Dumbledore whispered a greeting to the man.
Dumbledore: "Hello, Tom. Beautiful, isn't it?"
The man, known as Lord Voldemort to everyone but Dumbledore, who insisted on calling him 'Tom,' gritted his teeth and clenched his hands to avoid strangling or cursing Dumbledore into oblivion.
Snape looked grim - for once he wasn't sneering, a fact Ron eagerly pointed out to Harry, but he wasn't smiling either, as most people do on their wedding days - he didn't look happy at all. Two flower girls in deep blue swept down the aisle, spreading flowers where they walked, looking positively delighted. They sat down in the front row. The ring-boy came next, proudly holding a scarlet pillow with two gold rings on it, which he handed to Snape, before sitting down nervously. Snape looked at the rings - so this was it. His thirty-five years of freedom were over. He looked up once the enchanted rock started up 'Pachebel's Canon' - a classical piece common at weddings of people tired of the 'dum dum de-dum.' sequence.
Hermione came walking slowly down the aisle, Lavender, her cousin, and Ginny holding out the train. Hermione looked dazzling, but it was perhaps a good thing she was wearing the veil over her face - with each step, each passing moment, she realized how much closer she was to marrying the man she despised, she hated.and what exactly 'marrying' might mean. She wasn't happy in the least about this wedding. Yet much as she hated this man, she would still marry him - otherwise it would mean his death. If she didn't, it would be as good as murdering him.
She came down the aisle solemnly, holding her bouquet, before taking her place to the left of the priest, her bridesmaids taking their places to her left. The priest opened the book and said the traditional words uniting the bride and groom before him. It seemed an eternity at every other wedding, but now it seemed too quick. Finally, time slowed down and the moments snailed by towards the end.
Priest rambling: "We gather here today to witness the union of Hermione Granger and Severus Snape.To be united until death do they part.Severus, will you take Hermione as your lawful wedded wife?"
Snape gazed into Hermione's eyes; he had to do this or he'd be killed.
Snape: "I do."
Priest: "And will you, Hermione, take Severus as your lawful wedded husband?"
Not raising her downcast face, Hermione spoke.
Hermione: "I do."
Ron and Harry glanced at each other, not believing this. Snape gracefully slipped the 14-karat gold ring on Hermione's finger, already adorned with the engagement ring, and she slipped the other gold ring on his own finger - his own long pale finger.
Priest: "You may now kiss the bride."
Quite a few in the audience raised their eyebrows, despite the fact that they knew this was coming; Snape's reputation was quite well known.
Snape lifted the veil concealing Hermione's face back over her head. His cold black eyes softened. Hermione now fully understood what this marriage meant - what it meant to be married. Hermione looked downcast and sad; her eyes sparkled with tears, tears trailing down her cheeks.
"It'll be alright." Snape whispered, barely audible, barely moving his lips.
Snape tilted his head slightly, and held a long-fingered pale hand against Hermione's cheek, gently wiping the tears away. He bent down and gently tilting her head up with hand. He gracefully tilted his own head and locked his lips with hers in an open-mouth kiss. Hermione's tears ceased at his gentleness, at the warm pressure on her lips as he locked lips with hers. She looked up into his warm black eyes, her eyes shining brightly. She held a hand to his pale cheek and back to his raven hair, holding his neck. She had never known the Potions master to be such a good kisser.she didn't want to break the sensuous connection.
When he needed to breathe though, Severus gracefully backed away from her. She put her arm around his waist and they walked down the aisle, spotting many familiar faces, some like Albus wiping tears of happiness and joy with a handkerchief (Voldemort glanced at Albus and rolled his eyes). The guests got up to greet the newly-wedded bride and groom, stupefied in varying degrees by what had just happened.
Dumbledore came by and patted Snape on the back.
Dumbledore: "Well done, my boy!"
Voldemort came, in the cloak. At once, Snape knew who this was, and tightened his grip on Hermione protectively.
Hermione: "Who are you?"
Voldemort (in a high cold voice): "Let's just say I made Potter famous and leave it at that."
Hermione frowned and slapped him hard across the face. Voldemort turned away, rubbing his cheek.
Harry and Ron approached Hermione and hugged her; stunned.
Ron: "A traditional Malfoy smack! But, who was that?"
Hermione: "All he said was that he made Potter famous."
Harry looked puzzled for a second - he was famous for having survived the Dark Lord's curse and bringing about his downfall -the Dark Lord made him famous.Harry stared at the retreating back incredulously.
Harry: "That's - that's Voldemort? Professor, why'd you invite him?"
Snape: "I didn't. He came uninvited. Let's hope no one else notices who he is."
Ron shrugged and he and Harry hugged Hermione.
Ron: "Professor - you hurt Hermione in anyway, and I'll be after your blood."
Hermione smiled.
Hermione: "He won't hurt me, Ron. I'm sure of it."
She tightened her grip around Snape in a one-armed hug. Ron left with Harry, disgusted.
Other guests came up and greeted them before moving on to the tent or to go admire the flower gardens. Dumbledore's enchanted rock started to play nice music, and the house elf caterers swept around with appetizers and or d'evoures. Hermione and Snape hung around with the different guests talking. Hermione's guests that knew Snape were of the opinion that she was far more deserving then this - the Death Eaters had similar opinions of Snape being more deserving of someone besides a mudblood. Lupin came up to them and shook their hands.
Remus: "Congratulations, Hermione, Severus.Never would've thought.so, Severus - you end up marrying the best friend of James Potter's only son! I just wonder what he'd say if he could see you now."
Snape coldly: "And I notice that you're still single and unable to find work, Remus."
Hermione: "Can't you two put it behind yourselves? It was over fifteen years ago!"
Snape: "Yet it continued to haunt me throughout my years."
Fred and George came up, bouncy and happy as ever. They shoved over Remus and hugged Hermione and Snape excitedly.
Fred: "G'day, Mrs. Snape. I'm Gred. I'll make a bargain with you - a Wizard Wheezes deluxe box for a thing of potions."
George happily shook their hands when he noticed Hermione's rings.
George: "Lordy Forge - look at this - wooo - muy expensivo, if I do say so myself."
He bowed Lockhart-style before standing up.
Fred: "It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Mr. Congeniality!"
George: "Sexiest man of the year! Move over, Tom Cruise and Harrison Ford! It's the diabolically British who's-not-so-greasy!"
Fred: "It's Mr. Personality!"
George held his fist like a microphone to Hermione.
George: "So tell me, you've gone against all odds and started working for us, made dear old Ronniekins lose his marbles, and now you've married the bloody Potions master! What are you going to do next?"
Mrs. Weasley came over, shoving them out of the way.
Mrs. Weasley: "Oh dear - I hope they haven't been giving you two too much trouble - they really are quite a handful."
Snape glared at Hermione.
Snape: "Oh, no trouble at all, Molly."
Lucius came by with Draco, who was looking curiously between them.
Draco: "So that's it then? You just go and marry the first person you see, no matter who the hell they are? You really must be desperate."
Snape and Hermione looked at each other.
Hermione: "Is he talking to you or me?"
Snape: "Draco, I have no idea whether you're insulting me or Hermione, but I advise you stop, as I still haven't graded your NEWT."
Lucius: "Are you threatening my son?"
Snape smirking: "Yes, Lucius, I am. And if you two don't have anything decent to say, I advise you leave. Hermione and I are both well-equipped with hexes and curses."
Lucius sneered and made his way to his seat with Draco and Narcissa.
Snape and Hermione sat down as the food was passed out - gourmet food of all kinds provided by the house elves - delicious cooking - British food, as well as some French (Snape requested food from his homeland, Paris). The house elves had clearly outdone themselves. While everyone else was eating and talking happily, Snape and Hermione were as glum as ever - at least now that they were sitting at the table they didn't have to have their arms around each other like when they were talking to guests - which they only did to keep up the act that they were a happily matched couple. Telling any guests the truth would be too dangerous, as not only the Death Eaters but Voldemort himself was present. They were quietly eating their food, although not really hungry.
The enchanted rock started up Weird Sisters dancing music, and they knew they had to go on stage and share one first dance. Snape raised his eyebrows, but nonetheless played the role of a happy loving groom by extending his hand to Hermione, who took it daintily - they stood and made for the dance floor. It was a romantic slow song most unfortunately - most couples didn't play Ludacris for their first dance at a wedding - it was always a slow song.
At least he knows how to dance, Hermione thought - as she twirled around the dance floor, one arm wrapped around Snape about mid-back, the other hand out, clasping Snape's. His arm was around her lower-back. Hermione shuddered at how close she was to him - it was disgusting. He was her professor just several weeks ago and now.the future was just sickening to think about. Snape was an excellent actor, having to lie to Voldemort and keep up the role of a Death Eater constantly, having to favor his own students and treat the Boy-Who-Lived and muggle-borns and Gryffindors so cruelly.no one knew for sure what his true feelings were about anything, really, as he had to put on so many fronts. Even he wasn't really sure. And now one of the most trying tests - having to pretend to be the loving newly- wed husband to one his former students, for Merlin's sake! What has the world come to??
Finally, the song ended - Hermione and Snape backed away from each other. They were expected to dance more, but thank Merlin it was a fast song. Other people came out and did their stuff - it was a fast heavy-beat pop song. Snape could dance to this, but it was still pretty funny seeing him. Even funnier was when the rap song came up. Snape protested violently against such music at his wedding, but eventually gave in to Hermione's will. Snape had visited America - DC - years ago, where some local teens had taught him to break dance - so Snape went out on the dance floor and did his moves (thank Merlin he's wearing his black pants underneath, Hermione thought). Soon, a crowd gathered around him, watching and cheering him on. Fred and George challenged him - Fred turned out the victor, but it was a close call between the three (George slipped and fell and Snape tripped over him, pulling down Fred as well - Harry called for a pile-on - quite a few jumped on Fred until Ron pointed out that George couldn't breathe.). Hermione and Ginny were watching the whole scenario, muttering 'boys' under their breath.
A few more songs later, another romantic song started up. Hermione breathed deeply through her nose to keep from screaming. Clearly Snape was having the same trouble. Reluctantly, they wrapped their arms around each other again and swirled around the dance floor - Snape was steering. Harry passed by with Parvati - they looked at Hermione and Snape horrified, back at each other, and then broke out into giggles (yes, the Boy-Who-Lived-And-Giggled- Insanely). Finally, after what was far too long, the song ended. A much faster heavy-beat rock/heavy-metal song started up. By now, not only Hermione's generation, but Snape's, and even some older people who probably shouldn't dance because it'd be bad for their health and could cause potential heart attacks or seizures (then again, Dumbledore, Hagrid, Minerva, or Voldie in a full-fledged epileptic seizure would be highly amusing.twitch, twitch.) were out dancing, or at least trying to dance to the music that was far beyond their time. When everyone out on the dance floor was sweating a bit and pink in the face (hee hee! Snape, Voldie, and Lucius all pink in the face! Hee hee.pale people go pink! Note to self - save pictures for black-mail later - their emails as far as I know are evil_glaring_eye@Hogwarts.net , everyone_must_die@Darkwizards.net , and head_stuck_up_my_arse@MinistryoMagic.gov . How often they check, considering they're wizards - at least I think they are - is a different matter).
Hermione and Snape sat down and the music died down to simple background music - people took their seats knowing what was coming. Dobby and Winky lead the way, helping three other house elves bring in the wedding cake. It was a huge seven-layer cake, topped with little moving models of Hermione and Snape at the top. Dobby pulled a huge-ass knife out of his toga-thing and cut the cake, handing a huge-ass to Hermione and Snape. Hermione dug into the cake slice with a fork, but Snape shook his head smiling and scooped a handful out of the slice and tried to feed it to Hermione, but ended up smearing it all over her face.
She took a handful of cake and threw it at him, hitting him in the face. They laughed (Snape laughing? Has Hell frozen over or what?) and ate the slice mostly with their hands, half of the cake ending up on the table, and on their faces. People cheered or took pictures or whatever. Dobby cut the cake and the house elves distributed slices - it was almond-flavored and fluffy. Hermione and Snape wiped all the cake off with their napkins before cutting themselves new slices, this time eating them like sane people (ok, so they're not sane, but close enough). Dobby opened a thing of Chateau Monteau white wine and popped the cork before pouring it in Hermione and Snape's crystal wineglasses.
Snape: "A toast to our future, Hermione."
They raised their glasses, which tinkled on contact. The guests cheered and raised their glasses, making lots of pretty tinkling ringing sounds. Hermione sat back while Snape helped himself to more cake. He found the figurines at the top and took it off to examine it. Hermione leaned forward and laughed. She ran her finger over the highly-detailed wax Snape.
Hermione: "It looks just like you!"
Meanwhile, at another table, Fred and George held their spoons to their glasses, grinning from ear to ear.
Fred: "Time to give our dear Potions professor a little torture, spoon- style, eh, Forge?"
George: "And the prefect who threatened our business too many times back in her fifth year."
Ron saw them - too late. Fred and George clanged their glasses with the spoons, quite audibly - the crystal-clear ring echoed throughout the room, demanding the newly-wed couple kiss.
Ron: "No!"
Harry looked down the table toward Fred and George, and glanced up at his poor friend Hermione. His jaw dropped when Hermione and Snape pecked each other on the lips. Fred and George grinned and kept clinging the glass faster and faster - Hermione and Snape had to exchange a brief kiss about seventeen times before the glass broke. Fred and George grinned and picked up another - before a fuming Mrs. Weasley standing between them grabbed their wrists and yelled at them; Fred and George's smiles didn't falter however- they had long ago grown immune to her shouting. They did stop however, when Ron pointed out that Hermione had helped them invent the newest addition to their stock inventory.
People eventually started leaving. Harry approached Hermione and Snape, looking as grim as they did.
